“Ask What Makes You Come Alive” — Dr Shawn Hondorp

When you’re used to noticing what everyone else needs, asking what makes you come alive can feel surprisingly difficult. Perhaps even a little selfish. But what happens when your own desires keep getting left out of your life?

This week, I’m joined by clinical health psychologist, coach and host of The Innovative Therapist podcast, Dr Shawn Hondorp. She brings a thought from Howard Thurman that you might recognise: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

It’s the same thought Selina Barker brought to the podcast — a first for the show. I was curious about where those same words would take a different person. With Shawn, they lead us into a generous, personal conversation about people-pleasing, shame, body trust and the possibility of wanting more than simply getting through our days.

Shawn shares her experience of recovering from binge eating disorder, recognising patterns of overworking and finding something in dance that understanding herself intellectually hadn’t quite offered. We explore the gap between knowing we want to stop performing for others and actually feeling able to be ourselves, how creativity can help us recover a sense of choice, and what Internal Family Systems, or “parts work”, has offered her.

Shawn Hondorp, PhD is a clinical health psychologist, coach, and host of The Innovative Therapist Podcast. She helps people move beyond binge and emotional eating, people-pleasing, and patterns of self-abandonment to build deep self-trust, reconnect with their desires, and create lives that feel genuinely nourishing and meaningful.

Her work blends psychology, nervous system awareness, and parts work with a deep curiosity about what it means to be fully alive. Through individual therapy and coaching, retreats, and community experiences, Shawn invites people to question the default ways we've been taught to live, work, and care for ourselves.

Her own journey of reconnecting with dance, creativity, play, and adventure has shaped her belief that healing isn't just about reducing symptoms or fixing what's wrong. It's also about making space for more connection, freedom, joy, and possibility.

Learn more at www.drshawnhondorp.com or listen to The Innovative Therapist Podcast.

Books mentioned in this episode

• The Art of Gathering — Priya Parker
• The Art of Fighting — Priya Parker
• The Big Leap — Gay Hendricks
• How to Be Selfish — Suzy Reading

Keep exploring
Listen back to Selina Barker’s episode, “Ask What Makes You Come Alive”.

Find my emotions coaching, workshops and our guided journal at If Lost, Start Here.

This episode includes discussion of binge eating disorder, disordered eating and relational trauma.

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About Claire Fitzsimmons

Claire is the host of A Thought I Kept, a wellbeing writer, author and the co-founder of If Lost Start Here. As a Certified Coach and Emotions Coach Practitioner, Claire helps people navigate the everyday lost moments and all the feelings, from anxiety to grief, overwhelm to disconnection.

Buy Claire's first book, If Lost Start Here: Wellbeing for the Anxious, Disconnected or Uncertain here.

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The music for all episodes from August 10th was made by Leon in the Wilderness.