EP 261: When It's Not Working: Troubleshooting

You've learned about the nervous system, you're trying to co-regulate, you're thinking about felt safety and connection — and the behavior is still happening! WHY?!?! This episode is a troubleshooting guide for exactly that moment. Instead of going back to the drawing board, we're going deeper into the same map: getting curious about regulation, felt safety, connection, and skills to figure out what the nervous system actually needs.

In this episode you'll learn:

• Why the question is never "what consequence haven't I tried yet?" — and what to ask instead
• How to troubleshoot each of the four conditions that need to be in place for behavior to be okay: regulation, felt safety, connection, and skills
• Why a child can "know" a skill and still not be able to access it — and what scaffolding that skill actually looks like

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Podcast Episodes

• Ep 198: All Behavior Makes Sense — deep dive into the moment the behavioral impulse fires
• Ep. 9: Building the Tower of Self Regulation — very early episode about trust and what it means for kids with vulnerable nervous systems; link to go in show notes
• Starts at Ep. 161: Felt Safety series — multiple episodes: one on inside, one on outside, one on between

Books

• Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors — specifically Chapter 7 (Nat's story); available in paperback, ebook, and audio wherever books are sold; bulk ordering at RobynGobbel.com/Book
• Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors — pre-order available; publishes September 21; signed copies available through her local bookstore

Free Resources

• Free Resource Hub — RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub
• Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors — free audio training for professionals; May 4–8, 2026; register at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors

Paid / Member Resources

• The Club resource library — includes the troubleshooting worksheet and the Growing a Child's Owl Brain with Felt Safety packet/workbook (~40 pages) RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
• Professional Immersion Program — students and alumni also have access to the troubleshooting worksheet RobynGobbel.com/Immersion

In-Person Trainings

• Full list at RobynGobbel.com/Training

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/itsnotworking

Register for the last webinar of 2026!

How Do I Stay X calm X REGULATED?! on November 19, 2026 at 8pm eastern.

RobynGobbel.com/StayCalm

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)