The Best of You
- Episodios
- 399
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- a diario
- Último episodio
- 13 Nov 2026
Sobre el podcast
Join therapist and author, Dr. Alison Cook, as she guides you through some of your toughest challenges with wisdom, kindness, and grace. Together with friends and experts we'll unpack the best of psychology from a faith-based perspective. You’ll discover how to break free from painful patterns, mend your past, and discover what brings out the best of you.
Episodios 399
How to Trust God When You Don't Know How Things Will Turn Out
Today's Scripture: Hebrews 11:1, 8, 13 It's often easier to trust God when life is going according to plan. But what happens when the future becomes uncertain, your prayers seem unanswered, or the outcome …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Hebrews 11:1, 8, 13
It's often easier to trust God when life is going according to plan. But what happens when the future becomes uncertain, your prayers seem unanswered, or the outcome you've hoped for remains out of reach?Hebrews 11 offers a surprising picture of faith—one that makes room for both deep trust and honest uncertainty.
We explore:- The paradox of faith: finding solid ground amid uncertainty
- What Abraham's story teaches us about stepping into the unknown
- Why faith doesn't guarantee the outcomes we hope for
- How to trust God without bypassing fear, disappointment, or doubt
Go Deeper:
For more on navigating uncertainty and the complexities of faith, explore The Best of You and I Shouldn't Feel This Way
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
234: When You're Healing but the People Around You Aren't with Rebecca Ching
What happens when you do the hard work of becoming healthier, but the people and systems around you keep pulling you back into old patterns? In this conversation, Dr. Alison welcomes therapist, leadership …
Notas del episodio
What happens when you do the hard work of becoming healthier, but the people and systems around you keep pulling you back into old patterns?
In this conversation, Dr. Alison welcomes therapist, leadership coach, and podcast host Rebecca Ching, LMFT to explore the powerful influence that families, workplaces, churches, and communities have on our ability to grow. They unpack what happens when one person’s healing challenges the status quo, why certain people become labeled as the problem, and how deeply ingrained patterns can keep unhealthy dynamics in place.
In this episode, you'll discover:
- Why the person identified as the problem might actually be revealing something much bigger.
- What happens when personal growth disrupts the unspoken rules of a family, workplace, or faith community.
- The subtle red flags that can be easy to miss when an unhealthy dynamic feels familiar.
- How to recognize when it's time to challenge the status quo, create space, and listen to what your inner world is telling you.
Together, they look at the tension between belonging and becoming, the signals that a system may not be as healthy as it appears, and what it takes to recognize our own role in these patterns without taking responsibility for everyone else’s behavior.
About Rebecca Ching:
Rebecca Ching, LMFT, PCC, is a leadership developer, psychotherapist, professional certified coach, entrepreneur, writer, speaker, and podcast host. She brings a systemic approach to helping individuals and teams navigate growth, relationships, and meaningful change. Rebecca is a Certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapist, EMDR Certified Therapist, Certified Eating Disorder Specialist and Consultant, and AAMFT Approved Supervisor. She is also an IFSI Approved Clinical Consultant, Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator, EMDR Consultant-in-Training, and polyvagal-informed practitioner and systemic team coach.
More Resources:
Learn more about Rebecca Ching and The Unburdened Leader podcast here.
Get exclusive access to the first 2 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.
Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram
📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here
Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts!
StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth! Right now, save up to $20 during Storyworth’s Holiday sale when you go to STORYWORTH.com/bestofyou! That’s STORYWORTH.com/bestofyou to save up to $20 on your order!
Remi - Use code BESTOFYOU to get 55% off your new night guard from now until the end of this month with Remi Club. Go to shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 55% off this month with Remi Club. Don’t miss out on the opportunity to save up to 75% this month on select bundles while supplies last!
Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!
Head to AquaTru.com now and get 20% off your purifier using promocode BESTOFYOU AquaTru even comes with a 30-day best-tasting water guarantee or your money back. Take the guesswork out of pure, great-tasting water with this exclusive, podcast-only offer now at AquaTru.com using promo code BESTOFYOU!
*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why We All Need Someone Who Will Tell Us the Truth
Today's Scripture: Exodus 18:13–24 (selected verses) Have you ever had someone who loves you point out something about yourself that you didn't want to hear? Even when feedback comes from someone we trust, it …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Exodus 18:13–24 (selected verses)
Have you ever had someone who loves you point out something about yourself that you didn't want to hear? Even when feedback comes from someone we trust, it can be uncomfortable to discover a blind spot. An encounter between Moses and his father-in-law, Jethro, offers a powerful picture of what becomes possible when we're willing to speak honestly—and humble enough to listen.
We explore:- Why even wise, capable people have blind spots
- The difference between being nice and being genuinely kind
- What makes it possible to receive difficult feedback
- How honest conversations deepen trust and help us grow
Go Deeper:
For more on naming what's hard in ourselves and our relationships check out I Shouldn't Feel This Way : Name What’s Hard, Tame Your Guilt, and Transform Self-Sabotage into Brave Action
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
When Being Right Becomes Cruel: Jesus' Masterclass in Confronting Cruelty
Today's Scripture: John 8:2–11 What happens when our certainty that we're right causes us to lose sight of another person's humanity? In a powerful encounter with a woman publicly humiliated by religious …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: John 8:2–11
What happens when our certainty that we're right causes us to lose sight of another person's humanity? In a powerful encounter with a woman publicly humiliated by religious leaders, Jesus demonstrates a remarkable kind of strength. His response challenges the cruelty we sometimes justify in the name of righteousness—and offers a different way to confront wrongdoing.
We explore:- Why moral certainty can sometimes lead to cruelty
- How Jesus confronts public humiliation without becoming cruel
- The subtle ways we justify dehumanizing people we disagree with
- What it means to stand for truth without losing compassion
Go Deeper:
Episode 176: Love in the Age of Violence
Episode 101: Exploring the Violence that Shapes Our Family Stories & How to Heal with Lisa Jo Baker
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How to Hold Onto Hope When You’re Afraid of Disappointment
Today's Scripture: Proverbs 13:12 Have you ever wanted something so deeply that the longer you wait, the more you begin to doubt yourself? Whether it's a relationship, an opportunity, or a dream you've worked …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Proverbs 13:12
Have you ever wanted something so deeply that the longer you wait, the more you begin to doubt yourself? Whether it's a relationship, an opportunity, or a dream you've worked toward for years, unfulfilled longing can create an exhausting inner battle between hope and fear. How do you honor what you deeply desire without becoming consumed by an outcome you can't control?
explore:- Why prolonged waiting can intensify both longing and self-doubt
- The hidden fears underneath our urge to give up
- How to hold hope and radical acceptance together
- A simple exercise for tending to the parts of you that long and doubt
Go Deeper:
For more on navigating unmet longings and caring for your inner world, explore related reflections at dralisoncook.com/blog.
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How to Find Inner Strength Through the Armor of God
Today's Scripture: Ephesians 6:10–18 How do you become stronger on the inside when fear, doubt, or temptation threatens to pull you off course? In today's episode, we explore Paul's powerful image of the armor …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Ephesians 6:10–18
How do you become stronger on the inside when fear, doubt, or temptation threatens to pull you off course? In today's episode, we explore Paul's powerful image of the armor of God—and what it means to develop inner strength without relying on willpower alone.
We explore:
- What it really means to be strong in God
- The surprising connection between our choices and God's power
- How to understand spiritual warfare without becoming fixated
- What helps us stand firm when life feels overwhelming
Go Deeper:
Read: The Secure Soul and The Secure Soul Companion Guide
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
233: The Paradox of Surrender—How Letting Go of Control Makes Us More Free with Dr. Anna Lembke
Would we rather be in control than happy? What happens when science, therapy, and sheer determination can't fix what's broken? Is there another way forward? Dr. Anna Lembke, Stanford psychiatrist and …
Notas del episodio
Would we rather be in control than happy?
What happens when science, therapy, and sheer determination can't fix what's broken? Is there another way forward?
Dr. Anna Lembke, Stanford psychiatrist and bestselling author of Dopamine Nation, joins us for a fascinating conversation about her new book, Radical Surrender: Letting Go in a World Addicted to Control.
Anna shares how profound personal loss challenged everything she believed about control, accomplishment, and her place in the world—and led her to an unexpected spiritual awakening.
We explore:
- Why our best efforts sometimes aren't enough
- When control becomes a substitute for faith
- The surprising connection between surrender and transformation
- How to let go of control without giving up our agency
- How surrender changes us and our relationships
- How prayer can become a practice of surrender
Together, Dr. Alison and Dr. Lembke explore the surprising intersection of psychology, neuroscience, and spirituality.
About Dr. Anna Lembke:
Dr. Anna Lembke is a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine and Chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic. An internationally recognized expert in addiction medicine, she has published more than 100 scholarly works. She is the author of the New York Times bestseller Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence.
Get Dr. Anna Lembke’s new book: Radical Surrender: Letting Go in a World Addicted to Control
Learn more about Dr. Anna Lembke here.
Get exclusive access to the first 2 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.
Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram
📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here
Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts!
StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth! Right now, save up to $20 during Storyworth’s Holiday sale when you go to STORYWORTH.com/bestofyou! That’s STORYWORTH.com/bestofyou to save up to $20 on your order!
Remi - Use code BESTOFYOU to get 55% off your new night guard from now until the end of this month with Remi Club. Go to shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 55% off this month with Remi Club. Don’t miss out on the opportunity to save up to 75% this month on select bundles while supplies last!
Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!
*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
When Your Anger Takes Over: How to Let Go Without Letting Injustice Win
Today's Scripture: Jonah 4:1–11 What happens when your anger is justified—but begins to take over? Anger can alert us to injustice, protect us from harm, and help us recognize what matters. But it can also keep …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Jonah 4:1–11
What happens when your anger is justified—but begins to take over? Anger can alert us to injustice, protect us from harm, and help us recognize what matters. But it can also keep us trapped in our own perspective. Through the surprising story of Jonah, we explore what happens when anger becomes entitlement—and how to find a wiser way forward.
We explore:
- The difference between feeling anger and becoming consumed by it
- Why needing to be "right" can keep us stuck
- What anger reveals about our need for control
- How to honor anger without losing perspective
Go Deeper:
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How to Recognize Religious Manipulation and Spiritual Abuse
Today's Scripture: Luke 12:1–7 What happens when the people who are supposed to represent God's love use fear, shame, or control instead? Jesus has some surprisingly strong words for religious leaders who …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Luke 12:1–7
What happens when the people who are supposed to represent God's love use fear, shame, or control instead? Jesus has some surprisingly strong words for religious leaders who misuse their influence. Today, we explore what happens when religious hypocrisy distorts our view of God—and how to begin finding our way back to what is true.
We explore:
- The hidden danger of religious hypocrisy
- When spiritual authority becomes manipulation
- Why questioning a leader can feel so threatening
- What Jesus says to those who've been hurt
Go Deeper:
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How to Be Content When You're Lonely—Without Giving Up Hope
Today's Scripture: Psalm 142:1–5 How do you learn to be content when you're lonely and longing for companionship? Inspired by a listener's heartfelt question, today's episode explores how to honor the ache of …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Psalm 142:1–5
How do you learn to be content when you're lonely and longing for companionship? Inspired by a listener's heartfelt question, today's episode explores how to honor the ache of loneliness without letting fear determine the rest of your story.
We explore:
Why loneliness isn't a failure of faith
What to do with the fear of being alone forever
What contentment really means
How to hold both longing and hope
Go Deeper:
Episode 134: A Personal Journey Through OCD with Therapist Ryan Kuja
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why You Keep Doing What You Don't Want to Do (And How to Change)
Today's Scripture: Romans 7:15 Have you ever wondered why you keep repeating a behavior you genuinely want to change? Sometimes it feels like there's a whole committee meeting inside your mind, with different …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Romans 7:15
Have you ever wondered why you keep repeating a behavior you genuinely want to change? Sometimes it feels like there's a whole committee meeting inside your mind, with different parts of you pulling in different directions. Understanding these inner tensions can help you break free from old patterns without getting caught in shame and self-criticism.
- Why different parts of you can want conflicting things
- What's underneath the habits you can't seem to break
- How curiosity and compassion create room for change
- What Paul's words about grace teach us about inner transformation
Go Deeper:
For more on understanding and caring for the different parts of your soul, read Boundaries for Your Soul and The Secure Soul
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
232: When You Believe God Loves You, But Still Feel Like You Have to Earn It with Stasi Eldredge
What happens when you believe God loves you, but deep down, you still feel like you have to earn it? For many of us, the way we experienced love growing up shapes the way we relate to God. We may know the right …
Notas del episodio
What happens when you believe God loves you, but deep down, you still feel like you have to earn it?
For many of us, the way we experienced love growing up shapes the way we relate to God. We may know the right things about his love, yet find ourselves striving to be good enough, serve enough, or do enough to deserve it.
In today's conversation, Dr. Alison is joined by beloved author and speaker Stasi Eldredge, whose new book, The Ladder of Love, explores the many ways Scripture invites us into a deeper, more intimate relationship with God.
We explore:
*How your childhood experiences shape the way you see God
*Why knowing you're loved and feeling loved can be so different
*7 surprising ways Scripture describes our relationship with God
*What it looks like to grow closer to God in everyday life
*What Stasi wishes she'd known about God's love years ago
Stasi shares her own remarkable journey—from encountering Jesus as a young woman, to struggling with depression and wounds from her childhood, to discovering a relationship with God as Father that transformed how she understood herself and his love.
About Stasi Eldredge:
Stasi Eldredge is an author and speaker passionate about helping women experience the goodness of God and the transforming love of Jesus. With a background in sociology and decades of ministry experience spanning youth, women, children, and crisis pregnancy support, she is dedicated to helping others grow deeper in their faith and discover the freedom found in Christ.
More Resources:
Get Stasi’s new book: Ladder of Love.
Learn more about Stasi Eldredge here.
Get exclusive access to the first 2 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.
Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram
📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here
Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts!
Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!
*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How to Trust God When the Future Feels Uncertain
Today's Scripture: Exodus 16:4, 16, 19 When you're facing an uncertain future, it's natural to want a plan, some reassurance, or a glimpse of how everything will turn out. But what happens when God doesn't give …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Exodus 16:4, 16, 19
When you're facing an uncertain future, it's natural to want a plan, some reassurance, or a glimpse of how everything will turn out. But what happens when God doesn't give you the clarity you're hoping for? The Israelites' experience in the wilderness offers a surprising lesson about uncertainty, daily provision, and learning to trust God one day at a time.
We explore:
- Why uncertainty can make us long for the familiarity of the past
- The difference between wise planning and trying to control the future
- What the Israelites' daily manna teaches us about trusting God
- How to recognize what's yours to do today—and what isn't yours to control
Go Deeper:
Episode 208 Spiritual Dryness, Burnout, and the Desert Seasons of Faith with Tish Harrison Warren
Read I Shouldn't Feel This Way
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Difference Between Sacrificial Love and Self-Abandonment
Today's Scripture: John 15:12–13 Jesus calls us to love sacrificially. But how do you know when you're making a healthy sacrifice for someone you love—and when you're slowly losing yourself in the process? The …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: John 15:12–13
Jesus calls us to love sacrificially. But how do you know when you're making a healthy sacrifice for someone you love—and when you're slowly losing yourself in the process? The distinction matters, especially when you've learned to equate being a good Christian with always putting yourself last.
We explore:
- What Jesus' own sense of belovedness teaches us about sacrificial love
- The subtle difference between healthy sacrifice and over-functioning
- Why denying yourself doesn't mean abandoning yourself
- How to discern what love is actually asking of you in a relationship
Go Deeper:
For more on loving others without losing yourself, read The Best of You
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why You Can't Stop People-Pleasing (Even When You Want To)
Today's Scripture: Proverbs 29:25 Have you ever said yes when you wanted to say no—or agreed with someone just to avoid conflict? People-pleasing can become an automatic response, especially when you've learned …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Proverbs 29:25
Have you ever said yes when you wanted to say no—or agreed with someone just to avoid conflict? People-pleasing can become an automatic response, especially when you've learned that keeping others happy is the safest way to maintain connection. But you can begin to change this pattern without losing your compassion for others.
We explore:
Why people-pleasing can feel almost impossible to stop
What fawning reveals about your fear of disappointing others
How to find security beyond someone else's approval
Small ways to practice saying no without guilt
Go Deeper:
For more on how to recognize protective patterns and retrain your soul to find security in God's love, explore The Secure Soul and The Secure Soul Companion Guide
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How to Be Discerning Without Becoming Cynical
Today's Scripture: 1 John 4:1–2 How do you become wise about who to trust without growing suspicious of everyone? In a world full of charismatic leaders, confident voices, and competing spiritual claims, John's …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: 1 John 4:1–2
How do you become wise about who to trust without growing suspicious of everyone? In a world full of charismatic leaders, confident voices, and competing spiritual claims, John's instruction to "test the spirits" offers a powerful way to practice discernment while keeping your heart open.
In today's episode, we explore:
- What John really means by "testing the spirits"
- Why charisma and confidence can cloud our judgment
- How to recognize the difference between spiritual authority and genuine character
- Three practical ways to grow in discernment without becoming cynical
Go Deeper:
Episode 231: How to Know Who You Can Trust: The Difference Between Charisma, Character, and Real Change
Episode 190: Self-Brain Surgery, Overcoming Trauma, and the Courage to Change How You Think with Dr. Lee Warren
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
231: How to Know Who You Can Trust in a Narcissistic Age: Charisma, Character & the Signs of Real Change with Dr. Chuck DeGroat
How do you know you can trust someone? In a world where charisma, confidence, and even vulnerability can be carefully performed, knowing who we can trust feels more important than ever. In this powerful …
Notas del episodio
How do you know you can trust someone?
In a world where charisma, confidence, and even vulnerability can be carefully performed, knowing who we can trust feels more important than ever.
In this powerful conversation, Dr. Alison sits down with longtime friend, therapist, and author Dr. Chuck DeGroat to explore what real character looks like, why genuine change is slower than we want it to be, and how to discern the difference between surface-level transformation and lasting integrity. Together, they unpack this incredibly important question of discerning when someone is trustworthy, as well as how to become people of character ourselves.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
* Why charisma and vulnerability don’t always signal trustworthy character.
* How to recognize manipulation disguised as emotional maturity or spiritual wisdom.
* What genuine character change looks like and how long it takes
* How to balance compassion for others with healthy boundaries and accountability.
About Dr. Chuck DeGroat:
Dr. Chuck DeGroat is a professor, licensed therapist, author, and ordained minister specializing in pastoral health, spiritual abuse, religious trauma, and emotional and spiritual well-being. He serves as Professor of Counseling and Christian Spirituality and Founding Executive Director of the Clinical Mental Health Counseling Program at Western Theological Seminary. He is also the founder of The Soul Care Collaborative and a faculty member at the Soul Care Institute. With decades of experience in pastoral ministry, leadership development, and trauma-informed care, Dr. DeGroat helps individuals and church leaders navigate emotional and spiritual challenges toward greater wholeness and flourishing.
More Resources:
Get Dr. Chuck DeGroat's new book: Who You're Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age
Find more information about Dr. Chuck DeGroat here.
Get exclusive access to the first 2 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.
Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram
📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.
Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for us to bring you these resources for free!
Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!
*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
3 Ways to Build Stronger, Healthier Friendships
Today's Scripture: Proverbs 27:9, 17 Finding good friends as an adult can be surprisingly difficult. Friendships change, life circumstances shift, and loneliness can creep in even when we're surrounded by …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Proverbs 27:9, 17
Finding good friends as an adult can be surprisingly difficult. Friendships change, life circumstances shift, and loneliness can creep in even when we're surrounded by people. Proverbs offers a beautiful picture of friendship that combines genuine enjoyment with the kind of honesty and wisdom that helps us grow.
In today's episode, we explore:
- Two surprising qualities of a good friendship
- Why the people you spend time with shape who you become
- What psychology reveals about how long it takes to build a close friendship
- How to recognize and cultivate friendships that can weather disagreements and disappointments
Go Deeper:
Episode 58: How to Find Friends Who Bring Out the Best of You with Curt Thompson
Episode 61: Reconnecting with Old Friends
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How to Stay Strong When Others Question Your Choices
Today's Scripture: Matthew 16:21–23 What happens when someone who genuinely loves you questions a decision you know you need to make? Even Jesus faced resistance from a close friend who wanted to protect him …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Matthew 16:21–23
What happens when someone who genuinely loves you questions a decision you know you need to make? Even Jesus faced resistance from a close friend who wanted to protect him. His response reveals something surprising about the relationship between selflessness, inner strength, and staying true to your calling.
In today's episode, we explore:
- Why even people who love us can give misguided advice
- What Jesus reveals about the strength behind true selflessness
- How to build confidence in your own voice, one small step at a time
- How to stay connected to someone without letting their fears guide your decisions
Go Deeper:
For more on developing a strong sense of self, explore The Best of You
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
When You're Not Ready to Act: The Wisdom of Waiting on God
Today's Scripture: Psalm 31:14–20 Have you ever been in a painful situation where others are urging you to take action, but something deep within you is telling you to wait? There's a difference between …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Psalm 31:14–20
Have you ever been in a painful situation where others are urging you to take action, but something deep within you is telling you to wait? There's a difference between avoiding a hard decision and discerning that the time to act hasn't yet come. Psalm 31 offers a powerful picture of what it means to face difficult circumstances honestly while entrusting yourself to God's timing.
In today's episode, we explore:
- How to discern the difference between passive avoidance and the spiritual wisdom of waiting on God
- What David's prayer, "My times are in your hands," teaches us about trusting God amid injustice, uncertainty, and suffering
- What it means to suffer wisely
- How to recognize when the time has come to speak up, advocate for yourself or someone you love, or take the next courageous step
Go Deeper:
For more on discerning when to fight for change, when to leave, and when to suffer wisely, explore I Shouldn't Feel This Way
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
When Your Mind Turns Against You: How to Resist the Lies
Today's Scripture: James 4:7 (listener request) How do you know whether painful thoughts are coming from a wounded part of your soul or from spiritual opposition? When we're caught in cycles of rumination …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: James 4:7 (listener request)
How do you know whether painful thoughts are coming from a wounded part of your soul or from spiritual opposition? When we're caught in cycles of rumination, self-criticism, or shame, discerning what's happening within us can be complicated. But we don't always have to identify the exact source of a thought to know how to respond to it.
We explore:
*How psychology and spiritual warfare intersect
*Why painful feelings need compassion, but shaming thoughts need to be challenged
*What James 4:7 teaches us about resisting lies
*How to practice compassion and discernment in God's presence
Go deeper:Episode 197: Am I Under Attack—or Just Overwhelmed? Spiritual Warfare and Personal Responsibility with Joel Muddamalle
Episode 229: Why Your Soul Needs Quiet in a Noisy World with John Mark Comer
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
230. When Rest Isn’t Enough: Dr. Henry Cloud on Burnout, Boundaries, and What Your Soul Needs
Have you ever wondered whether you're truly burned out or simply depleted? And what happens when, in the process of meeting everyone else's needs, you lose touch with important parts of yourself? In this …
Notas del episodio
Have you ever wondered whether you're truly burned out or simply depleted? And what happens when, in the process of meeting everyone else's needs, you lose touch with important parts of yourself?
In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with Dr. Henry Cloud, clinical psychologist, leadership expert, and co-author of the trailblazing book, Boundaries, to explore how we can recognize burnout, restore our emotional health, and reconnect with the parts of ourselves we may have lost along the way.
Drawing from his new book, Renewal: 90 Daily Readings for Restoring Your Mind, Your Boundaries, Your Relationships, and Your Peace, Dr. Cloud shares why rest alone isn't always enough, how our emotions signal when something is out of balance, and why healthy relationships help us become more fully ourselves.
Dr. Cloud also shares a powerful personal story about his own childhood that you do not want to miss.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
*The difference between depletion and burnout
*How to tell when your rhythms and boundaries need attention.
*Why structure is so important, and how to set intentional rhythms of rest and renewal
*How safe relationships can help us reclaim lost parts of ourselves.
About Dr. Henry Cloud:
Dr. Henry Cloud is a clinical psychologist, leadership expert, and New York Times bestselling author. He has written or co-written more than 45 books, including the bestselling Boundaries, with nearly 20 million copies sold worldwide. Drawing on his experience in clinical psychology, executive coaching, and leadership consulting, Dr. Cloud helps individuals and organizations strengthen relationships, develop healthy boundaries, and reach their full potential. He works with CEOs, leadership teams, and executives to improve performance, leadership, and organizational culture.
More Resources:
Dr. Henry Cloud is the author of a new book: Renewal: 90 Daily Readings for Restoring Your Mind, Your Boundaries, Your Relationships, and Your Peace
Other books of Dr. Henry Cloud
Listeners get exclusive access to the first 2 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.
Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram
📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.
Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts!
Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!
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*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What to Do When Someone Insists on Misunderstanding You
Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 17:28-30 (Listener request) Have you ever felt like you're always the one being blamed or misunderstood in your family or relationships? When you're repeatedly cast as the difficult …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 17:28-30 (Listener request)
Have you ever felt like you're always the one being blamed or misunderstood in your family or relationships? When you're repeatedly cast as the difficult or sensitive one, it's easy to begin questioning your own perspective—and even your sense of who you are.
We explore:
*What family systems theory teaches us about scapegoating and the roles we take on in relationships
*How being repeatedly blamed can shape your identity and make it difficult to trust your own perspective
What David's response to his brother reveals about the freedom to stop defending yourself against every accusation
How to become a truth-teller and pattern breaker, taking responsibility for what's yours without carrying what belongs to others
Go deeper: Explore The Best of You and The Secure SoulFor help navigating painful family dynamics, find therapy resources at www.dralisoncook.com/resources
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Do You Want to Be Well? When Healing Doesn't Look Like You Expected
Today's Scripture: John 5:1-6 Is there an area of your life where you've longed for healing but have almost given up on things changing? Maybe you've prayed, sought help, and tried everything you know to do …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: John 5:1-6
Is there an area of your life where you've longed for healing but have almost given up on things changing? Maybe you've prayed, sought help, and tried everything you know to do. Sometimes we become so accustomed to our circumstances—or so attached to a particular vision of healing—that we struggle to imagine what else might be possible.
explore:*Various ways we respond to Jesus' question, "Do you want to get well?"
*How we adapt to painful circumstances, and why familiar patterns can make change feel unsettling
*What happens when we focus so intently on obstacles & outcomes that we lose sight of the One who offers healing
*How to bring our honest longings to GodGo Deeper: Episode 227: What Trusting God Really Looks Like When You Can’t Control the Outcome with Susie Larson
Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
When Your Soul Is Asking for Connection
Today's Scripture: Psalm 139:13–16 Have you ever found yourself reaching for your phone, looking for something to eat when you're not hungry, or compulsively checking things off your to-do list? Sometimes these …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Psalm 139:13–16
Have you ever found yourself reaching for your phone, looking for something to eat when you're not hungry, or compulsively checking things off your to-do list? Sometimes these are simply habits. But sometimes they're small signals from within—what I like to think of as your soul's bids for connection. In today's episode, we explore:
*Why we are both wonderfully made and wounded—and what that means for how we relate to ourselves
*How the Gottmans' concept of bids for connection applies to our inner lives
*How to recognize the subtle ways your soul asks for attention
*How to invite God's loving presence into the hidden places within you
Go deeper: Explore The Secure Soul: Finding Inner Strength and Connection When Trust Doesn't Come Easy at TheSecureSoulBook.com.Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Letting God's Love Reach Every Part of You
Today's Scripture: Ephesians 3:14–21 You may know in your head that God loves you. But what does it mean to actually experience that love in the deepest places of who you are?In today’s episode, Dr. Alison …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Ephesians 3:14–21
You may know in your head that God loves you. But what does it mean to actually experience that love in the deepest places of who you are?
In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on what it means to become rooted and established in love. She explores how God’s love can begin to reach the fearful, striving, and hurting parts of us—not just as something we believe, but as something we learn to receive.
Go Deeper: Learn more about becoming rooted in God’s love in The Secure Soul and The Secure Soul Companion Guide— find free resources at thesecuresoulbook.com.Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
229. Why Your Soul Needs Quiet in a Noisy World with John Mark Comer
What happens when we finally get quiet enough to encounter ourselves, God, and what’s underneath all the noise? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook is joined by former pastor and New York Times bestselling author …
Notas del episodio
What happens when we finally get quiet enough to encounter ourselves, God, and what’s underneath all the noise?
In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook is joined by former pastor and New York Times bestselling author John Mark Comer to talk about his new book, Into the Quiet, and the surprisingly difficult practice of silence and solitude. They talk about what happens when we stop filling every empty space with our phones, work, entertainment, and distraction. What comes up in the quiet isn’t always what we expect.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
* Why getting quiet can be difficult but what we can discover when we finally slow down
* How silence and solitude can help us become more present to ourselves and to God
* How to recognize the difference between healthy reflection and rumination
* When we’re meeting a part of our own soul vs. the enemy of our soul
* How to start practicing quietness in small, manageable steps
As John Mark says, “The point is just to offer ourselves more deeply to God.”
About John Mark Comer:
John Mark Comer is a teacher and a writer. He has his Masters in Biblical and Theological Studies and a Teacher in Residence at Vintage Church LA. He is a New York Times bestselling author of seven books. His most recent book is Into the Quiet: Following Jesus in a World of Noise.
More Resources:
Into the Quiet: Following Jesus in a World of Noise by John Mark Comer
Other books by John Mark Comer
The Practicing the Way nonprofit
Past episode with John Mark Comer and Dr. Alison Cook on the Best of You is here.
Dr. Alison Cook with John Mark Comer on the Rule of Life Podcast
Listeners get exclusive access to the first 2 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.
Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram
📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here
Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts!
Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!
Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU.*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How to Stop Fighting the Season You’re In
Today's Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1–11 What if the season you’re in isn’t something to escape, but something to name honestly? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the invitation to recognize the season …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1–11
What if the season you’re in isn’t something to escape, but something to name honestly? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the invitation to recognize the season of life you’re actually living. Some seasons hold joy, others grief, and many hold both at once. Naming what’s true can help us stop fighting reality and become more open to God’s presence within it.
Go Deeper: Learn more about the practice of naming what’s hard in I Shouldn’t Feel This Way. You can read the first few chapters free at dralisoncook.com/book.Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Loving Your Inner Enemy
Today's Scripture: Luke 10:29–37 What if the part of you you most want to get rid of is also carrying something important?In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the parable of the Good Samaritan and turns …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Luke 10:29–37
What if the part of you you most want to get rid of is also carrying something important?
In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the parable of the Good Samaritan and turns the story inward. She explores the parts of us we distrust, criticize, or try to push away—and how learning to meet those places with compassion can change the way we love God, ourselves, and other people.
Go Deeper: Learn more about working with the different parts of your soul in Boundaries for Your Soul and The Secure Soul at dralisoncook.com/books.Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What to Do When Too Many Voices Are Pulling You Apart
Today's Scripture: Psalm 86:11 There are so many voices competing for our attention—telling us what to believe, what to fear, who to distrust, and where our loyalty belongs.In today’s episode, Dr. Alison …
Notas del episodio
Today's Scripture: Psalm 86:11
There are so many voices competing for our attention—telling us what to believe, what to fear, who to distrust, and where our loyalty belongs.
In today’s episode, Dr. Alison returns to a simple prayer for an undivided heart. She explores what it looks like to become more deeply rooted in God, and how bringing every part of yourself honestly into God’s presence.
Go Deeper: Notice one place where you feel scattered, pressured, or pulled by the voices around you today. Pause before reacting and pray: “Teach me your way, Lord. Give me an undivided heart.”
And listen Thursday for Alison’s conversation with John Mark Comer about his new book, Into the Quiet.Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook
Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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