Compassion in a T-Shirt
- Épisodes
- 149
- Parution
- hebdomadaire
- Dernier épisode
- 12 Nov 2026
À propos du podcast
A podcast exploring the science and practice of compassion. Offers clear and practical advice on how to cultivate compassion and self-compassion from experts in the field. Life can be difficult, and this podcast is designed to help. Compassion in a T-Shirt has featured guests including Professor Paul Gilbert, Professor Terri Moyers, Professor James Doty, Deirdre Fay, Dr Chris Germer, Dr Kristin Neff, Dr Marcela Matos, Dr James Kirby, and more.
Épisodes 149
How Compassion Helps When You Feel Like an Imposter | Courtney Katzenberg
What happens when you care deeply about your work, but keep wondering, “Who am I to be doing this?” And what does it actually mean to be self-compassionate when you’re struggling?In this episode of Compassion …
Notes de l’épisode
What happens when you care deeply about your work, but keep wondering, “Who am I to be doing this?” And what does it actually mean to be self-compassionate when you’re struggling?
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I’m joined by psychotherapist Courtney Katzenberg for a warm, honest conversation about imposter feelings, shame, parenting, and discovering compassion focused therapy (CFT).
Courtney’s journey began as a new parent, when someone suggested she “be self-compassionate”—and she realised she didn’t know how. That question led her into master’s research involving 250 mothers, exploring self-compassion, reflective functioning and parental burnout. Later, searching for ways to help clients with shame, she discovered CFT.
We explore how CFT’s three circles model helps us understand imposter feelings: the fear of judgement, the pressure to prove ourselves, and the temptation to hold back rather than risk failure. We also discuss social comparison, self-esteem versus self-compassion, and finding a balance between humility and having the courage to contribute.
Courtney shares how an imagined compassionate other named Brenda helped her develop a more supportive inner voice. Along the way, we reflect on our own experiences of uncertainty as therapists, the importance of compassionate supervision, and how to support new clinicians as they learn to work with difficult emotions.
From parenting to teaching, therapy and beginning again, this conversation explores how practising compassion ourselves can help us offer it to others—and take meaningful steps while uncertainty is still there.
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Introducing Courtney
01:14 Discovering Compassion Focused Therapy
01:43 Self-Compassion and Parental Burnout Research
05:00 What Is Reflective Functioning?
09:29 Bringing CFT into the Therapy Room
11:02 Learning Through CFT Case Consultations
14:08 “Who Am I to Teach This?”
15:58 Understanding Imposter Feelings Through CFT
21:37 Self-Esteem, Self-Compassion and Comparison
28:46 Developing a Compassionate Other
34:01 Supporting New Therapists Through Self-Doubt
39:06 Finding Courage to Try Things in Therapy
43:14 Living and Practising the Three Circles
47:43 Bringing CFT to Baltimore and Beyond
48:52 Closing Reflections and Thanks
Links:
For more about Courtney, go to her website:
https://www.bepsychotherapy.com/courtneykatzenberg
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/nBslk_93gFY
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
compassion focused therapy, imposter syndrome, self-compassion, parental burnout, clinician shame, compassionate supervision
From Shame to Purpose: Compassion, Grace and Recovery | Dani Sumner
How do we begin to meet our past with compassion—and find purpose in what we’ve lived through?In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, Dr Stan Steindl welcomes Dani Sumner, life transformation coach …
Notes de l’épisode
How do we begin to meet our past with compassion—and find purpose in what we’ve lived through?
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, Dr Stan Steindl welcomes Dani Sumner, life transformation coach, spiritual director, and host of A Holy Mess.
Drawing on her personal story of recovery, Dani explores shame, self-criticism, and the voices she calls the “shitty committee.” Together, we discuss how suffering can become a source of wisdom, how helping others can support our own healing, and the role of Christian faith and grace in her journey.
Throughout the conversation, we return to three flows of compassion: receiving care from others, offering compassion to ourselves, and extending it to those around us.
An honest conversation about making peace with our stories and opening ourselves to connection, hope, and purpose.
Find out more about Dani and A Holy Mess: https://www.danisumner.com
If this conversation resonates with you, please like and subscribe for more conversations about compassion and being human.
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
01:16 Dani Sobriety Turning Point
03:46 Compassion as Lifeline
05:35 Drinking Was Not the Issue
07:12 Naming Shame and Roots
09:08 From Victimhood to Growth
13:26 Healing Shame in Community
16:35 Meet the Shitty Committee
19:46 Curiosity Over Fighting Critic
21:20 Learning Self Compassion
23:04 Hurt People Heal
23:37 Jesus And Compassion
26:11 Three Flows Framework
27:47 Spotting Real Compassion
29:02 Loving Kindness Changes
34:41 Suffering Into Service
37:23 Self Compassion Not Selfish
39:11 Shame Needs Community
42:07 First Steps Out Of Shame
44:49 Closing Thanks And Links
Links:
Find Dani Sumner at her website:
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/mimdyGkvr5M
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
Compassion, SelfCompassion, Shame, Recovery, FindingPurpose, AHolyMess
How Self-Compassion Can Release the Grip of Shame | Chris Germer
What if beneath the feeling “I’m not good enough” is an innocent wish to be loved?In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I welcome back Dr Chris Germer, co-developer of Mindful Self-Compassion with Dr …
Notes de l’épisode
What if beneath the feeling “I’m not good enough” is an innocent wish to be loved?
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I welcome back Dr Chris Germer, co-developer of Mindful Self-Compassion with Dr Kristin Neff, to explore his new book, Self-Compassion for Shame: A Step-by-Step Guide to Inner Freedom.
Chris shares personal experiences that deepened his understanding of shame, from public speaking anxiety to discovering an early feeling of not being welcome in the world. Together, we explore how shame hides within self-criticism, anxiety, and our efforts to earn acceptance—and how recognising the human wish beneath it can change our relationship with ourselves.
We discuss practical ways to recognise your own “signature signs” of shame, find a foothold for compassion when you feel overwhelmed, and work at a manageable pace. Chris also explains why self-compassion can mean listening to music, spending time with friends, or getting some rest, alongside meditation and other inner practices.
We explore tender and fierce self-compassion, responding to internalised criticism, and five steps towards self-forgiveness that include taking responsibility and repairing harm.
At the heart of our conversation is a hopeful possibility: we can remain imperfect and vulnerable while learning to meet ourselves with compassion and loosen shame’s grip.
If this conversation resonates with you, please consider liking the video and subscribing for more conversations about the science and practice of compassion.
Timestamps:
00:00 Meet Chris Germer
02:34 Shame Journey Origins
05:27 Workshops Reveal Shame
09:20 Spotting Shame Signs
15:40 Innocent Wish Loved
24:48 Conference Shame Example
28:24 Finding Compassion Foothold
31:11 Why Shame Transforms
32:46 Finding a Safe Pace
33:02 Backdraft and Titration
35:26 Lean In Lean Back
36:57 Behavioral Self Compassion
38:48 Living Compassionately Daily
40:11 Roots of Internalized Shame
43:44 Tender and Fierce Compassion
48:43 Five Steps Self Forgiveness
56:49 Freedom From Shame Grip
01:02:09 Two Paradoxes of Practice
01:03:14 Closing Thanks and Links
Links:
Find Chris Germer at his website:
By Chris’s new book, Self-Compassion for Shame: A Step-by-Step Guide to Inner Freedom, at the publisher: https://www.guilford.com/books/Self-Compassion-for-Shame/Christopher-Germer/9781462557882
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/0uOqFXkiYBs
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
SelfCompassion, Shame, ChrisGermer, MindfulSelfCompassion, SelfForgiveness, CompassionInATShirt
Happiness at Work Is a Human Right | Daniela Jinés
What if happiness at work isn’t a perk, but something much more fundamental?In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with organisational happiness and wellbeing strategist Daniela Jinés about what it …
Notes de l’épisode
What if happiness at work isn’t a perk, but something much more fundamental?
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with organisational happiness and wellbeing strategist Daniela Jinés about what it really means to be happy at work — and why happiness, compassion and human performance may be much more closely connected than we realise.
Daniela shares her remarkable journey from law and human rights into humanitarian work and organisational happiness, including the personal health crisis that forced her to reconsider how she was working and leading. We explore happiness not simply as pleasure or positivity, but as something connected to self-awareness, purpose, relationships, safety and the way we treat ourselves and others.
We also explore the pressures built into modern working life — threat, drive, burnout and our relentless focus on productivity — and ask whether responsibility for wellbeing sits with individual workers or with the organisations around them. Daniela makes the provocative case for happiness at work as a human right, while also acknowledging how difficult systemic change can be.
Along the way, we discuss the hedonic treadmill, the neuroscience of happiness, compassionate leadership, Daniela’s HAND Model, self-compassion and the inner critic, and the small everyday actions that can help us create happier and more compassionate workplaces. Again and again, the conversation comes back to one deceptively simple starting point: self-awareness.
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome to Compassion in a T-Shirt
01:20 How did happiness become your life’s work?
05:25 What do we actually mean by happiness?
11:40 What role do self-awareness and self-empathy play?
15:20 What gets in the way of happiness at work?
18:15 Are our workplaces built around threat and drive?
27:40 Is burnout an individual or organisational problem?
30:40 Have we become too focused on productivity?
36:35 What is the HAND Model?
45:15 How can we make work happier and more compassionate?
Links:
Find Daniela Jinés at her website:
https://happyorganizations.org/
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/KIOQrynBTeY
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
Compassion, HappinessAtWork, WorkplaceWellbeing, SelfCompassion, OrganizationalHappiness, CompassionateLeadership
Chris Irons Discussing the "Third Arrow" of Shame
Why do painful experiences sometimes spiral into shame and harsh self-criticism?In this excerpt from my conversation with clinical psychologist Dr Chris Irons, we explore a powerful idea in Compassion Focused …
Notes de l’épisode
Why do painful experiences sometimes spiral into shame and harsh self-criticism?
In this excerpt from my conversation with clinical psychologist Dr Chris Irons, we explore a powerful idea in Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT): the Third Arrow. Building on the traditional Buddhist teaching of the Two Arrows, Chris explains how Paul Gilbert recognised an additional layer of suffering that many of us experience—shame and self-criticism about our pain.
Together we explore how shame can trap us in a "bubble" of threat, why reconnection often takes courage, the qualities of the compassionate self, the difference between internal and external shame, and how compassionate inquiry can help us respond to suffering with greater wisdom, strength and care.
This is one of my favourite moments from our full conversation and beautifully captures the heart of Compassion Focused Therapy.
If you enjoy this excerpt, be sure to watch the complete interview with Chris Irons on the channel.
And I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Which idea resonated most with you?
Timestamps:
00:00 The Third Arrow
00:18 The Buddhist Two Arrows
01:08 Paul Gilbert's Third Arrow
01:45 Shame, Self-Criticism and the Bubble
02:40 Why CFT Attends to All Three Arrows
03:40 Reconnection Takes Courage
04:45 The Compassionate Self
05:50 Who's Walking the Dog?
06:50 Internal and External Shame
07:55 Compassionate Inquiry
Links:
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/WaRylOh4nFY
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
compassionfocusedtherapy, compassion, selfcriticism, shame, paulgilbert, chrisirons
How Self-Compassion Can Change Your Life | Clarissa Rayward
I think this interview speaks to anyone who has ever wondered whether success has come at too great a cost.After building a successful legal career, Clarissa Rayward reached a point where she dreaded driving to …
Notes de l’épisode
I think this interview speaks to anyone who has ever wondered whether success has come at too great a cost.
After building a successful legal career, Clarissa Rayward reached a point where she dreaded driving to work. Rather than walking away from the profession she loved, she chose a different path—one that led her to rethink success, embrace self-compassion, and ultimately create Happy Lawyer Happy Life.
In this conversation, Clarissa shares the deeply personal story behind that turning point, the lessons she learned from burnout and grief, and how those experiences transformed the way she practises family law, leads her team, and lives her life. Together, we explore self-compassion, perfectionism, courage, receiving help, redefining success, and why genuine wellbeing isn't about lowering our standards but creating a life that's sustainable.
We also dive into some fascinating questions about compassion in the legal profession. Can compassion exist within an adversarial system? What happens when we shift from asking, "Who's right?" to "What really matters?" Clarissa explains how collaborative practice, curiosity and deep listening are changing the way she helps families navigate separation and conflict.
Towards the end of our conversation, we also explore the rise of artificial intelligence and why, despite extraordinary technological change, genuinely listening to another person may become even more valuable. It was particularly meaningful when Clarissa reflected on what it felt like to simply be listened to—a timely reminder that compassion often begins not with advice, but with understanding.
Whether you're a lawyer, psychologist, healthcare professional, leader, parent, or simply someone trying to build a meaningful life, I think you'll find something valuable in Clarissa's wisdom.
If you enjoy conversations exploring compassion, wellbeing and human flourishing, I'd love you to subscribe to the channel and join us for future interviews and video essays.
Connect with Clarissa Rayward
Happy Lawyer Happy Life
https://www.happylawyerhappylife.com/
Podcast
https://open.spotify.com/show/6Swqki7ooLQ8fDV1AlhXsY
Book
https://www.happylawyerhappylife.com/thebook/
Brisbane Family Law Centre
Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
02:05 The burnout that changed everything
08:30 Early warning signs and perfectionism
13:20 Self-compassion and asking for help
20:00 Redefining success
27:45 The three flows of compassion
34:15 Compassion in family law
41:30 Changing the legal profession
44:45 AI, listening and staying human
47:30 What really matters in life
50:10 Closing reflections
23:47 Final Takeaways
Links:
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/MLwwJ-NYfYo
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
compassion, selfcompassion, burnout, wellbeing, happiness, familylaw
Reflective Listening: The Magic Mirror of Compassionate Listening
What if the most powerful listening skill isn't asking better questions—but making better reflections?In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, Dr. Stan Steindl explores one of the core skills of …
Notes de l’épisode
What if the most powerful listening skill isn't asking better questions—but making better reflections?
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, Dr. Stan Steindl explores one of the core skills of compassionate communication: reflective listening. Drawing on Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), Motivational Interviewing (MI), and the work of Carl Rogers, you'll learn how reflections help people feel understood, organise their thoughts, discover deeper meaning, and often arrive at their own insights.
Using the metaphor of an ordinary mirror versus a magic mirror, this episode explains why reflections are far more than repeating someone's words. They become a compassionate way of helping people understand themselves.
Whether you're a therapist, coach, healthcare professional, leader, teacher, parent, partner, or simply someone who wants to become a better listener, these practical skills can transform your conversations.
If this video was helpful, I'd love for you to like, subscribe, and share it with someone who values meaningful conversations. Small changes in the way we listen can make an enormous difference to the people around us.
Timestamps:
00:00 Surface vs Deep Talk
01:06 Questions vs Reflections
02:46 What Is a Reflection?
04:38 Simple Reflections
06:07 Complex Reflection Magic
08:03 Reflecting Feelings
11:38 Reflecting Meaning
14:33 Choosing What to Reflect
16:22 Special Reflection Types
19:50 Drop the Reflection Stems
21:05 Putting It All Together
22:27 Compassion in Action
23:47 Final Takeaways
Links:
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/2et5eQKwBnA
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
reflectivelistening, compassionfocusedtherapy, compassion, motivationinterviewing, communicationskills, activelistening
Better Listening Starts With Better Questions
Most of us think good listening means staying quiet. But great listeners do something else as well—they ask better questions.When someone is struggling, it's natural to want to offer advice, share our own …
Notes de l’épisode
Most of us think good listening means staying quiet. But great listeners do something else as well—they ask better questions.
When someone is struggling, it's natural to want to offer advice, share our own experience, or tell them what we think they should do. But what if, instead of giving another answer, we asked another question?
In this episode, I explore one of the most powerful listening skills I know: Ask, Don't Tell. Drawing on compassion, motivational interviewing, and over 25 years of clinical psychology, I'll show you how turning advice into thoughtful questions can help people discover their own wisdom, strengthen relationships, and create deeper, more meaningful conversations.
You'll also learn a practical framework of eight different question types—from opening and exploring questions through to strength, possibility and commitment questions—that you can start using immediately in everyday life, whether you're a parent, partner, friend, leader, coach, therapist or simply someone who wants to listen more compassionately.
If you've ever wondered how to become a better listener, it might start with asking better questions.
Timestamps:
00:00 A childhood question I never forgot
00:50 Why good questions matter so much
01:30 Ask, don't tell: a simple listening shift
02:28 Turning advice into thoughtful questions
03:22 The motivational interviewing mindset
04:19 Open versus closed questions
05:34 Eight question types for better listening
05:52 Opening, exploring and clarifying questions
06:47 Perspective and balancing questions
07:27 Strength, possibility and commitment questions
08:51 Avoiding advice disguised as questions
09:36 The quiet power of curiosity
Links:
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/pCJN49ez_Mw
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
listening, listeningskills, communicationskills, motivationalinterviewing, compassion, psychology
Listening Without Fixing: Why Advice Often Backfires
The more I tried to help, the less effective I sometimes became.It sounds backwards, but years ago I discovered that the harder I pushed with advice, solutions, or persuasion, the more resistance I often …
Notes de l’épisode
The more I tried to help, the less effective I sometimes became.
It sounds backwards, but years ago I discovered that the harder I pushed with advice, solutions, or persuasion, the more resistance I often encountered. That experience led me to one of the most important lessons I've learned as a psychologist: sometimes the most compassionate thing we can do is stop trying to fix and start trying to understand.
In this episode, I explore why our urge to fix is usually well-intentioned, but can sometimes get in the way of genuinely helping. Drawing on Compassion Focused Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, and three fascinating psychological theories—Self-Perception Theory, Psychological Reactance, and Self-Determination Theory—we look at why people are often more likely to discover their own answers than adopt ours.
You'll also learn practical ways to become a more compassionate listener by replacing advice with curiosity, reflection, and thoughtful questions that help others find their own way forward.
If you've ever found yourself wanting to solve someone else's problems (or wishing someone would simply listen to yours!) I hope this episode gives you a different way of thinking about what it means to help.
If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Have you ever experienced a conversation where being listened to was more helpful than receiving advice?
Timestamps:
00:00 Why Trying to Fix Fails
01:14 The Urge to Fix
02:57 Compassion Means Understanding
03:22 Why Advice Needs Understanding
04:07 How Talking Creates Clarity
05:15 Why We Resist Advice 07:21
Why Autonomy Drives Change
08:23 Listening Is Real Help
09:13 Three Ways to Listen Better
11:02 Listening as Compassion
12:08 A Simple Experiment This Week
12:54 Final Thoughts
Links:
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/UT29TU1-WQY
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
listening, compassion, compassionfocusedtherapy, motivationalinterviewing, psychology, communication
The Three Circles Model Put to the Test | Dylan Moloney-Gibb
Can we actually measure the Three Circles Model? And if we can, what does that tell us about what's happening in our brains, bodies, and emotions?For years, the Three Circles Model has been one of the central …
Notes de l’épisode
Can we actually measure the Three Circles Model? And if we can, what does that tell us about what's happening in our brains, bodies, and emotions?
For years, the Three Circles Model has been one of the central ideas in Compassion Focused Therapy, helping therapists and clients make sense of threat, drive, and soothing. But until recently, it had never really been tested scientifically.
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I'm joined by compassion researcher Dr Dylan Moloney-Gibb to discuss his groundbreaking research, recently published in Behaviour Research and Therapy. Together with colleagues Chase Sherwell, Sasha Lynn and James Kirby, Dylan explores whether the Three Circles Model reflects measurable changes in physiology, using heart rate variability (HRV) alongside the new digital Three Circles app.
We explore how the app works, why it may offer advantages over traditional questionnaires, and what happens to threat, drive and soothing when people move through rest, stress, recovery and compassion. We also discuss some surprising findings—including why the compassion exercise didn't produce the changes the researchers expected—and what this might mean for the future of Compassion Focused Therapy, emotion regulation research, and clinical practice.
Whether you're a therapist, researcher, student, or simply curious about compassion, neuroscience and emotion regulation, I think you'll find this a fascinating conversation.
Timestamps:
00:00 Meet Dr Dylan Moloney-Gibb
02:16 The Three Circles app
02:34 Understanding threat, drive and soothing
07:59 Why this research matters
11:21 Measuring circle dominance
14:03 Is the soothing system more than calmness?
16:45 The Triple R study design (Rest, Reactivity, Recovery)
20:30 The compassion exercise
23:04 What happened to the Three Circles?
28:53 Comparing the circles with heart rate variability (HRV)
31:34 Why balance between the circles matters
38:31 Future directions for research
42:19 What this means for therapists and the future of CFT
Links:
The Three Circle Model of Compassion Focused Therapy: An Experimental Paradigm to Assess Dynamic Psychophysiological Changes of Emotion Regulation Systems (Moloney-Gibb, Sherwell, Lynn & Kirby, 2026). Open Access at https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2026.105028
Find links to Dylan’s other papers here: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Dylan-Moloney-Gibb
Find the Three Circles App here: https://www.threecircles.io/
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
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Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/ZklIRyBzpkY
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
CompassionFocusedTherapy, ThreeCirclesModel, EmotionRegulation, SelfCompassion, HeartRateVariability, HRV, Neuroscience, ClinicalPsychology, Psychotherapy, CompassionScience, MentalHealth, Psychology, PaulGilbert, DylanMoloneyGibb, StanSteindl
How to Listen Better: 7 Skills of Compassionate Listening
Most of us think listening is easy. But if we're honest, we often listen with the intention to reply, advise, fix, persuade, or tell our own story.In this follow-up to my recent episode on listening as …
Notes de l’épisode
Most of us think listening is easy. But if we're honest, we often listen with the intention to reply, advise, fix, persuade, or tell our own story.
In this follow-up to my recent episode on listening as compassion, I explore what compassionate listening actually looks like in practice. Drawing on ideas from compassion-focused therapy, motivational interviewing, and the work of Carl Rogers, I share seven simple skills that can help us become better listeners in our everyday lives.
These aren't just communication techniques. They are ways of creating the kind of safety and understanding that help people feel heard, valued, and less alone.
In this video, you'll learn:
. Why "No Fixin'" is often the best place to start
. How to "Ask, Don't Tell”
. Why reflection is one of the most powerful listening skills
. How to listen for feelings and deeper meaning
. Why silence is often where the real conversation begins
. What it means to put your agenda down
. Why understanding someone doesn't require agreeing with them
Whether you're a therapist, coach, leader, teacher, parent, partner, or friend, these skills can help you have more compassionate and meaningful conversations.
As Carl Rogers famously said: "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Perhaps something similar is true in our conversations. When people feel accepted and understood, they often find their own way forward.
I'd love to hear from you in the comments. Which of these listening skills comes most naturally to you? And which one do you find most challenging?
Timestamps:
00:00 Why Listening Is Compassion
00:50 Threat vs Curiosity
01:14 Tip 1 No Fixing
02:13 Tip 2 Ask Dont Tell
04:02 Tip 3 If In Doubt Reflect
05:08 Tip 4 Feelings and Meaning
07:20 Tip 5 Make Friends With Silence
08:16 Tip 6 Put Your Agenda Down
09:10 Tip 7 Understand Without Agreeing
10:15 Key Takeaways and Closing
Links:
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
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Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/oWHmGIjn4FA
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
compassionatelistening, compassion, selfcompassion, empathy, psychology, communicationskills
Why Listening Is the Most Powerful Act of Compassion
After the unexpected death of a dear friend, I found myself doing what many of us do when faced with grief. I tried to stay strong. I tried to carry on. But it wasn't until I sat around a campfire with …
Notes de l’épisode
After the unexpected death of a dear friend, I found myself doing what many of us do when faced with grief. I tried to stay strong. I tried to carry on. But it wasn't until I sat around a campfire with friends—sharing memories, expressing sadness, and listening to one another—that something began to shift.
That experience got me thinking about listening.
In a world increasingly shaped by social media algorithms, advertising, political polarisation, and the constant pressure to broadcast our opinions, genuine listening can feel surprisingly rare. Yet being heard remains one of the most powerful human experiences we can offer one another.
In this episode, I explore listening as an act of compassion. We journey from ancient oral traditions and Indigenous storytelling, through Socrates, Confucius, Carl Rogers, and motivational interviewing, to consider why listening helps reduce defensiveness, soften threat, create connection, and transform isolation into belonging.
Listening doesn't necessarily remove suffering. A grieving friend still grieves. A difficult situation may remain difficult. But when people feel heard, something important happens. We feel less alone. We feel understood. And sometimes, that's where healing begins.
Timestamps:
00:00 Grief and the urge to hide
00:39 Healing through being heard
01:39 Listening as the core skill
02:07 A world that rewards noise
03:08 Listening across history
05:20 From waiting to real listening
05:56 Carl Rogers and empathy
07:20 Compassion begins with listening
08:19 How being heard changes us
09:57 Listening as a bridge in conflict
11:00 Motivational interviewing basics
11:40 What compassionate listening sounds like
12:35 Why listening matters now
13:28 The gift of listening
Links:
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
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Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/5dQZymv8lp8
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
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Teacher Burnout, Stress Contagion & Self-Compassion | Dr Rita Princi-Hubbard
Teacher burnout doesn't just affect teachers—it affects students too.In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, Dr Stan Steindl speaks with Clinical Psychologist, educator, researcher, and founder of the …
Notes de l’épisode
Teacher burnout doesn't just affect teachers—it affects students too.
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, Dr Stan Steindl speaks with Clinical Psychologist, educator, researcher, and founder of the Institute for Neuroscience and Education, Dr Rita Princi-Hubbard, about compassionate pedagogy, teacher wellbeing, and the fascinating ways stress and emotional regulation can flow between teachers and students.
Drawing on her PhD research and her chapter, Teaching the New Teacher with Compassionate Pedagogy, Rita explains why many teachers enter the profession without sufficient training in child development, emotional regulation, trauma, attachment, and self-compassion. She argues that understanding how people work—not just how students learn—is one of the missing pieces in modern teacher education.
The conversation explores the concept of "stress contagion" and the bidirectional relationship between teacher and student wellbeing. Rita shares research showing how teacher stress can influence students, how student distress can affect teachers, and why self-compassion may be one of the most important tools for preventing burnout and creating emotionally safe learning environments.
Stan and Rita discuss:
• Teacher burnout and the growing pressures facing educators
• Stress contagion and emotional co-regulation in the classroom
• Why teacher wellbeing matters for student wellbeing
• Compassion Focused Therapy and the Three Systems Model
• Attachment, trauma, and child development in education
• The limits of rewards-and-consequences behaviour management
• Self-compassion and receiving support as an educator
• Heart rate variability research conducted in real classrooms
• Compassionate pedagogy and social justice
• What teacher education programs may be missing
Whether you're a teacher, school leader, psychologist, parent, student, or simply interested in compassion and education, this conversation offers a compelling vision for how understanding, connection, and compassion can help both teachers and students flourish.
Timestamps:
00:00 Compassion Meets Education
02:11 Why Teacher Training Falls Short
03:10 Stress Contagion Explained
04:59 Modern Teacher Stressors
10:19 Teacher Shame and Self-Doubt
12:03 Inside the Research Design
15:32 The Eight Module Program
19:51 Self-Compassion for Teachers
25:39 Receiving Help Without Guilt
27:46 Three Systems Model in Classrooms
33:18 Beyond Rewards and Consequences
37:47 Heart Rate Variability Findings
43:14 Compassion and Social Justice
44:47 Redesigning Teacher Education
47:26 Advice for Burnout Beginners
49:43 Closing Reflections and Thanks
If you enjoyed this conversation, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who cares about education, wellbeing, and compassion.
Links:
Rita Princi-Hubbard’s website:
https://www.in-ed.com.au/copy-of-consulting
Compassionate Pedagogy in Higher Education: International Perspectives
https://www.amazon.com.au/Compassionate-Pedagogy-Higher-Education-International/dp/1911451448/
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
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YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/D_H0t8YvqMw
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
teacherwellbeing, teacherburnout, compassionatepedagogy, selfcompassion, education, compassionfocusedtherapy
Therapist Burnout & the Fixer Mindset | Tania Kalkidis
What if therapist burnout isn’t a personal failure, but a consequence of how we train psychologists to relate to themselves?In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with clinical psychologist and …
Notes de l’épisode
What if therapist burnout isn’t a personal failure, but a consequence of how we train psychologists to relate to themselves?
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Tania Kalkidis about therapist burnout, the pressure to “fix” clients, and how modern mental health systems can unintentionally reinforce shame, perfectionism, emotional disconnection, and exhaustion in clinicians themselves.
Drawing on psychodynamic psychotherapy, relational therapy, attachment theory, neuroscience, and supervision practice, Tania explores why unconscious processes, defenses, and countertransference are central to effective therapy — not optional extras. We discuss how ignoring the therapist’s own internal experience can lead to resistance, misattunement, self-criticism, discouragement, and burnout for both therapist and client.
One of the things I found especially powerful in this conversation was Tania’s emphasis on the hidden shame many therapists carry around not knowing, struggling, or needing support themselves. We talk about emotional safety in supervision, why negative supervisory experiences can become deeply wounding, and how reflective practice and self-awareness are essential for sustainable therapeutic work.
Along the way, we explore attachment, epigenetics, implicit memory, social mentalities, emotional safety, and the relational dynamics unfolding moment to moment inside the therapy room. Tania also introduces her “Parallel Realities” model, designed to help clinicians normalise their inner experiences, reduce harsh self-criticism, and reconnect with confidence, curiosity, compassion, and meaning in their work.
If you’re a psychologist, therapist, counsellor, supervisor, or mental health practitioner interested in psychodynamic psychotherapy, Compassion Focused Therapy, therapist burnout, attachment theory, unconscious processes, supervision, and the deeper emotional realities of therapeutic work, I think you’ll find a lot in this conversation.
Tania also shares details of her free webinar on using Socratic questioning to help therapists move beyond exhaustion and the fixer mindset.
Timestamps:
00:00 Therapist Burnout And The Fixer Trap
02:09 Why Therapists Become Fixers
03:56 System Pressures And Training Gaps
09:48 Resistance, Pressure, And Client Impact
14:54 Modern Psychodynamic Therapy Explained
18:23 The Unconscious And Implicit Memory
22:15 Attachment, Neuroscience, And Epigenetics
26:51 Why The Therapist’s Inner World Matters
32:51 The Parallel Realities Model
42:14 Emotional Safety In Supervision
44:55 Burnout Prevention And Self Reflection
49:24 Encouragement For Exhausted Therapists
51:52 Webinar And Closing
Links:
Tania Kalkidis’s website:
https://deepmindpt.com/
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/ZlfSyMLkHMM
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
psychology, psychodynamictherapy, therapistburnout, compassionfocusedtherapy, psychotherapy, attachmenttheory
Should Therapists be More Human? | Glenn Roberts
How personal should therapists be?Should helping professionals maintain emotional distance — or is genuine human connection part of what makes therapy healing?In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak …
Notes de l’épisode
How personal should therapists be?
Should helping professionals maintain emotional distance — or is genuine human connection part of what makes therapy healing?
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with consultant psychiatrist, writer, and editor Dr Glenn Roberts about one of the most important questions in therapy, psychiatry, and helping work: how much of ourselves should we bring into the room?
Beginning with Carl Jung’s powerful idea of the wounded healer — “The doctor is effective only when he himself is affected” — we explore what it really means for clinicians to be touched by the suffering of others without becoming overwhelmed.
Glenn offers a rich and compassionate perspective on the bridge between the personal and the professional. We discuss vulnerability, emotional openness, supervision, personal therapy, professional culture, and the difference between healthy boundaries and emotional barriers.
This conversation also touches on the depersonalising effects of modern healthcare systems, the unintended costs of highly competitive training cultures, and why warmth, kindness, and compassion may be among the most therapeutic qualities a clinician can bring.
We also venture into the emerging world of AI therapy, asking whether something fundamentally human is lost when care becomes entirely impersonal.
One especially moving part of the conversation is Glenn’s reflection on the late Mike Shooter — former President of the Royal College of Psychiatrists — whose openness about his own depression became a important source of hope during Glenn’s own difficult period, and helped inspire the creation of his remarkable book, Personally Speaking.
If you’re a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, doctor, coach, helping professional — or simply interested in compassion, human connection, and what makes healing possible — I think you’ll find a lot in this conversation.
In this episode, we explore:
• Carl Jung’s wounded healer and what it means in real clinical work
• Why being “affected” may be essential to therapeutic effectiveness
• Vulnerability, authenticity, and emotional presence in therapy
• Professional boundaries vs emotional disconnection
• The hidden costs of competitive training cultures
• Supervision, personal therapy, and practitioner self-development
• Recovery-oriented care and learning from lived experience
• Why patients often value kindness more than technical expertise
• AI therapy and whether human connection can be simulated
• Building warmer, more compassionate teams and services
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and the big question
00:42 Meet Dr Glenn Roberts and Personally Speaking
02:51 Carl Jung and the wounded healer
06:51 What does it mean to be “affected”?
10:45 Training, vulnerability, and professional culture
19:56 Supervision and personal therapy
23:09 Boundaries without barriers
26:10 AI therapy and the missing human element
29:36 Recovery, lived experience, and service-user wisdom
36:02 Warmth, compassion, and cultivating better teams
42:53 Mike Shooter and a powerful personal story
49:40 Practical reflections for clinicians
If this conversation resonates, please like, subscribe, and share — it helps more people discover these important conversations.
Links:
Find Dr Roberts’s book Personally Speaking here:
https://personally-speaking.com/
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/r7nM12grS-E
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
compassion, psychotherapy, psychology, psychiatry, mentalhealth, woundedhealer
Compassion Is More Than Just Soothing
What if the opposite of threat isn’t relaxation… but safeness?In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, Dr Stan Steindl explores a powerful and often misunderstood idea from Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) …
Notes de l’épisode
What if the opposite of threat isn’t relaxation… but safeness?
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, Dr Stan Steindl explores a powerful and often misunderstood idea from Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT): the soothing-affiliative system.
Many people think compassion is simply about calming down, relaxing, or “down-regulating” stress. But drawing on Professor Paul Gilbert’s recent writing, Stan argues that compassion is far more alive, relational, and energising than that.
Affiliative relationships don’t just soothe our threat system — they can also activate dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphin systems linked to openness, social connection, exploration, play, and vitality.
Using the three systems model in Compassion Focused Therapy (threat, drive, and soothing), Stan explores why the opposite of threat may not be relaxation at all — but safeness. And safeness is not merely the absence of danger. It’s the presence of connection.
Along the way, Stan reflects on insights from John Bowlby’s attachment theory, Paul Gilbert’s biopsychosocial model, and conversations from Compassion in a T-Shirt with Elaine Beaumont, Chris Irons, and Charlie Heriot-Maitland.
This episode explores:
. Compassion Focused Therapy explained simply
. The three emotion regulation systems
. Why compassion is not just soothing
. The difference between relaxation and safeness
. Attachment, secure base, and emotional connection
. Why compassion can feel difficult or threatening
. How compassion helps us change our relationship with difficult emotions
. Compassion as courage, connection, and flourishing
If you’ve ever found compassion practices unexpectedly difficult—or if you’ve wondered why connection can feel both comforting and vulnerable—this episode is for you.
If you enjoy these conversations, please subscribe, leave a comment, or share this video with someone who might find it helpful.
Timestamps
00:00 Safeness Feels Alive
01:23 The Three Systems Model
02:13 Affiliation Opens Us
04:23 Safeness, Not Relaxation
04:56 Secure Base to Explore
05:51 The Biopsychosocial Model
07:06 When Compassion Feels Hard
08:17 Learning Safeness Gradually
09:03 Compassion Reorganises Life
09:32 Closing and Subscribe
#CompassionFocusedTherapy #SelfCompassion #PaulGilbert #AttachmentTheory #MentalHealth #Psychology
Hope, Compassion & Motivational Interviewing | Denise Ernst
How do we find hope in the current global landscape?In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I sit down with psychologist and motivational interviewing trainer Denise Ernst for a thoughtful and deeply human …
Notes de l’épisode
How do we find hope in the current global landscape?
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I sit down with psychologist and motivational interviewing trainer Denise Ernst for a thoughtful and deeply human conversation about hope — what it is, where it comes from, and why it may be one of the most important yet under-discussed elements of motivational interviewing.
Denise describes hope not simply as optimism or positive thinking, but as a kind of living energy that exists alongside compassion, empathy, and love. We explore the idea that hope is not something we “install” into people, but something we help call forth — something already present, even beneath despair, trauma, or self-doubt.
Together we discuss deep listening, the fixing reflex, change talk and “hope talk,” the role of equanimity, and how motivational interviewing creates the conditions for hope to emerge through partnership, acceptance, compassion, and empowerment. Denise also reflects on the importance of practitioners staying connected to their own “wellspring” of hope through self-awareness, self-compassion, nature, meditation, yoga, and intentional practice.
This conversation moves beyond therapy techniques into something broader and more universal: how we remain connected to goodness, meaning, and possibility in difficult times.
[If you enjoyed this conversation, please consider subscribing to the channel, sharing the episode, or leaving a review on your podcast app — it really helps more people discover these conversations on compassion, psychology, and human wellbeing.]
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Introduction
01:53 What Is Hope?
05:34 Calling Forth What Is Already There
08:46 Trauma, Threat, and Dormant Hope
11:19 Discovering Your Own Wellspring of Hope
16:00 Hope as a Practice
20:39 MI Spirit, Presence, and Deep Listening
24:32 Listening for “Hope Talk”
30:29 The Fixing Reflex and Backfire
35:34 Equanimity and Holding Both Hope and Despair
36:10 Hope, Compassion, and the Prism Metaphor
42:00 Motivational Interviewing as Human Connection
45:41 Self-Compassion for Practitioners
47:59 Hope in Difficult Times
53:15 Final Reflections
Links:
Dr Denise Ernst’s website:
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/zHZ5Caru0aA
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
motivationalinterviewing, hope, compassion, selfcompassion, psychotherapy, mentalhealth
Self-Criticism, Shame & Compassion From the Inside | Chris Irons
What happens inside your mind when you wake up irritable frustrated…and then start criticising yourself for it?In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I sit down with clinical psychologist and Compassion …
Notes de l’épisode
What happens inside your mind when you wake up irritable frustrated…and then start criticising yourself for it?
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I sit down with clinical psychologist and Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) expert Dr Chris Irons for a reflective, inside-out conversation on shame, self-criticism, and how compassion actually shows up in real life.
We begin with a simple but, I suspect, relatable moment—waking up in a bad mood—and follow how threat system activation can cascade through the day, leading to frustration, disconnection, and a second layer of shame and self-criticism. Chris introduces the powerful “three arrows” metaphor (pain, defensive responses, and shame/self-criticism), and shares a vivid analogy of shame as “too much salt,” overpowering our emotional experience.
We explore how self-criticism, rumination, and worry can trap us in loops, why awareness can sometimes make things worse, and how cultivating compassionate wisdom, courage, and care can help us respond differently. Chris also shares insights into Compassionate Mind Training (CMT), including the “compassionate ladder,” fears, blocks, and resistances to compassion, and how practices can be tailored to individual differences such as attachment style, shame, and neurodiversity.
We also look ahead to emerging research in CFT, including ADHD, hormonal influences, and how technology and personalised approaches may shape the future of compassion-based interventions.
This is a more open, less structured, conversation about what it’s actually like to be with our minds, and how we might learn to meet ourselves with compassion. I hope you enjoy it!
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
01:27 Irritable Morning Story
03:36 Tricky Minds and Threat Loops
07:37 Self Criticism and Shame Spiral
12:29 The Three Arrows Explained
16:12 Reconnection Needs Courage
17:31 Compassion Qualities and Shame Types
22:32 Shame as Too Much Salt
26:13 Finding Compassion in the Dark
28:40 Practice Pathways and Compassion Ladder
30:37 Compassion Ladder Basics
31:14 Finding Your Best Starting Point
32:35 Researching Individual Differences
35:58 Neurodiversity and Tailoring CMT
36:55 When Compassion Triggers Threat
40:29 Fears Blocks and Physiology
42:04 ADHD Study and Menstrual Cycle
46:49 Assessment Guided Personalisation
52:04 Wearables and Daily Practice Choice
53:28 Context Triggers and Self Wisdom
59:47 What’s Next: Research and Access
01:03:18 Spreading CFT Beyond Therapy
01:04:15 Closing Thanks and Farewell
Links:
Dr Chris Irons’s website:
https://drchrisirons.com/
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/mfK3XBCWQWg
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
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How Self-Compassion Can Help After Online Sexual Harm | Eve da Silva
What happens when shame keeps someone silent?In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with clinical psychologist Dr Eve da Silva about the often hidden impact of online sexual harm — and how shame …
Notes de l’épisode
What happens when shame keeps someone silent?
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with clinical psychologist Dr Eve da Silva about the often hidden impact of online sexual harm — and how shame, self-criticism, and secrecy can leave young people feeling isolated and unable to seek help.
Eve shares how her clinical work in CBT began to uncover a pattern: clients presenting with anxiety or low mood were often carrying unspoken experiences such as non-consensual image sharing or distressing online sexual encounters. These experiences were rarely discussed — not because they weren’t important, but because they felt too shameful to name.
Drawing on Compassion Focused Therapy, Eve developed a 14-day online self-compassion programme, designed to gently support people in shifting from self-blame to self-understanding. We explore the practices involved — including soothing rhythm breathing, safe space imagery, compassionate writing, and compassionate self exercises — and why even brief interventions can make a meaningful difference.
We also discuss the complexity of navigating digital intimacy, the role of peer and cultural pressures, and how shame activates threat responses that block help-seeking. Eve shares findings from her study, where participants showed reduced self-criticism, lower distress, increased self-reassurance, and more openness to seeking help.
This is a thoughtful and important conversation about how compassion can help people begin to relate differently to themselves — especially in moments where they might feel most alone.
You can find Eve’s free resources here:
https://compassionhelps.com/resources
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Topic
01:33 Why This Research
06:51 Online Norms and Pressure
12:32 Shame and Silence
16:51 Designing the Program
23:18 Making It Human
26:38 Study Results and Outcomes
35:41 Supporting Youth Compassionately
42:02 Micro Anchors Explained
46:03 What’s Next and Wrap-Up
Links:
Find Eve da Silva on Instagram:
@drevedasilva
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
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Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/twLUB3Ma118
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Video hashtags:
compassion focused therapy, self compassion, shame, online harm, mental health, help seeking
Psychological Flexibility, Self-Criticism & Elite Performance | Toby Jenkins
What really drives elite performance — discipline, self-criticism, or something deeper? In this episode, I explore psychological flexibility, self-compassion, and high performance with Olympian Toby Jenkins.In …
Notes de l’épisode
What really drives elite performance — discipline, self-criticism, or something deeper? In this episode, I explore psychological flexibility, self-compassion, and high performance with Olympian Toby Jenkins.
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I sit down with Toby Jenkins — Olympian, entrepreneur, speaker, and coach — to explore leadership, high performance, and the inner world that shapes both.
Toby is also my cousin, so this was a really special conversation for me. He shares a deeply personal and powerful account of his Olympic journey, describing the yin–yang of high performance — the highs and lows, pride and disappointment, confidence and doubt, and even moments of shame.
We talk openly about self-criticism — how it can drive performance, but also how it can become harsh and unhelpful. Toby reflects on the intense pressure of elite sport, and how that inner voice shaped his experience along the way.
One of the most powerful moments in the conversation is a story from his early days at the Australian Institute of Sport, where a simple act of kindness — a teammate offering him an old team t-shirt — had a profound and lasting impact. It’s a beautiful example of compassion in action.
Toby also shares how discovering Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and the science of psychological flexibility transformed his understanding of mindset. Rather than trying to eliminate stress or control emotions, he now focuses on opening up to discomfort, being present, and taking values-based action.
In our conversation, we explore:
- The double-edged nature of self-criticism in high performance
- Why confidence can be unreliable — and competence is built through reps
- How athletes and leaders can respond differently to pressure, fear, and doubt
- The role of compassion and self-compassion in resilience and growth
- How psychological flexibility applies across sport, business, and everyday life
This is a really rich, practical, and deeply human conversation about what it means to perform, lead, and live well — even when things are tough.
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome And Guest Intro
01:46 Cousins Reunite On Air
02:39 Olympic Highs And Lows
07:20 AIS Grind And Self Doubt
09:00 Humiliated At Selection Camp
12:25 The T Shirt Kindness Moment
14:55 Pay It Forward Lessons
19:12 Compassion Defined In Practice
21:52 Reframing Coach With Compassion
27:30 Inner Critic And Pain As Fuel
30:02 When Self Criticism Helps Or Hurts
32:12 Constructive vs Shame Critic
33:22 Owning Pressure Out Loud
35:46 Acceptance Price of Entry
37:27 Finding ACT in Crisis
38:49 Work Identity Wake Up
44:23 Mindset Shift in Leaders
47:08 Confidence vs Competence Reps
53:58 Compassion Validation and Choice
59:17 Wholeness Yin Yang Wrap
01:00:36 Closing Thanks and Farewell
Links:
Toby Jenkin’s website:
Toby’s LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/tobyjenkins/
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/KczGMCNSorQ
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Hashtags:
compassion, selfcompassion, psychologicalflexibility, highperformance, leadership, mentalhealth
Why We Self-Sabotage (It’s Not What You Think) | Charlie Heriot-Maitland
Why do we self-sabotage, criticise ourselves, or even create chaos in our own lives — sometimes right when things matter most?In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I sit down with clinical psychologist Dr …
Notes de l’épisode
Why do we self-sabotage, criticise ourselves, or even create chaos in our own lives — sometimes right when things matter most?
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I sit down with clinical psychologist Dr Charlie Heriot-Maitland to explore his powerful new book Controlled Explosions in Mental Health. Together, we unpack a surprising and compassionate idea: that many of the things we struggle with — procrastination, self-criticism, pessimism, even self-harm — may actually be our brain’s way of protecting us from something it views as even more painful.
Charlie introduces the concept of “controlled explosions” — targeted, self-directed harms designed to prevent bigger feared threats like rejection, failure, humiliation, or retraumatisation. Drawing on evolutionary psychology and Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), we explore how understanding these patterns can reduce shame and help us relate to our minds in a more compassionate and effective way.
Along the way, Charlie and I reflect on our own experiences of writing and publishing books — and how self-sabotage can show up in surprisingly subtle ways, like procrastinating near the finish line or even holding back from promoting something we care deeply about. These moments bring the theory to life, showing how these “protective” processes can quietly shape our choices, often in ways we don’t immediately recognise.
We also dive into the idea of the “bomb squad” — different parts of the mind (like the procrastinator, pessimist, or inner critic) that step in to protect us — and why trying to simply “get rid” of these patterns often leads to more struggle. Instead, Charlie outlines a compassionate approach of noticing, understanding, and helping — turning towards the underlying fears rather than fighting the symptoms.
This is a thoughtful and deeply relatable conversation about why our minds work the way they do — and how compassion can help us work with our minds, rather than against them.
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
02:05 New Book Overview
02:46 Controlled Explosions Metaphor
06:46 Eureka Origin Story
08:56 Evolution and Deshaming
11:26 Bomb Squad Characters
13:46 Self Sabotage Unit
22:29 Self Criticism Unit
28:56 Whack a Mole and Root Causes
33:24 Parts Work and Personifying
36:48 Continuum and Common Humanity
41:03 Compassionate Practice Tools
48:16 Therapy Applications and Closing
Links:
Dr Charlie Heriot-Maitland’s website:
https://charlieheriotmaitland.com/
Relating to Voices Using CFT (Heriot-Maitland & Longden, 2022)
https://charlieheriotmaitland.com/books/relating-to-voices-using-compassion-focused-therapy/
Controlled Explosions in Mental Health (Heriot-Maitland, 2026)
https://charlieheriotmaitland.com/books/controlled-explosions-in-mental-health/
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: [link]
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Hashtags:
compassionfocusedtherapy, selfsabotage, selfcriticism, mentalhealth, psychologypodcast, compassion
Discovering Compassion in Therapy | Tiffany Luxford
What is it like to encounter Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) for the very first time — not in a textbook, but in a real clinical service, working with people whose threat systems are truly activated?In this …
Notes de l’épisode
What is it like to encounter Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) for the very first time — not in a textbook, but in a real clinical service, working with people whose threat systems are truly activated?
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I sit down with Tiffany Luxford, an undergraduate psychology student working at the Anxiety Disorders Residential Unit at the South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust. Tiff shares a fresh, thoughtful, and deeply human perspective on what it’s like to step into a compassionate clinical environment — and how that experience begins to shape the kind of clinician she hopes to become.
We explore how compassion shows up not just in therapy, but in team culture — creating safeness, reducing burnout, and supporting both staff and clients. Tiff offers insights into how CFT is used alongside CBT for conditions like OCD and body dysmorphic disorder, including working with shame, self-criticism, and fears of self-compassion.
What makes this conversation especially powerful is Tiff’s willingness to reflect on her own lived experience of recovery from an eating disorder and OCD — and how compassion might have changed that journey. She also shares reflections from her newly released TEDx talk, where she speaks about uncertainty, recovery, and the courage it takes to move toward change.
This is a conversation about beginnings — about learning compassion, living it, and slowly becoming it.
Watch Tiff’s TEDx talk:
What recovery taught me about fear | Tiffany Luxford | TEDxKingsCollegeLondon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlFHrSPw1kU
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
02:17 First Encounter With CFT
06:18 Team Compassion Culture
10:09 Formulating Anxiety in CFT
12:42 ERP With Self Compassion
16:23 Shame and Self Criticism
19:01 Small Shifts in Recovery
24:22 Lived Experience and Recovery
28:35 TEDx Talk and Uncertainty
32:29 Designing Compassionate Services
34:54 Advice for New Clinicians
37:27 Closing Thanks and Wrap Up
Links:
Watch Tiff’s TEDx talk:
What recovery taught me about fear | Tiffany Luxford | TEDxKingsCollegeLondon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlFHrSPw1kU
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
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Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/WIeC6JOdZKU
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Hashtags:
compassion focused therapy, self compassion, anxiety treatment, OCD recovery, early career psychologist, mental health education
How Compassion Really Works (And How to Train It) | Paul Condon
What if compassion isn’t just something we feel—but something we can train?In this conversation, I sit down with social psychologist Associate Professor Paul Condon to explore his new book How Compassion Works …
Notes de l’épisode
What if compassion isn’t just something we feel—but something we can train?
In this conversation, I sit down with social psychologist Associate Professor Paul Condon to explore his new book How Compassion Works (with John Makransky) and their evidence-based approach to Sustainable Compassion Training (SCT).
We dive into a powerful idea: that we already have an innate capacity for love, compassion, and wisdom—but life experiences, attachment patterns, and our tendency to get caught in thoughts can pull us away from it.
Paul shares a clear, practical framework for reconnecting with that capacity through three key modes of practice:
. Receptive mode – learning to take in care and reconnect with a “secure base”
. Deepening mode – shifting from reactive thinking to expansive awareness
. Inclusive mode – widening compassion beyond our usual limits
We also explore how to develop a “holding environment” for difficult emotions, the difference between love and compassion, and how this approach can help prevent burnout, empathic distress, and compassion fatigue.
If you’ve ever struggled to stay compassionate without feeling overwhelmed—or wondered how compassion actually develops—this is a deeply insightful and practical conversation.
Timestamps
00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
02:31 Innate Compassion Explained
05:59 Why We Lose Touch
13:20 Equanimity and Holding Space
17:56 Love vs Compassion
23:14 Sustainable Compassion Training
28:43 Receptive Mode Field of Care
33:09 When Care Feels Inaccessible
40:28 Deepening Mode Expansive Awareness
49:37 Inclusive Mode Widening the Circle
58:27 Avoiding Burnout and Distress
01:05:21 Motivation and Daily Practice
01:10:48 Closing Thoughts and Thanks
Links:
Dr Paul Condon’s website:
How Compassion Works (Makransky & Condon, 2025)
https://www.amazon.com.au/How-Compassion-Works-Step-Step/dp/164547173X/
Sustainable Compassion Training: Integrating Meditation Theory With Psychological Science (Condon & Makransky, 2020) Open Access article from Frontiers in Psychology.
https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.02249/full
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/8zBzKtw25ew
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Hashtags:
compassion training, mindfulness meditation, compassion fatigue, self compassion, psychology and wellbeing, burnout prevention
Student Burnout, Self-Criticism & Kindness | Elaine Beaumont
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I sit down with psychotherapist Dr Elaine Beaumont to explore the growing pressures facing young adults — especially university students — and how self-criticism …
Notes de l’épisode
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I sit down with psychotherapist Dr Elaine Beaumont to explore the growing pressures facing young adults — especially university students — and how self-criticism, shame, and burnout are shaping their mental health.
We discuss how social media, comparison, and constant connectivity are impacting young people’s inner worlds, and why kindness may be a powerful starting point for change. Elaine shares insights from her clinical work, her research on self-compassion and burnout, and her experience teaching students in the helping professions.
We also explore the difference between kindness and compassion, how Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) can help people work with self-criticism, and how practical tools like The Kindness Workbook and the Self-Compassion App are helping people build compassion in everyday life.
And toward the end, we meet Roy — a therapy dog bringing compassion to life in a very real and embodied way.
Key Topics:
. Self-criticism and shame in young adults
. Student burnout and mental health
. Social media and comparison
. Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)
. Kindness vs compassion
. Self-compassion app and research
. Animal-assisted therapy and wellbeing
If you’re interested in self-compassion, student wellbeing, burnout, or how to work with your inner critic, this conversation is for you.
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and guest intro
03:06 Young adults under pressure
06:53 Social media comparison trap
10:14 Role models and playfulness
14:36 Algorithms and world anxiety
18:44 Perfectionism and burnout
23:36 Self-compassion app insights
27:06 Kindness workbook and values
30:18 Kindness starts within
31:38 Kindness versus compassion
32:46 Inside the Kindness Workbook
33:31 Kindness Crusaders artwork
35:17 Korea recognition and reach
36:44 When kindness becomes compassion
38:56 Fear blocks to self-compassion
42:52 Self-compassion app results
47:12 Roy and therapy dog work
53:56 Dogs as compassionate friends
56:04 Final thanks and resources
Links:
Dr Elaine Beaumont’s website:
https://beaumontpsychotherapy.co.uk/
The Kindness Workbook (Beaumont & Welford, 2021)
The Compassionate Mind Workbook (Irons & Beaumont, 2017)
The Self-Compassion App
https://beaumontpsychotherapy.co.uk/self-compassion-app/
Evaluating the impact the Self-Compassion App has on levels of compassion, psychological distress and well-being (Beaumont et al., 2024)
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/capr.12841
A Qualitative Study Exploring the Impact the Self-Compassion App Has on Levels of Compassion, Self-Criticism, and Wellbeing (Beaumont et al., 2022)
https://www.lidsen.com/journals/icm/icm-07-03-045
Roy the Labrador
https://www.instagram.com/walkswithroy/
Social media age restrictions hub
https://www.esafety.gov.au/about-us/industry-regulation/social-media-age-restrictions-hub
Early wins for the social media ban, new survey claims. But the full picture is far more complicated (Sawyer & Lin, 2026)
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/nU9b-mfYKVg
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Hashtags:
selfcompassion, studentmentalhealth, compassionfocusedtherapy, burnoutrecovery, kindnessmatters, mentalhealthsupport
Meditation Progress & Pitfalls: What Really Happens Over Time | Dr Lillian Ward
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with Dr Lillian Ward from the Contemplative Studies Centre at the University of Melbourne about what “progress” in meditation really looks like beyond …
Notes de l’épisode
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with Dr Lillian Ward from the Contemplative Studies Centre at the University of Melbourne about what “progress” in meditation really looks like beyond beginner programs — including the positive changes people hope for and the genuine challenges that can arise along the way.
Meditation is often promoted for its benefits, such as improved wellbeing, emotional regulation, and greater self-awareness. But what actually happens as people continue meditating over months and years? How do experienced meditation teachers recognise when practice is going well — and when it might not be?
Lillian describes her Delphi study with experienced meditation teachers from both secular mindfulness programs (MBSR, MBCT, MiCBT) and Buddhist traditions including Theravada and Zen. Using a multi-round consultation process, the study draws on the expertise of teachers to better understand the many psychological, emotional, and relational changes that can emerge through meditation practice.
Teachers in the study identified 97 meaningful changes they use to assess how their students are progressing. These include positive developments such as greater emotional awareness, openness, and self-compassion, but also potential difficulties such as relationship strain, increased rumination, neglecting responsibilities, or experiences that can interfere with everyday functioning.
Lillian also explains a pathway model of meditation progress, where ongoing practice builds attentional skills and introspection. These can open the door to both growth and difficulty depending on how the experiences that arise are understood and responded to.
Towards the end of our conversation, Lillian introduces a major new research project called Tracking Meditation: A Longitudinal Study, which is currently recruiting meditation practitioners. This two-year study aims to follow newer meditators over time to better understand how meditation practice develops and how it affects wellbeing in everyday life.
If you’re interested in mindfulness, meditation research, contemplative science, or the psychology of meditation practice, I hope you enjoy the conversation.
Timestamps:
00:00 Meditation Journey Intro
02:16 Why Progress Matters
04:07 Delphi Study Explained
06:01 Study Design Breakdown
09:08 Key Changes Teachers See
12:09 Self-Compassion and Relationships
16:33 Pathways Model of Progress
22:32 Traditions and Measuring Change
26:13 When Practice Goes Wrong
30:53 Managing Adverse Experiences
36:02 Tracking Meditation Longitudinal Study
40:29 Recruiting and Closing Thanks
Links:
Tracking Meditation: A Longitudinal Study
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/X59owqIZBZo
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Hashtags:
mindfulness, meditation, contemplativescience, meditationresearch, selfcompassion, mentalhealth
Healthcare Burnout, Moral Injury & Self-Compassion | Caragh Behan & Brendan Kelly
Compassion in healthcare is more than a value statement — it is a clinical skill, a leadership stance, and a systemic responsibility. In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with psychiatrist Caragh …
Notes de l’épisode
Compassion in healthcare is more than a value statement — it is a clinical skill, a leadership stance, and a systemic responsibility. In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with psychiatrist Caragh Behan (Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland) and Professor Brendan Kelly (Trinity College Dublin) about burnout, moral injury, empathy fatigue, and how to make compassion real in modern evidence-based healthcare systems.
Together, Caragh and Brendan have written the Handbook of Compassion in Healthcare, a practical and research-informed guide that explores compassion from neuroscience to self-compassion, resilience, and compassionate leadership. The book is available to purchase in hard copy — and importantly, it is also available open access, reflecting their belief that compassion should be accessible to all.
In this conversation, we explore:
• The pressures of evidence-based medicine, service targets, and performance metrics
• A powerful pandemic-era story of a suicidal young man who felt unseen at his most vulnerable
• The quiet presence of fear in clinical work — fear of mistakes, complaints, and uncertainty
• Why compassion is best understood as awareness of suffering plus the motivation to act
• The crucial differences between empathy, sympathy, pity, and what they call “horrified anxiety”
• Why “compassion fatigue” may be more accurately described as empathy fatigue
• Moral injury and what happens when clinicians are forced to act against their core values
• Self-compassion as the foundation for sustainable, courageous care
• Practical strategies — pausing, grounding, touch, intention-setting, and deep listening
• How to build compassionate health systems, not just compassionate individuals
This conversation moves from the inner world of the clinician to the wider organisational and systemic context of healthcare. We discuss how compassion can be cultivated, trained, and protected — even in overstretched environments — and why always and everywhere, compassion matters.
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Guests
02:30 Why Compassion Now
03:04 System Pressures and Stories
06:40 Compassion Across Specialties
08:28 Fear and Clinical Uncertainty
11:03 Defining Compassion
11:50 Empathy Sympathy and Pity
15:01 Compassion Fatigue Reframed
18:28 Courage and Patient Autonomy
23:51 Can Compassion Be Taught
25:09 Book and Open Access
25:56 Moral Injury Explained
28:18 Self Compassion Basics
30:22 System Pressures vs Self Care
32:46 Two Strands of Change
37:04 Compassionate Intention
39:29 Can Compassion Be Trained
44:28 One Small Practice Tomorrow
49:00 Always Compassion Matters
51:45 Closing Thanks and Links
If you work in healthcare, mental health, leadership, or any caring profession — this episode will resonate deeply.
Links:
Handbook of Compassion in Healthcare (Behan and Kelly, 2025)
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/oo8AVwVSTk4
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
compassion in healthcare, healthcare burnout, moral injury, self compassion, compassionate leadership, empathy fatigue
Compassionate Leadership and Burnout Recovery at Work | Natalia Sarro
What if burnout isn’t a personal failure — but a cultural signal?In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with Natalia Sarro, an Argentinian psychologist based in Barcelona, Compassion Focused …
Notes de l’épisode
What if burnout isn’t a personal failure — but a cultural signal?
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with Natalia Sarro, an Argentinian psychologist based in Barcelona, Compassion Focused Therapy practitioner, and the first certified Spanish-speaking instructor with the Center for Compassionate Leadership.
Natalia shares how her own identity became deeply tied to performance — and how that journey led her to support leaders navigating burnout, chronic stress, perfectionism and self-criticism. Together, we explore workplaces as “emotional laboratories,” where belonging, worth and power are constantly being negotiated.
We discuss psychological safety and why high-performing teams are built not on fear, but on environments where people feel safe to speak up, disagree, admit mistakes and ask for help. Natalia explains the powerful distinction between leading with compassion and leading for compassion — shaping systems that reduce burnout and exclusion.
We also explore gender socialisation, fierce self-compassion, internalised self-criticism, and how women leaders can reclaim grounded authority and voice without losing warmth or strength.
Finally, Natalia introduces her idea of “cathedral thinking” — leadership as long-arc culture building that may outlast us.
This is a rich and reflective conversation about burnout, identity, leadership, and building compassionate workplaces that sustain people rather than exhaust them.
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
02:03 Natalia’s Work Journey
05:08 Identity Performance Burnout
05:59 Women Burnout and Bias
08:07 Vision for Compassionate Work
11:14 Psychological Safety Explained
14:21 Leading With and For
16:52 Spanish Cultural Translation
21:10 Compassion Misconceptions at Work
24:25 Fierce Self Compassion for Women
30:42 Gendered Double Standards
38:39 Vulnerability and Inner Critic
44:46 Self Compassion Shapes Culture
47:23 Cathedral Thinking Closing
47:51 Final Thanks and Farewell
Links:
Natalia’s website:
Natalia’s Instagram page:
https://www.instagram.com/nataliasarro/
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/v1i1pWcE9JM
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
compassionate leadership, workplace wellbeing, burnout recovery, psychological safety, self compassion, women in leadership
Menopause and Mental Health: How Self-Compassion Builds Resilience | Lydia Brown
Menopause is one of the most significant transitions in a woman’s life — and yet it’s often ignored, misunderstood, or reduced to stereotypes about hormones and hot flushes. But menopause is not just …
Notes de l’épisode
Menopause is one of the most significant transitions in a woman’s life — and yet it’s often ignored, misunderstood, or reduced to stereotypes about hormones and hot flushes. But menopause is not just biological. It’s psychological. It affects sleep, mood, identity, relationships, work, and wellbeing.
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with Dr Lydia Brown, Senior Lecturer in Psychological Sciences at the University of Melbourne and a leading researcher on self-compassion and menopause.
Dr Brown explains what menopause actually is (including perimenopause and timing), why research historically lagged, and how the Women’s Health Initiative reshaped conversations around hormone replacement therapy (HRT). We explore how menopause intersects with midlife pressures — caregiving, career demands, grief, identity shifts — and how self-compassion can act as a powerful buffer.
Drawing on data from over 500 Australian women, Lydia shares research showing that self-compassion can reduce the burden of hot flushes, protect against depression, support treatment adherence, and predict wellbeing — sometimes more strongly than symptom severity itself.
We also discuss:
• Why women often struggle with self-compassion
• The myth that self-compassion is selfish
• How menopause shows up in the workplace
• Brain fog and what the research really says
• Organisational policy (including menopause leave)
• Positive ageing and the “paradox of ageing”
• Practical tools — including the simple question: “What do I need right now?”
Whether you’re experiencing menopause, supporting someone who is, or simply interested in resilience and healthy ageing, this conversation offers grounded, evidence-based insight.
Timestamps:
00:00 Menopause Is More Than Hot Flushes: Why This Transition Matters
00:23 Meet Dr Lydia Brown + What We’ll Cover
02:01 Menopause 101: What It Is, Perimenopause, Timing & Symptom Range
04:55 Why the Science Lagged: Women Excluded, Complexity & Variability
06:21 HRT’s Rise, the WHI Shockwave, and Where the Evidence Sits Now
08:50 Beyond Hormones: Identity Shifts & Midlife Pressures
13:05 Why Self-Compassion? Lydia’s Personal Path
17:34 Blocks to Self-Compassion: Socialisation & Self-Criticism
24:15 Support Systems First: Doctors, Therapy & Community
27:03 Self-Compassion as a Buffer for Hot Flushes
29:38 Why Self-Compassion Predicts Wellbeing
33:32 Self-Compassion and CBT: Mechanisms Explained
37:55 Menopause at Work: Brain Fog & Career Impact
46:21 Positive Ageing & the Paradox of Growing Older
50:26 Practical Takeaways: “What Do I Need Right Now?”
55:20 Closing Reflections
Links:
For Dr Brown’s contact, research papers and media work, go to her website at The University of Melbourne:
https://findanexpert.unimelb.edu.au/profile/21045-lydia-brown
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/m4_AwOcXNLk
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
self-compassion, menopause support, perimenopause, healthy aging, women’s mental health, workplace wellbeing, resilience psychology, hormone therapy, midlife transition
Team Compassion at Work: Psychological Safety & Better Outcomes | Helena Nguyen
Have you ever worked in a team where something went wrong — and you could feel the difference between blame and support?In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, Dr Stan Steindl speaks with Professor Helena …
Notes de l’épisode
Have you ever worked in a team where something went wrong — and you could feel the difference between blame and support?
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, Dr Stan Steindl speaks with Professor Helena Nguyen about workplace compassion as a team- and organisation-level capability, not just an individual trait.
Interest in compassion at work has grown rapidly — driven by burnout, faster and leaner workplaces, the impact of COVID-19, and the rise of AI prompting questions about what remains uniquely human at work. Helena explains why focusing only on individual compassion can create blame and unsustainable expectations, especially in high-pressure environments like healthcare.
We explore:
. Why workload weakens the impact of compassionate care
. What team compassion actually looks like in day-to-day work
. How team mindfulness enables shared awareness and coordinated support
. The role of shared mental models (think “soccer team” sync under pressure)
. Why compassion improves psychological safety, speaking up, learning, and patient safety
. Research linking compassionate care to better treatment outcomes and even mortality rates
. The hidden cost of “just be compassionate” cultures — burnout and workforce loss
. Organisational barriers: mindset, culture, systems, incentives, and leadership
. Practical starting points: self-compassion, mindfulness, emotional intelligence, difficult conversations, and circles of control
. We also discuss the future of compassion research — moving beyond heroic individual narratives toward team compassion and compassionate organising, and normalising vulnerability, grief, and suffering in professional life.
. Compassion isn’t a “nice to have.” It’s a strategic necessity — good for people, teams, and performance.
This conversation draws on the recent special issue on compassion in organisations in the Australian Journal of Management. The link to the special issue is in the description below.
Timestamps
00:00 Compassion at Work: Why Teams Matter
01:58 Burnout, COVID & the New Work Reality
04:03 AI & the Future of Human Skills
07:21 The Risks of Blaming Individuals
10:23 Self-Compassion at Work
12:16 What Team Compassion Looks Like
15:24 Team Mindfulness & Shared Awareness
22:24 When Competition Kills Compassion
23:42 Compassion, Performance & Patient Safety
29:22 The Hidden Cost of “Just Be Compassionate”
32:46 Organisational Barriers to Compassion
38:02 Practical Starting Points
46:37 The Future: Team Compassion & Compassionate Organising
48:57 Vulnerability, Grief & Humanity at Work
Links:
For the Special Issue in the Australian Journal of Management got here:
For more about Professor Helena Nguyen go here:
https://profiles.sydney.edu.au/helena.nguyen
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/eyKJZewU2yw
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
workplace compassion, team compassion, psychological safety, compassionate leadership, patient safety, organisational culture
What Is Equanimity and Why It Matters Now | Margaret Cullen
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I’m joined by Margaret Cullen, a licensed psychotherapist and one of the true pioneers of bringing mindfulness and compassion into mainstream psychology, healthcare …
Notes de l’épisode
In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I’m joined by Margaret Cullen, a licensed psychotherapist and one of the true pioneers of bringing mindfulness and compassion into mainstream psychology, healthcare, and community settings.
Margaret was among the first teachers certified in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, has taught internationally for decades, and spent over 30 years supporting people living with cancer and their loved ones. She co-developed Compassion Cultivation Training at Stanford, founded Compassion Corps to bring compassion programs to underserved communities, and has helped shape how contemplative practices are taught across the world.
Our conversation centres on Margaret’s beautiful new book, Quiet Strength, which explores equanimity not as detachment, numbness, or emotional suppression, but as a steady, wise presence that allows us to stay open, engaged, and human — without being hijacked by reactivity.
We explore what equanimity really is (and what it isn’t), how it shows up in the body and nervous system, how it supports compassion without overwhelm or pity, and why “broken-hearted equanimity” may be one of the most important capacities for living in uncertain, polarised, and painful times.
This is a grounded, thoughtful conversation about calm strength, embodiment, and how we can meet life as it actually is.
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome to Compassion in a T-Shirt
00:13 Introducing Margaret Cullen and her work
01:04 What is equanimity? Introducing Quiet Strength
03:50 Common misunderstandings about equanimity
05:32 Equanimity, emotional balance, and recovery
09:32 Mindfulness and equanimity: how they overlap
22:21 Margaret’s early journey with MBSR
25:23 The body and nervous system in equanimity
28:27 Bottom-up equanimity and embodied practice
31:37 Interrupting rumination and hyperarousal
34:34 Fears, blocks, and resistance to equanimity
37:03 Equanimity in relationships and real life
40:01 Nonviolent resistance and quiet strength
45:51 Broken-hearted equanimity
47:44 Equanimity as a support for compassion
52:31 Clinical and therapeutic applications
54:06 Closing reflections
Links:
Margaret Cullen’s website with links to the book, training, and other resources
More on Quiet Strength from the publishers:
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/quiet-strength-margaret-cullen?variant=43897021300770
If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/
Say hi on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/
Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/
YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/ggNPCYd7awQ
*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
Video hashtags:
equanimity, compassion, mindfulness, emotionalresilience, contemplativepsychology, quietstrength
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