Haunted By Their Past?
Notes de l’épisode
Can't stop thinking about your partner's sexual past? Here's how to keep it from ruining your future.
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SUMMARY
You've met someone amazing and can see a future together, but thoughts of them with other people keep haunting you. Maybe you're dating, engaged or already married, and you're wondering if this will ever go away or just hang over your relationship forever.
I've been there. I saved my virginity for marriage, and my wife Crystalina didn't. For years I sat through her testimony, sometimes several times a day, as we spoke at schools and universities. In this video I'll walk you through the game plan that helped me work through it: 4 things NOT to do, 5 things you need to do, and one bonus tip that changed how I saw the whole situation.
In this video: When their past haunts you My story DON'T #1: Stuff it DON'T #2: Rub their nose in it DON'T #3: Infect your own wound DON'T #4: Get too specific with details DO #1: Pray: gratitude, healing, conversion DO #2: Live purely in your relationship DO #3: Talk about it (the right way) DO #4: Man up DO #5: Be patient with yourself Bonus tip: Her true "first time"
Key takeaways:
- Feeling hurt by their past doesn't make you insecure or unforgiving. It means you have a human heart.
- Look past the anger to what's underneath: disappointment, jealousy, insecurity.
- Know when it happened and with how many people. You don't need more detail than that.
- Forgiveness isn't forgetting. It's learning to remember the past differently.
- She can't give you her past, but she can give you her future.
Resources mentioned: ▶ Sister Miriam James – How to Heal a Broken Heart ▶ JP2 Healing Center / Dr. Bob Schuchts: https://jp2healingcenter.org ▶ Love and Responsibility by Pope St. John Paul II
💬 What has helped you work through a partner's past? Tell us in the comments. Your idea could help someone else.
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