I Just Turned 36 and Decided to Start Living Differently. Here's Everything That Changed | Not Alone

It's just me today. No guest, no questions. Just me and everything that's been sitting in my head since my birthday.

Here's the thing about turning 36. I thought I didn't want anything. No plans, no production, phone off, in my robe by 9pm. Then a small part of me panicked that maybe I was supposed to want more.

And then the day fell apart on its own, nothing went the way it was meant to, and it landed as exactly what I needed. Which caught me off guard, because a year ago I would have planned the whole thing down to the minute and called that self-care.

And that turned out to be the theme of the whole year, not just the day. I don't want every year of my life to be preparation for a better one that's always a little further up ahead.

So in this one I get into the rest of it. The work summit where I walked into a room full of people who knew more than me, and for the first time the what-am-I-doing-here voice just didn't show up.

The morning I realized I'd been checking an app to find out how I slept, when I was the one who slept.

The strange freedom of not totally knowing who I am right now, and being more okay with that than I expected to be.

And the three words I'm carrying into this year, which are very much not the ones I would have picked five years ago, back when my only word was more.

Nobody tells you that the thing that got you here isn't always the thing that gets you where you're going next. That's the part I'm still in.

This one's for the woman who did everything right and still feels like her real life is somewhere up ahead. You're not behind. You might just be allowed to enjoy the one you're already in.

If that's you, tell me in the comments. And subscribe if you want more of these. It's the thing that tells the algorithm to send more women like you my way.

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WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT

0:00 - Just me today, no guest
1:00 - What I thought I wanted for my birthday
2:30 - The day fell apart and became exactly what I needed
4:00 - Don't celebrate me, but also celebrate me
5:30 - Nobody can read your mind, not even a man in a chef costume
7:00 - I can buy my own flowers, I just don't want to
8:30 - Your partner needs the update
10:00 - The investing panel, and the room full of people who knew more
12:00 - The what-am-I-doing-here voice that finally went quiet
14:00 - Qualified and a beginner in the same room
15:30 - The opposite of a thought leader
17:30 - Less sure of myself, and happier for it
19:00 - The energy healer and the Oura ring
21:00 - When taking care of myself turned into grading myself
23:00 - My easygoing era was a performance
25:00 - No is a complete sentence
26:30 - The nails post, and what do you mean I have a choice
28:00 - Rosh Hashanah, and the word around the table
29:30 - The men said business, the women said play
31:00 - Taking the permission to play, and booking Paris
32:30 - The three words I'm carrying into this year
34:00 - The thing that got you here isn't what gets you there next
35:30 - You might just be allowed to enjoy the life you're in

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