The Terri Cole Show
- Épisodes
- 852
- Parution
- hebdomadaire
- Dernier épisode
- 15 Oct 2026
À propos du podcast
The Terri Cole Show is where psychology meets real life. Hosted by licensed psychotherapist and bestselling author (Boundary Boss, Too Much and Father Wound coming 11/17/26) Terri Cole, this podcast is for anyone who is ready to understand themselves more deeply, create healthier relationships, and stop repeating patterns that no longer serve them. With nearly three decades of clinical experience, Terri breaks down complex psychological concepts into practical tools you can actually use. From boundaries, high-functioning codependency, and people-pleasing to attachment, family-of-origin wounds, self-worth, anxiety, and relationship dynamics, each episode is designed to help you connect the dots between what you learned in the past and how you're living today. You'll hear solo episodes, listener Q&As, and conversations with leading experts in psychology, relationships, wellness, and personal growth. Because when you understand why you think, feel, and behave the way you do, you have the power to make a different choice. Tune in to The Terri Cole Show and start creating more freedom, healthier relationships, and a life that thrills and fulfills you.
Épisodes 852
872 Break Your Relationship Patterns with Sabrina Zohar
Why do we keep repeating the same relationship patterns, even when we know better? In this episode, bestselling author Sabrina Zohar joins me to unpack why we confuse chemistry with compatibility, how childhood …
Notes de l’épisode
Why do we keep repeating the same relationship patterns, even when we know better? In this episode, bestselling author Sabrina Zohar joins me to unpack why we confuse chemistry with compatibility, how childhood wounds shape our relationships, and what it really takes to break the cycle. Get the full show notes at terricole.com/872
858 The Art of Self-Soothing (396 Re-Run)
Let's say you have a rough interaction with someone, a disappointing outcome, or you get bad news–what do you do to help yourself feel better? Do you have a couple of drinks? Maybe smoke a little weed? Or eat a …
Notes de l’épisode
Let's say you have a rough interaction with someone, a disappointing outcome, or you get bad news–what do you do to help yourself feel better?
Do you have a couple of drinks? Maybe smoke a little weed? Or eat a tub of ice cream? No judgment here, but I want to invite you to think about it because many of us confuse self-numbing with self-soothing.
In this episode, you'll learn my favorite self-soothing tips, healthy ways to support your nervous system and emotional wellbeing, plus how to create your own self-soothing and stress relief toolkit.
Learning how to effectively self-soothe can be life-changing!
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/396
856 Signs of Abandonment Issues (374 Rerun)
Do you find that you attach unusually quickly to people, whether in friendships or romantic relationships? Do you stay in relationships that you know are bad for you because the thought of being alone scares …
Notes de l’épisode
Do you find that you attach unusually quickly to people, whether in friendships or romantic relationships? Do you stay in relationships that you know are bad for you because the thought of being alone scares you more than staying in a bad relationship? Or do you repeatedly find yourself in relationships with unavailable people? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might have abandonment issues. In this episode, I'm helping you recognize the signs of abandonment issues in adult relationships and reviewing the most common causes of chronic fear of abandonment.
Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/374
855 Being Nice to Avoid Conflict Isn't Nice, It's Controlling - Here's Why (714 Rerun)
Are you a nice person? Do you think it's possible to be too nice? Or that wanting to be nice is an excuse some high-functioning codependents hide behind to avoid conflict? In my personal and professional …
Notes de l’épisode
Are you a nice person?
Do you think it's possible to be too nice? Or that wanting to be nice is an excuse some high-functioning codependents hide behind to avoid conflict?
In my personal and professional experience, it is possible to be too nice, and it's not great for your relationships.
In this episode, we'll explore what it means to be nice, what being too nice looks like, why it matters, and how to shift your behavior to authentic niceness.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/714
853 5 Signs your emotional boundaries need work (341 Rerun)
Do you ever feel responsible for the feelings of others? Do you overgive and overfunction? Do you suffer from chronic indecision? If any of those things resonate, today's episode is for you. I am going to share …
Notes de l’épisode
Do you ever feel responsible for the feelings of others? Do you overgive and overfunction? Do you suffer from chronic indecision? If any of those things resonate, today's episode is for you. I am going to share with you five signs that your emotional boundaries need help.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/853
851 10 Signs You're Suppressing Your Anger (354 Rerun)
When you're upset with someone about something, do you: Say nothing, but silently keep score? Talk to other people about it? Ice the person out? Send them a passive-aggressive or sarcastic text? If any of those …
Notes de l’épisode
When you're upset with someone about something, do you:
Say nothing, but silently keep score?
Talk to other people about it?
Ice the person out?
Send them a passive-aggressive or sarcastic text?
If any of those rang a bell, you are not alone which is why in this week's episode, I'm breaking down the top 10 indicators that you might be suppressing and/or unconsciously repressing your anger.
Raising your awareness around when you might be acting out feelings of frustration or anger is the first step to expressing yourself in a healthier way. I promise you, learning these skills will improve all of your relationships, including the one you have with yourself.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/354
849 Spot Emotional Manipulation (313 Rerun)
Have you ever been in an argument with someone and before the end of the argument, even though they have done something quite egregious, you find yourself apologizing? Have you ever been in a heated exchange …
Notes de l’épisode
Have you ever been in an argument with someone and before the end of the argument, even though they have done something quite egregious, you find yourself apologizing?
Have you ever been in a heated exchange with someone and they straight up deny the thing you know they did? This could sound like, "What are you talking about?"; "I never said/did that."; or, "I'm worried about you."
If you are nodding your head yes, then you are in luck because in today's episode of The Terri Cole Show, this is exactly what I'm addressing. Emotional manipulation is real, people! The more you know about it, the less you will fall victim to it. I'm teaching you all about Boundary Destroyers and their tactics so you can effectively protect yourself.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/313
847 Codependency: From Confusion to Clarity (349 Rerun)
Are you confused about what it means to be codependent? Do you ever wonder what codependency looks like in practice? If you're nodding your head yes, that's understandable. In my experience, there is often …
Notes de l’épisode
Are you confused about what it means to be codependent? Do you ever wonder what codependency looks like in practice?
If you're nodding your head yes, that's understandable. In my experience, there is often confusion around the topic of codependency, with a ton of misconceptions and a plethora of myths clouding up what it looks like in real life.
In today's episode, I'm delivering rock-solid clarity about what codependency is by showing you what it's not. Ready for some major myth-busting?! Let's go!
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/349
845 Disordered Boundaries + High-Functioning Codependency: What You Need to Know (716 Rerun)
"Is she entitled? Or have you just been serving yourself up on a platter?" My therapist asked me that years ago, while I was mid-rant about a friend who kept asking me for favors. It stopped me cold, and it …
Notes de l’épisode
"Is she entitled? Or have you just been serving yourself up on a platter?"
My therapist asked me that years ago, while I was mid-rant about a friend who kept asking me for favors. It stopped me cold, and it changed how I understood my own patterns.
If you're the one who says "I got it" before anyone finishes asking, who anticipates everyone's needs, who lies awake wondering if you came off as selfish, this episode is for you.
It's part one of a two-part series on boundaries and high functioning codependency, and I'm breaking down why boundaries are so hard for those of us who over-give, auto-accommodate, and self-sacrifice on autopilot.
You'll learn what boundaries are made of (your preferences, desires, limits, and deal breakers), how HFC traits create disordered boundaries, and why healthy boundaries are the bridge to the relationships you want.
Ready for the scripts? Part two, with word-for-word boundary scenarios, is at terricole.com/718.
This episode is part of our Best of The Terri Cole Show summer series: the most-requested episodes of the show, back to back, while new episodes are in the works for fall.
Get the free assessment guide for this episode: terricole.com/guide Listen to part two: terricole.com/718 Find out where you stand with boundaries: boundaryquiz.com
843 Six Ways to Build Emotional Safety in Your Relationships (confirmed)
Last week, we talked about what emotional insecurity looks like, the patterns that tell you safety is missing in a relationship. This week is about what comes next: what actually creates emotional safety …
Notes de l’épisode
Last week, we talked about what emotional insecurity looks like, the patterns that tell you safety is missing in a relationship. This week is about what comes next: what actually creates emotional safety.
Emotionally safe relationships do not just happen by accident.
They are built through small, consistent behaviors over time. Trust, respect, honesty, and repair are skills, not lucky outcomes.
Here are six things you can practice to build more emotional safety in the relationships that matter most to you.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/843
842 Sustainable Healing with Koya Webb
Have you ever achieved your biggest goals only to end up feeling completely exhausted, lonely, and burnt out? In this episode, I'm sitting down with my soul-sister and nervous system regulation expert, Koya …
Notes de l’épisode
Have you ever achieved your biggest goals only to end up feeling completely exhausted, lonely, and burnt out?
In this episode, I'm sitting down with my soul-sister and nervous system regulation expert, Koya Webb, to unpack the hidden trap of high-functioning codependency and people-pleasing. Koya opens up about her raw "dark night of the soul" moment—crying in a bathtub after hosting a massively successful 8,000-person event—and how it forced her to stop self-abandoning and start truly healing.
Whether you are a super-empath, a highly sensitive person (HSP), or just someone running on empty, this conversation will give you the exact science-backed daily rituals you need to reset your nervous system, build deep community, and reclaim your personal sovereignty.
We dive deep into Koya's brand new book, "Well Being Rituals: Science-Backed Practices for Sustainable Healing and Living," exploring the 7 levels of holistic well-being you can start practicing today. It's time to stop giving from an empty bucket!
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/842
841 5 Signs of Emotional Insecurity in Relationships
Last week, we talked about what emotional insecurity looks like, the patterns that tell you safety is missing in a relationship. This week is about what comes next: what actually creates emotional safety …
Notes de l’épisode
Last week, we talked about what emotional insecurity looks like, the patterns that tell you safety is missing in a relationship. This week is about what comes next: what actually creates emotional safety.
Emotionally safe relationships do not just happen by accident.
They are built through small, consistent behaviors over time. Trust, respect, honesty, and repair are skills, not lucky outcomes.
Here are six things you can practice to build more emotional safety in the relationships that matter most to you.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/841
840 Bless + Release with Danielle LaPorte
If you've been carrying anger, disappointment, guilt, or emotional baggage, this episode offers a powerful new perspective on healing, peace, and personal growth. In this conversation with Danielle LaPorte, we …
Notes de l’épisode
If you've been carrying anger, disappointment, guilt, or emotional baggage, this episode offers a powerful new perspective on healing, peace, and personal growth.
In this conversation with Danielle LaPorte, we explore why emotional healing starts with compassion instead of control. We talk about resentment, rejection, gratitude, forgiveness, emotional resilience, and the surprising connection between creating the life you want and releasing what no longer serves you.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/840
839 You Can Raise Your EQ at Any Age. Here Is Where to Start.
I am obsessed with emotional intelligence. It is something I have always done naturally without knowing what it was called. Emotional intelligence, or EQ, measures your capacity to understand, perceive, and …
Notes de l’épisode
I am obsessed with emotional intelligence. It is something I have always done naturally without knowing what it was called.
Emotional intelligence, or EQ, measures your capacity to understand, perceive, and manage emotions, your own and other people's.
While IQ measures cognitive and logical ability, EQ measures your capacity for interpersonal success. Higher emotional intelligence is linked to better stress management, more satisfying relationships, and greater leadership potential at work.
The eight traits in this episode are how higher EQ shows up in real life, and they are all skills you can practice to raise yours at any age.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/839
838 Love Hard on Purpose with John Kim (The Angry Therapist)
Stop falling into the anxious-avoidant attachment trap. In this episode, learn how to build a healthy relationship and experience corrective love. Today, I'm sitting down for a deeply personal, raw, and honest …
Notes de l’épisode
Stop falling into the anxious-avoidant attachment trap. In this episode, learn how to build a healthy relationship and experience corrective love. Today, I'm sitting down for a deeply personal, raw, and honest conversation with my longtime friend John Kim (aka The Angry Therapist) to discuss his brand new book, Love Hard on Purpose: Toss the Blueprints, Build Something Honest.
We are stripping away the fairytale narratives and diving into what it actually takes to build a secure relationship from scratch. John opens up about his heavy heart following a recent relationship rupture, how losing his home in the Altadena fires completely transformed his identity, and his own realization about childhood mother wounds and shadow addictions. I also share my own journey healing a father wound and breaking free from high-functioning codependency.
Whether you are single on purpose or trying to navigate a long-term partnership, this episode will show you how to move past the trauma breakers and rewire your body to accept a calm, healthy, and deeply intimate love.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/838
837 5 Things That Sound Like Boundaries But Aren't
A lot of what gets called "setting a boundary" out on the internet and in real life isn't a boundary at all. Boundaries are not punishment. They are not a lever for controlling other people. They are not what …
Notes de l’épisode
A lot of what gets called "setting a boundary" out on the internet and in real life isn't a boundary at all.
Boundaries are not punishment.
They are not a lever for controlling other people.
They are not what you do when someone makes you mad.
I wrote a whole book about this called Boundary Boss, and the definition is simple. Your boundaries are your preferences, your desires, your limits, and your deal breakers, plus your ability to communicate them. That is the whole thing.
Misnaming a boundary does not just sound wrong; it makes the work harder. When you call a threat a boundary, communication has become confusing, and you may keep fighting about the same things on a loop.
Here are the five most common boundary impostors.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/837
835 The 4 Phrases HFCs Say Without Realizing It
"It's fine." "I got it." "Don't worry about me." "I'll figure it out." If you say one of these without thinking, several times a day, this episode is for you. These are the phrases that keep us stuck in …
Notes de l’épisode
"It's fine." "I got it." "Don't worry about me." "I'll figure it out."
If you say one of these without thinking, several times a day, this episode is for you. These are the phrases that keep us stuck in high-functioning codependent behavior, and they sound generous. But there is an invisibility to what we are doing, and a cost.
These automatic behaviors are a nervous system response, habituated over years. As high-functioning codependents (HFCs), we react before we think, the moment a problem comes up. Learning to pause is the intervention. That moment before you say I got it is where the work happens, because on autopilot it is hard to change what comes out of your mouth.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/835
834 Better Reproductive Healthcare with Nikki Sapiro Vinckier
Ever felt ignored, dismissed, or completely rushed by your doctor? In this episode, OB-GYN physician assistant and medical advocate Nikki Sapiro Vincier exposes the systemic flaws inside reproductive …
Notes de l’épisode
Ever felt ignored, dismissed, or completely rushed by your doctor? In this episode, OB-GYN physician assistant and medical advocate Nikki Sapiro Vincier exposes the systemic flaws inside reproductive healthcare—and shares exactly how you can take control of your medical care today.
I sat down with Nikki to unpack the disturbing reality of medical gaslighting, why it takes an average of 7 to 10 years to get an endometriosis diagnosis, and why "breaking up with your doctor" might actually save your life. Whether you are navigating the gaps in postpartum care, trying to survive perimenopause, or just trying to get a straight answer from your clinician, Nikki provides the ultimate step-by-step guide to triaging your own symptoms, gathering your "receipts," and demanding the care you deserve.
It's time to stop passively existing in a system that wasn't built to serve you.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/834
833 Why High Functioning Women Don't Know What Their Needs Are, and How to Identify Them
Do you know what you need? Not what your kids need, or what your partner needs, or what your team at work needs. What you need. In my therapy practice, when I ask high-functioning women what they need for the …
Notes de l’épisode
Do you know what you need? Not what your kids need, or what your partner needs, or what your team at work needs. What you need.
In my therapy practice, when I ask high-functioning women what they need for the coming week, many of them either freeze or hand me a list of responsibilities. Things they have to get done. These things are not the same thing.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/833
832 Master Uncertainty with Simone Stolzoff
Have you ever found yourself paralyzed by a major life decision, desperately wishing you just had the right answer? In this episode of the show, I sit down with author and journalist Simone Stolzoff to dive …
Notes de l’épisode
Have you ever found yourself paralyzed by a major life decision, desperately wishing you just had the right answer?
In this episode of the show, I sit down with author and journalist Simone Stolzoff to dive into a topic we all struggle with: our deep aversion to the unknown. Simone shares the inspiration behind his latest book, How to Not Know: The Value of Uncertainty in a World That Demands Answers, and breaks down how our hyper-connected world has ruined our ability to sit with ambiguity.
If you're tired of overthinking, catastrophizing, or trying to control the future, this episode is exactly what you need to expand your window of tolerance and reclaim your peace.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/832
831 How to Manage Anxiety in Anxious Times (And What to Look at First)
For the past six months, people have been asking me to do an episode on managing anxiety. We are living in genuinely anxious times, and the real things to be anxious about are not in short supply. So here it …
Notes de l’épisode
For the past six months, people have been asking me to do an episode on managing anxiety. We are living in genuinely anxious times, and the real things to be anxious about are not in short supply. So here it is.
For me, anxiety feels like unease. Like I am forgetting something. Like something is wrong, even when I cannot point to what it is.
I have noticed a clear uptick in clients describing this lately, too. Difficulty sleeping, intrusive thoughts, a body that cannot relax, the sense of panic gathering. This is anxiety that interferes with daily life and makes it difficult, or even impossible, to do the things we want to do. If this is you, you are not alone, and there are things that help.
Read the show notes for today's episode terricole.com/831
830 Optimize Your Mental Health with Dr. Paul Conti
This conversation with the incredible Dr. Paul Conti changed how I look at mental health. We've all been taught that we're driven by aggression or pleasure—but Paul reveals there is a third "Generative Drive" …
Notes de l’épisode
This conversation with the incredible Dr. Paul Conti changed how I look at mental health. We've all been taught that we're driven by aggression or pleasure—but Paul reveals there is a third "Generative Drive" that is the actual key to our wellness.
In this episode, we dive deep into his new book, What's Going Right. We talk about why we are so "lost" in negativity, how to move past the stigma of mental health, and the practical "self-inquiry" tools you can use to pull your unconscious patterns out of the "basement" and into the light.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/830
829 The Daughters Who Grew Up Taking Care of Their Mothers (And What It Costs Them as Adults)
Most little girls grow up being cared for by their mothers. Some little girls grow up caring for their mothers. This episode is for the second group. We are talking about parentified daughters. What it means …
Notes de l’épisode
Most little girls grow up being cared for by their mothers.
Some little girls grow up caring for their mothers.
This episode is for the second group. We are talking about parentified daughters. What it means, why it happens, and how it may still be impacting your life now.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/829
828 Choosing Friendships That Help Us Grow with Alex Elle
I've always said that our relationships are the mirrors of our internal world, but what happens when you realize a friendship has reached its expiration date? In this episode, I'm joined by the incredible Alex …
Notes de l’épisode
I've always said that our relationships are the mirrors of our internal world, but what happens when you realize a friendship has reached its expiration date? In this episode, I'm joined by the incredible Alex Elle (New York Times bestselling author of The Company We Keep) to dive deep into the "taboo" side of friendship.
We're talking about why it's okay to outgrow people, how to handle that "visceral" feeling of misalignment, and why some of our most sacred bonds are actually voluntary. If you've ever felt like you're walking on eggshells with a friend or struggling with the guilt of moving on, this conversation is for you. We're curing the "disease to please" and learning how to cultivate a VIP section that actually feels safe.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/828
827 Why Women Don't Talk About Their Mothers (And What It Costs Them)
We talk about everything now. Trauma, therapy, childhood, the things that happened to us, and the things we are still working through. Almost everything is fair game. Except this one. When the relationship with …
Notes de l’épisode
We talk about everything now. Trauma, therapy, childhood, the things that happened to us, and the things we are still working through. Almost everything is fair game.
Except this one.
When the relationship with your mother is a painful one, the cultural agreement is that you keep it to yourself. On today's episode, I'm sharing why that's a bad idea and what you can do to break the taboo.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/827
826 Stop Overthinking + Calm Your Body with Jessica Ortner
Struggling with anxiety or overthinking? Learn the science of EFT Tapping for instant stress relief and nervous system regulation. In this episode, I'm joined by New York Times bestselling author Jessica Ortner …
Notes de l’épisode
Struggling with anxiety or overthinking? Learn the science of EFT Tapping for instant stress relief and nervous system regulation.
In this episode, I'm joined by New York Times bestselling author Jessica Ortner to dive into her brand-new book, Rewired.
Jessica reveals the science behind EFT Tapping and how it can literally lower your cortisol by 43% in minutes. We explore why your brain gets "stuck" in loops of overthinking and how to send a signal of safety to your nervous system so you can finally feel at ease. Whether you're struggling with self-sabotage, boundary-setting, or parenting anxiety, Jessica's approach is a total game-changer.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/826
825 What a Mean Mother Leaves Behind (And How to Heal It)
If you had a mean or rejecting mother, you probably learned early not to talk about it. People don't want to believe it. They say things like "you only have one mother" or "she did her best," and suddenly …
Notes de l’épisode
If you had a mean or rejecting mother, you probably learned early not to talk about it. People don't want to believe it. They say things like "you only have one mother" or "she did her best," and suddenly you're defending your own experience to someone who can't imagine having it.
That isolation is often the first wound.
This episode continues the mother wound conversation from last week. While every story is different, there are patterns I've seen consistently across almost 30 years of clinical work with daughters of mean and rejecting mothers. Here's what the research and the therapy room both show.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/825
824 Boundaries for Family Drama with Ashley Oerman
Is it possible to heal when the person who raised you continues to cause chaos? In this episode, Terri sits down with journalist and editor Ashley Oerman to dismantle the stigma surrounding toxic family …
Notes de l’épisode
Is it possible to heal when the person who raised you continues to cause chaos?
In this episode, Terri sits down with journalist and editor Ashley Oerman to dismantle the stigma surrounding toxic family dynamics. Following the viral conversation sparked by recent national debates on family estrangement, they dive into the heart of a question many struggle with: Do you have to go "No Contact," or is "Low Contact" a viable path to peace?
From her "origin story" in therapy to the realization that her social anxiety was a symptom of a deeper family wound, Ashley offers a roadmap for anyone grieving the relationship they never had.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/824
823 The Seven Mother Types and the Adults They Create
Have you ever wondered if your relationship with your mother was normal? Or noticed patterns in your adult relationships and traced them back to something that happened long before you had words for it? …
Notes de l’épisode
Have you ever wondered if your relationship with your mother was normal? Or noticed patterns in your adult relationships and traced them back to something that happened long before you had words for it?
Mother-daughter relationships can be among the most complicated we ever have. Whether the dynamic between you was loving, painful, confusing, or somewhere in between, it impacted you. After almost 30 years as a clinician, I've seen seven recurring archetypes, and that's what this episode covers: what each one looks like, and the lasting impact it can have on your adult life.
One thing before we start. Mother here means whoever raised you. It could be a grandmother, an older sibling, or an aunt. What matters is the dynamic, not the biology.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/823
Find my mother wound course at terricole.com/motherwound
822 Become a Love Magnet with Dr. Morgan Anderson
Is the "Male Loneliness Epidemic" actually a human connection crisis? I'm sitting down with clinical psychologist Dr. Morgan Anderson to break down why avoidant attachment is skyrocketing and how we can rebel …
Notes de l’épisode
Is the "Male Loneliness Epidemic" actually a human connection crisis? I'm sitting down with clinical psychologist Dr. Morgan Anderson to break down why avoidant attachment is skyrocketing and how we can rebel against a system that keeps us isolated.
In this episode, Dr. Morgan shares her personal journey from "relational trauma" to becoming a secure attachment expert. We dive deep into the rising trend of AI partners, why "over-functioning" is killing your joy, and the radical power of becoming a "Love Scientist." Whether you're navigating the apps or trying to heal a long-term partnership, this conversation is your roadmap to secure, high-IQ love.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/822
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