A Good Length – Conversations for men

Most men with low testosterone don’t need TRT. They need to find out why it’s low.

Vascular surgeon Dr Venu Bhamidi sits down with endocrinologist Dr Mark Forbes, who has decades of experience treating hormonal and metabolic disorders, for a frank look at testosterone and the modern man. They cover what testosterone really does, whether “male menopause” exists, and the biggest hidden causes of low T: body fat, SHBG, overwork, poor sleep and untreated sleep apnoea.

Mark explains when you should actually get tested, how even a couple of doses of testosterone can switch off your natural production for months, and the real risks of TRT and steroid use. Those risks include thickened blood, heart rhythm problems, wiped-out sperm counts and shrinking testicles. He also gives his verdict on popular testosterone supplements, from zinc and magnesium to ashwagandha and Tongkat Ali.

Then Venu puts his own blood results on the table and has them read live, unseen, to show why you can’t make a diagnosis on a number.

Essential listening for men aged 25 to 65, for young men in gym culture, and for anyone thinking about starting testosterone.

This episode is general information, not medical advice. Please speak with your own doctor about your health.

Chapters:
00:00 Introduction
03:07 Does testosterone make men aggressive?
05:01 Is “male menopause” real?
09:04 Why most men with low T don’t need TRT
14:30 Obesity, SHBG and low testosterone
21:51 Snoring, sleep apnoea and testosterone
24:28 When should a man get his testosterone tested?
29:38 How a couple of doses shuts down your own testosterone
32:30 The risks of TRT: thick blood, heart rhythm and the TRAVERSE trial
36:58 Testosterone and the prostate
38:28 Steroid doses, cycling and recovery
40:29 Gym culture and fertility
43:36 Shrinking testicles and sperm-free ejaculate
44:50 Do testosterone supplements work?
48:32 An endocrinologist reads Venu’s blood results
50:25 What a “normal range” really means
54:13 Sleep, painkillers and testosterone
57:34 Primary vs secondary hypogonadism
01:01:27 Pituitary tumours: the hidden cause
01:02:22 Testosterone gels vs injections
01:05:03 Who can prescribe TRT, and the PBS in Australia
01:07:59 Medical dose vs gym dose
01:11:04 Mark’s message to every man considering testosterone

#AGoodLength #Testosterone #TRT #MensHealth #steroids #fatherhood #divorce #erectiledysfunction #libido

Think your best physical years are behind you? Sports and exercise physician Dr Neil Stevenson says men can be stronger, fitter and more resilient in their 40s, 50s and beyond, if they choose to be.Dr Neil Stevenson is the Chief Medical Officer for the Queensland Academy of Sport and Australian Triathlon, and team doctor for the Queensland Reds in Super Rugby. He has worked across the NRL, AFL and NBL with the Sydney Swans, Brisbane Broncos and Brisbane Bullets. In this episode he shares what elite athletes do that everyday men should copy, and builds a realistic fitness plan for a busy man with only four hours a week.IN THIS EPISODE• The biggest myth men believe about ageing and fitness• Which blood tests to get before you start training• High cholesterol: exercise first or medication?• The Mediterranean diet, carbs, and why keto and carnivore diets are hard to sustain• Strength training after 40: rep ranges, progressive overload and avoiding injury• Gym vs CrossFit vs Hyrox: which is best for longevity?• Good pain vs injury, and what your MRI really shows• Recovery: what's evidence and what's marketing• Sleep, melatonin, magnesium and creatine• A simple 5-exercise full-body workout• The 4-hour-a-week training plan• Four simple tests to know if you're ageing wellCHAPTERS00:00 Introduction00:29 The biggest fitness myth men believe01:27 What elite athletes do that you should copy05:21 Where to start: check-ups and blood tests07:43 High cholesterol: exercise or medication?09:08 The Mediterranean diet explained10:01 The best exercise for the next 15 years13:16 Building muscle: protein and carbs16:02 Keto, carnivore and fad diets17:10 Strength vs hypertrophy: the ideal rep range22:07 Should you train like an athlete?22:38 Gym vs CrossFit vs Hyrox23:49 The biggest mistake men over 40 make24:43 Good pain vs injury25:54 "I've stuffed my knees"27:40 Rotator cuff problems29:25 What your MRI really means31:51 When to push through pain33:36 Recovery: evidence vs theatre35:12 Melatonin and sleep hygiene36:59 Magnesium and creatine38:27 How many rest days you need39:52 The 5-exercise full-body workout42:24 Should you train your core?43:27 Can you overtrain?44:30 Fit in 4 hours a week46:36 Four tests to know you're ageing well48:45 Summary: what every man over 40 should doABOUT THE SHOWA Good Length is a podcast about men's psychology, divorce, health, fatherhood and mens health, hosted by Vascular Surgeon Dr Venu Bhamidi.If this episode helped, follow the show and share it with a mate who needs to hear it.This episode is for general information only and isn't medical advice. Speak with your GP or a sports physician before starting a new exercise program.#MensHealth #FitnessOver40 #StrengthTraining #Longevity #SportsMedicine #AgeingWell #HealthyAgeing #ResistanceTraining #SleepAndRecovery #Hyrox #MensFitness #AGoodLength #Podcast #fatherhood #menshealth #fatherhood #divorce

Why are men dying by suicide at record rates, even after asking for help? George, creator of The Tin Men, joins Dr Venu Bhamidi on A Good Length for an honest conversation about men’s mental health, male loneliness, and the men and boys society overlooks.George went from self-described feminist to one of the UK’s most-followed advocates for men and boys. In this episode, he challenges the “men just need to talk” narrative. He argues that male suicide is often driven by real-world crises: divorce, losing children in family court, debt, job loss and domestic abuse.We discuss:- Why men who seek help are still falling through the cracksDomestic violence against men and the funding gap for male victims- The male empathy gap, and why abuse against men goes unrecognised- Why boys are falling behind in school, and the shortage of male teachers- Male loneliness, friendship loss in fatherhood, and alexithymia (struggling to name emotions)- Suicide risk after separation and divorce for fathers- False allegations in family court- Men’s Sheds, social prescribing, and why men heal shoulder to shoulder- Feminism, patriarchy, and how to advocate for men without blaming women- Three reforms men and boys need nowDr. Venu Bhamidi also shares his own experience of loneliness after separation, and the moment he finally put a name to it. Whether you’re a father, a partner, a parent of boys, or someone who cares about men’s health, this conversation will change how you think about men’s mental health.🎧 A Good Length is a men’s psychology podcast exploring mental health, fatherhood, masculinity and men’s health, hosted by Gold Coast vascular surgeon Dr Venu Bhamidi.👉 Follow George: @TheTinMenCHAPTERS00:00 Intro00:56 How The Tin Men began04:48 Why male suicide connects everything07:02 Who The Tin Men is for08:51 Scotland: 40% of victims, 0.2% of funding10:34 What is the male empathy gap?14:24 The abuse you can’t see15:40 Bilateral violence18:17 Why men don’t believe male victims19:44 Class, race and disability21:40 Poverty or school design?24:04 Are classrooms built against boys?27:38 Why boys need male teachers29:33 Ask boys what they want31:24 From school failure to suicide risk33:40 Men ARE asking for help35:13 Why men don’t go to the doctor36:55 Should therapy be different for men?38:36 Social prescribing and Men’s Sheds41:20 Fathers and the friendship cliff45:33 The day I named my loneliness46:24 Alexithymia: no words for feelings48:21 Separation, divorce and suicide risk50:40 False allegations in family court55:50 Blame institutions, not women57:23 Can men’s advocates work with feminism?59:03 Is the UK a patriarchy?1:00:45 What his critics get right1:02:48 Cherry-picking and confirmation bias1:05:07 Does social media reward rage?1:08:41 King George’s 3 reforms for men and boys1:14:08 Will men’s spaces become grievance circles?1:17:45 What his female followers say1:18:51 Listen, ask, actIf you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out:🇦🇺 Lifeline 13 11 14 · MensLine Australia 1300 78 99 78🇬🇧 Samaritans 116 123The views expressed by guests are their own. This podcast is for general information and is not a substitute for professional advice.#MensMentalHealth #MensHealth #Fatherhood #MensIssues #AGoodLengthPodcast

After 27 years in family court representing only men, divorce lawyer David Pisarra has one piece of advice that will make you uncomfortable: think very carefully before you marry.In this full conversation on A Good Length, vascular surgeon and divorced father Dr Venu Bhamidi sits down with David Pisarra, California family law attorney and founder of Dad's Law School. They talk about why family court has become "global thermonuclear war", how fathers are falsely accused and lose their kids, the alimony double standard facing stay-at-home dads, and what every man should know before he commits, separates or fights for custody.This is divorce advice for men from someone who has seen thousands of cases, along with a frank look at where men sabotage themselves.CHAPTERS0:00 Welcome David Pisarra1:04 Growing up with domestic violence and alcohol6:59 How family court became toxic9:05 "Divorce by ambush"9:49 Why he only represents men14:04 The 3-year divorce plan15:35 What to do in the first days of a divorce22:12 The silver bullet: kicked out in 5 minutes25:06 Body cams for fathers29:32 How men sabotage their own cases32:35 What the fathers' rights movement gets wrong38:40 The judge has already judged you41:08 What's a fair custody arrangement?47:42 Is custody being weaponised for child support?53:55 Alimony and stay-at-home dads58:44 "Never get married"1:00:43 Red flags before you commit1:05:35 His 4 rules for a happy life1:08:09 Separate bank accounts and prenups1:10:35 What fathers refuse to believe1:13:30 Answering a feminist family lawyer1:16:04 Relocation: when she moves the kids away1:22:29 The Hague ConventionABOUT DAVID PISARRAFamily law attorney, author and founder of Dad's Law School: https://www.unionofdads.com/ABOUT A GOOD LENGTHConversations for men on psychology, health, fatherhood and masculinity.Instagram: @agoodlength

Spotify & Apple Podcasts: A Good Length: Conversations for MenGuest or story enquiries: [email protected] practises in California. Family law differs between countries and states. This episode is general information, not legal advice. Speak to a family lawyer in your jurisdiction.#DivorceAdvice #FamilyCourt #FathersRights #divorce #fatherhood

Why do so many men sit in the driveway before walking inside after a hard day? And what changes when the person waiting behind that front door makes them feel safe?

In this episode of A Good Length, Vascular Surgeon Dr. Venu Bhamidi explores the power of a good woman after a bad day: the psychology, the biology, and the hard-won lessons from divorce, self-reflection and finding love again.

This isn't a fantasy about the perfect partner. It's an honest conversation about emotional safety, men's mental health, and why a man who comes home to genuine peace doesn't shrink, he expands.

In this episode:

- Why high-performing men are so good at "appearing fine," and what it costs them

- What happens in your nervous system when you walk through the front door (cortisol, oxytocin and the science of co-regulation)

- The four things most men want from a partner but rarely say out loud: softness, peace, loyalty and recognition

- Why tying your self-worth to your output is so exhausting

- What men regret at the end of their lives, from 20 years as a doctor

- Secure attachment in adults: why emotional safety makes men braver at work and more patient at home

- The trap of intermittent warmth, and why men stay in draining relationships too long

- Why it has to go both ways: what a good woman deserves in return

- Learning to receive love when you've spent a lifetime saying "I'm fine"

- The Five-Minute Driveway Reset: a simple ritual to stop carrying a bad day into your home

If this episode put words to something you've been carrying, share it with a man who needs it, or with the good woman in your life who might not know how much she matters.

Subscribe Now for weekly conversations on men's psychology, health, fatherhood and masculinity.

REFERENCES

Coan, Schaefer & Davidson (2006). Lending a hand: social regulation of the neural response to threat. Psychological Science.

Holt-Lunstad, Smith & Layton (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk. PLoS Medicine.

Robles et al. (2014). Marital quality and health: a meta-analytic review. Psychological Bulletin.

Feeney (2004). A secure base: responsive support of goal strivings. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Butler & Randall (2013). Emotional coregulation in close relationships. Emotion Review.

Balban et al. (2023). Brief structured respiration practices enhance mood. Cell Reports Medicine.

Books: The Good Life (Waldinger & Schulz), The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (Bronnie Ware), Hold Me Tight (Sue Johnson), The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (John Gottman), I Don't Want to Talk About It (Terrence Real).

Support

If you're struggling, or your relationship involves fear or control, MensLine Australia is available 24/7 on 1300 78 99 78. In an emergency, call 000.

This content is for education and reflection and is not a substitute for personal medical or psychological advice.

#MensHealth #Relationships #Divorce #Masculinity #marriage

Time can be divided. Distance cannot.

When separated parents live in the same city, a child keeps the architecture of their life: the same school, the same friends, the same streets. When a court permits relocation, one parent's relationship doesn't shrink. It changes category. He becomes an adult who arrives, is hosted, and leaves.

This episode is addressed to the judges of the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia, and to the report writers and Independent Children's Lawyers who advise them. It isn't an argument about divorce, and it isn't a complaint about mothers. It's about one decision: the one that puts real geographical distance between a child and a parent who loves them.

It covers what the research actually shows about non-resident fathers, why video calls can't carry a childhood, how a loving relationship can erode without anybody causing it, why delay decides these cases before the final hearing does, and why relocation is one of the few orders a court can make that time will not let it take back.

Safety comes first, and nothing here asks any court to lower that threshold. But where both parents are safe, loving and capable, distance is the one variable in the order that quietly decides everything else.

Chapters00:00 An open letter to the bench01:23 Same city is not the same thing02:45 A visitor in his own children's lives04:09 Section 60CC and the cost of absence05:06 Quantity of contact, quality of fathering06:46 "Dad doesn't even know me"08:48 Unproven risk10:01 A screen can't carry a childhood11:09 The only door12:41 When novelty becomes disruption14:14 Erosion without fault15:43 The adolescent window17:15 The Disneyland Dad19:18 Why fathers stop21:32 A grief with no name22:35 The child's answer23:44 Delay makes the decision24:50 The order you can't take back26:44 The ask27:51 The judgment ends, the consequences don't29:14 Three friends

SupportIf this episode is close to home, please don't sit with it alone.MensLine Australia — 1300 78 99 78Lifeline — 13 11 14Emergency — 000

This episode discusses parental separation, grief and suicide.

Nothing in this episode is legal advice. If you're facing a relocation application, get advice from a family lawyer in your jurisdiction.

#fatherhood #marriage #divorce #agoodlength #menshealth

What happens to a man’s identity when the life he built suddenly disappears? For some men, that happens through divorce, separation, marriage breakdown, changes in fatherhood or career loss. For Dr Dinesh Palipana, it happened in an instant.

In 2010, while studying medicine, Dinesh was involved in a catastrophic car accident that caused a spinal cord injury and left him quadriplegic.

In this episode of A Good Length, Dr Venu Bhamidi sits down with Dinesh — doctor, lawyer, researcher, author and disability advocate — for a remarkably candid conversation about identity, masculinity, disability, relationships, intimacy, men’s mental health, resilience and rebuilding life after profound change. Dinesh takes us back to the moment he realised he was paralysed. We also go somewhere conversations about disability rarely go: dating, attraction, sexuality, relationships, physical touch and intimacy.

How does a man understand masculinity when his body no longer works as it once did? What happens to sexual identity and desirability after catastrophic injury? And how do you allow someone else to see you vulnerable when you struggle to accept your own body? But this conversation is about IDENTITY AFTER LOSS.

Men rebuilding after divorce, separation, marriage breakdown, changes in fatherhood, retirement, career failure, illness or disability face very different circumstances, but often encounter the same fundamental question: Who am I when the role that defined me disappears?

Before his accident, Dinesh associated success with career, money, cars, a house, marriage, children and status. Today, he sees identity differently. Bodies change. Careers end. Marriages can end. Children grow up. Money disappears. Status fades. Dinesh advocates for building identity around values: integrity, gratitude, friendship, service, character and purpose.

We also discuss depression and suicide, male friendship, quality of life after disability, hope in medicine, spinal cord injury research and what Dinesh would say to someone wondering whether life is still worth living.

A Good Length explores the conversations men often don’t have — divorce, marriage, separation, fatherhood, men’s health, relationships, masculinity, identity and rebuilding when life doesn’t go according to plan. Subscribe for new episodes on masculinity, fatherhood, identity, health and the things men don't say out loud.

#AGoodLength #DineshPalipana #MensMentalHealth #depression #SpinalCordInjury #Masculinity #Disability #MensHealth #Identity #Resilience #BioSpine

CHAPTERS

00:00 — A story that seems impossible

01:15 — Who Dinesh was before

03:37 — Depression in law school, and how he found medicine

05:54 — The last ordinary day

07:37 — Waking up unable to move

08:58 — "It's going to be okay, Mum"

10:11 — What happens to manhood when the body fails

11:38 — Two years without looking in a mirror

12:39 — Needing help vs feeling helpless

13:31 — The friend who didn't make it to the weekend

16:01 — What doctors say to catastrophically injured patients that's useless

17:38 — Who gets to decide what a life is worth

20:12 — Pity, discrimination, and what actually gets under his skin

22:16 — Is being "inspirational" a prison?

23:50 — Who sees you on the bad days

24:46 — Male friendship, and why the group chat matters

26:46 — Did achievement replace independence?

27:43 — The thing he misses most: human touch

29:19 — Disability, intimacy and sexual desirability

32:27 — Sex, identity and being a man

34:14 — Love, loyalty, and the dynamic he still hasn't solved

37:06 — Healthy ambition vs proving people wrong

37:49 — The barn, and the moon

40:14 — Impermanence, Buddhism and letting go of who you think you are

42:59 — Advice for any man who's just lost his identity

45:18 — The one thing he can't make peace with

46:52 — BioSpine and a world without paralysis

49:19 — Hope vs scientific detachment

51:44 — Quickfire

54:18 — To the man lying in a hospital bed tonight

How do you deal with a controlling ex after divorce without allowing high-conflict co-parenting to consume your life? Dr Venu Bhamidi examines post-separation control, emotional bait, difficult co-parenting communication, the BIFF and grey rock methods, financial conflict, parenting boundaries and the fear many fathers experience of becoming a visitor in their children's lives.

The objective isn't to win every argument. It's to understand what you actually control—your communication, reactions, boundaries, parenting and home—and stop surrendering your peace trying to control what you don't.

A practical conversation about divorce, fatherhood, emotional regulation and playing the long game when co-parenting becomes a battle for control.

A Good Length with Dr Venu Bhamidi - Real conversations about male advocacy, men’s health and how men can develop positive and productive lives.

#Divorce #CoParenting #highconflict #fatherhood #menshealth #agoodlength

Why do some men appear to fall apart after divorce?

For many couples, the official separation isn't actually day one. One partner may have spent months or years emotionally processing the end of the marriage, while the other experiences it as a sudden collapse of family, home, identity and control.

In this episode of A Good Length, Dr. Venu Bhamidi examines the psychology of divorce for men and the experience of fathers after separation.

We explore why men can feel blindsided by divorce; the difference between the initiator and non-initiator; why male social networks often collapse after separation; loneliness and isolation among divorced fathers; the loss of everyday fatherhood; anger, grief and emotional dysregulation; and why a man's behaviour during the worst period of his life can sometimes become retrospective "evidence" against him.

The episode also examines the social dynamics surrounding divorce: how narratives form, why mutual friendships disappear, why men often rely too heavily on their romantic partner for emotional support, and why rebuilding an independent social network is critical to long-term recovery.

Most importantly, this episode is about what men can actually control. Stop trying to win every narrative. Build your own community. Protect your children from the conflict. Regulate your behaviour when emotions are at their highest. Look after your sleep, physical health and alcohol intake. And recognise that rebuilding life after divorce is rarely about simply "moving on."

Sometimes the goal is learning to carry what happened without allowing it to deform the person you become.

A Good Length — Real conversations about male advocacy, men’s health and fostering positive masculinity.

Topics: divorce for men, men's mental health, divorced fathers, fatherhood after separation, male loneliness, separation, relationships, masculinity, co-parenting, life after divorce, rebuilding after divorce and men's social isolation.

Academic References

1. Leopold, T. (2018). Gender Differences in the Consequences of Divorce: A Study of Multiple Outcomes. Demography, 55(3), 769–797. (Key panel data examining short-term subjective well-being collapses in men vs. chronic economic impacts in women).

2. Shor,E., et al. (2021). Union Dissolution and Acute Mental Health Crises: A Longitudinal Assessment of Post-Separation Gender Trajectories. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 62(2), 145–162. (Examining acute emotional distress and health declines immediately following marital separation).

3. Rosenfeld, M. J. (2015/2018). Who wants the breakup? Gender and breakup in heterosexual couples. Presented to the American Sociological Association; analysis of the How Couples Meet and Stay Together survey, waves 2009–2015. StanfordUniversity.

4. Milardo, R. M. (1987). Changes in social networks of women and men following divorce: A review. Journal of Family Issues, 8(1), 78–96.

5. Rosenthal, C. J. (1985). Kinkeeping in the familial division of labour. Journal of Marriage and Family, 47(4), 965–974.

6. Ferrara, A., & Vergara, D. (2025). Theorizing mankeeping: The male friendship recession and women's associated labor as a structural component of gender inequality. Psychology of Men & Masculinities. American Psychological Association.

7. Patulny, R. (2012). Social contact, efficacy and support amongst Australian fathers. Journal of Family Studies, 18(2–3), 222–234. [ABS General Social Survey 2006.]

8. Australian Institute of Family Studies. Social connectedness among Australian males. Ten to Men: The Australian Longitudinal Study on Male Health, Waves 1–2 (2013/14,2015/16).

9. Kruk, E. (2010). Collateral damage: The lived experience of fathers removed from their children after divorce. Journal of Comparative Family Studies.

10. Perales, F., et al. (2024). Predictors of male loneliness across life stages: An Australian study of longitudinal data. BMC Public Health, 24. [HILDA Survey, waves 2–21.]

Success doesn’t happen by accident. Neither does great fatherhood. In this episode of A Good Length, I sit down with Rudi Khoury (Chief Digital Officer at Fisher & Paykel Appliances), to explore what it really takes to build a successful career without sacrificing your family, values or integrity. Growing up without his father from the age of 11, Rudi shares how his mother, grandparents, uncles and mentors shaped the man he became. We discuss leadership, ambition, purpose, parenting, marriage, resilience and why today’s young men need positive role models more than ever.

We also dive into:

* Growing up without a father

* Why mentors matter

* Balancing executive leadership with family life

* The hidden cost of ambition

* Marriage, partnership and shared leadership

* Raising resilient children

* Why victim mentality holds people back

* Building purpose instead of chasing comfort

* Preparing children for an AI-driven future

* Financial literacy and delayed gratification

* Health, relationships and long-term success

This conversation isn’t about perfection. It’s about becoming intentional—at work, at home and as a parent. If you’re a father, husband, leader or simply trying to build a meaningful life, this episode is for you.Subscribe for new conversations on Sundays.

⸻Chapters

00:00 Introduction

00:30 Growing up without a father

05:35 Male role models and mentorship

07:38 Building ambition and purpose

09:37 Balancing career and family

11:34 The personal cost of success

14:09 Being present as a husband and father

15:55 Raising sons and daughters

20:05 Why community shapes your children

23:03 Preparing children for the modern world

27:28 Purpose vs victim mentality

32:05 Sport, leadership and resilience

36:44 Leadership at work vs leadership at home

41:20 Marriage under pressure

48:00 Staying connected through family life

50:40 AI and the future of work

57:34 Advice to his younger self

1:05:44 Health, friendship and long-term success

1:07:24 Choosing the right life partner

#Fatherhood #Leadership #MensHealth #Parenting #Marriage #Purpose #Success #PersonalGrowth #Podcast #AGoodLength

In this deeply honest episode of “A Good Length,” I share my personal journey through divorce, confronting the profound shame and guilt that often accompany the end of a marriage, especially for men. Moving beyond socially acceptable language, I dive into the silent struggles men face, exploring the cultural expectations of masculinity, the physiological toll of unprocessed emotions, and the isolating grip of rumination.

Drawing on insights from experts like Brené Brown, Pauline Boss, and Viktor Frankl, this episode offers a powerful framework for understanding the difference between guilt and shame, and how to transform accountability into healing. I discuss the critical role of therapy, authentic male friendships, and self-compassion in navigating post-divorce recovery. I also address the unique challenges fathers face, offering guidance on how to forgive oneself for the impact on children and build a new, authentic identity.

This isn’t just a conversation about divorce; it’s about reclaiming your narrative, finding strength in vulnerability, and moving from grief to growth. If you’re a man grappling with the aftermath of a failed relationship, or simply seeking a deeper understanding of male emotional well-being, this episode is a vital listen.

Crisis Support:

If you or someone you know needs support, please reach out:

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636

Men’s Line Australia: 1300 78 99 78

#Divorce #MensMentalHealth #Shame #Guilt #Healing #Masculinity #Relationships #Fatherhood #SelfCompassion #Therapy #EmotionalWellbeing #Podcast #VenuBhamidi #AGoodLength

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Brooks, G.R. (2010). Beyond the Crisis of Masculinity. American Psychological Association.

Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection. Hazelden Publishing.

Brown, S. (2009). Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul. Avery.

Campbell, J. (1949). The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Pantheon Books.

Farrell, W. & Gray, J. (2018). The Boy Crisis. BenBella Books.

Frankl, V.E. (1946). Man's Search for Meaning. Beacon Press.

Germer, C.K. (2009). The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion. Guilford Press.

Glover, R.A. (2000). No More Mr. Nice Guy. Running Press.

Hayes, S.C., Strosahl, K.D., & Wilson, K.G. (1999). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Guilford Press.

Hetherington, E.M. & Kelly, J. (2002). For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered. W.W. Norton.

Kposowa, A.J. (2003). Divorce and suicide risk. Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, 57(12), 993.

Lebow, J.L. et al. (2012). Research on the treatment of couple distress. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 38(1), 145–168.

Liu, H., Waite, L., & Shen, S. (2018). Social Science & Medicine, 201, 107–115.

Luskin, F. (2002). Forgive for Good. HarperCollins.

Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. William Morrow.

Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2000). The role of rumination in depressive disorders. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 109(3), 504–511.

Pennebaker, J.W. & Smyth, J.M. (2016). Opening Up by Writing It Down. Guilford Press.

Perel, E. (2017). The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. Harper.

Peterson, J.B. (1999). Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief. Routledge.

Reeves, R. (2022). Of Boys and Men. Brookings Institution Press.

Seligman, M.E.P. (2011). Flourish. Free Press.

Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score. Viking.

Walker, M. (2017). Why We Sleep. Scribner.

Wallerstein, J.S. & Lewis, J. (2004). Psychoanalytic Psychology, 21(3), 353–370.

Winnicott, D.W. (1971). Playing and Reality. Tavistock.

Child support in Australia isn't a system that guarantees money reaches children — it's a formula that transfers wealth between adults and calls it justice. In this episode of I break down exactly how the current system ties custody time to cash, why that turns parenting time into a financial lever, and why the incentive structure is quietly manufacturing the very conflict it claims to prevent. This isn't an argument that fathers are victims or that mothers are villains. It's a structural critique — of a system built on decades-old assumptions about gender, parenting, and money — and a practical, evidence-based blueprint for what genuine reform would look like.If you're a father navigating separation, a policymaker, or just someone who wants to understand why family law conflict is so often financially — not emotionally — driven, this episode lays out the architecture of the problem and a real path forward.In this episode:– How Services Australia's child support formula actually works, and why the 35% and 66% care thresholds change everything financially– Why tying money to nights turns custody into a financial negotiation– The case for decoupling child support from custody time entirely– A direct third-party payment model: paying schools, health funds, and childcare providers instead of an ex-partner– Voluntary underemployment and the "capacity to earn" loophole– Binding Financial Agreements (BFAs) and Binding Child Support Agreements (BCSAs) — the contractual protections most men never use– The weaponisation of custody and family law allegations for financial leverage– What the research says about shared parenting and child development outcomesChapters:Introduction: When Everything You Assumed About Fatherhood Gets Fed Into a MachineSection 1: The Architecture of the Problem (how the formula actually works, the 35% and 66% thresholds)Section 2: Uncoupling Finances From Parenting TimeSection 3: Direct Payment to Third Parties — The Operational ModelSection 4: Equalised Parenting Outcomes — When the Money DisappearsSection 5: Voluntary Underemployment — The Invisible ManipulationSection 6: Binding Financial Agreements & Binding Child Support AgreementsSection 7: The Weaponisation of CustodySection 8: The Real Cost to ChildrenSection 9: The Bigger PictureSources & References:Australian Institute of Family Studies (2019). Post-separation parenting arrangements and developmental outcomes for children: Overview Report. Melbourne: AIFS.Nielsen, L. (2014). Shared physical custody: Summary of 40 studies on outcomes for children. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 55(8), 613–635.Cancian, M., & Meyer, D.R. (2014). Testing the economic independence hypothesis. Demography, 51(3), 857–880.Trinder, L. (2010). Shared residence: A review of recent research evidence. Child and Family Law Quarterly, 22(4), 475–498.Skinner, C., Bradshaw, J., & Davidson, J. (2007). Child Support Policy: An International Perspective. UK DWP, Research Report No. 405.Australian Law Reform Commission (2019). Family Law for the Future. Report 135. Canberra: ALRC.Sarkadi, A., Kristiansson, R., Oberklaid, F., & Bremberg, S. (2008). Fathers' involvement and children's developmental outcomes. Acta Paediatrica, 97(2), 153–158.Smyth, B. (Ed.) (2004). Parent-child contact and post-separation parenting arrangements. AIFS Research Report No. 9.Rhoades, H. (2010). The rise and rise of shared parenting laws. Canadian Journal of Family Law, 25(1), 185–210.Family Law Act 1975 (Cth), Part VIIIA — Financial Agreements.Child Support (Assessment) Act 1989 (Cth), Part 6 — Child Support Agreements.Disclaimer: This episode is for general information and discussion purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Always seek independent legal advice from a qualified family lawyer for your specific circumstances.#ChildSupport #FamilyLaw #Fatherhood #Divorce #Custody #Parenting #FamilyCourt #Podcast

Traditional gender roles aren't the problem — the silence around them is. In this episode, I break down the provider myth: the men quietly crushed by being taken for granted, and the men shamed for stepping outside the breadwinner script. Drawing on research into role strain, masculine identity, and relationship satisfaction — plus my own failed marriage — I lay out what genuine, freely chosen roles actually require, and why "choice" without honest conversation is just a prison with a nice origin story.

References:

1. Umberson, D., Pudrovska, T., & Reczek, C. (2010). Parenthood, childlessness, and well-being: A life course perspective. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 51(4), 612–629. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022146510383898

2. Levant, R. F., Hall, R. J., Williams, C. M., & Hasan, N. T. (2009). Gender differences in alexithymia. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 10(3), 190–203. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0015652

3. Doucet, A. (2016). Is the stay-at-home father a feminist act? Fathering, 14(2), 182–198. https://doi.org/10.3149/fth.1402.182

4. Kramer, K. Z., Kelly, E. L., & McCulloch, J. B. (2015). Stay-at-home fathers: Definition and characteristics based on 34 years of CPS data. Journal of Family Issues, 36(12), 1651–1673. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X13502479

5. Fetterolf, J. C., & Eagly, A. H. (2011). Do young women expect gender equality in their future lives? An answer from a possible selves experiment. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 35(2), 252–270.https://doi.org/10.1177/0361684310391frm

Books Referenced

Peterson, J. B. (2018). 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos. Random House Canada.

Pollack, W. (1998). Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood. Random House.

Gilmore, D. D. (1990). Manhood in the Making: Cultural Concepts of Masculinity. Yale University Press.

Parsons, T., & Bales, R. F. (1955). Family, Socialization and Interaction Process. Free Press.

Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Hazelden Publishing.

What if the feminist movement — arguably the most successful identity movement of the last 100 years — holds the roadmap for how men need to evolve today?

In this episode of A Good Length, I make the case that feminism expanded what a woman could be, while men's internal idea of manhood stayed largely unchanged. That mismatch is at the heart of the modern male identity crisis.

Drawing on Simone de Beauvoir, Betty Friedan, Richard Reeves, Andrew Huberman, Anna Machin, Jordan Peterson, and Warren Farrell, I walk through seven lessons a healthy masculinity movement can take from feminism's playbook — from expanding identity beyond provider/protector, to building brotherhood, to separating advocacy from hatred.

I also get personal: what domestic, parenting, and emotional independence actually look like for fathers, why they matter in family court, and what I learned rebuilding my own life after divorce.

This is a conversation about expanding masculinity, not erasing it. Share it with a man who needs it.

I'm Dr. Venu Bhamidi. I hope this one lands on a good length.

References:

Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. (2023). Suicide and self-harm monitoring. AIHW. https://www.aihw.gov.au/suicide-self-harm-monitoring

Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Gotham Books.

Cigna. (2020). Loneliness and the Workplace: 2020 U.S. Report. Cigna Corporation.

de Beauvoir, S. (1949). The Second Sex. Gallimard.

Farrell, W. (1993). The Myth of Male Power. Simon & Schuster.

Friedan, B. (1963). The Feminine Mystique. W. W. Norton.

Huberman, A. (2022). The Science of Emotions and Relationships. Huberman Lab Podcast.Episode 13.

Kimmel, M. (2008). Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men. HarperCollins.

Levant, R. F., & Richmond, K. (2007). A review of research on masculinity ideologies using the Male Role Norms Inventory. Journal of Men's Studies, 15(2), 130–146.

Machin, A. (2018). The Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Father. Simon & Schuster.

Perel, E. (2006). Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence. HarperCollins.

Peterson, J. B. (2018). 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos. Random House Canada.

Reeves, R. V. (2022). Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why ItMatters, and What to Do About It. Brookings Institution Press.

van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.

Australian Bureau of Statistics. (2021). How Australians Use Their Time, 2020–21. ABS. https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/people-and-communities/how-australians-use-their-time

Family Law Act 1975 (Cth), s 60CC — Factors in determining what is in a child's best interests. Federal Register of Legislation. https://www.legislation.gov.au

Machin, A. (2018). The Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Father. Simon & Schuster.

Australian Institute of Family Studies. (2023). Families Then and Now: Parenting. AIFS. https://aifs.gov.au

🎙 A Good Length with Dr. Venu Bhamidi

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Should a Man Get Married in 2026? The honest, data-driven answer.

Every man is asking this question — in the gym, at the pub, in his own head at 2am. But almost nobody is asking it out loud. Dr. Venu Bhamidi does exactly that. In this episode of A Good Length, Dr Bhamidi unpacks the marriage question with the clarity it deserves — not with cynicism, not with romanticism, but with facts, law, and hard-won personal experience.

What you'll learn:

• Why the marriage contract changed fundamentally in 1975 — and why most men were never told
• The real Australian divorce statistics (and why the 40% figure is actually optimistic)
• Who initiates divorce — and what that means for men legally and financially
• How Australian Family Law divides assets, and why "50-50" is rarely the reality
• The 2024 custody law changes every father needs to understand
• A 5-step framework for any man genuinely considering marriage in 2026
• Why disengaged men, MGTOW, and declining marriage rates are a symptom — not the cause

Dr. Bhamidi also shares what he lost personally — and what he wishes he'd known.This isn't an anti-marriage episode. It's a pro-informed-marriage episode

#AustralianFamilyLaw #DivorceLaw #ModernMasculinity #MensMentalHealth #FamilyLawAustralia #fathers #fatherhood #BindingFinancialAgreement #FamilyLawAct #DivorcedDads #FatherhoodAcrossDistance #FatherlessAmerica #AGoodLength #DrVenuBhamidi #MensPodcast #PositiveMasculinity #ModernDating #RelationshipAdvice #MarriageAdvice #Dating2026

There is a quiet war being waged on modern masculinity — not with weapons, but through classrooms, algorithms, media narratives, and the stories young men are being told about themselves. In this episode, Dr Venu Bhamidi makes the case that masculine competence — the drive to build, protect, provide, and master your craft — is under direct cultural and institutional attack, and the data backs him up. Dr. Bhamidi examines why boys are falling behind in education, why men are dying by suicide at three to four times the rate of women, and why our public conversation keeps missing the point.

This episode covers:

• The 5 core capacities of masculine competence
• The science of precarious manhood and what happens when male identity is destabilised
• The 5 cultural mechanisms eroding male competence — and how to name them clearly
• The difference between competence-centred and resentment-centred masculinity content
• 8 grounded principles for rebuilding masculine identity under pressure
• The generational contract between older and younger men — and why it's breaking down

This is not an argument against women. It is an honest, evidence-based examination of what men need to thrive — and what happens to families, communities, and society when we fail to provide it.

🎙 A Good Length with Dr. Venu Bhamidi

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#MenMatter #MensHealth #Fatherhood #MentalHealth #MaleAdvocacy #PsychologicalSafety #Divorce #FamilyLaw #MensMentalHealth #ParentalAlienation #Masculinity #SeparatedFathers #SuicidePrevention #fatherhood #mentoo #fatherson #dadsmatter #AGoodLength #DrVenuBhamidi #fathers #mentoo #dadsandsons

References

1. Mokhwelepa, L.W., & Sumbane, G.O. (2025). Men's Mental Health Matters: The Impact of Traditional Masculinity Norms on Men's Willingness to Seek Mental Health Support. American Journal of Men's Health

2. Legewie, J., & DiPrete, T.A. (2012). SchoolContext and the Gender Gap in Educational Achievement. American Sociological Review,

3. Feldman, H.A., et al. (2002). Age Trends in Serum Testosterone in Middle-Aged Men: Longitudinal Results from the Massachusetts Male Aging Study. Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism,

4. Coleman, D., Feigelman, W., & Rosen, Z. (2020). Association of high traditional masculinity and risk of suicide death.JAMA Psychiatry

5. Glasser, N.J., et al. (2024). Male gender expressivity and diagnosis and treatment of modifiable cardiovascular diseaserisks. JAMA Network Open.

6. Rice, S. (2021). Gender norms and the mentalhealth of boys and young men. The Lancet Public Health.

7. Galdas, P.M., et al. (2025). Designing men'shealth policy: the 5R Framework. The Lancet Public Health.

8. Vandello, J.A., et al. (2008). Precarious manhood. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,

9. Bareket, O. (2025). Lost opportunities: How gendered arrangements harm men. PNAS (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences).

10. McGraw, J., et al. (2021). Masculinity and men's health service use across four social generations. Ten to Men: Australian Longitudinal Study on Male Health.

11. DiPrete, T.A., & Buchmann, C. (2013). The Rise of Women: The Growing Gender Gap in Education. Russell Sage Foundation.

Books

1. Richard Reeves — Of Boys and Men: Why theModern Male Is Struggling (2022).

2. Warren Farrell & John Gray — The Boy Crisis(2018). B

3. Connell, R.W. (2005). Masculinities, 2ndEdition

4. Robert Glover — No More Mr. Nice Guy (2003).

In this episode, Dr. Venu Bhamidi explores the growing crisis of psychological safety for men. Why do so many men remain silent about their pain? What happens when vulnerability feels dangerous? And what are the consequences for fathers, families, relationships and society when men no longer believe it is safe to tell the truth about their experiences?

Drawing on personal experience, psychological research, and broader cultural observations, this conversation examines male silence, emotional suppression, depression, addiction, suicide, fatherhood, family law, and the importance of creating spaces where men can speak honestly without fear of ridicule, dismissal, or retaliation. It is a conversation about recognising that men suffer too, and that a healthy society should be capable of holding both truths at the same time.

Openness without psychological safety feels less like vulnerability and more like exposure.

This episode examines:

• Why men often choose silence over honesty
• The hidden cost of psychological unsafety
• The link between suppressed pain, depression, addiction, anger and suicide
• Why separated fathers often feel unable to share their experiences
• The paradox of modern conversations around male vulnerability
• The false binary that says supporting men means opposing women
• How we create safer spaces for men to speak, heal and reconnect

This is not a conversation about blame. It is a conversation about understanding If this episode resonates with you, please follow the show, leave a rating, and share it with someone who may need to hear it.

🎙 A Good Length with Dr. Venu Bhamidi

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#MenMatter #MensHealth #Fatherhood #MentalHealth #MaleAdvocacy #PsychologicalSafety #Divorce #FamilyLaw #MensMentalHealth #ParentalAlienation #Masculinity #SeparatedFathers #SuicidePrevention #fatherhood #mentoo #fatherson #dadsmatter #AGoodLength #DrVenuBhamidi

Academic Reference/Citations:Addis, M. E., & Mahalik, J.R. (2003). Men, masculinity, and the contexts of help seeking. American Psychologist, 58(1), 5–14.

Australian Bureau of Statistics (2023). Causes of Death, Australia. ABS. Retrieved from abs.gov.au.

Levant, R. F., & Richmond, K. (2007). A review of research on masculinity ideologies using the male role norms inventory. The Journal of Men’s Studies, 14(2), 130–146.

Mahalik, J. R., et al. (2003). Development of the Conformity to Masculine Norms Inventory. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 4(1), 3–25.

Reeves, R. V. (2022). Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It. Brookings Institution Press.

Seidler, Z. E., et al. (2016). The role of masculinity in men’s help-seeking for depression: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 49, 106–118.

van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.

Wyllie, C., et al. (2012). Men, suicide and society: Why disadvantaged men in mid-life die by suicide. Samaritans Research Report.

Welcome to the very first episode of A Good Length.

I’m Dr. Venu Bhamidi, a Vascular Surgeon based on the Gold Coast, Australia. Im a father of two boys, and someone who has spent the last few years navigating many of the challenges that modern men face—fatherhood, relationships, separation, mental health, identity, purpose, and rebuilding after life’s setbacks.

This podcast exists to explore male advocacy, men’s health, and the skills, habits, and mindsets that help men build meaningful lives. Through honest solo episodes and conversations with experts, professionals, fathers, husbands, athletes, and everyday men, we’ll tackle the topics that shape modern masculinity.

We’ll discuss:• Men’s mental health• Fatherhood and parenting• Relationships and dating• Physical health and longevity• Purpose and identity• Family law and social issues• Leadership and resilience• Building masculine competenceIn this introductory episode, I share the personal story behind why I started this podcast, the challenges that inspired it, and the mission that drives it.Whether you’re a young man searching for direction, a father trying to be better, or simply someone who values thoughtful conversation, I hope you’ll find something here that helps.If you enjoy the episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might benefit from the conversation.

🎙️ Follow the podcast Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@AGoodLengthApple PodcastsInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/agoodlength/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61587106588205Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@a_good_length