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Relationships After Kids: Why Even Strong Couples Start Falling Apart | Shan Boodram

18.08.2026 · 1 Std. 22 Min.

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Having a baby doesn’t just change your life it can completely change your relationship. In this episode I sit down with Shan Boodram, certified sex educator and sexologist, to have an honest conversation about what really happens to love, intimacy, identity and connection after becoming parents. Shan opens up about reaching a point eight months after having her first child where she genuinely questioned whether her marriage would survive. We unpack why the first year can put enormous pressure on couples, how resentment builds when parenting starts to feel transactional, and why both mothers and fathers can experience profound identity shifts after having children. We also talk about mum guilt, maintaining your career after motherhood, navigating judgement from other parents, sharing the mental load, keeping intimacy alive when you're exhausted, and why sometimes saving your relationship means creating an entirely new relationship with the same person. If you're pregnant, already a parent, questioning whether you want children, or simply want to understand how relationships evolve through major life transitions, this episode is for you. In this episode, we discuss: • How motherhood and fatherhood change your identity • Matrescence and patrescence • Why the first year after having a baby can be so difficult for couples • The invisible pressures placed on mothers • Mum guilt and choosing to continue your career • How unequal parenting creates resentment • Why fathers need emotional support too • Maintaining sex and intimacy after children • Sleeping separately without losing connection • Why choosing not to have children isn't selfish • How to rebuild a relationship that's struggling • Protecting the parts of yourself you don't want motherhood to erase
matrescence, patrescence, postpartum relationships, intimacy after baby, mum guilt, working mothers, parenting relationships, relationship advice, motherhood identity, maintaining intimacy, parenting resentment, modern motherhood💛 🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast ✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

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