Why aren’t men making effort in dating RN?

We all know that dating is in the pits RN — we’re burned out from the apps, frustrated by convos that go nowhere, and tired of bad first dates. Too often, it feels like we’re giving a lot and getting, well, not much back. 

Lately, this feels especially true for those of us who date men. You’ve only got to look at this season of Love Island to see the serious lack of effort the boys are putting into — in villa terms — grafting the girls, and we’re seeing this IRL too. From lazy dates and slow replies to a serious dearth of question-asking, we’re enduring an epidemic of low-effort men. Ringing true for you?

This week, Millie and Clare are asking why men seem to be making such little effort in dating right now. Is it really gendered, or just a general modern dating thing? And, either way, what the hell can we do about it?

Comment on the episode or on our socials @CosmopolitanUK with your opinions. Plus, got another topic you’d like Millie and Clare to dive into? Let us know… we’re providing a public service here, people!

Thanks to this week’s expert, dating and relationship coach Kate Mansfield.

Hosts: Millie Court and Clare Stephenson

Co-host: Amy May Ellis

Executive Producer and Cosmopolitan Editor-in-Chief: Claire Hodgson

Executive Producer: Will Foster

Senior Producer and Cosmopolitan Sex & Relationships Editor: Brit Dawson

Producer: Ruth Holroyd

Video Editor: Will Hewitt