Lucas Oakeley: Why I Wrote a Rom Com About Grief

Lucas Oakeley is the author of Nearly Departed, a debut novel about a man navigating grief and love three years after losing someone close — a rom com that somehow manages to be genuinely funny. He's also the co-founder of Boys Book Club, a community built around the radical idea that men can just read books for pleasure, and a journalist whose bylines span Vogue, GQ, and Esquire. In this episode, he joins Freya to talk about the writer he always wanted to be versus the writer he actually is, and why those two things aren't always the same.

They discuss what it means to write emotionally open fiction from a male perspective — and why an early agent told him nobody would want to read a rom com written by a man. Lucas talks about writing grief that's "fuzzy rather than sharp": the kind that happens three years on, when the emails still need answering and rent still needs paying. He and Freya also get into the strange intimacy of writing characters who are, essentially, all versions of yourself; what Boys Book Club is really for (it's not a men's mental health initiative); the moment he knew his book was real — a stranger in a falafel queue; and why social media is basically professional wrestling.

A warm, funny, honest conversation about finding your voice, learning to let go of the book you thought you were going to write, and the small happy ending Lucas is currently hoping for.

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📘 Nearly Departed by Lucas Oakeley

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