Embracing Intensity

1. 299: Celebrating 10 Years of Embracing Intensity: What Does Embracing Intensity Mean to You?

   18.10.202627 Min.Als Nächstes

   Ten years of the Embracing Intensity podcast! When I first started sharing conversations about giftedness, intensity, creativity, and twice-exceptionality, I couldn't have imagined all the people I would …

   Shownotes

   Ten years of the Embracing Intensity podcast! When I first started sharing conversations about giftedness, intensity, creativity, and twice-exceptionality, I couldn't have imagined all the people I would connect with along the way.

   For this special 10th anniversary episode, I decided to revisit a question I've asked listeners, past guests, friends, and community members at previous podcast milestones:

   What does embracing intensity mean to you?

   The responses reflect just how differently we experience and understand intensity. For some, it's about finally recognizing that the way their brain works makes sense. For others, it's about self-acceptance, finding spaces where they can be themselves, learning to honor their need for rest, or discovering how to channel their creative energy.

   One of my favorite things about hosting this podcast has always been how the same question can lead to completely different conversations. Over the years, those conversations have helped me build friendships, deepen my own understanding of neurodivergence, and create a community that extends far beyond the podcast itself.

   In this anniversary episode, I'm sharing new reflections alongside a few favorites from earlier celebrations. We hear from people who've been part of Embracing Intensity since before the podcast began, guests who've contributed their expertise to community calls, and friends I've connected with both online and in person.

   It's also an opportunity to remember how our relationships with intensity can change over time, and how much it matters to have people around us who understand and appreciate the ways we're different.

   In This Episode:

   • Celebrating 10 years of the Embracing Intensity podcast and the community that has grown around it

   • Revisiting the question, "What does embracing intensity mean to you?"

   • How learning about giftedness, ADHD, and twice-exceptionality can change the way we understand ourselves

   • Giving ourselves permission to rest and recover after social and creative activities

   • Finding organizational tools and systems that work with our individual brains

   • Recognizing that neurodivergent people can share similar challenges while having very different needs and experiences

   • Looking at intense emotions and behaviors with curiosity and compassion

   • Finding the courage to show up as our authentic selves

   • Understanding the exhaustion that can come from continually toning down our thoughts, emotions, and responses

   • The value of self-acceptance and finding a sense of purpose

   • Honoring multiple interests, ambitions, and responsibilities without pushing ourselves to exhaustion

   • Creating community where people feel welcome to bring their full selves

   • The role of friendship and personal connection in building a supportive neurodivergent community

   • How online relationships can develop into meaningful friendships across geographic distances

   • Raising awareness and acceptance of giftedness and different ways of thinking

   • Recognizing intensity as something dynamic that involves our emotions, bodies, environments, and needs

   • Finding environments where our intensity is genuinely valued and encouraged

   • The experience of discovering a podcast or community that finally puts words to something we've felt our entire lives

   • Remembering community members whose contributions continue to have an impact

   • Reflecting on how the podcast and community have remained meaningful through personal changes, burnout, and shifting priorities

   Ten Years of Befriending Our Brains

   One of the themes that comes through in these reflections is how much can change when we begin to understand our own needs.

   Lana has been part of my work since the early Ignite Your Power groups, before the podcast even began. She shares how learning to give herself permission to rest and experimenting with different organizational tools helped her build systems that work for her brain.

   My mom, Linda Horton, shares how learning about twice-exceptionality has influenced our family across generations. Even my grandmother, who is now 100, was able to reconsider a lifelong belief that she had been lazy after learning more about ADHD traits.

   Mathias offers another perspective on self-understanding: looking at the parts of ourselves that seem difficult and asking what those feelings, behaviors, or thought patterns might be trying to accomplish.

   These reflections capture something I've returned to throughout the podcast: the value of approaching our own brains with curiosity and finding practical ways to support ourselves.

   Finding Community Where We Can Be Ourselves

   Another major theme is the importance of finding people and environments where we can express ourselves more freely.

   Nneka Denise talks about bringing our fullest, most authentic selves into community and how our different experiences and perspectives make those communities stronger.

   Cosette Coco Leary reflects on finding a space where she could celebrate her voice and explore her own self-acceptance. Rukshana Trim shares her appreciation for the many different backgrounds, talents, and stories represented throughout the podcast's history.

   Boonie reminds us that our worth isn't determined by whether other people recognize or accept our intensity.

   Alice offers a particularly meaningful perspective on finding environments where our intensity is welcomed, valued, and encouraged.

   And Brendan Mahan reflects on both the awareness the podcast has helped build around giftedness and the friendship we've developed over the years.

   These connections are a big part of why I've continued doing this work. Some began through podcast interviews or online networking, others through community calls, and many have grown into friendships that extend well beyond our original conversations.

   Embracing Our Creativity, Capacity, and Needs

   Several contributors reflect on the relationship between intensity and the ways we choose to spend our energy.

   Madeline shares what it means to care deeply about motherhood while also wanting independence, meaningful work, and opportunities to grow. She's learning to honor those different desires without feeling obligated to pursue every idea or exhaust herself in the process.

   Gina describes the energy involved in continually moderating quick thoughts and emotional responses, and the relief of recognizing why she needs rest. She also shares how the tools and resources from Embracing Intensity have supported her work with students.

   Dr. Kimberly Douglas brings another dimension to the conversation, describing intensity as dynamic and inviting us to pay attention to what our minds, hearts, and bodies are communicating.

   Boonie reflects on honoring the curiosity and playfulness of our younger selves and finding ways to express those parts of ourselves now.

   Leah K. Walsh reflects on intensity as creative life force and the importance of compassion toward difference and possibility.

   Together, these perspectives show how embracing intensity can involve both expressing our energy and recognizing what we need to sustain it.

   The Power of Recognition and Belonging

   For this episode, I also revisited a reflection from Angel, who originally shared her experience for an earlier anniversary celebration.

   She describes discovering the podcast and hearing people talk about experiences that felt deeply familiar, even though she had rarely shared those experiences with anyone herself.

   That feeling of recognition is something I've heard from many listeners over the years. Learning that other people experience similar patterns of thought, emotion, curiosity, and sensitivity can open up new ways of understanding ourselves.

   Boonie also speaks to the importance of finding spaces where our emotional depth and authentic expression are welcomed, while remembering that our value doesn't depend on others' acceptance.

   Mark, a newer member of the community, shares how the podcast, workbooks, and monthly calls have helped him connect with others while reflecting on his own giftedness and self-care.

   The range of experiences represented in this episode reminds me that community can be meaningful in different ways at different points in our lives.

   Remembering Javaughn Fernanders

   I wanted to close this anniversary episode by revisiting the words of Javaughn Fernanders, a friend and community member who recently passed away from cancer.

   Javaughn shared a reflection for a previous anniversary episode about learning to nurture her intensity and invest in the creative energy it brought into her life.

   After her passing, a family friend reached out looking for the recording she had shared with our community.

   Being able to revisit her words for this anniversary is especially meaningful. It's a reminder that the stories we share and the connections we make can continue to matter long after the original conversation.

   Voices Featured in This Anniversary Episode

   Thank you to everyone who contributed new reflections or whose words were revisited from previous anniversary episodes.

   Names are listed below so I can add full names and relevant links.

   • Lana Quackenbush — longtime friend and Ignite Your Power community member

   • Linda Horton — my mom and longtime community call participant

   • Mathias Quackenbush — community member and previous anniversary contributor

   • Sarah McCarthy — friend and past intuitive tarot workshop facilitator

   • Gina Terwillager Mercado — friend, editor, and tutor

   • Nneka Denise — writer, theater artist, and Writing to Heal guest speaker

   • Cosette "Coco" Leary — author of From Welfare to the White House and community guest speaker

   • Rukshana Triem — past podcast guest and community builder

   • Madeline Roosevelt Defuria — past podcast guest and multipotentialite

   • Leah K. Walsh — coach and previous anniversary contributor

   • Brendan Mahan — host of ADHD Essentials and author of Overcoming the Wall of Awful

   • Mark Williams — Embracing Intensity community member

   • Dr. Kimberly Douglas — educator and guest speaker on decolonizing neurodivergence and owning your worth

   • Boontarika Sripom — giftedness and mental health advocate and past guest speaker on the power of play

   • Alice Betton — community member and past guest speaker on intuitive flow

   • Angel — listener and previous anniversary contributor

   • Javaughn Fernanders — artist and community member, remembered through her earlier reflection

   Continuing the Embracing Intensity Community

   Over the past decade, Embracing Intensity has evolved through different projects, programs, collaborations, and community spaces.

   I've also gone through plenty of changes myself, including navigating burnout, returning to full-time work in schools, and finding new ways to balance my energy and interests.

   Through all of that, I keep coming back to the connections I've made through this work and the value of having a community where gifted, creative, neurodivergent, and twice-exceptional people can learn from one another.

   Thank you to everyone who has listened, shared their stories, joined our calls, contributed their expertise, or helped make this community what it is over the past ten years.

   Resources

   • Embracing Intensity

   • Embracing Intensity Community and Guest Call Library

   • Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity — free self-regulation workbook

   • Previous 5th anniversary episode

   • ADHD Essentials with Brendan Mahan

   • Overcoming the Wall of Awful by Brendan Mahan

   • From Welfare to the White House by Cosette Coco Leary

2. 298: Using Your Creative Fire with Angel Ocasio

   29.09.202645 Min.Als Nächstes

   What can a lifetime in comedy teach us about creativity, connection, and using our intensity? In this episode of Embracing Intensity, I talk with longtime friend, performer, and comedy teacher Angel Ocasio …

   Shownotes

   What can a lifetime in comedy teach us about creativity, connection, and using our intensity?

   In this episode of Embracing Intensity, I talk with longtime friend, performer, and comedy teacher Angel Ocasio about his more than 40 years in physical comedy and clowning. Angel shares how an early love of comedy grew into a career in performance and teaching, and what he's learned along the way about creativity, experimentation, connecting with an audience, and finding your own way of doing things.

   We also talk about having many different creative interests, learning from things that don't work, slowing down enough to notice what's happening around you, and bringing your own personality and experiences into your creative work instead of trying to perform like someone else.

   Angel will also be joining the Embracing Intensity community for our upcoming call, Finding Humor in the Mundane, where we'll explore more of how he finds comedy in everyday experiences.

   About Angel Ocasio

   Angel Ocasio is a physical comedian, clown, comedy educator, and entertainer who has been performing professionally for more than four decades.

   His path into professional comedy included clown workshops and attending Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Clown College in the class of 1984. He later spent 20 years with the Portland Rose Festival, including many years as its official mascot, the Clown Prince. During that time, he developed and taught a clown program that brought more than 200 people through training and performance.

   Beyond comedy, Angel has a wide range of creative interests, including music, writing, poetry, and storytelling. His approach to performance centers on being real, approachable, and present with an audience, and creating connection rather than simply trying to impress people. Angel Angel

   In This Episode:

   • How watching classic comedians like Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, and the Three Stooges influenced Angel's love of comedy
   • Angel's journey from taking a clown workshop to attending Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Clown College
   • What more than 40 years of performing has taught him about connecting with an audience
   • Growing up in a passionate Puerto Rican family and the influence of his grandmother's humor
   • Finding comedy in ordinary moments and experiences people immediately recognize
   • Why slowing an everyday action down can reveal the humor already inside it
   • The importance of reading an audience and recognizing when it's time to move on
   • Treating an idea that doesn't work as information rather than simply as failure
   • Angel's many interests in comedy, music, writing, teaching, and performance
   • The challenge of wanting to pursue many creative paths
   • Taking your craft seriously without taking yourself too seriously
   • Why nervousness before a performance can be a sign that you care about what you're doing
   • Learning to wait, breathe, and trust that the audience is with you
   • How rushing can keep other people from having enough time to understand what you're trying to communicate
   • Finding inspiration by observing the people and moments around you
   • The advice to "be interested, not interesting"
   • Why technical skill alone doesn't necessarily create connection
   • Bringing yourself into your creative work instead of trying to imitate someone else
   • How Angel helps students draw on their own personalities, histories, and experiences
   • Using improvisation and physical comedy to build connection and teamwork
   • Why live, person-to-person experiences still matter
   • Remembering that an audience generally wants you to succeed Angel

   Creativity, Experimentation, and Learning What Works

   One of my favorite ideas from this conversation is Angel's perspective on things that don't work.

   Creative work involves experimenting. Sometimes an idea gets the response you hoped for, and sometimes it doesn't. After decades of performing, Angel has learned to pay attention to those responses and adjust.

   As he puts it, doing something that doesn't work means you've learned something. You can take what happened, figure out what you might do differently, and bring that information into the next attempt.

   That perspective leaves room for experimentation without requiring every attempt to succeed. It also connects with Angel's experience teaching new performers: developing your craft means learning to slow down, trust the process, notice what's happening, and give yourself enough experience to discover what works for you. Angel

   Many Interests and a Creative Life

   Angel's creativity has never been limited to comedy. Throughout his life he's been drawn to music, writing, poetry, teaching, acting, and other possibilities.

   We talk about the experience of having many things you're interested in and the feeling that you might have been able to master one particular thing if you'd focused exclusively on it. At the same time, those different interests have all become part of Angel's creative life.

   Comedy eventually became the work he made a living from, but his interest in writing and music never disappeared. That range of interests gives us another way to think about creativity—not only as a particular skill or career, but as something that can find expression through many different parts of our lives. Angel

   Taking the Work Seriously Without Taking Yourself Too Seriously

   For Angel, comedy requires genuinely believing in what you're doing. Even something as simple as dropping an object becomes real within the world of the performance.

   At the same time, taking the craft seriously doesn't require taking yourself seriously.

   Angel talks about the patience involved in learning to perform: waiting for the audience, allowing a moment to develop, breathing through nervousness, and trusting that the people watching are willing to come along with you.

   When performers rush because they already know where a routine is going, the audience may not have enough time to follow. Slowing down creates room for people to see what's happening and become part of the moment. Angel

   Be Interested, Not Interesting

   One piece of advice that has stayed with Angel throughout his career is to "be interested, not interesting."

   For him, that means becoming genuinely invested in what you're doing rather than concentrating on how impressive you appear.

   He shares the example of a talented juggler whose technical skills were impressive but didn't initially feel funny. Years later, Angel saw the same performer again and found himself laughing because the performance had become more connected, alive, and personal.

   Angel encourages the people he teaches to bring their own history and personality into their work. You can learn from the people who came before you without trying to become them.

   Finding Inspiration in Everyday Life

   Angel has built much of his comedy around moments most of us would normally overlook.

   Drop your keys once and it's an ordinary inconvenience. Drop them again, slow down, look at them, and wonder what just happened, and suddenly there's the beginning of a comedy routine.

   That attention extends beyond performance. Angel talks about observing people throughout his life and remembering small interactions that reveal something funny, recognizable, or deeply human. Rather than constantly searching for something extraordinary, he pays attention to what's already happening around him.

   We'll explore more of this in Angel's upcoming Embracing Intensity community call, Finding Humor in the Mundane.

   Helping Others Find Their Own Creative Voice

   Teaching has become an important part of Angel's work. During his years with the Portland Rose Festival, he helped train more than 200 people through the clown program he developed.

   Many of those participants already had careers in completely different fields. Angel's goal wasn't to teach them to imitate famous clowns or put on a costume and become someone else. He encouraged them to draw from their own personalities, experiences, histories, and strengths.

   He brings that same approach to workshops with performers, organizations, and people who simply want to explore comedy. Improvisation, physical comedy, and play become ways to experiment, connect with other people, and discover something about how you naturally express yourself.

   Celebrating 10 Years of Embracing Intensity

   October marks the 10-year anniversary of the Embracing Intensity podcast, and I'm gathering voices from listeners, community members, friends, and past guests for a special anniversary episode.

   I'd love to hear your answer to the question:

   What does embracing intensity mean to you?

   If you'd like to be part of the anniversary episode, send me a recording or video sharing what Embracing Intensity has meant to you or how your relationship with your own intensity has changed over the years.

   Resources

   • Angel Ocasio: ocomedy.com
   • Angel Ocasio: angelocasio.com
   • Embracing Intensity Community: www.community.embracingintensity.com
   • Upcoming community call: Finding Humor in the Mundane with Angel Ocasio

3. 297: Overcoming the Wall of Awful w/ Brendan Mahan

   01.09.202655 Min.Als Nächstes

   Sometimes knowing exactly what you need to do doesn't make it any easier to actually do it. If you have ADHD, anxiety, or another neurodivergence, you may be familiar with the experience of looking at a task …

   Shownotes

   Sometimes knowing exactly what you need to do doesn't make it any easier to actually do it.

   If you have ADHD, anxiety, or another neurodivergence, you may be familiar with the experience of looking at a task that should be relatively simple and finding yourself completely unable to start. The longer it sits there, the more emotions build around it—frustration, disappointment, guilt, anxiety, and eventually shame.

   Brendan Mahan calls that emotional barrier the Wall of Awful.

   In this special bonus episode of Embracing Intensity, Brendan joins our community to celebrate the release of his new book, Overcoming the Wall of Awful: Why It's Hard to Get Things Done with ADHD, Autism, and Anxiety, and How to Do Them Anyway.

   We explore what the Wall of Awful actually is, the ways we try to get around it, and why some of our most familiar strategies may get us moving while creating other problems along the way. Brendan also shares some of the ideas he expands on in the book, including active and passive climbing, nervous system regulation, anxiety, rejection sensitivity, and why asking for help can have such a high barrier to entry.

   Our community brought their own experiences into the conversation, particularly around guilt, shame, asking for help, and the tendency to assume we're a burden before giving someone else the opportunity to decide whether they have the capacity to help.

   About Brendan Mahan

   Brendan Mahan is an ADHD coach, educator, speaker, and host of the ADHD Essentials Podcast. Before moving into ADHD support and education, he spent about a decade working in schools in roles ranging from special education teacher to interim principal.

   Brendan created the concept of the Wall of Awful to describe the emotional barriers that can make it difficult for people with ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence to initiate tasks. His new book, Overcoming the Wall of Awful, expands on the concept with practical strategies for understanding those emotional barriers and finding more sustainable ways through them.

   Brendan is also involved with Calmer Con Boston, a sensory-sensitive comic book and pop culture convention designed to be more accessible to people with autism, ADHD, anxiety, and other needs.

   In This Episode:

   • What the Wall of Awful is and how emotions accumulate around tasks we struggle to start

   • How disappointment, guilt, shame, rejection, and isolation can become "bricks" in our walls

   • The five ways we respond to the Wall of Awful: staring at it, going around it, smashing it, climbing it, or putting a door in it

   • How staring, going around, and smashing relate to freeze, flight, and fight responses

   • Why anxiety and anger can get us through the wall while taking a toll on ourselves or our relationships

   • How climbing the wall involves accepting the task, our emotions, or both before we can move toward action

   • The difference between active climbing and passive climbing

   • How smartphones and constant stimulation can interfere with the quiet mental processing that helps us work through emotions

   • Using music, nature, movement, and "soft fascination" to give our brains space to process

   • Why nervous system regulation sometimes means activating ourselves and sometimes means soothing ourselves

   • The difference between guilt ("I made a mistake") and shame ("I am the mistake")

   • Giving ourselves permission to have ADHD, autism, anxiety, giftedness, or other differences without turning our struggles into character judgments

   • Why asking for help can have such a high upfront cost for neurodivergent people

   • How we sometimes choose a harder task because it has a lower barrier to entry

   • Figuring out whether difficulty asking for help comes from control, trust, overwhelm, rejection sensitivity, or not knowing what kind of help we need

   • How breaking a task apart can allow someone else to take even a small portion off our plate

   • The idea that letting other people help us can also mean letting them love us

   • Why we may undervalue what we offer others while overvaluing what they do for us

   • How sensitivity to other people's needs can lead us to decide for them that our request is "too much"

   • The connection between rejection sensitivity and avoiding the vulnerability of asking

   • Ask culture, guess culture, and how our communication backgrounds shape our comfort with making direct requests

   • Why the person receiving help gets to determine the value of what we gave them

   • Looking at failure more realistically instead of treating every mistake as catastrophic

   • How rejection sensitivity can make a small mistake feel like "failing the class" when we really just missed one question on a quiz

   • What Brendan added to the book beyond his original Wall of Awful videos

   • Why change, relapse into old patterns, forgiveness, systems, habits, and planning are all part of getting past our walls

   Getting Past the Wall

   Brendan describes five basic responses to the Wall of Awful. We can stare at it, go around it, smash through it, climb it, or put a door in it.

   Staring, going around, and smashing map closely to our stress responses of freeze, flight, and fight. Smashing can work—we may use anxiety, anger, pressure, or harsh self-talk to force ourselves into action—but getting something done doesn't necessarily mean the strategy was sustainable.

   Climbing and putting a door in the wall offer other possibilities. Climbing involves working through and accepting what's happening internally until we're able to move forward. Putting a door in the wall means changing our emotional state so that the task becomes more accessible. Music, movement, body doubling, changing environments, or spending time with supportive people can all potentially create that shift.

   Active and Passive Climbing

   One of the ideas Brendan expands on in the book is the distinction between active and passive climbing.

   Active climbing includes intentionally working through the task and the feelings surrounding it, using strategies to make initiation easier, or creating something concrete that helps you engage.

   Passive climbing happens when we give our brains enough space to process in the background. Going for a walk, standing in line without reaching for your phone, listening to music, spending time near water, or engaging with something gently interesting can give the brain room to process emotions, learning, and ideas without demanding our full attention.

   For neurodivergent people who are also prone to rumination, that mental space may need some direction. Brendan talks about using music, nature, and other forms of soft fascination to help steer the mind without overwhelming it.

   Asking for Help

   Asking for help sounds simple until you consider everything that may have to happen first. You have to recognize that you need help, figure out what kind of help you need, determine who might be able to provide it, explain what needs to be done, and tolerate the possibility that they might say no.

   Sometimes doing everything ourselves feels easier simply because it has a lower barrier to entry.

   We talk about the role of trust, control, rejection sensitivity, and fear of being a burden, as well as the possibility that other people may genuinely want to help. Brendan shares a reframe he's been working with himself: when helping others is one of the ways you show love, refusing to let anyone help you can also mean refusing to let them show their love for you.

   About Overcoming the Wall of Awful

   Brendan's book goes far beyond the original Wall of Awful concept many people first encountered through his videos with Jessica McCabe of How to ADHD.

   The book explores the Wall itself, anxiety and the resources and skills we use to solve problems, and then digs deeper into the different ways we try to get past the Wall. Brendan devotes additional attention to climbing, including the new concept of passive climbing, before moving into change, systems, habits, self-forgiveness, and planning.

   The book is designed to be practical and approachable, with chapter summaries, action steps, mascots for key concepts, and appendices and worksheets that readers can return to when they're facing their own Wall of Awful.

   Resources:

   • Overcoming the Wall of Awful: Why It's Hard to Get Things Done with ADHD, Autism, and Anxiety, and How to Do Them Anyway by Brendan Mahan

   • ADHD Essentials Podcast

   • Brendan Mahan's Wall of Awful videos with Jessica McCabe of How to ADHD

   • Learn more about Shane

   • Join the Embracing Intensity Community for access to the full Guest Call Library

   Transkript

4. 296: Owning Your Worth with Dr. Kimberly Douglass

   21.07.202634 Min.Als Nächstes

   What does it really mean to own your worth—especially when you're gifted, neurodivergent, or someone who genuinely wants to make a difference in the world? In this episode of Embracing Intensity, I'm joined …

   Shownotes

   What does it really mean to own your worth—especially when you're gifted, neurodivergent, or someone who genuinely wants to make a difference in the world?

   In this episode of Embracing Intensity, I'm joined once again by the insightful Dr. Kimberly Douglas for a conversation that begins with pricing and entrepreneurship but quickly expands into something much bigger. We explore the difference between what we're capable of and what we actually have the capacity for, why so many of us undervalue our time and energy, and how shifting our focus from ourselves to the people we're trying to serve can change everything.

   Although much of Kimberly's work is with entrepreneurs, this conversation is relevant whether you're running a business, navigating a career, or simply learning to honor your own energy and contributions. It's a thoughtful discussion about sustainability, self-worth, and building a life around impact rather than expectations.

   About Dr. Kimberly Douglas

   Dr. Kimberly Douglas is a strategist, educator, and former university professor who helps purpose-driven entrepreneurs build sustainable businesses through pricing strategy, systems thinking, and decolonizing traditional approaches to entrepreneurship. Drawing on her background in higher education and research, Kimberly combines practical business guidance with a deep understanding of neurodivergence, capacity, and the realities of creating meaningful work without sacrificing your well-being.

   In This Episode

   • The critical difference between capability and capacity—and why confusing the two leads to burnout
   • Why owning your worth is about more than setting a price for your work
   • How gifted and neurodivergent people often overestimate what they can sustainably take on
   • The hidden costs of trying to do everything yourself
   • Why understanding your ideal client makes sales feel more authentic and less personal
   • How rejection sensitivity can make pricing and self-promotion especially difficult
   • Why friends and family make wonderful supporters—but often poor long-term customers
   • Building a business around relationships instead of algorithms
   • The value of collecting meaningful feedback instead of relying on false metrics
   • How to think about bartering, collaboration, and community support in sustainable ways
   • Why asking for help is part of honoring your capacity

   Key Topics Capability Isn't the Same as Capacity

   One of Kimberly's most powerful insights is the distinction between capability and capacity. Many gifted and neurodivergent people are incredibly capable of learning new skills, solving complex problems, and taking on ambitious projects. That doesn't mean we have the physical, emotional, or mental capacity to do all of those things at once. Recognizing that difference can help us make more sustainable choices and avoid paying for our ambitions with our health.

   Understanding the True Cost of Your Work

   Whether you're running a business or managing a demanding career, Kimberly encourages us to think beyond financial costs. Every commitment requires energy, attention, and bandwidth. Pricing your work—or deciding where to invest your time—means accounting for those invisible costs as well as the hours involved.

   Shifting the Focus Away From Yourself

   For many entrepreneurs, pricing feels deeply personal. Kimberly offers a refreshing perspective: the conversation isn't really about you. It's about understanding the people you're trying to help. By learning what your ideal clients actually need, value, and struggle with, selling becomes less about overcoming rejection and more about solving meaningful problems.

   Building Community Instead of Going It Alone

   Rather than expecting friends and family to become customers, Kimberly suggests thinking about the many other ways they can support your work. Whether it's childcare, encouragement, meal prep, brainstorming, or simply believing in your vision, sustainable businesses are rarely built in isolation. She also shares thoughtful guidance on bartering, collaboration, and recognizing where outside support can strengthen your work.

   Resources & Links

   • Learn more about Dr. Kimberly Douglass on Linkedin
   • Precision Pricing Infographic
   • Join the Embracing Intensity Community
   • Brendan Mahan's guest call on Overcoming the Wall of Awful
   • Summer Camp Scavenger Hunt

   This conversation is a reminder that owning your worth isn't about doing more or proving yourself. It's about recognizing your unique strengths, honoring your limits, and building systems that allow you to make the impact you're here to make—without sacrificing yourself in the process.

   Transkript

5. 295: Thriving as a Twice-Exceptional Adult w/ Melanie Hayes

   09.06.202633 Min.Als Nächstes

   What does it mean to thrive as a twice-exceptional adult in a world that often misunderstands both giftedness and neurodivergence? In this episode of Embracing Intensity, I'm joined by author, therapist, and …

   Shownotes

   What does it mean to thrive as a twice-exceptional adult in a world that often misunderstands both giftedness and neurodivergence?

   In this episode of Embracing Intensity, I'm joined by author, therapist, and educator Melanie Hayes for a wide-ranging discussion on the unique challenges and strengths of twice-exceptional (2e) adults. Although this conversation was originally recorded several years ago as a guest call for the community, it feels even more relevant today as conversations around burnout, masking, trauma, and neurodivergence continue to evolve.

   As I revisited this conversation, I was struck by how much it reflected where I was at the beginning of my own burnout recovery journey—and how many of the themes still resonate today. We explore everything from school trauma and imposter syndrome to chronic illness, community, and what it takes to build a life that actually works for your brain.

   About Melanie Hayes

   Melanie Hayes is a marriage and family therapist, educator, author, and founder of Big Minds, a school designed specifically for twice-exceptional learners. For more than 30 years, she has worked to challenge traditional approaches to education and mental health by helping neurodivergent individuals embrace radical self-acceptance and build environments that support their strengths.

   She is the author of Being Twice Exceptional and We Tried Normal, and her work focuses on helping gifted and neurodivergent people understand themselves more deeply and create lives aligned with who they truly are.

   In This Episode

   • Why complex trauma is so common among gifted and twice-exceptional individuals

   • The impact of chronic stress, sensory overwhelm, and school environments on neurodivergent children and adults

   • How attachment wounds and feeling misunderstood can shape self-image and relationships

   • The connection between masking, burnout, chronic illness, and autoimmune disorders

   • Why profoundly gifted and twice-exceptional people often struggle with imposter syndrome

   • The importance of mirroring, validation, and finding people who truly "get" you

   • How giftedness and neurodivergence can make traditional workplaces especially challenging

   • Practical ideas for accommodations and creating work environments that support your needs

   • Strategies for managing anxiety, rumination, and nervous system overwhelm

   • The role of community in healing from shame and embracing authenticity

   • Why being "well-adjusted" to an unhealthy system may not be the goal

   Key Topics Explored The Hidden Trauma of Being Twice Exceptional

   Melanie discusses how many twice-exceptional individuals experience ongoing stress throughout childhood—from sensory overwhelm and social exclusion to environments that constantly communicate that they are "too much" or "not enough." These experiences can accumulate into complex trauma that often goes unrecognized.

   School Trauma and the Cost of Fitting In

   We talk about how school can become one of the greatest sources of trauma for gifted and neurodivergent individuals. Even with supportive families, many students receive constant messages that they need to suppress their natural ways of thinking, learning, and interacting in order to succeed.

   Imposter Syndrome and the Lack of Validation

   When your strengths are overlooked and your challenges are constantly highlighted, it becomes difficult to trust your own abilities. Melanie explores why imposter syndrome is so prevalent among gifted and twice-exceptional adults and how a lack of mirroring and validation contributes to lifelong self-doubt.

   Burnout, Masking, and Chronic Illness

   One of the most powerful parts of this conversation centers on the long-term costs of masking. Many neurodivergent adults spend years trying to fit into environments that aren't designed for them, often at significant physical, emotional, and mental expense. We discuss how burnout can show up as exhaustion, anxiety, health challenges, and chronic illness.

   Finding Community and Radical Self-Acceptance

   Throughout the conversation, Melanie returns to the importance of self-acceptance and community. Healing often begins when we stop trying to become someone else and start surrounding ourselves with people who recognize our differences as strengths rather than deficits.

   Resources & Links

   • Melanie Hayes' book: Being Twice Exceptional

   • Join the Embracing Intensity Community

   As Melanie reminds us, thriving as a twice-exceptional adult isn't about becoming less intense, less sensitive, or more "normal." It's about understanding yourself, finding the right supports, and creating a life where your differences can become strengths rather than sources of shame.

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6. 294: Nervous System Regulation w/ Juliana Allen

   06.05.202628 Min.Als Nächstes

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7. 293: Ways to Recharge When You Can't Quit Your Day Job

   23.03.202632 Min.Als Nächstes

   Not all rest actually restores. Sometimes it just delays the crash. In this solo episode of Embracing Intensity, I talk about what shifted for me when I went back to working full-time in schools, and why having …

   Shownotes

   Not all rest actually restores. Sometimes it just delays the crash.

   In this solo episode of Embracing Intensity, I talk about what shifted for me when I went back to working full-time in schools, and why having less free time pushed me to get more intentional about how I use my energy.

   I used to focus a lot on trying to do the "right" things—eat better, exercise more, use my time more efficiently—but I kept ending up exhausted anyway. What started to change things was paying closer attention to what actually gave me energy versus what drained it.

   This episode is where I walk through that shift and share the RECHARGE framework I've been using—looking at energy across physical, mental, emotional, social, and connection areas. It's less about fixing everything and more about noticing patterns and making small adjustments that actually stick.

   About Aurora

   Aurora Remember Holtzman is a neurodivergent educator, coach, and host of the Embracing Intensity podcast. She supports gifted, creative, and outside-the-box thinkers in understanding their energy, working with their nervous systems, and building more sustainable ways of living and creating.

   In This Episode

   • Why some kinds of "rest" don't leave you feeling any better
   • What changed when I stopped focusing on time and started looking at energy
   • The idea of "contaminated time" and why it feels so unsatisfying
   • How I've been approaching burnout differently this year
   • The five areas of energy and how they show up in daily life
   • Small ways to shift your energy without overhauling everything
   • Why play, curiosity, and creativity matter more than we think
   • How alignment in your environment and relationships affects your energy

   The Five Areas of Energy

   This episode looks at five different areas that all impact how recharged (or depleted) you feel. You don't need to overhaul all of them—just noticing where something feels off can be enough to start.

   Physical Energy

   This includes the obvious things like sleep and movement, but also how your body feels in your environment and routines. Small shifts—like changing positions, stepping outside, or actually finishing a task you've been avoiding—can make a noticeable difference.

   Mental Energy

   The way your brain is engaged matters. Too much stimulation can be overwhelming, but too little can leave you stuck. Play, challenge, and creative thinking can all help shift your energy in ways that feel more engaging.

   Emotional Energy

   Emotional fatigue doesn't always look dramatic. Sometimes it shows up as irritability, numbness, or just feeling off. Letting yourself process things—through expression, movement, or even just naming what's there—can ease that buildup.

   Social Energy

   Some interactions leave you feeling more like yourself, and some leave you drained. This section looks at things like masking, belonging, solitude, and what it feels like to be around people where you don't have to explain yourself.

   Connection Energy

   Even when you've rested, you can still feel disconnected. This area looks at things like purpose, ritual, time in nature, and moments that help you feel part of something beyond your day-to-day tasks.

   Resources & Links

   • RECHARGE Toolkit (7-day challenge)
   • Embracing Intensity Community

8. 292: Increasing Capacity & Reclaiming the Body with Juliana Allen

   23.02.202631 Min.Als Nächstes

   In this powerful and deeply embodied conversation, I sit down with Juliana Allen - somatic experiencing practitioner, trauma-informed guide, and founder of Reclaim with Juliana - to explore nervous system …

   Shownotes

   In this powerful and deeply embodied conversation, I sit down with Juliana Allen - somatic experiencing practitioner, trauma-informed guide, and founder of Reclaim with Juliana - to explore nervous system regulation, reclaiming your body, and increasing your capacity to live from truth instead of obligation.

   Juliana shares her journey of overriding her body for decades - through dance culture, perfectionism, an eating disorder, and even heteronormative expectations - before finally learning how to listen inward. Her story of coming out later in life during the pandemic is a powerful reminder that we don't know what we don't know - until we slow down enough to feel.

   This episode is about unlearning, grounding, increasing nervous system capacity, and reclaiming your fire in a way that doesn't burn you.

   Juliana will also be kicking off our 2026 Speaker Series inside the Embracing Intensity Community, where she'll go deeper into nervous system regulation and capacity building. I'm still welcoming feedback on the 2026 lineup - so reach out if you have requests!

   About Juliana Allen

   Juliana Allen (she/her) is a somatic experiencing practitioner in advanced training who specializes in nervous system regulation and trauma healing through the body. Through her work at Reclaim with Juliana, she helps women reconnect with their bodies, increase emotional capacity, and stop overriding their inner truth.

   Her work is grounded in lived experience - including recovery from a long-term eating disorder, coming out as a lesbian in her mid-30s, and dismantling perfectionistic conditioning rooted in ballet culture. She brings depth, honesty, and fierce compassion to the healing process.

   You can find her at:

   • Instagram: @reclaimwithjuliana

   • Website: reclaimwithjuliana.com

   In This Episode:

   • How overriding the body begins early - through school structure, dance culture, and social conditioning

   • The connection between perfectionism, eating disorders, and nervous system dysregulation

   • What it was like to come out later in life during the pandemic

   • Why many of us were never taught to know what we actually want

   • The role of somatic experiencing in trauma healing

   • Why nervous system capacity determines how much we can hold - emotionally and relationally

   • The difference between artificial regulation (like forcing calm) and true embodied regulation

   • Why grounding is essential for fiery, "windy," or ADHD-leaning personalities

   • How intensity becomes a gift once we learn how to stay with it

   • Increasing your capacity so you can better serve others - and expand impact outward

   Key Themes Reclaiming the Body

   Juliana speaks candidly about years of overriding hunger cues, emotions, sexuality, and discomfort - and how learning to "stay with" sensations changed everything.

   Nervous System Capacity

   The more regulated your nervous system, the more you can hold - for yourself and for others. Capacity expands impact.

   Intensity Isn't the Problem

   Intensity feels overwhelming when we don't know how to be with it. But when grounded and embodied, it becomes power.

   Grounding as a Daily Practice

   Especially for those who feel "airy," fiery, or scattered - grounding practices and anchors are essential.

   "The more work I do personally, the more my capacity increases. The more my capacity increases, the more I'm able to hold with other people. And then the more their capacity increases, the more they are able to do their work in the world. And it just expands."

   Resources & Links

   • Reclaim with Juliana: https://www.reclaimwithjuliana.com

   • Instagram: @reclaimwithjuliana

   • Join the Embracing Intensity Community: embracingintensity.com/community

   • Free Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity Workbook: embracingintensity.com

   If this episode resonated, consider sharing it with someone who's learning to trust their body again.

   And if nervous system regulation is something you've wanted to understand more deeply, join us in 2026 when Juliana returns to speak live inside the community.

   Intensity doesn't have to be overwhelming. With capacity, it becomes expansive.

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9. 291: Reframing ADHD for Black Women with Inger Shaye Colzie

   06.01.202648 Min.Als Nächstes

   This week on Embracing Intensity, I'm thrilled to finally sit down with the powerful and passionate Inger Shaye Colzie, a therapist and coach working at the intersection of ADHD, identity, and cultural …

   Shownotes

   This week on Embracing Intensity, I'm thrilled to finally sit down with the powerful and passionate Inger Shaye Colzie, a therapist and coach working at the intersection of ADHD, identity, and cultural experience. Inger shares her journey of being diagnosed with ADHD later in life, after decades of navigating systems and expectations that didn't see her neurodivergence—or the unique challenges that come with being a Black woman with ADHD.

   Together, we dive into her experiences growing up gifted but overlooked, her path to founding the ADHD Black Professionals Alliance, and how she helps others own their fire and intensity without apology. Inger's insight, humor, and realness make this an episode you won't want to miss.

   P.S. We're planning to bring Inger back for a guest call in the Embracing Intensity Community during the 2026 speaker season—I'd love your feedback on upcoming topics and guests!

   About Inger Shaye Colzie

   Inger is a therapist, ADHD coach, and the founder of the ADHD Black Professionals Alliance. Diagnosed later in life, she now uses her lived experience, clinical knowledge, and coaching tools to support other Black women navigating life, work, and relationships with ADHD. Through her practice and community, she creates spaces for healing, advocacy, and unapologetic self-discovery.

   In This Episode:

   • The experience of being undiagnosed with ADHD well into adulthood—and what finally led her to seek answers

   • Growing up as an intense, passionate child whose energy was often misunderstood

   • Why culturally relevant care is essential for Black women with ADHD

   • The emotional impact of living with ADHD in a world not built for neurodivergent minds

   • How diagnosis and coaching helped her reframe her identity and harness her gifts

   • Creating the ADHD Black Professionals Alliance as a safe and empowering space

   • Turning down the dial—or turning it up with intention

   • The importance of coaching, community, and embracing your whole self

   Resources & Links:

   • Inger Shaye Colzie's Website & Coaching Info

   • ADHD Black Professionals Alliance

   • Join the Embracing Intensity Community

   Whether you're navigating ADHD yourself or supporting others who are, this episode offers compassion, clarity, and community. Inger's story is a reminder that it's never too late to rewrite the narrative—and that when we embrace our fire, we light the way for others.

   🎧 Listen now and share with someone who needs to hear they are not broken—just unseen.

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10. 290: Executive Functioning with Fizzah Zaidi

    01.12.202533 Min.Als Nächstes

    Episode 290: Executive Functioning with Fizzah Zaidi In this powerful episode of Embracing Intensity, I'm joined by the insightful and compassionate Fizzah Zaidi, a psychotherapist who specializes in working …

    Shownotes

    Episode 290: Executive Functioning with Fizzah Zaidi

    In this powerful episode of Embracing Intensity, I'm joined by the insightful and compassionate Fizzah Zaidi, a psychotherapist who specializes in working with neurodivergent individuals. We explore the complexities of executive functioning, and how understanding our brain's unique operating system can transform how we show up for ourselves and others.

    Fizzah brings deep experience from her work with high-achieving neurodivergent clients in the tech, medical, and legal fields. Together, we discuss how neurodivergent brains often struggle not because they're broken, but because they're functioning differently—and those differences can also be sources of strength.

    About Fizzah Zaidi

    Fizzah Zaidi is a Chicago-based psychotherapist with a passion for working with neurodivergent adults. Her practice supports many twice-exceptional individuals in high-demand professions, and her work includes educating organizations on how to better support neurodiverse teams. Diagnosed with ADHD just before entering graduate school, she dove deep into understanding the brain and executive functioning through continuing education and real-world application.

    In This Episode:

    • Why rest isn't always about being still—and how energizing activities can also be restorative.

    • The link between executive dysfunction and rejection sensitivity.

    • How big-picture thinkers can better support task initiation and follow-through.

    • Understanding the role of the prefrontal cortex and limbic system in executive functioning.

    • Why complex tasks might be easier than basic ones for some neurodivergent folks.

    • The importance of personalized strategies over one-size-fits-all "fixes."

    • Using self-regulation instead of self-control to support executive function.

    • Shifting the mindset from "fixing" to understanding your operating system.

    🔗 Resources & Links

    • Fizzah Zaidi's Website

    • Join the Embracing Intensity Community

    • Find Workbooks

    • Embracing Intensity Guest Call Library

11. 289: Reclaiming Power Through Art w/ Ilima Considine

    04.11.202528 Min.Als Nächstes

    In this week's episode, Aurora sits down with Portland-based multidisciplinary artist and filmmaker Ilima Considine to explore how neurodivergence, art, music, and personal experience intersect to spark …

    Shownotes

    In this week's episode, Aurora sits down with Portland-based multidisciplinary artist and filmmaker Ilima Considine to explore how neurodivergence, art, music, and personal experience intersect to spark powerful creative expression. Ilima shares her journey through long COVID, chronic illness, and how she channels her intensity into film, empowering others in the process.

    As Ilima prepares to premiere her second feature-length film, Drug Holiday, she talks about the themes of trauma, addiction, and radicalization—and how they resonate with creative and neurodivergent communities. This conversation dives deep into how one artist transforms challenges into bold storytelling.

    🎨 About Ilima

    Ilima Considine is best known as the frontwoman for the Sexbots and a multidisciplinary artist whose work spans music, visual art, and now film. After a severe bout of long COVID altered her career trajectory, Ilima dove headfirst into filmmaking, combining sound, visuals, and narrative to explore themes that are often hard to talk about—like grooming, neurodivergence, and societal trauma.

    ✨ In This Episode:

    • How chronic illness and neurodivergence have shaped Ilima's creative process

    • The story behind Drug Holiday, and how it reflects real-life struggles with trauma and radicalization

    • The overlap between neurodivergent traits and the arts—and how Ilima fosters a safe space for collaborators

    • Embracing intensity as a strength in both personal and professional life

    • Why Portland became a haven for embracing eccentricity and creativity

    • The value of harnessing hyperfocus and obsessive attention to detail

    • Using film to bring light to dark topics in accessible, artistic ways

    • Ilima's philosophy on directing: accommodating individual needs to help artists thrive

    • Her own experiences with burnout, energy management, and the use of stimulants during film production

    🔗 Resources & Links:

    • Ilima's Website

    • Check out her band: The Sexbots

    • Watch Drug Holiday (Premiering Nov. 14th at Mission Theater, Portland)

    • Join the Embracing Intensity Community

    🎬 Whether you're an artist, a neurodivergent creative, or someone navigating chronic health challenges, Ilima's story is a powerful reminder that you can channel your fire into something deeply meaningful—and bring others along with you.

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12. 288: Tasting the Gifted Rainbow w/ Kaitlin Smith

    08.10.202540 Min.Als Nächstes

    In this deeply insightful guest call, we welcome Kaitlin Smith, a PhD candidate in the history of science at Harvard with a secondary focus in African American Studies. Kaitlin brings a powerful lens to the …

    Shownotes

    In this deeply insightful guest call, we welcome Kaitlin Smith, a PhD candidate in the history of science at Harvard with a secondary focus in African American Studies. Kaitlin brings a powerful lens to the conversation around giftedness, drawing from her academic research, clinical background, and personal experience as a former support provider for gifted and intense Black adults.

    This episode explores the intersections of giftedness, race, history, science, and social narratives—inviting us to reexamine what we consider "normal" and how systemic forces shape our understanding of intelligence and identity.

    A Scholarly Look at Diverse Expressions of Giftedness with Kaitlin Smith

    Join us for an enlightening session with Kaitlin Smith, MSW -- founder of Our Wild Minds -- in which we will explore diverse lived experiences of giftedness that people have in light of differences in social identity (e.g., race, gender, class, and spirituality). Kaitlin will share insights derived from scholarly research and personal experience, shedding light on how social forces and historical developments influence the recognition and experience of gifted traits. Attendees will engage with ideas that illuminate often-overlooked aspects of your intensities and learn strategies that will help you celebrate your (and others') multitudes.

    About Kaitlin:

    Kaitlin Smith, MSW is a writer, facilitator, and Ph.D Candidate at Harvard in the Department of History of Science where she is developing a dissertation on the history of the field of Black Psychology. Kaitlin is also the former founder of Our Wild Minds which offers online community and in-person experiences for highly creative, intellectually intense, and/or gifted Black adults from all over the world. Kaitlin's research and work with Our Wild Minds is informed by past training and work as a psychotherapist.

    🔍 In This Episode:

    • The history of psychological science and its impact on marginalized identities

    • Kaitlin's personal experience with racism and bias in clinical training

    • How the field of Black psychology emerged in resistance to biased systems

    • Case studies including Oscar Moore and the Larry P v. Riles court case

    • How Donna Haraway's concept of situated knowledges can inform gifted advocacy

    • The danger of universalizing objectivity in science and education

    • Using historical context to reframe personal experiences of giftedness

    • Opportunities for collective solidarity and support in gifted communities

    • Questions for self-reflection around situated knowledge and identity

    📚 Resources:

    • Join the Embracing Intensity Community

    • Kaitlin Smith's gifted resources

    • Kaitlin's Substack

    💬 Access the Extended Discussion in the Guest Call Library or All-Access Membership!

    • A rich Q&A on the intersection of giftedness, race, and gender, and how these identities interact in systemic settings

    • Reflections on how trauma and neurodivergence shape each other across personal and collective histories

    • Insightful audience comments on the importance of reclaiming educational and psychological language

    • Exploration of "the gifted rainbow" as a metaphor for the complexity and beauty of diverse gifted identities

    • Practical examples of how to create supportive spaces for gifted and twice-exceptional Black individuals

    • Honest conversation about grief, joy, and the non-linear journey of self-discovery as a neurodivergent person

    • Kaitlin's take on integrating history, embodiment, and radical curiosity into both academic and personal healing

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13. 287: The Myth of Work-Life Balance

    01.09.202533 Min.Als Nächstes

    Is work-life balance real—or just another unrealistic expectation? In this solo episode of Embracing Intensity, I unpack the myth of work-life balance and share my journey toward something more meaningful …

    Shownotes

    Is work-life balance real—or just another unrealistic expectation? In this solo episode of Embracing Intensity, I unpack the myth of work-life balance and share my journey toward something more meaningful: harmony. Drawing from my personal life, this episode dives deep into how neurodivergent people navigate work hours, personal time, and the demands of life in a way that feels aligned, not forced.

    After a summer of restoration and reflection, I'm back working full-time in the school system—and instead of chasing "balance," I'm creating sustainable rhythms that honor my energy, creativity, and mental health.

    About Aurora

    I'm Aurora Remember Holtzman, host of Embracing Intensity and creator of the Embracing Intensity Community. With years of experience working with gifted, twice-exceptional, and neurodivergent folks, I help people stop beating themselves up for not meeting arbitrary standards and start living in alignment with their core values. My goal? To help you use your intensity as a tool for transformation—without burning out.

    In This Episode:

    • Why the concept of work-life balance might be doing more harm than good

    • Reframing productivity, especially for different people with unique brain wiring

    • How long hours and unrealistic expectations lead to burnout

    • The power of aligning with your core values instead of external goals

    • How "contaminated time" steals joy from our personal lives

    • Tools like energy audits to help create real work-life harmony

    • Letting go of hustle culture and embracing meaningful work

    • Tips for reclaiming quality time and rest—even with full work hours

    • Why the opposite of life isn't work—but disconnection

    🔗 Resources & Links:

    • 🔥 Join the Embracing Intensity Community

    • 📘 Energy Balance Workbook (Print & Kindle)

    • ✨ Balancing Time & Energy Digital Guide

    ✨ Balance is a myth. Harmony is the goal. Tap into your own rhythm and reclaim your time, energy, and creativity—on your terms.

    🎧 Listen now on EmbracingIntensity.com

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14. 286: Collective Liberation w/ Caroline J. Sumlin

    01.07.202542 Min.Als Nächstes

    In this powerful episode of Embracing Intensity, we welcome Caroline J. Sumlin—author of We'll All Be Free—for a deep, vulnerable, and inspiring conversation about collective liberation, the impact of white …

    Shownotes

    In this powerful episode of Embracing Intensity, we welcome Caroline J. Sumlin—author of We'll All Be Free—for a deep, vulnerable, and inspiring conversation about collective liberation, the impact of white supremacy culture, and how we can begin to reclaim our worth. Caroline shares her perspective as a neurodivergent mother, speaker, and educator, and we explore the intersection of self-worth, systemic oppression, and sustainable social justice work.

    About Caroline J. Sumlin

    Caroline is an author, speaker, and homeschool parent living in the Washington D.C. area. Her work centers on liberation from white supremacy culture, with a focus on how systemic oppression impacts self-worth. Her book, We'll All Be Free, is a guide to deprogramming the internalized messages of white supremacy and reclaiming your true self. Caroline's mission is to help others recognize the worth that oppressive systems have tried to erase.

    In This Episode:

    • The importance of understanding how white supremacy culture harms everyone—not just the most marginalized.

    • Why urgency, productivity, and perfectionism are tools of white supremacy—and how to break free.

    • Navigating motivation and urgency as a neurodivergent person.

    • Creating a life of joy and balance while staying engaged in liberation work.

    • The importance of connecting with our shared humanity in social justice conversations.

    • Understanding collective harm and our responsibility in collective healing.

    • Caroline's perspective on using privilege for good and deconditioning colonial thinking.

    Resources & Links:

    • Caroline J. Sumlin's Website

    • We'll All Be Free – Caroline's Book

    • Follow Caroline on Instagram

    • Join the Embracing Intensity Community

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15. 285: The Power of Mirroring with Sheldon Gay

    02.06.202537 Min.Als Nächstes

    In this thought-provoking episode of Embracing Intensity, Aurora sits down with Sheldon Gay, host of the I Must Be BUG'N podcast, which amplifies the stories and voices of Black, unidentified, underrepresented …

    Shownotes

    In this thought-provoking episode of Embracing Intensity, Aurora sits down with Sheldon Gay, host of the I Must Be BUG'N podcast, which amplifies the stories and voices of Black, unidentified, underrepresented, gifted, and otherwise neurodivergent people. Sheldon is deeply insightful, warm, and grounded in his advocacy to humanize the neurodivergent experience. Together, they dive into the power of mirroring—that magical moment when we see ourselves reflected in others—and how it plays a crucial role in identity, belonging, and connection.

    Sheldon shares his personal journey discovering his giftedness later in life and how joining neurodivergent spaces offered a profound sense of home and validation. He speaks candidly about emotional giftedness, navigating systems that often don't recognize or affirm difference, and the importance of compassion, boundaries, and self-trust.

    ✨ In this episode:

    • What mirroring means and why it's vital for neurodivergent people

    • How Sheldon discovered his giftedness and launched I Must Be BUG'N

    • Why IQ tests don't tell the whole story of intelligence or giftedness

    • Emotional giftedness, self-doubt, and how we process emotions

    • Compassion and boundaries in spaces where we feel misunderstood

    • Recognizing our gifts even when others don't

    • The power of community connection and storytelling

    • Insights into upcoming collaborative projects with Sheldon, including neurodivergent-friendly apps

    • Reflections on Aurora's recent blog post on neurodivergent relationships

    🔗 Resources & Links:

    • I Must Be BUG'N Podcast

    • Embracing Intensity Community

    • Aurora's Blog Post on Neurodivergent Relationships

    • Intuitive Flow Podcast Episode

    Whether you're just beginning your journey or deep into exploring your neurodivergent identity, this conversation is a reminder that you are not alone—and that your experiences, brilliance, and emotions are valid and worthy of being seen.

    🎧 Listen now and feel seen.

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16. 284: Breaking Through Burnout w/ Brendan Mahan

    22.04.20251 Std.Als Nächstes

    This week on the Embracing Intensity podcast, I'm thrilled to welcome back the always thoughtful and illuminating Brendan Mahan, founder of ADHD Essentials and creator of the Wall of Awful. In this free-flowing …

    Shownotes

    This week on the Embracing Intensity podcast, I'm thrilled to welcome back the always thoughtful and illuminating Brendan Mahan, founder of ADHD Essentials and creator of the Wall of Awful. In this free-flowing and deeply relatable conversation, we dive into the realities of ADHD burnout, navigating screen time, and what it really means to rest. Brendan and I both share personally about our own experiences with burnout and recovery, and how we're learning to work with our neurodivergent brains instead of against them.

    About Brendan Mahan:

    Brendan Mahan is a speaker, coach, and host of the ADHD Essentials Podcast. He specializes in helping families, educators, and individuals better understand ADHD through metaphor, structure, and compassion. Brendan is known for his "Wall of Awful" model—a powerful visual metaphor that helps people identify and move through the emotional blocks that make motivation so hard for those with ADHD. He's currently working on a book titled Overcoming the Wall of Awful, expected to release in 2026.

    In This Episode:

    • The difference between hard fascination and soft fascination, and why the latter is key for real rest

    • What the Default Mode Network is and how it affects neurodivergent minds

    • How screen time mimics rest but often leads to hard fascination and further mental exhaustion

    • The origins of the Wall of Awful and how it helps people understand motivation challenges

    • Tools Brendan uses to access soft fascination, from walks in the woods to weighted pressure

    • The idea of contaminated time and how it sabotages meaningful rest

    • Navigating professional transitions and creative burnout

    • Letting go of transactional relationships and leaning into transformational connection

    • Using Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs to intentionally rebuild from burnout

    • How embracing your values and regulating sensory input can be powerful tools for recovery

    • Reframing burnout as a "season" and holding onto hope that things can and do change

    🎧 Tune in to hear a heartfelt, relatable conversation on burnout, ADHD, and the power of slowing down with intention. Whether you're deep in burnout or on the road to recovery, this episode offers compassionate insights and practical tools to help you find your way back to balance.

    Resources & Links:

    • Brendan Mahan – ADHD Essentials

    • The Wall of Awful on How to ADHD (YouTube)

    • Embracing Intensity Community

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17. 283: Empowering Neurodivergent Voices w/ Fizzah Zaidi

    07.04.202534 Min.Als Nächstes

    In this inspiring episode of Embracing Intensity, I'm joined by the vibrant and insightful Fizzah Zaidi, a psychotherapist based in Chicago who works with adults with ADHD, especially those navigating …

    Shownotes

    In this inspiring episode of Embracing Intensity, I'm joined by the vibrant and insightful Fizzah Zaidi, a psychotherapist based in Chicago who works with adults with ADHD, especially those navigating high-pressure environments like tech and finance. We originally connected at an ADHD conference over boots and breakfast, and I'm so excited to bring her energy and wisdom to the podcast!

    Fizzah shares her journey from a creative career in animation to becoming a mental health professional, her passion for social justice, and how she uses her intensity to empower her clients. Together, we explore what it means to navigate neurodivergence with curiosity, creativity, and self-compassion.

    About Fizzah Zaidi:

    Fizzah is a psychotherapist and former animator who brings her creative flair and social justice focus into her therapeutic practice. Working primarily with high-achieving adults in the finance and tech sectors, she specializes in supporting ADHD and twice-exceptional individuals as they navigate complex challenges in both personal and professional settings. Her approach is multimodal, trauma-informed, and deeply rooted in empathy, humor, and the belief that everyone deserves someone who truly believes in them.

    In This Episode:

    • How Fizzah uses creativity and multimodal therapy to connect with clients

    • The role of social justice in her personal and professional intensity

    • Navigating cultural stigma around mental health and emotional expression

    • Toning down to survive: childhood masking and fear of judgment

    • Channeling intensity into advocacy: challenging grad school policies while pregnant

    • Why "being kind to yourself" means embracing your human moments

    • The power of curiosity and education in making sense of your neurodivergent brain

    • Executive function myths: the difference between lacking skills vs. activation

    • Building community care, challenging black-and-white thinking, and supporting clients in discovering their fire

    Conclusion:

    Fizzah reminds us that intensity can be a powerful force for justice, healing, and growth when it's supported and expressed authentically. Her story highlights the importance of giving ourselves permission to feel, question, and grow in our own unique ways—and supporting others as they do the same. Whether you're navigating neurodivergence, embracing your emotional depth, or looking for ways to channel your fire, this episode will leave you feeling seen and inspired.

    🎧 Tune in now and discover how you, too, can embrace your intensity and turn it into your greatest strength.

    Resources & Links:

    • Fizzah Zaidi Psychotherapy Website: fzpsychotherapy.com

    • Connect with Fizzah via Email: Available through her website

    • Located in Chicago? Reach out and grab coffee with Fizzah!

    • PowerZone Toolkit Challenge (Free & Evergreen): embracingintensity.com/toolkit

    • Join the Embracing Intensity Community: community.embracingintensity.com

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18. 282. Navigating Neurodivergent Burnout

    11.03.202515 Min.Als Nächstes

    After a bit of a break from long-form content, I'm so excited to be back with a solo episode that's deeply personal and incredibly timely. I've missed connecting with you more intimately through the podcast and …

    Shownotes

    After a bit of a break from long-form content, I'm so excited to be back with a solo episode that's deeply personal and incredibly timely. I've missed connecting with you more intimately through the podcast and am looking forward to bringing you more episodes like this in the coming months.

    Lately, I've been diving into the topic of neurodivergent burnout, something I've experienced firsthand and that I know many of you can relate to. I've written two blog posts on the topic and shared a companion video on YouTube—and even tested out long-form content on TikTok for the first time!

    This episode is a heartfelt exploration of what burnout can look like for those of us who are gifted, ADHD, autistic, or otherwise neurodivergent, and how we can begin to recover and reconnect with our energy and purpose.

    About My Experience of Burnout:

    Over the last three years, I've been working through the most intense burnout of my life. It started during the pandemic and lingered far beyond, as I struggled to return to the rhythms of daily life in a world that never truly went "back to normal." Like many neurodivergent individuals, I found myself caught in a cycle of urgency, executive dysfunction, emotional exhaustion, and identity loss—especially as a twice-exceptional adult who spent years masking and pushing through.

    Throughout this episode, I share how I began healing by shifting my energy focus, consuming more uplifting media, and building out my self-regulation toolkit. These small but impactful steps helped me start to climb out of burnout and reconnect with my values and purpose.

    In This Episode:

    • What neurodivergent burnout really is and how it differs from general burnout
    • The impact of executive dysfunction, sensory overload, and masking
    • The "gifted kid burnout" problem and how identity gets tangled in achievement
    • How urgency culture creates cycles of burnout and crash
    • Using the "circle of influence" vs. "circle of concern" to refocus energy
    • Shifting media consumption and moving from doomscrolling to hope scrolling
    • The importance of community care and authentic connection
    • Building a personalized self-regulation toolkit for long-term energy balance
    • Learning to ask for help and receive support without guilt
    • A reminder: burnout is not a personal failure—it's a survival response

    Burnout is an all-too-common challenge for neurodivergent people, and it often looks very different from what the general population might expect. For autistic people, ADHD burnout, and other forms of neurodivergent burnout, it's not just about long hours or hard work—it's about the constant effort of navigating a neurotypical world without adequate support. The neurodivergent mind processes sensory input, social interaction, and executive function tasks in different ways, often leading to sensory processing issues and emotional exhaustion. Many autistic adults and neurodivergent individuals experience a greater risk of burnout due to the compounding effects of chronic stress, loss of skills, and a deep lack of motivation when support systems are not in place.

    While neurotypical people may recover from burnout with rest alone, a neurodivergent adult often needs more nuanced strategies to heal—ones that take into account their unique neurodivergent traits, sensory experiences, and cognitive abilities. Burnout can also exacerbate mood disorders like anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Unfortunately, many family members, employers, and even mental health professionals may overlook these common causes, failing to provide the school accommodations, social support, or safe place needed for recovery. Whether it's through personal experience, insights from advocates or participation in online communities, it's clear that understanding the term neurodivergent and how it manifests is crucial. Supporting autistic children, ADHD individuals, and all neurodivergent people in reaching their full potential means meeting human needs, addressing sensory processing issues, and creating an ideal world where burnout is not the norm—but a sign that something deeper must be healed.

    If you've been feeling like you're constantly pushing through exhaustion, struggling to find balance, or wondering why everything feels so hard—you are not alone. Neurodivergent burnout is real, and it's not a reflection of your worth or capability. It's a signal that your needs deserve more care, compassion, and community support.

    Let this episode be a gentle reminder that your intensity is not too much, your rest is valid, and your healing matters. I'd love to hear from you—what topics would you like me to explore further on the podcast? And if you're ready to start building your own toolkit for energy balance and self-regulation, check out the PowerZone Toolkit Challenge, now available anytime you need it.

    🎧 Listen now and take your next step toward recovery and reclaiming your energy.

    Resources & Links:

    • PowerZone Toolkit Challenge (now evergreen & free!)
    • Join the Embracing Intensity Community
    • Watch the video on YouTube
    • Follow on TikTok & Instagram: @embracingintensity

19. 281: Reclaiming Your Worth & Collective Liberation with Caroline J. Sumlin

    18.02.202551 Min.Als Nächstes

    In this episode of Embracing Intensity, host Aurora Remember sits down with Caroline J. Sumlin, author of We'll All Be Free: How a Culture of White Supremacy Devalues Us and How We Can Reclaim Our True Worth …

    Shownotes

    In this episode of Embracing Intensity, host Aurora Remember sits down with Caroline J. Sumlin, author of We'll All Be Free: How a Culture of White Supremacy Devalues Us and How We Can Reclaim Our True Worth. Together, they explore the intersection of intensity, self-worth, and collective liberation.

    Caroline shares her journey from feeling like she was "too much" to reclaiming her intensity as a gift. They dive into how societal systems—especially those rooted in white supremacy—fuel perfectionism, hustle culture, and the feeling of never being good enough. This conversation is both deeply personal and action-oriented, offering tools for doing the inner work to break free from these toxic systems and reclaim your inherent worth.

    About Caroline J. Sumlin:

    Caroline J. Sumlin is a writer, speaker, and educator whose work focuses on dismantling the toxic cultural messages rooted in white supremacy that tell us we are never enough. She empowers individuals—especially Black women and other marginalized communities—to reclaim their self-worth and reimagine a liberated, fulfilling life.

    Her book, We'll All Be Free, blends personal narrative, social commentary, and actionable guidance to help readers break free from perfectionism, self-doubt, and societal pressure.

    In This Episode:

    • The Never-Enough Culture – How systems of white supremacy drive perfectionism and keep us striving to prove our worth.

    • Intensity as a Gift – Caroline's journey from being labeled "intense" to recognizing her passion as a source of power.

    • Masking and Cultural Expectations – The pressure on Black women to tone down their true selves and "fit in."

    • Self-Discovery as Liberation – Why examining how systems shape our beliefs is essential to personal and collective freedom.

    • Finding Outlets for Intensity – How Caroline channels her energy through writing, tennis, acting, and music.

    • The Power of Rest and Reclaiming Time – How rest can be a radical act of resistance in a culture that values productivity over well-being.

    • Navigating ADHD and Giftedness – Caroline's exploration into her own possible neurodivergence and her daughter's twice-exceptionality journey.

    • Ripple Effect Change – Why small, intentional actions can lead to lasting, collective transformation.

    Key Takeaways:

    • Your worth is not tied to your productivity.

    • Systems of oppression benefit from keeping us feeling "not enough."

    • Intensity is a strength when you learn to embrace and channel it.

    • Rest is a radical act of resistance against hustle culture.

    • Small, personal shifts can ripple outward to create collective change.

    Resources & Links:

    • Caroline's Website

    • Follow Caroline on Instagram & Threads: @carolinejsumlin

    • Book: We'll All Be Free – Support independent bookstores via Bookshop.org

    • Embracing Intensity Community

    • Embracing Intensity Mastermind (Coupon Code: EARLYBIRD25)

    • Twice-Exceptionality Stories Playlist (YouTube)

20. 280: Celebrating Neurodivergence and Authenticity with Sheldon Gay

    19.01.20251 Std. 2 Min.Als Nächstes

    In this episode of Embracing Intensity, I'm thrilled to welcome Sheldon Gay, host of the I Must Be Buggin' podcast. Sheldon brings his insightful perspective on navigating life as a late-identified gifted and …

    Shownotes

    In this episode of Embracing Intensity, I'm thrilled to welcome Sheldon Gay, host of the I Must Be Buggin' podcast. Sheldon brings his insightful perspective on navigating life as a late-identified gifted and neurodivergent individual. His podcast and work are dedicated to amplifying underrepresented voices and empowering others to embrace their unique identities.

    We explore the challenges and beauty of being true to oneself in a world that often misunderstands intensity, neurodivergence, and giftedness. Sheldon's passion for self-discovery, emotional depth, and compassionate communication shines through in this powerful conversation.

    About Sheldon:

    Sheldon Gay is the host of the I Must Be Buggin' podcast, where he delves into topics of identity, giftedness, and neurodivergence through the lens of being Black, underrepresented, and gifted. His mission is to create a space for self-awareness, acceptance, and growth, while helping others see and embrace their unique strengths.

    Sheldon's background as a late-identified gifted and neurodivergent individual has fueled his passion for helping others on their journey of self-discovery. He brings a thoughtful, empathetic approach to conversations on identity, culture, and the power of authenticity.

    In This Episode:

    • Navigating Identity as a Late-Identified Neurodivergent Individual – Sheldon shares his journey of discovering his giftedness and neurodivergence later in life.

    • Ask vs. Guess Culture – A deep dive into communication styles, cultural nuances, and how self-awareness can help bridge differences.

    • The Power of Self-Discovery – Reflections on how shadow work and embracing authenticity can lead to freedom from shame and guilt.

    • Intensity and Emotional Depth – Exploring how Sheldon's intellectual curiosity and emotional intensity shape his interactions and relationships.

    • Cultural Expectations and Exceptionalism – Discussing the pressures faced by marginalized communities and how giftedness intersects with cultural identity.

    • Truth with Compassion – The importance of sharing truth in ways that create connection and understanding rather than division.

    Resources & Links:

    • Sheldon's Website: Sheldon Gay is Buggin

    • Listen to the I Must Be Buggin' podcast

    • Learn more about Sheldon's speaking engagements

    • Explore his neuroaffirming and anti-racist merchandise

    • Join the Embracing Intensity Community

    • Connect with Aurora: Embracing Intensity

    Sheldon's thoughtful reflections and passion for empowering others provide invaluable insights for anyone navigating their own journey of self-discovery and authenticity. Tune in for an engaging and inspiring conversation!

    Listen now and share your thoughts with us! 🎧✨

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21. 279: The Science of Writing to Heal w/ Nneka Denise

    17.12.202433 Min.Als Nächstes

    The Science of Writing to Heal with Nneka Denise In this episode of Embracing Intensity, we're excited to share the Q&A portion of our powerful conversation with Nneka Denise, founder of the Write to Heal …

    Shownotes

    The Science of Writing to Heal with Nneka Denise

    In this episode of Embracing Intensity, we're excited to share the Q&A portion of our powerful conversation with Nneka Denise, founder of the Write to Heal Project. This discussion offers timely tools and insights as we reflect on letting go of the past year and preparing for a fresh, intentional start in the new year.

    Nneka shares her transformative approach to healing through writing, addressing grief not only as it relates to loss but also to life transitions, personal growth, and emotional clarity. Whether you're navigating stress, seeking emotional release, or exploring creative outlets, this episode provides practical strategies to help you move forward.

    About Nneka Denise

    Nneka Denise is the founder of the Write to Heal Project and a trained end-of-life and bereavement doula based in the Portland-Vancouver area. Through journaling, visualization, and somatic practices, Nneka helps individuals process grief, trauma, and life's emotional challenges. She also runs the New Wellness Center in downtown Portland, a collective of holistic healing practitioners offering vibrational sound baths, Reiki, massage, and emotional wellness support.

    In This Episode:

    • The Science of Writing to Heal – How writing can help process emotions, grief, and transitions in life.
    • Practical Writing Strategies – Tips for using gratitude journaling, brain dumps, and affirmations to create a daily healing practice.
    • Ceremonial Release – The power of burning or shredding written emotions as a symbolic act of letting go.
    • Affirmations for Healing – How to create affirmations that feel believable and achievable, guiding you toward positive change.
    • Navigating Writing Challenges – Nneka's advice for those with ADHD, dyslexia, or writing apprehensions, including voice dictation and alternative methods.

    Resources & Links:

    • Connect with Nneka on Instagram: @nneka_denise

    • Contact Nneka via email: [email protected]

    • Learn about the New Wellness Center in Downtown Portland (10th & Morrison)

    • Explore the Embracing Intensity Community and Memberships.

    • Preorder Aurora's workbook, Energy Balance (Kindle edition), available this Friday, December 20th.

    Nneka's work offers invaluable tools for self-reflection, healing, and emotional growth through the simple yet profound act of writing. Whether you're a lifelong journaler or just beginning your healing journey, this episode is packed with actionable insights to help you process emotions and step into the new year with intention.

    Listen now and take the first step toward embracing your own healing process! 🎧✨

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22. 278: Nonviolent Communication w/ Bob Yamtich

    25.11.202431 Min.Als Nächstes

    In this highly engaging episode of the Embracing Intensity podcast, host Aurora Remember Holtzman dives deep into the world of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) with Bob Yamtich, a seasoned practitioner with over …

    Shownotes

    In this highly engaging episode of the Embracing Intensity podcast, host Aurora Remember Holtzman dives deep into the world of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) with Bob Yamtich, a seasoned practitioner with over 20 years of experience. Bob shares how NVC has shaped his approach to relationships, parenting, and self-understanding, particularly as a neurodivergent individual. This conversation is packed with practical insights and tools for those seeking to enhance their self-connection and interpersonal communication.

    About Bob Yamtich:

    Bob Yamtich is a dedicated Nonviolent Communication trainer, therapist, and engineer. His journey into NVC began after his career as an environmental engineer, driven by his desire to contribute to societal change through better communication. Bob's unique approach integrates empathy with analytical insights, honoring the importance of neurodivergence in his work and personal growth. He is a passionate advocate for using NVC as a bridge between self-awareness and impactful communication.

    In This Episode:

    • Bob's personal journey with Nonviolent Communication and how it helped him find balance as a bipolar individual.

    • The core principles of NVC: self-connection, empathy, and honesty.

    • How to distinguish between needs and strategies, and why it matters in communication.

    • The concept of holding multiple needs and strategies simultaneously for resilience and creativity.

    • Balancing analytical insights with empathy in understanding neurodivergence.

    • Practical exercises, including identifying three current needs and corresponding strategies.

    • How NVC fosters community, shared power, and collaborative problem-solving.

    • Bob's experiences teaching NVC to diverse audiences, including children and incarcerated individuals.

    • The shift from "battle mode" to "build mode" in creating meaningful connections.

    Links and Resources:

    • Learn more about Nonviolent Communication and its principles here.

    • Learn more about Bob on his website!

    • Explore Aurora's Neurodivergent Toolbox and other resources at the Embracing Intensity Shop.

    • Get 25% off Aurora's digital products and memberships with code BIRTHDAY24 (valid until Dec 2).

    Whether you're new to Nonviolent Communication or a seasoned practitioner, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable strategies for enriching your connections with yourself and others. Tune in for a thought-provoking and uplifting discussion!

23. 277: Navigating Healthy Relationships w/ Heather Boorman-Morris

    08.10.202444 Min.Als Nächstes

    This episode of the Embracing Intensity podcast, features a detailed conversation with Heather Borman Morris about understanding narcissistic relationships and how they uniquely affect gifted and neurodivergent …

    Shownotes

    This episode of the Embracing Intensity podcast, features a detailed conversation with Heather Borman Morris about understanding narcissistic relationships and how they uniquely affect gifted and neurodivergent individuals. Heather, a clinical social worker, shares her personal experience with narcissistic abuse, providing insights on identifying covert narcissism versus mere intense interest, particularly in neurodivergent or twice-exceptional individuals. The discussion delves into strategies for recognizing and managing toxic relationships, differentiating between narcissism and authentic behaviors, and emphasizes the need for understanding personal boundaries and fostering healthy relationships post-abuse. The episode also introduces Heather's work, including her book 'A Thousand Paper Cuts' and the podcast 'Starting Stronger'.

    About Heather:

    Heather Boorman-Morris is a renowned therapist, speaker, and author dedicated to helping individuals heal and thrive after experiencing toxic relationships. With over two decades of experience in the field, Heather specializes in trauma recovery, relationship dynamics, and neurodivergent mental health. She is the founder of Starting Stronger and the author of the acclaimed book Thousand Paper Cuts: Finding Healing in the Aftermath of a Narcissist. Heather's compassionate approach and deep understanding of complex emotional landscapes make her a sought-after expert in the journey towards healthy, fulfilling relationships.

    In this episode:

    • Heather joins the podcast to discuss navigating healthy relationships, focusing on narcissistic abuse.

    • Heather shares her experience of being in an abusive relationship and later discovering covert narcissism.

    • Discussion on the targeting of neurodivergent individuals by narcissists, highlighting their traits like empathy and ambition.

    • Differences between overt and covert narcissists are outlined, including their stages of relationship: idealization, devaluation, and discard.

    • Strategies like mirroring used by manipulators in relationships are explained.

    • Emphasis on trusting one's body and intuition as indicators of being in a toxic relationship.

    • Conversation on distinguishing between love bombing and genuine neurodivergent intensity.

    • Importance of taking time to build relationships and recognizing genuine intentions.

    • Discussion about the impact of past trauma and hyper-vigilance when forming new relationships.

    Resources:

    Join our Community & Check out our calendar of upcoming events!

    Embracing Intensity Memberships

    Starting Stronger Podcast

    A Thousand Papercuts

    Interoception Website

24. 276: Neurodivergent Leadership w/ Marc Almodovar

    16.09.202427 Min.Als Nächstes

    In this enriching episode, Aurora hosts Marc, who shares his profound insights on neurodivergent leadership. Marc introduces himself by recounting his journey with ADHD, from his early school years to receiving …

    Shownotes

    In this enriching episode, Aurora hosts Marc, who shares his profound insights on neurodivergent leadership. Marc introduces himself by recounting his journey with ADHD, from his early school years to receiving his diagnosis at 16. This pivotal moment spurred him to embrace and understand his unique brain function, leading to his certification as an ADHD life coach. Marc speaks proudly of founding the Men's ADHD Support Group, a 501c3 nonprofit with over 17,000 members, aiming to empower men with ADHD. He emphasizes the importance of leveraging the inherent strengths of neurodivergent individuals rather than conforming to societal norms. Marc's empathetic and mentorship-driven leadership style, rooted in his personal experiences, serves as a testament to the potential and efficacy of neurodivergent leaders. He addresses challenges such as imposter syndrome, the importance of passion in leadership, and strategies for effective communication within his organization. The discussion also touches on the nuances of the ADHD label, stressing a balanced view that acknowledges both strengths and challenges.

    About Marc:

    Marc Almodovar Jr. is a neurodiversity advocate and the founder of the ADHD Men's Support Group, a safe space where men with ADHD can connect with others who share common experiences and challenges. Marc's personal experience with ADHD led him to feel isolated and misunderstood, and he recognized the need for a supportive community. He believes that by fostering a sense of belonging and acceptance within the group, men with ADHD can advocate for neurodiversity awareness and acceptance within society as a whole.

    As a mental health advocate, Marc recognizes the stigma surrounding mental illness and strives to create a space where men with ADHD can feel safe and supported regardless of their unique ways of thinking and experiencing the world. He is passionate about raising awareness about neurodiversity and helping people understand the diverse ways in which people experience the world. With a balance of authenticity and positivity, Marc inspires others to embrace their unique strengths and connect with others within the neurodiverse community.

    In this episode:

    • Marc discusses his experience with ADHD, including his diagnosis at 16 and its impact on his life.

    • He shares how understanding his brain led him to personal development and becoming an ADHD life coach.

    • Founding the Men's ADHD Support Group, a non-profit organization with over 17,000 members.

    • People with ADHD often have strong leadership qualities.

    • Leveraging strengths rather than conforming to societal norms.

    • The importance of mentorship and leading by example.

    • Personal and societal challenges neurodivergent leaders face, such as imposter syndrome and self-criticism.

    • The value of self-affirmations and support systems in overcoming these challenges.

    • Negative feedback and misconceptions about ADHD, especially related to gender.

    • The need for safe spaces for men with ADHD and dispelling myths around the condition.

    • Giving constructive feedback while staying authentic.

    • Using "kind candor" and focusing on team collaboration to improve feedback delivery.

    • Resources available for partners of men with ADHD, including support groups and public content.

    • The debate around viewing ADHD as a gift versus a disorder.

    • Recognizing both the strengths and challenges of ADHD without labeling it strictly as one or the other.

    Resources:

    Join our Community & Check out our calendar of upcoming events!

    Embracing Intensity Memberships

    Join the ADHD Men's Support Group

    Follow the ADHD Men's Support Group on Twitter

    Follow Marc on Twitter

25. 275: The Healing Power of Music w/ Princess Fortier

    12.08.202426 Min.Als Nächstes

    This week on the Embracing Intensity podcast, host Aurora discusses the transformative power of music with guest Princess Fortier. Princess shares her personal journey of using singing to alleviate her chronic …

    Shownotes

    This week on the Embracing Intensity podcast, host Aurora discusses the transformative power of music with guest Princess Fortier. Princess shares her personal journey of using singing to alleviate her chronic migraines, which began at the age of 13. Despite initially pursuing neuroscience to find a medical cure, she discovered that singing provided significant relief from her symptoms. Aurora and Princess delve into how music can relax, heal, and foster emotional well-being, particularly for those with neurodivergent traits like ADHD and autism. They also explore the importance of community in musical healing practices and offer practical advice for using music and singing as therapeutic tools. Tips for finding and creating musical communities are discussed, along with the benefits of engaging in sound baths and circle singing.

    About Princess:

    Princess Fortier is a dynamic musician, speaker, and advocate for mental health and neurodivergence. With a rich background in using music as a therapeutic tool, she has dedicated her career to helping others find healing and self-expression through creative outlets. Princess's work emphasizes the emotional and psychological benefits of music, drawing from her personal experiences and professional expertise to inspire and empower her audience. She is known for her engaging and heartfelt presentations, making complex topics accessible and relatable to diverse audiences.

    In this Episode:

    • Princess shares how music has helped her understand and process emotions, learn about love, and find healing.
    • Aurora introduces the "Embracing Intensity" podcast, aimed at gifted, creative, twice-exceptional individuals.
    • Moving to a single monthly episode improved downloads.
    • Princess discusses her journey studying neuroscience to find a cure for her migraines.
    • Singing during a migraine attack unexpectedly relieved her symptoms.
    • Aurora opens up Q&A, asking Princess about factors contributing to music helping with migraines.
    • Princess explains the potential of music to relax and align with one's purpose, influencing mental and physical well-being.
    • Community involvement in singing and music is encouraged for healing and creativity.
    • Practical suggestions for engaging in music, such as joining choirs or attending sound bowl classes.
    • Discussion on how specific songs and types of music can be personalized for therapeutic benefit.
    • Auroras' philosophy: using her platform to allow others to share their voices.
    • Princess's invitation to explore creating and experiencing music for personal therapy.
    • Closing remarks emphasize continuing conversation and participating in the Embracing Intensity community.
    • Aurora concludes with invitations to join the community for support and access to tools for self-regulation.

    Resources:

    Princess on Instagram

    Princess' Website

    Join our Community & Check out our calendar of upcoming events!

    Embracing Intensity Memberships

26. 274: Restful Rest

    15.07.202423 Min.Als Nächstes

    In this solo episode, I delve into my personal journey of overcoming a prolonged burnout to explore the concept of truly restful rest. I discuss the five areas of energy balance—physical, emotional, mental …

    Shownotes

    In this solo episode, I delve into my personal journey of overcoming a prolonged burnout to explore the concept of truly restful rest. I discuss the five areas of energy balance—physical, emotional, mental, social, and connection—from my 'Balancing Your Time and Energy' workbook. Through my experience, including the importance of joy-driven activities, social connections, and the INCUP (Interest, Novelty, Challenge, Urgency, and Passion) framework, I provide practical advice on how to replenish energy reserves effectively. Also, discover the value of doing an energy audit to identify draining versus energizing activities. Learn more about my strategies for achieving genuine rest and explore my workbook collection for further guidance.

    In this Episode:

    • Experiencing burnout and the importance of restful rest.

    • Five Areas of Energy Balance: Physical, Emotional, Mental, Social, and Connection.

    • Physical Rest: Emphasizes the importance of activities that truly relax the nervous system, like going for walks.

    • Mental Rest: Stresses shifting focus to activities driven by joy rather than duty to avoid energy drain.

    • Emotional Rest: Highlights the significance of assertive actions over anxiety-driven actions.

    • Social Rest: Explains how spending time with comfortable social connections can be energizing.

    • Connection: Discusses the importance of feeling connected to oneself, others, and the world.

    • Motivation Factors: INCUP - Interest, Novelty, Challenge, Urgency, and Passion - as motivational strategies.

    • Urgency: Talks about creating a sense of urgency through public accountability to stay motivated.

    • Challenge: Transforming tasks into challenges to stay engaged and motivated.

    • Interest: Recommends revisiting previous interests to reignite passion.

    • Novelty and Passion: Encourages switching things up to maintain novelty and passion in tasks.

    • Join our upcoming community call on the healing power of music!

    Resources:

    Join the Embracing Intensity Community for our upcoming call!

27. 273: Exploring Self-Connection w/ Bob Yamtich

    04.06.202430 Min.Als Nächstes

    In this episode of the Embracing Intensity podcast, host Aurora Remember Holtzman interviews Bob Yamtich about his journey with intensity, nonviolent communication (NVC), and self-connection. Bob shares his …

    Shownotes

    In this episode of the Embracing Intensity podcast, host Aurora Remember Holtzman interviews Bob Yamtich about his journey with intensity, nonviolent communication (NVC), and self-connection. Bob shares his personal experiences with bipolar disorder and hypomania, the importance of shared reality, and his passion for self-connection. He discusses his work, including his self-connection coloring book, and provides insights into the practice of NVC for both self-awareness and enhancing interpersonal communication. Aurora and Bob also delve into the challenges and rewards of forming in-person connections and the role of intensity in their lives. The episode concludes with Bob's emphasis on the foundational role of self-connection in his approach to NVC and a preview of his upcoming live discussion on the topic.

    About Bob:

    Bob Yamtich is a therapist and Nonviolent Communication trainer. He completed his Bachelor's in Civil Engineering in 2003, the BayNVC Nonviolent Communication Leadership Program in 2007 (assisting in LP08), and his Master's in Counseling Psychology in 2011. He earned his Marriage and Family Therapist license in California in 2014. He was a founding member of the Da Vinci Center for Gifted Children in Alameda, CA, and Genesis Innovation Academy in Atlanta, GA. Bob currently lives in Indiana and offers phone coaching and in-person training. He can be followed on Twitter @BobYamtich.

    In this episode:

    • Introduction by Bob about trusting intensity based on shared reality and positive contributions.

    • Aurora introduces Bob Yamtich, mentioning his upcoming talk on Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and their mutual appreciation for NVC.

    • Bob expresses gratitude for being on the podcast.

    • Aurora asks Bob about what he is intensely passionate about; Bob mentions his role as a dad and his professional passion for developing self-connection, highlighting his self-connection coloring book.

    • Discussion on how NVC helps both with self-connection and interpersonal communication.

    • Bob speaks about overcoming hypomania and psychosis, emphasizing the need for stability and shared reality.

    • Bob shares his journey with bipolar disorder and the importance of medication alongside therapeutic practices.

    • Aurora asks about the impact of intensity during Bob's upbringing; Bob shares how his extreme passion led to feelings of guilt and loneliness.

    • Bob mentions his gifted program experience and the importance of having passionate friends.

    • Bob discusses how nonviolent communication helped him rebuild his life and manage his intensity.

    • Aurora and Bob talk about the challenges and benefits of connecting with others in person versus online.

    • Bob reflects on the shadow side of his intensity, including an episode where he buried treasure and was not in touch with shared reality.

    • Emphasis on the importance of self-connection in managing intensity and understanding one's needs.

    • Bob shares a final blessing of self-connection and invites listeners to explore this concept along with empathy and honesty in nonviolent communication.

    Resources:

    Bob's Website

    Embracing Intensity Memberships

    Join our Community & Check out our calendar of upcoming events!

28. 272. Creativity as Self Care w/ Sharon Burton

    13.05.202456 Min.Als Nächstes

    This week on Embracing Intensity, we share part of our call with Sharon J. Burton on "Creativity as Self-Care." Sharon delves into a chapter from her upcoming book "Creative Sparks" that explores how embracing …

    Shownotes

    This week on Embracing Intensity, we share part of our call with Sharon J. Burton on "Creativity as Self-Care." Sharon delves into a chapter from her upcoming book "Creative Sparks" that explores how embracing creativity can be a powerful form of self-care. Through affirmations, inspiration, and practical tips, Sharon will guide attendees on how to use their creative talents to nurture their well-being, reduce stress, and cultivate a more mindful and fulfilling life. Join us for an enlightening discussion on the transformative power of creativity in self-care practices.

    Join us for an engaging discussion with Sharon, a creativity coach, visual artist, teaching artist, yoga nidra guide, meditation guide, poet, and soon-to-be author. Sharon shares her journey back to art after pursuing a traditional career path and emphasizes the importance of creativity as self-care. The conversation covers themes such as the challenges and joys of embracing creativity at midlife, especially for those who may not have received encouragement earlier in life due to societal pressures towards more conventional careers. Sharon introduces her upcoming book, 'Creative Sparks: 21 Affirmations and Inspirations for Creativity at Midlife,' aimed at inspiring people to reconnect with their creativity. The discussion also explores the significance of creativity for personal growth, mental health, and cultural expression, particularly within the African American community. Additionally, it addresses overcoming common obstacles like the inner critic, imposter syndrome, and societal expectations, encouraging listeners to give themselves permission to explore their passions and creative impulses fully.

    About Sharon

    Sharon J. Burton is a visual artist, art curator, poet and certified creative coach and Founder of Spark Your Creative Coaching. Since 2016, she has focused on helping people in "creative recovery"... those looking to revive or jump start their creativity through group and individual coaching, workshops, her blog and as the host of Spark Your Creative Podcast which features artists and other creatives who are using their unique talents to create more mindful communities and a safer world. Sharon is a certified creativity coach through the Creativity Coaching Association. She completed requirements for the professional certificate in Art Business from New York University and a certificate in Art History through the Smithsonian. a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration and a Master of Public Administration. Sharon is also a Level II, Reiki Certified practitioner and received her Breath Work + Meditation Teacher Certification. Sharon infuses her creativity coaching with wellness practices to help her clients break through the blocks that prevent them from fully engaging in their creative potential.

    In this episode:

    • Aurora welcomes Sharon Burton to the "Embracing Intensity" podcast to discuss creativity as self-care.

    • Sharon reflects on reconnecting with Aurora after years and discusses the importance of creativity in her life and others'.

    • Aurora mentions the podcast's start in 2016, noting Sharon's early appearance in its second year.

    • Sharon introduces herself as a creativity coach, visual artist, yoga nidra and meditation guide, and soon-to-be author.

    • The discussion pivots to Sharon's upcoming book, "Creative Sparks: 21 Affirmations and Inspirations for Creativity at Midlife," focused on encouraging creativity in midlife individuals.

    • Sharon shares her journey from pursuing a practical business degree to rediscovering her artistic side, emphasizing the challenge and reward of returning to creativity.

    • A chapter from Sharon's book is shared, highlighting how creative practice can serve as a powerful form of self-care and aid in stress reduction, self-expression, self-discovery, boosting self-esteem, and promoting physical well-being.

    • Aurora and Sharon discuss the societal pressures that often discourage creative pursuits and share personal insights on recognizing and affirming one's creativity.

    • The conversation includes questions from the audience, exploring challenges faced by multi-talented individuals and ways to prioritize creativity amidst life's demands.

    • Discussion on where creativity comes from, suggesting it can originate both from within the mind and beyond the physical body.

    • The dialogue transitions to a discussion segment, where Sheldon joins to emphasize the unique experiences of creativity within the Black community and the impact of cultural and societal expectations.

    • Sharon responds by highlighting the evolving opportunities for creative expression enabled by technology and the importance of embracing creativity at any life stage.

    • Aurora wraps up by summarizing key takeaways: understanding one's creative "why," giving oneself permission to prioritize creativity, and inviting listeners to explore Sharon's upcoming book as a resource for inspiration and empowerment.

    • Sharon concludes with details about her book launch, her podcast, and how to connect with her online for more insights into fostering creativity.

    Resources:

    Sharon's Website

    Sharon's Book!

    I Must Be Bug'n Podcast

    Embracing Intensity Memberships

    Join our Community & Check out our calendar of upcoming events!

29. 271: The Importance of Play w/ Boontarika Sripom

    29.04.202448 Min.Als Nächstes

    Join us in a profound exploration of fun, creativity, and self-care in our latest Embracing Intensity Podcast episode with special guest Boontarika Sripom. Dive deep into the significance of play in nurturing …

    Shownotes

    Join us in a profound exploration of fun, creativity, and self-care in our latest Embracing Intensity Podcast episode with special guest Boontarika Sripom. Dive deep into the significance of play in nurturing personal growth and bringing joy into our lives, especially for the intensely creative and gifted. Boontarika, a life coach with a passion for play and a background in clinical psychology and human development, shares her insights on how engaging in playful activities can foster innovation, relieve stress, and support our overall well-being. Discover the psychological foundations of play, its role in human development, and how to incorporate more playful moments into your daily routine. Whether you're seeking ways to rejuvenate your creative spirit or find balance in your intense life, this conversation is a reminder of play's transformative power.

    For the creative, differently wired, and divergent thinker, play can be as natural as breathing. For some of us, there are layers of shame or uncertainty that inhibit playing across the lifespan. We may be separated from an essential part of maintaining authenticity. This conversation will explore the power of play, sprinkle archetypal journeys within play and fandoms, and encourage listeners to honor their inner children by playing. To those who continue playing: My inner child honors yours. I just waved at you across the playground. :)

    About Boontarika:

    Boontarika Sripom, MA is a therapy-informed life coach. Her work focuses on coaching using archetypes and understanding the cognition of the differently wired, specifically highly sensitive, creative, and gamer folks. She believes knowledge, guidance, and compassion leads to insights, individual acceptance, and empowerment to change. Boonie is a former preschool teacher, paraprofessional in special education, Outreach Counselor Intern, and College Counselor for creative students. She earned her Master's in Clinical Psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Her favorite games are Age of Empires, World of Warcraft, and Minecraft. She is currently playing Fortnite, Roblox, and The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.

    In this episode:

    • Rejuvenating rest and exploring creativity as self-care with Sharon Burton's upcoming book release.

    • The significance of play, especially for intense, gifted, creative individuals.

    • Boontarika introduces her talk on play's importance, touching on her background in clinical psychology and love for video games.

    • Discussion on the psychological aspects of play, highlighting its components like being purposeless, voluntary, and having inherent attraction.

    • Mentions of Stuart Brown and the National Institute of Play, and their work on defining the components of play.

    • Boontarika shares personal anecdotes and illustrations to explain concepts of play.

    • Exploration of play's therapeutic and developmental benefits, including combating depression and fostering a sense of community.

    • Reference to Jane McGonigal's works on how games can improve our lives and the role of gamification.

    • Emphasis on the therapeutic aspects for neurodivergent individuals and how play serves as a safe space.

    • Reflection on societal pressures, adulthood's responsibilities, and the overall decline in play.

    • Discussion turns to practical ways to reintegrate play into life and its broader benefits.

    • Concluding thoughts on the cultural and personal importance of play, inviting the audience to explore their own playful nature.

    • Integrating play into educational settings and acknowledging the varying definitions of play.

    Resources:

    Boontarika's Website

    Embracing Intensity Memberships

    Join our Community & Check out our calendar of upcoming events!

30. 270: Intensity & Harmony w/ Princess Fortier

    08.04.202446 Min.Als Nächstes

    In this engaging conversation, Aurora sits down with the multi-talented Princess Fortier, a beacon of inspiration in the journey of embracing one's intensity. Princess shares her remarkable story, from …

    Shownotes

    In this engaging conversation, Aurora sits down with the multi-talented Princess Fortier, a beacon of inspiration in the journey of embracing one's intensity. Princess shares her remarkable story, from neuroscientist to singer and model, highlighting how music became her tool for healing and transforming her life. Together, they delve into the themes of harnessing personal intensity, pursuing passions beyond conventional boundaries, and the power of gratitude journaling. Princess's insight provides a riveting exploration of living life unbounded and the beauty of connecting deeply with one's passions. Join us as we uncover the synergy between harmony and intensity, and discover how embracing your full self can lead to a fulfilling and impactful life.

    Discover how Princess overcame intense migraines through her passion for singing, marking a pivotal shift in her life that not only cured her physically but also steered her towards a fulfilling career in music. Throughout the episode, Princess shares her multifaceted experiences, from her challenges with perfectionism and navigating cultural expressions to engaging deeply with neurodiversity and entrepreneurship. Aurora and Princess delve into the significance of embracing one's intensity, using personal fire for positive impact, and the liberation found in gratitude and self-expression. This episode is a testament to the strength found in vulnerability, the beauty of pursuing one's passions, and the value of community support. Tune in to be inspired, find connection, and discover how to channel your own intensity into a force for good.

    This episode not only celebrates Princess's remarkable contributions to the field of music and arts but also sheds light on how embracing one's intensity can lead to groundbreaking discoveries and personal healing. Listen in as Princess shares her thoughts on perseverance, the significance of music in her life, her battle against perfectionism, and her spirited advocacy for journaling and gratitude as tools for navigating life's challenges.

    In this episode

    • Princess is an inspiring figure who transitioned from a neuroscientist to a singer/model and has been featured in shows like Abbott Elementary and All American.

    • Princess shares her unique story of how singing cured her chronic migraines, leading her to pursue a full-time music career.

    • The power of journaling, especially gratitude journaling, as a tool for self-reflection and goal setting.

    • Princess discusses the challenges and benefits of embracing one's intensity, including her resistance to being limited by societal expectations and finding freedom in diversity.

    • The dialogue touches on topics like neurodivergence, perfectionism, the importance of setting boundaries, and the impact of cultural and familial pressures.

    • Aurora and Princess share experiences of dealing with rejection sensitivity and the internal struggle of wanting to be liked and approved.

    • They explore the concept of using one's 'fire' for good, including sharing knowledge, setting examples for others, and creating transformative art.

    • Princess discusses how engaging in multiple passions, such as music and entrepreneurship, has allowed her to express her intensity in various domains.

    • Aurora emphasizes the importance of self-care and taking breaks to prevent burnout, acknowledging her own past of working on urgency.

    • The conversation also covers strategies for harnessing one's intensity and sensitivity, with Princess highlighting the power of gratitude practices.

    • Princess encourages the audience to let go of perfectionism and embrace their passions.

    • Both speakers reflect on personal growth, the importance of authentic self-expression, and supporting others in their journey to embrace their intensity.

    • Princess shares ways to connect with her and learn more about her journey and work, including her website and upcoming appearances.

    Resources:

    Princess on Instagram

    Princess' Website

    Join our Community & Check out our calendar of upcoming events!

    Embracing Intensity Memberships

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