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Motivation: Why Pushing Doesn't Work - and What Does

08.10.2026 · 35 Min.

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Has homework become a battle?


Has your child stopped trying or caring?


In this episode, I’m talking directly to the parents who feel like their child’s motivation has quietly slipped away, because I want to help you understand what’s really going on underneath that perceived lack of effort.


Spoiler alert: it’s almost never laziness.


I’m going to walk you through why pushing harder doesn’t work, why rewards and consequences lose their power, and what motivation really looks like in a developing brain. Then I’m going to share five practical things you can start doing today to help your child reconnect with learning and learn how to feel proud of themselves again.


If you’ve been feeling stuck, frustrated, or worried about your child’s motivation, this episode will help you see the problem differently and give you a clear path forward.


So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…


Highlights from this episode:

00:58 - The two kinds of motivation

06:31 - The three skills in this episode

08:26 - Early years and primary school

12:56 - Middle childhood and finding a sense of self

17:59 - Autism & ADHD

23:04 - My top five things

27:59 - Autonomy supporting language


💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together

💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/

💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library

💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025

💚 Brands and advertisers, email [email protected]


DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

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