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What Happens When You Out-Earn Your Partner? with Tori Dunlap

10.09.2026 · 1 Std. 1 Min.

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What happens when you start earning more than your partner, friends or even your parents?  What does it actually mean to be rich? New York Times bestselling author, Financial Feminist host and Her First $100K founder Tori Dunlap challenges the different financial lessons taught to women and men, reveals the investing mistake she sees constantly and explains why building wealth requires us to think beyond cutting expenses. Danielle and Tori also talk candidly about buying versus renting, out-earning a partner, separating net worth from self-worth—and why talking openly about money can deepen our relationships.

In this episode:

  • The financial audit that reveals whether you have an earning problem or a spending problem.
  • Why women are taught to save while men are taught to invest—and how that difference can shape a lifetime of wealth.
  • The overlooked second step that keeps money in many Roth IRAs, 401(k)s and brokerage accounts from actually being invested.
  • Why your earning potential may matter more than finding another expense to cut.
  • How multiple income streams helped Tori reach her first $100,000—and what she would do differently today.
  • Why renting isn’t “throwing money away” and buying a home may be an emotional decision rather than a financial one.
  • The hidden complications of out-earning your partner, parents or friends.
  • Why women can feel shame both when they’re struggling financially and when they’re succeeding.
  • How talking openly about money can create greater honesty and intimacy in your relationships.
  • Why having a high income means little if you don’t know how to protect, invest and sustain it.
  • The difference between a $10 purchase and a “$10,000 decision”—and which one deserves more of your attention.
  • Why automating your savings is one of the simplest financial habits with the greatest return.
  • How Tori learned to separate her net worth from her self-worth.
  • Why money management is a learned skill, not a trait you either possess or don’t.
  • How financial freedom can help you become “unfuckwithable”—able to leave any room, job or relationship that doesn’t respect you.

Tori’s Book Recommendation: Life of Pi by Yann Martel.

Grab a copy of Tori’s book, Financial Feminist, here.

Follow Tori on Instagram.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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