EP 286: A Checklist for BEING, not doing

I know how intensely we want a checklist. Do this, this, and this, and the dysregulation will end, and your kid will be OK. This episode is the story of chasing exactly that list (Dr. Sears' Attachment Parenting checklist that I worked to check off one by one) and finding something else entirely in Dan Siegel's Parenting From the Inside Out. He didn’t give a checklist at all, just a way of being.

So, I can’t give you a checklist, but this episode is the closest thing I can give you: a stance to hold as your foundation, and three relational moves that cycle on top of it, out of order, again and again.

In this episode you will learn:

• Why attachment (and regulation, and connection) resist a tidy checklist, and what to reach for instead when the flowchart doesn't exist
• The difference between the stance underneath everything (curiosity, compassion, non-judgment, staying with uncertainty) and the three moves that sit on top of it: noticing me, noticing you, noticing we
• Why losing the stance in a hard moment doesn't mean anything failed; actually, noticing you've lost it is itself the stance

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Parenting from the Inside Out → drdansiegel.com/book/parentingfromtheinsideout
• The Attachment Parenting Book: A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/being

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