What Are You Afraid Of?

What are you afraid of, underneath the spiders and the public speaking? In this episode of The Modern Taoist, Kit Mann looks at four kinds of fear that run people’s lives: fear of the unknown, fear of what other people will do, fear of loss, and fear of failure. He traces each one back to the same root, which is control.

Kit talks about a study where people found waiting on an uncertain outcome more stressful than knowing a shock was coming. He also brings in a mechanic who has kept his business plan in a kitchen drawer for eleven years, a dad who keeps refreshing his teenager’s location app, and a daughter learning to stop correcting her mother, who has dementia. He draws on Chapters 29, 71 and 74 of the Tao Te Ching and on wu wei, the Taoist idea of action that does not force. With those, he lays out a practical way to handle anxiety, worry and overthinking: name the fear, sort what is yours from what is not, take one action, and use your breath to calm the body.

In the listener question, Jimmy in Fort Collins asks how you can live in the present when you have kids heading to college and retirement to plan for. Kit explains where planning ends and worry begins, and what Lao Tzu says about it.

Taoism, the Tao Te Ching and Taoist philosophy for modern life, with practical tools for fear, anxiety and letting go of control.