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How to Have Happy Holidays: What Science Suggests

25.11.2025 · 19 Min.

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In this episode, I dig into one of my favorite topics—what really makes us happy—and why the holidays are the perfect time to rethink how we create joy for ourselves and our kids. If you’ve ever wondered why the things you anticipate don’t always end up being the things that actually fill your heart, you’re not alone. I explore the science behind pleasure versus happiness, why we confuse the two, and how small intentional choices can make the holiday season feel richer, calmer, and more meaningful.

Rather than chasing quick hits of dopamine, I walk through the PERMA model and share science-backed ways to help kids—and ourselves—feel more grounded, connected, and genuinely content. If you’re craving a holiday experience that lingers well beyond the wrapping paper and pumpkin pie, this episode will help you set the stage.

Links & Resources:

[0:00] – Opening welcome + exciting announcement about our new workbook
[1:20] – Why the holidays bring both joy and disappointment
[2:18] – Pleasure vs. happiness: how dopamine tricks us
[4:10] – The rush of rewards, hedonic adaptation, and why pleasure fades
[5:30] – Serotonin and the science of contentment
[6:20] – Reflecting on past holidays and why those memories stick
[7:05] – Introducing PERMA: the science of lasting happiness
[7:40] – P: Positive emotions—exercise, rest, gratitude, and Thanksgiving traditions
[8:55] – E: Engagement—how “I get to” changes everything
[9:35] – R: Relationships—the strongest predictor of long-term happiness
[10:51] – M: Meaning—why contributing and giving matter more than getting
[12:40] – Achievement—keeping accomplishment in healthy perspective
[14:10] – Better conversation starters for kids and teens
[15:20] – How intentional activities shape half of our happiness
[16:15] – Final reflections on gifts, gratitude, and meaningful experiences
[17:20] – Closing thoughts + message for parents who may want extra support

Links & Resources

If this episode has helped you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference.

Get trusted, research-grounded parenting advice based on Ned Johnson’s work with Dr. William Stixrud, available through Human Up in an interactive, personalized format. Podcast listeners can try the app free for three months with no obligation. Visit humanup.com or visit our episodes' show notes to access this special offer.

If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com

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