Impalement: Translation Problems

12.10.2026 · 1 Std. 28 Min.

Shownotes

What's the worst thing you can do with a stick?

In this episode of Torture: A Dark History, Kevin Young and Dan Hourigan explore the brutal history of impalement, a method of execution designed not just to kill, but to make the suffering last as long as possible. From ancient Babylon and Assyria to the Persian Empire, medieval Europe, and colonial Indonesia, impalement was used to punish criminals, crush rebellions, and send a very clear message to anyone thinking about challenging the people in charge.

We begin in 1800 Cairo, where a young theology student named Süleyman al Halabi assassinates a French general and receives one of the most horrifying punishments imaginable. From there, we travel through nearly four thousand years of history, examining Assyrian siege reliefs, Persian royal inscriptions, European criminal codes, the notorious punishments ordered by rulers like Peter the Great, and Dan confusing the Javanese with the Japanese.

Naturally, Kevin and Dan bring their dark sense of humor to a subject that makes even the most uncomfortable historical research feel like a particularly bad day at work. Along the way, we examine the different methods of impalement, why some victims survived for hours or even days, how a gruesome public execution became a powerful tool of terror, the translation issues that cause arguments between historians, and all of it with one GLARING omission.

It’s torture history, brutal executions, ancient empires, and the horrifying lengths rulers have gone to make sure everyone gets the message.

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