“Put Yourself in the Queue First” — Nicky Marshall
Notas do episódio
What happens when you spend so much of your life helping, caring for and making a difference to other people that you forget to include yourself?
My guest this week is Nicky Marshall — speaker, mentor, publisher, wellbeing facilitator and author of No One Is Coming to Save You. Nicky’s thought kept is: “To make a difference in this life, I had to put myself in the queue first.”
It’s a thought she came to through experience. After surviving a coercive relationship in her twenties, Nicky had a disabling stroke at 40 following a scuba diving accident. Her recovery took three years and required her to reconsider what resilience really looks like, how much we can ask of ourselves, and what happens when we stop waiting until everything else is done before tending to our own needs.
We talk about the difference between resilience and simply pushing through, why we so often look outside ourselves for the next person, programme or quick fix to make us feel better, and how we can begin to hear what we actually need. We also explore burnout and the small signals our bodies send us before they have to shout, people-pleasing, self-trust, learning to say no, and Nicky’s beautifully practical ways of putting herself back into her own day.
And we go somewhere else too: into spirituality, tarot, intuition, vision boards and the idea that perhaps what we are seeking might also be seeking us. Nicky talks about discovering paganism in her twenties, reconnecting with intuition and finding her own way of holding spirituality alongside a very busy, entrepreneurial life.
I loved where this conversation eventually landed: not on achieving some perfect state of balance, but on bounce. The possibility that our energy will change, life will change, we will sometimes lose ourselves a little — and we can learn how to come back.
If you’re someone who is very good at knowing what everybody else needs but finds it harder to put yourself into the equation, this conversation is for you.
In this episode, we talk about: self-care and putting yourself first; burnout and recognising your own warning signs; resilience after a major life change; self-reliance and asking for help; people-pleasing and saying no; intuition and self-trust; spirituality, tarot and paganism; vision boards and creating a life that actually feels like yours; and what it means to rediscover your bounce.
Books mentioned in this episode
No One Is Coming to Save You — Nicky Marshall
How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body — Dr David R. Hamilton
A Witch Alone — Marian Green
Tabby Turns the Tables — Nicky Marshall
If Lost, Start Here: Wellbeing for the Anxious, Disconnected or Uncertain — Claire Fitzsimmons & Amanda Sheeren
Listen next
Nicky’s book No One Is Coming to Save You makes an interesting companion to my earlier conversation with Edwina Jenner, whose thought kept was also “No one is coming to save you.” Two women, the same words, and different ways of exploring what they might ask of us.
Find Nicky
Nicky is an award winning, international speaker and best-selling author, born in Bath and now living in South Glos. Nicky is a mentor, workplace facilitator and keynote speaker, inspiring people to discover their own brand of Bounce. She has helped thousands through her books and keynotes, wellbeing and leadership development in the workplace. Nicky is also Editor In Chief at Discover Your Bounce Publishing, helping budding authors to write and publish their books.
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This is A Thought I Kept — Weekly conversations about the ideas that stay. Listen every Monday morning for a new thought to hold onto this week.
About Claire Fitzsimmons
Claire is the host of A Thought I Kept, a wellbeing writer, author and the co-founder of If Lost Start Here. As a Certified Coach and Emotions Coach Practitioner, Claire helps people navigate the everyday lost moments and all the feelings, from anxiety to grief, overwhelm to disconnection.
Buy Claire's first book, If Lost Start Here: Wellbeing for the Anxious, Disconnected or Uncertain here.
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Find out how to work with Claire here.
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The music for all episodes from August 10th was made by Leon in the Wilderness.