Bad Movies Rule!
- Episódios
- 443
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- Último episódio
- 13 nov 2026
Sobre o podcast
We’re not film critics. We’re not here to amuse ourselves. We’re here for you — because I know we can all use a laugh and a little bit of an escape. We discuss the movies, have some fun, and see if we can find some gems that the critics missed.
Episódios 443
#288 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 (1993)
James, Bob, and Ryan head to feudal Japan (via Astoria, Oregon) for the third live-action TMNT movie. Expect time-travel scepters, samurai swords, power-ranger energy, catchphrase theft, and a lot of “wait …
Notas do episódio
James, Bob, and Ryan head to feudal Japan (via Astoria, Oregon) for the third live-action TMNT movie. Expect time-travel scepters, samurai swords, power-ranger energy, catchphrase theft, and a lot of “wait, this isn’t the video game?”
Kurt had a last-minute family thing, so it’s a lean three-man crew breaking down the budget cuts, the suits, the fights, the complete misunderstanding of what made the turtles cool, and whether any of it still works 30+ years later.
Awards, screaming eagle energy, and the usual BMR chaos. No spoilers on the final call — you’ll have to listen for that.
Write in: [email protected]
Voicemail: (262) 757-8567
Mail: P.O. Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105Patreon: patreon.com/badmoviesrule
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PRE-GAME: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3
The Dead Starfish are outnumbered, under-prepared, and already concerned after a first look at Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III. This week’s pre-game covers the time-travel-to-feudal-Japan premise, the return …
Notas do episódio
The Dead Starfish are outnumbered, under-prepared, and already concerned after a first look at Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III.
This week’s pre-game covers the time-travel-to-feudal-Japan premise, the return of Casey Jones, the scores that will make you wince, the trailer’s heavy dose of “Schwing!” and Quantum Leap energy, and a few bold predictions (including whether the turtles invent pizza in ancient Japan). One of us had never seen any Ninja Turtles anything until recently. The suits look cheaper. The sets are big. And yes, turtle sex comes up.
Episode drops Friday morning at Midnight.
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Mailbag: Steven Seagal torture & Slap Hands Warfare
This mailbag is unhinged from the jump. We open a letter that digs into James’s lifelong pickle hatred (and somehow pivots into eggs, tomatoes, and taste-bud evolution), then dive into a pile of movies that …
Notas do episódio
This mailbag is unhinged from the jump. We open a letter that digs into James’s lifelong pickle hatred (and somehow pivots into eggs, tomatoes, and taste-bud evolution), then dive into a pile of movies that showed up in the mail: a Donnie Yen IP Man collection, Austin Butler’s Elvis, a 12-movie Steven Seagal pack with the most generic titles imaginable, and Cats (yes, the CGI one with the buttholes). Sticky-hand warfare erupts courtesy of a Walker, Texas Ranger-inspired gift. Brandon from Michigan sends So I Married an Axe Murderer, Mackinac Island fudge, and a Wing Commander plea, while AJ pitches Dutch (Ed O’Neill) as a holiday must. Voicemails bring a McRib challenge (with a full pre-review rant), a bank-robber getaway story, Halloween 4 squad-car logic from Duane, and a wrestling tag-team call-out involving Bob. Expect chaos, fudge regret, and the usual mailbag mayhem.
Email: [email protected]
Voicemail: 262-757-8567
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#287 Tank (1984)
James Garner owns a Sherman tank. A corrupt small-town sheriff frames his kid. Then the tank comes out. In this episode the crew (James, Clint, Charles, and Ryan) goes scene-by-scene through the 1984 oddity …
Notas do episódio
James Garner owns a Sherman tank. A corrupt small-town sheriff frames his kid. Then the tank comes out.
In this episode the crew (James, Clint, Charles, and Ryan) goes scene-by-scene through the 1984 oddity Tank. It’s part after-school-special father/son drama, part Police Academy-style riff, and part full-on “I’m driving my personal WWII tank through your police station” revenge movie. Shirley Jones drops lines you never expected from the Partridge Family mom, C. Thomas Howell tries to act, and a white-suited sheriff spends the runtime being the pettiest villain in Georgia.
Expect the usual BMR chaos: long tangents about NCO clubs, boats nobody should buy, “pussy communist,” the ethics of bringing your own tank to a new duty station, and whether a 56-year-old James Garner is still the most charming man alive. We also hand out the awards — including the first-ever Screaming Eagle (Best Inanimate Object) — and argue about whether the movie’s wild tonal shifts and non-ending sink it or make it rule.
Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule
Email Us: [email protected]
Voicemail: 262-757-8567
Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105
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Pre Game: Tank (1984)
James Garner owns a fully operational Sherman tank and uses it to stick it to a corrupt sheriff after his son gets railroaded in this 1984 “sticking it to the man” oddity. Join James, Clint, Ryan Mueller (the …
Notas do episódio
James Garner owns a fully operational Sherman tank and uses it to stick it to a corrupt sheriff after his son gets railroaded in this 1984 “sticking it to the man” oddity. Join James, Clint, Ryan Mueller (the mayor) as they react to the trailer, spiral into increasingly unhinged predictions about prison breaks, presidential pardons, and “Jail Jail,” and debate whether anyone actually dies in this PG-rated tank rampage that somehow includes nudity.
Tank currently sits at a 33% critic score, 48% audience score, and a 5.8 on IMDb. It’s not streaming free, but you can rent it for $3.99 on Amazon or YouTube if you want to go in prepared.
Does the tank rule, or is it ass cheeks? Pull up a chair and find out.
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Mailbag: Drunk Spider-Man Keeps Shooting Webs at the Moon
We made it to November. Halloween is over, Christmas is creeping in, and the mailbag is stacked. This week the table is covered in packages. We’ve got a Turbo Man Funko (Howard as Turbo Man, specifically), a …
Notas do episódio
We made it to November. Halloween is over, Christmas is creeping in, and the mailbag is stacked.
This week the table is covered in packages. We’ve got a Turbo Man Funko (Howard as Turbo Man, specifically), a full 12-pack of Cheer wine from Daniel, and a plush starfish mascot from Cory that is already destined for the pre- and post-game table. On top of that, a whole stack of movies landed: Expendables collection, The Frighteners, Doctor Detroit, Critters (the whole set), Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, Black Christmas, Not Another Teen Movie, The Pirate Movie, Pirates of Penzance, Krampus, Jack and Jill, King Solomon’s Mines, Dollman / Demonic Toys, Kentucky Fried Movie, and more. Some of these are going straight into the reacts pile.
We also got into emails and voicemails covering:
- How the show went from “talk about the movie” to full scene-by-scene breakdowns
- Which Fast & Furious / racing movie world you’d actually want to live in
- A drunk Waylon from Indianapolis calling to tell us Bob is the only one who doesn’t suck (multiple times)
- A wrestling RPG tag-team match question (who’s your partner, who’s the BMR crew member you’re fighting, and who’s their partner?)
- Resident Evil thoughts from across the ocean
- Kids headbanging to the mailbag theme and a 12-year-old who’s already a Terminator 2 / RoboCop guy
- Silence of the Lambs and the “Big Five” Oscars trivia
- A World Series update from a Rays fan who was at the game
- A “one drunk actor per scene” movie concept
- And a first-time email from a mailman who’s been through the whole catalog
Plus the usual chaos, inside jokes, and people who sent movies with zero notes (we still love you).
If you want in on the next one:
Email: [email protected]
Voicemail: (262) 757-8567
Physical mail: Bad Movies Rule! P.O. Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105Reacts from a lot of these movies are going up on the main YouTube channel, so keep an eye out.
Thanks for sending the goodies and the messages. This is the highlight of the week.
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#286 Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
Ten years of peace in Haddonfield. Then the Shape gets wheeled out of a boiler room on the eve of Halloween, wakes up in an ambulance, and decides it’s time to finish what he started. We’re breaking down …
Notas do episódio
Ten years of peace in Haddonfield. Then the Shape gets wheeled out of a boiler room on the eve of Halloween, wakes up in an ambulance, and decides it’s time to finish what he started.
We’re breaking down Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) with Bob Hauser (resident Halloween obsessive), Ryan Farrell, and Rachel Glassford. We’re talking the return of Donald Pleasence going full unhinged Loomis, Danielle Harris as young Jamie, Ellie Cornell as one of the most competent final girls in the entire franchise, the pink-and-blonde mask disaster, the substation, the posse of Flat Billy’s, the roof chase, and that ending twist that still catches people off guard.
Is this a confident, well-made sequel that actually looks and feels like fall in the Midwest, or is it another case of “we need Michael back, figure it out later”? We dig into the practical effects, the weird metaphysics, the tactical decisions Michael makes that somehow include driving stick and parallel parking a tow truck, and whether Rachel puts the whole movie on her back.
We also hand out the Will Patton Intensity Award, the Trash Can Full of Dirt, and the One Scene Wonder, then land on whether this one is a Bad Movie That Rules or a Good Movie Straight Up.
Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule
Email Us: [email protected]
Voicemail: 262-757-8567
Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105
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Pre Game: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
The BMR Dead Starfish are suiting up for a big one: Michael Myers in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. One host is going in completely blind (he’s never seen a Myers movie), the other has seen through …
Notas do episódio
The BMR Dead Starfish are suiting up for a big one: Michael Myers in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. One host is going in completely blind (he’s never seen a Myers movie), the other has seen through Part 5 plus the Rob Zombie ones, and the scouting report is all over the place.
They break down the Rotten Tomatoes scores (42% critics, 54% audience), the 2.8 Letterboxd rating, and a wild mix of reviews — from “greatest film of all time” to “too much Myers but also no Myers, and rednecks.” Then they watch the trailer, roast the janky mask, and lock in bold predictions: kill count (high teens vs. under), how the Shape gets taken out this time, and whether there’s a family-driven motive bringing him back after ten years.
If you haven’t seen it yet, watch Halloween 4 first (streaming on AMC+ or rent it for $3.99 on Prime) so you can jump in with the full episode on Friday. The post-game drops the same day on Patreon.
Brought to you by Rubber Fresh — make that murder mask smell like a pile of roses.
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Mailbag: Crystal Lake, BloodRayne, & EA Kills Mass Effect
Light physical mail week, so we dubbed it the Ryan Mailbag and immediately got handed Under the Rainbow—Chevy Chase, Carrie Fisher, and the largest gathering of little people ever assembled for a Wizard of Oz …
Notas do episódio
Light physical mail week, so we dubbed it the Ryan Mailbag and immediately got handed Under the Rainbow—Chevy Chase, Carrie Fisher, and the largest gathering of little people ever assembled for a Wizard of Oz munchkin debauchery comedy. We still don’t fully know what happens in it. We just know the stories are wild.
Erin writes in about the Friday the 13th Part 3 episode and nearly dies laughing over hammock sex, dead starfish, pooping-while-getting-killed jokes, and Bob’s delicate butthole. Josh checks in from Myrtle Beach after living in an actual Crystal Lake, nine years cancer free, sitting by the lake with a room-temperature Pepsi and a Hershey’s Fifth Avenue to honor his grandfather. Kevin wants a Dead or Alive review and drops BloodRayne as a suggestion that will haunt us. James finds out EA closed BioWare and canceled Mass Effect 5 mid-development and has some feelings about it.
Voicemails bring Sean from Missouri ranking the entire Leprechaun series (Origins is the worst, In the Hood is a classic), Travis from Pennsylvania with a heavy personal update that the show helped him through, and Christian from South Africa talking voice work that includes a George Takei restaurant and some very questionable film titles. Lion Steve wants our thoughts on Tulsa King, The Pit, Grimm, and Reacher. Then Jake sends us on a Google Street View tour of DeSoto, Missouri that starts with Jeff Speakman energy and ends in senior apartments and pure anticlimax.
Emails, voicemails, movie arrivals, video game grief, and one town that sucks. The usual mailbag energy.
Email: [email protected]
Voicemail: (262) 757-8567
Mail: Bad Movies Rule, P.O. Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105
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#285 Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)
Alice is back in another underground Umbrella lab, clones are running wild, and Jill Valentine is somehow worse than ever. We go scene-by-scene through the fifth Resident Evil movie — reverse openings, napkin …
Notas do episódio
Alice is back in another underground Umbrella lab, clones are running wild, and Jill Valentine is somehow worse than ever. We go scene-by-scene through the fifth Resident Evil movie — reverse openings, napkin awakenings, laser grids, Tokyo simulations, Call of Duty zombies, ax-wielding giants, and a White House finale that somehow feels like Mordor. Bob, Joe, and Stephanie join James as the chaos escalates, the running gags pile up, and we hand out the usual awards. Does this one rule, or is it just another bad movie? You’ll have to listen to find out.
Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule
Email Us: [email protected]
Voicemail: 262-757-8567
Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105
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Pre Game: Resident Evil: Retribution
The BMR Pregame Show is live from Raccoon City. James, Clint, and Ryan get you ready for this Friday’s full episode on Resident Evil Retribution (2012) — the fifth movie in the series and the one where things …
Notas do episódio
The BMR Pregame Show is live from Raccoon City. James, Clint, and Ryan get you ready for this Friday’s full episode on Resident Evil Retribution (2012) — the fifth movie in the series and the one where things have almost certainly stopped pretending to make sense.
They haven’t seen it yet. That doesn’t stop them from putting the scores on trial (28% critics, 51% audience), comparing it to the last one they covered, reacting to the trailer, and making kill-count and bold predictions. Bob, Joe, and Steph are on the actual episode Friday. Clint and Ryan are not.
In this pregame:
- Tale of the tape and how it stacks up to the previous Resident Evil movies
- Where you can stream it right now (Netflix and Prime) so you can watch before Friday
- Trailer reaction
- Kill count and left-field predictions
- Who’s actually on the Friday episode
Watch the movie before Friday if you can — it makes the episode better. Drop your thoughts, the exact scene where the series fully jumps the shark, or your own predictions in the comments or at [email protected].
Full episode drops Friday, October 23rd. Stick around after for the postgame on Patreon.
Timestamps (approximate from the recording): 0:00 – Intro + fake ads from Raccoon City
1:00 – Setting the scene for Resident Evil Retribution
2:00 – Scores and why it qualifies
4:30 – How it compares to Afterlife
5:30 – Where to stream it + runtime
7:00 – By movie 5 they’ve stopped pretending
9:00 – Trailer reaction
12:40 – Kill count & bold predictions
17:50 – Who’s on Friday’s episode
19:00 – Watch it first + postgame CTALearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Mailbag: Which Movie World Could You Survive for 24 Hours?
The mailbag is stacked this week. A Beaverton care package delivers Oregon saltwater taffy (pickle pieces quarantined) plus a full Macho Man Randy Savage rap CD that disses Hogan. The movie haul includes a …
Notas do episódio
The mailbag is stacked this week. A Beaverton care package delivers Oregon saltwater taffy (pickle pieces quarantined) plus a full Macho Man Randy Savage rap CD that disses Hogan. The movie haul includes a bloody In a Violent Nature collector’s set, The Burning, Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, brutal WWII John Wick-style action, and the complete Leprechaun collection just in time for the new series.
BJ from Six Flags Great America sends FrightFest passes and a personal invite. Bobcat from Fargo drops a sled-dog Alaska story, a signed Billy Zane Phantom photo, a Teen Wolf Funko, Battlefield Earth on VHS, Chuck Norris in Good Guys Wear Black, Kevin Sorbo as Call the Conqueror, David Carradine in Dino Croc, and snacks that include chicken-and-waffle Oreos and garlic pickle popcorn.
Voicemails bring DJ’s Homer City street-view roast, Bradley’s Cyborg/Spy Hard/Waterworld lessons (night guns, flip-flop awards, Bullet Face, Chisum earworms), and Rob’s Neighbors/Doctor Detroit deep cut with Belushi, Aykroyd, and Fear on SNL. Emails settle the Friday the 13th hammock question, pitch a Dirt Bike Kid react, force a Fifth Element vs. Starship Troopers vs. Waterworld survival pick, and force the crew to read the actual “Big Bad Wolf” Teen Wolf lyrics out loud.
Plus the usual Packers-Bears fallout.
Physical mail, voicemails, and emails all open. P.O. Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 or [email protected] or 262-757-8567 if you want in next time.
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#284 Leprechaun (1993)
Warwick Davis in the role that somehow launched an eight-movie franchise. Jennifer Aniston in her first big movie. And Dana joins the show for the very first time to help us figure out how a movie this dumb got …
Notas do episódio
Warwick Davis in the role that somehow launched an eight-movie franchise. Jennifer Aniston in her first big movie. And Dana joins the show for the very first time to help us figure out how a movie this dumb got made.
We dig into the clover rules, the inconsistent powers, the flashlight beatdowns, and whether the leprechaun was ever actually the villain or just a small guy who wanted his gold back. Spoiler: opinions are split, and nobody is fully ready for how not-scary this thing is.
Full uncut version available on Patreon.
Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule
Email Us: [email protected]
Voicemail: 262-757-8567
Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105
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Pre-Game: Leprechaun
BMR Pregame: Leprechaun (1993). The Dead Starfish lace up against a little guy in a box, and nobody on the panel has a clean memory of how this actually goes. From the trailer we try to figure out why a Dick …
Notas do episódio
BMR Pregame: Leprechaun (1993). The Dead Starfish lace up against a little guy in a box, and nobody on the panel has a clean memory of how this actually goes.
From the trailer we try to figure out why a Dick Tracy extra is mailing a leprechaun, why Jennifer Aniston’s feet are Quentin Tarantino’s favorite shot, and why nobody in this house can just leave. Predictions cover the shipping theory, the car that will not start, the body count, and who walks out. Ryan is chasing another dead-even split. Somebody else is calling a blowout the other way.
Friday, October 16: Leprechaun. Dave and Brian from Sam Movie Jam join Mattila and the crew.
Bad Movies Rule! is a weekly roast of the movies you were not supposed to love. New episodes Fridays at 7 PM CST.
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Mailbag: Final Destination Fallout & Teen Wolf Lyrics
The boxes are jammed and the snacks have their own storage unit. Daniel More sent Cheerwine and a whole snack bunker from North Carolina, Ryan Morenci loaded us up with pork rinds and cookies, and Combat Wiener …
Notas do episódio
The boxes are jammed and the snacks have their own storage unit. Daniel More sent Cheerwine and a whole snack bunker from North Carolina, Ryan Morenci loaded us up with pork rinds and cookies, and Combat Wiener Dog mailed Gary Busey keychains plus a stack of stickers that include a Die Hard duck and a Sean Connery loser quote. Movies in the pile: Guns Akimbo, TerrorVision, The Video Dead, Wing Commander, and a Stephen King triple of the Tim Curry It, the Steven Weber Shining, and Salem's Lot.
Then the mail turns on us. Steven Serna assigns every host a BMR movie that matches their persona. Joseph Paces fantasy-drafts a real Terror Squad (Chuck Connors, Steve James, Billy Drago, and a few more). Eric Valov demands a new nickname because he will not share Rubber Lover. Craig Soto, listening since 2021, writes in with a life update that we are absolutely taking credit for. Greg from New Jersey reports back from an AC/DC show and Hell's Bells. HR resigns after the counter hit five. Mr. Anonymous defends Final Destination 5 and 7. Timothy Caldwell puts Monster Squad back on the October list and calls out the Terror Squad vote. Matt calls from Seville with a Great Outdoors credits Easter egg. Chris calls from South Africa after committing the sin of listening to the competition. Bill closes it by singing the Teen Wolf basketball song straight through.
Email [email protected], call or leave a voicemail at (262) 757-8567, or send physical mail to Bad Movies Rule, P.O. Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105.
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#283: Friday the 13th Part 3
Friday the 13th Part 3 finally gets the BMR treatment, and the Human Movie Database is back in the room to help survive it. Ryan Farrell returns after four months away, the same crew from Part 2 is assembled …
Notas do episódio
Friday the 13th Part 3 finally gets the BMR treatment, and the Human Movie Database is back in the room to help survive it. Ryan Farrell returns after four months away, the same crew from Part 2 is assembled, and Jason is now a ripped pro wrestler in a hockey mask that only exists because a lighting test went sideways.
Steve Miner (or Stefan, depending who you ask) shoots the whole thing in 3D, so laundry poles, yo-yos, and the slowest harpoon in horror history are aimed straight at your face. The disco credits never charted, except in gay nightclubs. The movie knocked E.T. out of the number-one spot. Harold is eating donuts off the shelf and getting murdered on the toilet. A biker named Loco attacks a rope. Somebody has hammock sex. Somebody else dies mid-handstand. And Chris delivers a backstory monologue so stiff it got studied in academia.
We cover the accidental birth of the mask, the barn Jason was just trying to nap in, why Part 2 suddenly looks like Cannes, and whether anyone in this cast can say a line like a human being. Awards get handed out. The final verdict does not get spoiled here.
Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule
Email Us: [email protected]
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Pre-Game: Friday the 13th Part 3
The BMR pregame is back, and this week the boys are getting ready for Friday the 13th Part 3 in 3D. James, Clint, and Ryan settle the “we already did Jason Goes to Space, so why are we going backwards?” …
Notas do episódio
The BMR pregame is back, and this week the boys are getting ready for Friday the 13th Part 3 in 3D. James, Clint, and Ryan settle the “we already did Jason Goes to Space, so why are we going backwards?” argument, recap how badly the Final Destination predictions went, and then watch the trailer like professionals who definitely know how IMDb works.
Predictions are locked: one survivor or a last-second fake-out, body counts from 8 to 12, yo-yo guy is doomed, a woods cop is probably not making it, and the 3D gags might be the thing that splits the room. They also check the scores, argue about whether this one even belongs on the show, and map out the rest of the Friday the 13th pile before Halloween.
Streaming on Paramount+. Full roast drops Friday. Postgame is on Patreon the next day.
Patreon.com/badmoviesrule
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Mailbag: The Chuck Norris Movie Rumored to Launder Mob Money
The post office called at 11 a.m. and told us to come get our stuff before they start charging rent. We skipped a week. The box retaliated. This mailbag is Ryan, Clint, and a table full of things we did not …
Notas do episódio
The post office called at 11 a.m. and told us to come get our stuff before they start charging rent. We skipped a week. The box retaliated.
This mailbag is Ryan, Clint, and a table full of things we did not earn. Art sent a Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos figure and a pile of Pop Rocks, then stood back. Cory sent a Goldfinger DB5 with a working ejector seat and a 14-and-up warning we immediately stress-tested. A typewriter letter from our dark lord of stubbed toes claims Mattress Mack produced Sidekicks to settle a debt, then pivots into a Walker, Texas Ranger note, a Junior Rangers pitch, and a request that we still do Trial by Fire. We are doing Trial by Fire.
The movie pile is unhinged. Popstar. Grizzly. The Final Girls. Exorcist II. A Titans triple feature nobody can read the year on. Pluto Nash. Hell House LLC. Jack Frost and Christmas Vacation 2. Tammy and the T-Rex. Neighbors. Theodore Rex. Haunted Honeymoon. The Couch Trip. Donnie Darko, which one of us has successfully avoided out of spite. The first season of Welcome to Derry. The Ladies Man. Student Bodies, which promises 1,423 laughs. Then Murph closes the show with a cassette player, a drawing of Arnold and Carl Weathers, and a stack of soundtracks: Rocky IV, Iron Eagle, Rambo, Batman, Lost Boys, Octopussy, Beverly Hills Cop II, and a blank tape we are absolutely sending back as a mix.
Emails and voicemails cover a Terminal Velocity voting apology, a Sleepaway Camp curve argument, sword-and-sandal picks from Canada, a Mississippi spelling lesson, a Robert Englund convention story, Richard Pryor’s Moving, and Brian Boucher lobbying for movies that still shoot in actual towns. Kokomo, we are coming.
Packages, letters, and voicemails: [email protected] and 262-757-8567
BMR Hits the Spot playlist is on Spotify if you want the soundtrack version of this problem.
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#282: Final Destination (2000)
This episode is sponsored by Quince - 40% off and free shipping here, and it supports the show! - quince.com/badmovies A kid has a vision, his mom rips the good-luck tag off his luggage, and an entire plane …
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This episode is sponsored by Quince - 40% off and free shipping here, and it supports the show! - quince.com/badmovies
A kid has a vision, his mom rips the good-luck tag off his luggage, and an entire plane full of students explodes. The movie says it's death. We say it's mom.
Stephanie is back, Brian Draws Movies is back, and Jesse returns to the studio with a confession: his younger self, who loved this movie on VHS, might have been a dumbass. Or he's sandbagging. You'll have to stick around to find out.
On the scene-by-scene, we dig into the FBI agents who wandered in from an X-Files reject pile, the most baffling memorial sculpture ever unveiled, an owl with a front-row seat to Devon Sawa's private time, a small-town mortician who is extremely obviously Candyman, and the forensic breakthrough of the century: caramelized blood. Plus a 47-year-old baby, a girl named Clear Rivers (yes, on purpose), Seann William Scott one year after Stifler, a sentient live wire with a grudge, and a death-fart theory that may have cost one of us a night on the couch.
Then we hand out the hardware, including the Will Patton Award for Intensity and the Steven Seagal Trash Can Full of Dirt, before the final verdict. Is this a horror classic that still holds up, or did we all just have terrible taste in 2000?
Also, Arnold Schwarzenegger punches death in Paris. It goes about how you'd expect.
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Pre-Game Show: Final Destination
Death has a boarding pass and a sense of humor. This Friday we kick off spooky season with the movie that turned everyday objects into murder weapons: Final Destination (2000). A teen has a vision of a plane …
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Death has a boarding pass and a sense of humor. This Friday we kick off spooky season with the movie that turned everyday objects into murder weapons: Final Destination (2000).
A teen has a vision of a plane exploding, yanks his friends off the flight… and then Death starts collecting. Elaborate “accidents.” Rube Goldberg kill scenes. Ali Larter. Tony Todd’s voice of doom. The question isn’t if someone’s next. It’s how stupid the next chain reaction will look.
On this episode: Stephanie’s official monthly-rotation comeback, Brian, and Jessie Hurst returning for the first time since Episode 9 (The Fifth Element). We watch the trailer, argue body counts, guess who actually walks away, and try not to get judged in the post-game.
Go watch it first if you can — it’s on HBO Max right now (or $4 to rent). You’ll have more fun roasting the deaths with us.
Episode drops Friday.
Pregame is already live.
Post-game breakdown lives on Patreon only.See you on the other side of the explosion.
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Mailbag: A Raccoon Just Surrendered to My Dog
James, Clint, and Ryan open another BMR mailbag and immediately hire a guy who sent a resume they can’t open. Jesse Rubin gets fired from Publix, attaches an Apple Pages file, then saves himself with juice …
Notas do episódio
James, Clint, and Ryan open another BMR mailbag and immediately hire a guy who sent a resume they can’t open.
Jesse Rubin gets fired from Publix, attaches an Apple Pages file, then saves himself with juice samples and walks out as Jesse Juice. Jesse Snyder praises the new mailbag guitar riff and launches a full chaps vs. ass-chaps debate courtesy of Terminal Velocity. Sean from Jefferson City says the show actually improved his mood. Ryan drops a spoiler-free take on the new Resident Evil. Special Ed Fred requests an emotional-support hotline and almost doxxes himself. Clint recaps Ginger Man / 24 Hours of LeMans (2nd in class) and points everyone to the shirtless car-wash clip. Mike Goede admits he voted Vertical Limit then buried it in awards, hopes for a 2027 calendar, and says the movies have become a family thing. Bill Gerson floats the forgotten Mr. T series T and T. A Des Moines caller describes a raccoon that nodded at him and fled a pitbull. Greg from New Jersey hits Rad Day, the Transformers 40th, and pitches Mean Guns. Adam writes in after a breakup and the table actually shows up for him. Rocker demands a Kent, Washington roast and gets Amazon warehouses and Ernie’s Fuel Stop. Trapper Dave offers to drop a raccoon in the studio. James counters with the Grass Lake Road garbage-can raccoon and a scuba air rifle.
Email: [email protected]
Voicemail: (262) 757-8567
Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105
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#281 Terror Squad (1987)
Terror Squad (1987) takes four terrorists, a nuclear plant, and the entire town of Kokomo, Indiana, and somehow still finds time for detention, aerobics, and a car chase that will not end. Chuck Connors is the …
Notas do episódio
Terror Squad (1987) takes four terrorists, a nuclear plant, and the entire town of Kokomo, Indiana, and somehow still finds time for detention, aerobics, and a car chase that will not end.
Chuck Connors is the chief of police. High schoolers are doing Breakfast Club in a boiler room. Somebody brought an RPG to a cornfield. And yes — the bus changes size mid-movie and they thought you wouldn’t notice.
James, Ryan, Curt, and Dave tear through Peter Maris’s only-in-the-80s pileup: Death-to-America cold open, hot-dog-bun recon, grocery-guy stunt work, harmonica timing, homemade crossbows, and the longest white-sedan demolition derby Kokomo ever paid for.
Awards. Recasts. The one scene that made the whole table lose it. Patreon votes in the mix.
If you like practical explosions, plans that last 20 feet, and small-town cop movies that forget what town they’re in — this is the one.
Got a correction, a voicemail, or a theory about where they got the second RPG?
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Voicemail: 262-757-8567
Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105
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Mailbag: This Raccoon Story Ends at the ER
Curt Mummer drops in with a $40 bottle of chocolate banana Fanta that tastes like a plumber’s aftertaste, a two-year-old wrapped around a banana, and the paper wrapper on a Tootsie Roll. Nobody likes it …
Notas do episódio
Curt Mummer drops in with a $40 bottle of chocolate banana Fanta that tastes like a plumber’s aftertaste, a two-year-old wrapped around a banana, and the paper wrapper on a Tootsie Roll. Nobody likes it. Everybody respects the bit.
The table also gets a last-minute Chuck Norris Karate Commandos figure (stache era, no beard, full mullet), a “You Should Leave” horror welcome sign from Kerry Ahern (Freddy, Ghostface, Chucky — welcome crossed out), and three movies in the mail: Cronenberg’s Shivers and Videodrome plus Gregory Hines in White Nights.
Then the BMRmy unloads:
David from New Hampshire lets his dogs out and a raccoon runs across his bare feet, hisses from the railing, and leaves a five-inch scratch that turns into six rabies shots and a scar. The table immediately offers competing raccoon stories, a chipmunk bite, attic babies, and one shotgun-in-the-neighborhood tale.
Vickie calls from the UK with box three incoming — prawn cocktail crisps, biscuits, and something special for James.
Michael Bjork congratulates Grandpa James, finally says something nice about Bob (it only took Teen Wolf), drops werewolf lore (full moon and silver arrived late), and asks about the competition and We Can Do It Better.
Matt clocks that High Chief Peter Maivia — The Rock’s grandfather — was the henchman and the fight choreographer in You Only Live Twice. Die Another Episode gets another vote.
Uncle Nasty writes in about missing The Prophecy awards, a brother who kept alligators in the bathtub, and a real mental-health check. The table stops being idiots for a minute and tells him to stay.
Bradley Great Scott calls in with Lessons From Bad Movies (Cool as Ice, Rad, American Ninja, Masters of the Universe, Garbage Pail Kids, Hard to Kill, Surviving the Game). Trapper Dave offers to source a raccoon. Art from Chicago IDs Chomp the Snapper in Humboldt Park and gives Madeline an Alaska timing warning. Dwayne from Tennessee insists burning the house in Vampires just makes them a cocoon. The guys disagree. Loudly.
Same contacts as always. Same chaos. Send more.
Email: [email protected]
Voicemail: (262) 757-8567
Mail: PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
#280 Terminal Velocity (1994)
Charlie Sheen is Ditch Brodie: Olympic gymnast, flying penis, and the only skydiving instructor who thinks “I hooked her in like I always do” is a solid alibi. Nastassja Kinski shows up wanting lessons and …
Notas do episódio
Charlie Sheen is Ditch Brodie: Olympic gymnast, flying penis, and the only skydiving instructor who thinks “I hooked her in like I always do” is a solid alibi. Nastassja Kinski shows up wanting lessons and immediately vanishes mid-flight. James Gandolfini plays the world’s least convincing deputy DA. Christopher McDonald (Shooter McGavin himself) brings rubber gloves, a knife for a business card, and enough intensity to win the Will Patton award in a landslide.
Joe, Rachel, and Dr. Ryan Mattila join James for a full scene-by-scene roast of this Point Break knockoff that Hollywood built around stunts first and a plot later. Expect dummy bounces that look like MythBusters rejects, a Cadillac driven out the back of a plane, night jumps into silos, a rocket car that has never been tested, and more one-liners than a movie like this has any right to deliver.
Is it a good movie? Is it a bad movie that rules? The table is split. The patrons who voted it in are even more split. We talk gymnastics backstory that nobody needed, gold bars on a commercial flight, windmills in canyons, and why you should never send gold in the mail.
September Patreon push is on — extra shows going out for free so you can see what you’re missing.
Strap in. We’re going terminal.
Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule
Email Us: [email protected]
Voicemail: 262-757-8567
Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105
Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule
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You Only Live Twice (1967) - Die Another Episode
Entire episode is free as part of our annual Patreon Push. We wanted you to hear what you may be missing by not being a member, enjoy! We are going movie by movie through the James Bond franchise …
Notas do episódio
Entire episode is free as part of our annual Patreon Push. We wanted you to hear what you may be missing by not being a member, enjoy! We are going movie by movie through the James Bond franchise.
patreon.com/badmoviesrule.com
Connery’s fifth outing as 007 was supposed to be the big send-off. Instead we get a bored Sean, a Roald Dahl script that treats the novel like a travel brochure, and the first time we actually see Blofeld’s face (Donald Pleasence, piranha pool, emotional-support cat and all).
James fakes his own death, gets shot out of a torpedo tube, immediately gets clocked in a Tokyo alley, watches sumo, busts through paper walls, fights The Rock’s grandpa with a couch, slides into Tanaka’s secret underground office, flies Little Nellie, trains as a ninja, and storms a hollowed-out volcano while America and Russia keep losing spaceships to a giant rocket-eating spacecraft. Three Bond girls (Aki, Helga, Kissy), zero convertibles Bond can actually fit in, and a whole lot of “why does this six-foot Scotsman think he’s blending in?”
We recap the whole messy, spectacular, strangely slow ride, hand out the Will Patton Intensity, Best Henchman, Best Bond Girl and Best Death awards, and try to figure out why a movie with ninjas, a volcano lair and piranhas still somehow feels like it’s missing some of that classic Bond-ness.
Next month we jump to George Lazenby and On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. For now, come hang in the volcano with us.
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Mailbag: Chuck Norris, Carolina Reapers & the Will Patton Trophy
The BMRmy showed up with the goods this week. Erin Miller sends an Ernest festival poster AND a kicking Chuck Norris Karate Commandos figure. Bill McFucherCakes ships a Teen Wolf Beavers #42 jersey that is …
Notas do episódio
The BMRmy showed up with the goods this week.
Erin Miller sends an Ernest festival poster AND a kicking Chuck Norris Karate Commandos figure. Bill McFucherCakes ships a Teen Wolf Beavers #42 jersey that is going on the wall. James from sticky Nashville gifts Carolina Reaper jerky and we eat it on camera. Then the night shift opens a package from Wyoming and a physical 3D-printed Will Patton Award hits the table. Studio is getting decorated. Reverse Mailbag is getting closer.
Cora settles the Toledo War with the tragic tale of Lucky the Mule. Brian Austin updates alligator anatomy and issues a PSA: do not vape during BMR. Kurt from Salt Lake City names James’s least favorite driving situation a Mormon roadblock. Stephen proposes a new review segment with very specific rules involving five-year-olds, a gymnasium door, ducks, and one duck the size of a horse. Matt Mulholland demands Teen Wolf 3: The Reckoning. Drew Parks describes the morning a six-foot alligator used its tail as a doorbell. Plus Oscar for Tim Curry, Vampires vs. James Woods, a Disney vacation that involved a man o’ war AND fire ants, and someone trying to start beef with Samurai Movie Jam.
Reach out. We want the stories, the hauls, the unhinged theories.
Email: [email protected]
Voicemail: (262) 757-8567
Physical mail: PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105Patreon is how the lights stay on and how we get to 1,000 for Reverse Mailbag. If you’ve been on the fence, now’s the time.
Terror Squad is coming. Watch it first if you want to suffer with us.
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#279 The Prophecy (1995)
This week James, Chuck, Nicole, and Clint take on Gregory Widen’s 1995 supernatural oddity The Prophecy. Christopher Walken perches on furniture like a vulture, licks crime scenes, rips out hearts, and chews …
Notas do episódio
This week James, Chuck, Nicole, and Clint take on Gregory Widen’s 1995 supernatural oddity The Prophecy. Christopher Walken perches on furniture like a vulture, licks crime scenes, rips out hearts, and chews garlic the entire shoot so the other actors stay properly repulsed. Viggo Mortensen shows up barefoot as Lucifer. Eric Stoltz plays a beautiful hobo angel. A little girl starts drawing Korean War atrocities after a very uncomfortable soul transfer. Heaven’s closed. Hell’s always open. Even on Christmas.
Is this a theological train wreck? Are the angel rules completely made up? Why does nobody in this movie know how to sit in a chair? We recast Arnold, hand out awards, and try to decide whether Walken single-handedly saves a movie that keeps forgetting to explain itself.
Pick a side. The war’s already started.
Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule
Email Us: [email protected]
Voicemail: 262-757-8567
Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105
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MAILBAG: Raccoon Blood, Alligator Ass & a Rhinoceros Pencil
The first mailbag of September is here and the BMRmy showed up heavy. James, Clint, and Ryan kick things off with Great Outdoors leftover emails, a Battlefield Earth marriage update, teen-vs-adult movie …
Notas do episódio
The first mailbag of September is here and the BMRmy showed up heavy.
James, Clint, and Ryan kick things off with Great Outdoors leftover emails, a Battlefield Earth marriage update, teen-vs-adult movie letdowns, and a Christmas movie rec that almost qualifies. Then the voicemails get unhinged: a raccoon-and-parasite survival story that takes a hard left into blood cravings, Deadliest Warrior identified at last, Toto singing the Gummi Bears theme, bear-wrangling movie magic, Reggie the Long Beach alligator, and a Kansas highway tire that nearly ended a family road trip.
Joe and Rachel take the night shift and rip through 15 packages. Movies pour in (Mannequin, the full Smokey and the Bandit run, Time Bandits, Yellowbeard, Gung Ho, Cooties, the complete Ash vs Evil Dead, Saturday Night Fever + Stayin’ Alive). Christian ships South African chips and wors from across the ocean. Someone gifts a factory-sealed Steven Seagal CD featuring “Alligator Ass” and “Talk to My Ass.” Joe gets a commissioned portrait and an Ace Ventura rhinoceros pencil sharpener. Jimmy White drops They Live, Phantom, Flash Gordon figures, a Packers Transformer, and Mass Effect N7 shot glasses.
Plus: the Patreon push toward 1,000 (calendar), 1,050 (host trading cards), and 1,100 (Bob care package + reverse mailbag videos).
Send your own:
[email protected]
(262) 757-8567
PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105The mailbag theme is on Spotify. Add it to a playlist and skip us if you want. We won’t be mad. Much.
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#278 Teen Wolf (1985)
Patron Jim D hand-picked this one and the crew, so the pressure is on. Michael J. Fox turns into a basketball werewolf in the most 1985 movie ever made, and James, Joe, Bob, and Curt are here to ride the …
Notas do episódio
Patron Jim D hand-picked this one and the crew, so the pressure is on. Michael J. Fox turns into a basketball werewolf in the most 1985 movie ever made, and James, Joe, Bob, and Curt are here to ride the Wolfmobile straight through it.
We break down the free-throw panic, the locker-room “changes,” van surfing with sandpaper on the roof, the liquor-store keg heist, Seven Minutes in Heaven gone feral, a dad who is the cutest werewolf alive, a dance that invents “The Wolf,” and a championship game that somehow still has referees. Also: red rockets, Beavers, breakdancers who don’t go to this school, and whether Pamela actually wanted the wolf.
Plus Arnold recasts, the awards (intensity, trash-can performance, one-scene wonder, best supporting), and the official BMR verdict… which we will not spoil here.
Due to Jim D. Come howl with us.
We’re pushing for 1,000 patrons by October 15. Calendar, trading cards, and Bob’s care package are on the line.
Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule
Email Us: [email protected]
Voicemail: 262-757-8567
Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105
Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule
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Douglas Tait: Jason, Michael Myers, and the Sasquatch
Douglas Tait has worn two of horror’s most famous masks and still answers to Sasquatch. The actor/stuntman/creature performer talks growing up on classic monsters, landing the final Jason scene in Freddy vs …
Notas do episódio
Douglas Tait has worn two of horror’s most famous masks and still answers to Sasquatch. The actor/stuntman/creature performer talks growing up on classic monsters, landing the final Jason scene in Freddy vs. Jason, doubling Michael Myers, surviving brutal suit days, and directing his own thriller Angel Baby. Plus Zathura practical effects, Grimm’s Zerstörer, Five Nights at Freddy’s 2, and a few jobs so dumb he still can’t believe he cashed the check.
Find Doug at conventions and @DouglasTait on Instagram and TikTok.
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