Parenting 2.0: The Work Begins With Us | Dr. Francine Toder

This is an episode re-run and one that is still so relevant and needs a re-listen. It seems actually that it is even more relevant today. Parent's are still asking Parents are still asking, "How do I stay close to my adult child without pushing them away?" Francine Toder's answer isn't another communication technique—it's something much harder: look at yourself first.

When our children become adults, many of us assume the hardest years are behind us. But for countless parents, the challenges simply change.

In this thoughtful conversation, psychologist and author Dr. Francine Toder explains why building healthy relationships with our adult children requires something many of us never expected: changing ourselves.

Drawing from her book Your Kids Are Grown: Parenting 2.0, Francine explores why parents often experience anxiety, disappointment, and even physical stress over their adult children's decisions—and why those feelings are often signals that we need to pause before reacting.

Together we discuss:

• Why our expectations often become our biggest obstacle
• What that "knot in your stomach" really means
• How parents unintentionally push adult children away
• The importance of treating adult children as equals
• Why advice—even well-intended advice—can feel like criticism (we've heard this before!)
• How gifts and financial help sometimes come with hidden strings
• The role of self-awareness in repairing relationships
• Why our children don't need us to fix everything—they need us to understand them
• How to create a meaningful life beyond parenting

If you've ever wondered whether you're helping—or accidentally hurting—your relationship with your adult child, this episode is filled with compassionate insight and practical wisdom.

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