Heal Your Relationships
- Episódios
- 244
- Publicação
- semanal
- Último episódio
- 12 nov 2026
Sobre o podcast
This is a show about marriage, Unlike other shows about marriage, Heal Your Relationships is for women whose partners refuse therapy. If that is you, please know that you can still have the marriage you want, and we can help you get there. I’m your host Dr. Kavetha Sun, M.D. Even as a double board-certified psychiatrist, I struggled for years in my intimate relationships. This show is a culmination of everything I learned over ten years of stumbling through my own healing journey. My hope is that it gives you a head start. Each week, I will share simple, research-backed tools that you can use immediately to help you resolve conflict, restore connection, and pass on a legacy you are proud of. PS: Whenever you’re ready, here are two ways I can support you further: ⚡️Want my personalized help to break trauma patterns and heal your relationships in just 90 days? Book a free call to see if our flagship program Resilience 360 is the right next step for you → https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun ⚡️Have you seen my YouTube Channel? I'm putting a lot of energy into creating valuable content that you won't find anywhere else. Come check out my latest stuff, and give me a like and subscribe. → https://bit.ly/DrKavethaSunYouTubeChannel ⚡️ Or if you have any questions, feel free to write us an email at [email protected] — we’d love to hear from you. Let’s get started.
Episódios 244
A Deeper Dive: The Key to Initiating & Refusing Sex [Follow-Up Episode]
Have you ever wanted to initiate sex with your partner but worried about being rejected?Or perhaps you've been on the other side, wanting to say no but feeling guilty or afraid of hurting your partner's …
Notas do episódio
Have you ever wanted to initiate sex with your partner but worried about being rejected?
Or perhaps you've been on the other side, wanting to say no but feeling guilty or afraid of hurting your partner's feelings?
Here's something we don't talk about enough:
Most of us were never actually taught how to initiate or refuse sex in a way that feels good for both people.
We tend to assume that intimacy should happen naturally, without having to talk about it. But as relationships evolve, so do our needs, energy levels, and desires.
And when we don't know how to communicate those changes, something that should bring us closer can start creating distance instead.
In this week's episode of Heal Your Relationships, we're taking a deeper dive into the conversation we started last week about sex and intimacy.
I'll share practical ways to initiate sex without making your partner feel pressured, how to say no without making it feel like rejection, and why learning to talk openly about intimacy can actually help keep the spark alive.
Because talking about sex doesn't make it less romantic. It can make intimacy feel safer and more enjoyable for both of you.
🎧 Episode Timestamps01:27 — The myth that talking about sex makes it less sexy
03:01 — The difference between a request and a demand
04:44 — How to initiate sex directly
05:29 — Creating playful signals with your partner
07:39 — How to gently refuse sex
08:39 — Reassuring your partner that they're still desired
09:23 — Practicing these skills before you need them
✍️ Your Exercise for the WeekThis week, I'd love for you to have a conversation with your partner about how you both prefer to initiate and refuse intimacy.
Choose a moment when neither of you is expecting sex, so there's no pressure or fear of rejection.
Ask each other:
- How do you like me to initiate intimacy? Do you prefer a direct invitation, a playful signal, or something else?
- When you're not in the mood, what would help you feel comfortable saying no?
- How would you prefer I communicate a no so you still feel loved and desired?
You might even experiment with creating your own playful code word or using an arousability scale.
Remember, the goal isn't to agree on everything or create a perfect formula.
It's to build a shared language around intimacy that feels comfortable, respectful, and safe for both of you
Unlocking Sex & Intimacy: Creating Connection Without Pressure
Have you ever wanted to initiate intimacy with your partner but weren't quite sure how to approach it?Or perhaps you've found yourself saying "no" to sex, only to worry that your partner might feel rejected or …
Notas do episódio
Have you ever wanted to initiate intimacy with your partner but weren't quite sure how to approach it?
Or perhaps you've found yourself saying "no" to sex, only to worry that your partner might feel rejected or hurt?
Sex and intimacy can be difficult topics to navigate, especially when you and your partner experience different levels of desire.
But here's something I'd like you to consider:
What if we stopped treating intimacy as a simple "yes" or "no" conversation?
In this week's episode of Heal Your Relationships, I'm sharing a different approach to talking about sex and intimacy, one that encourages curiosity and playfulness rather than pressure or expectations.
We'll explore how desire naturally fluctuates, why certain experiences can either encourage or dampen it, and how to communicate your needs without making your partner feel rejected.
Because intimacy isn't just about sex. It's also about creating an environment where both people feel safe enough to express themselves honestly.
🎧 Episode Timestamps00:53 — Why we need a different approach to conversations about sex
02:01 — Understanding desire through accelerators and brakes
03:17 — Identifying what influences your own desire
04:26 — Exploring what affects desire within your relationship
05:47 — How to start a conversation without judgment or expectations
06:34 — A simple 1–10 scale for communicating desire
07:43 — How to initiate intimacy without pressure
09:02 — How to say no without creating feelings of rejection
09:49 — Offering alternatives to maintain connection
11:08 — Putting these tools into practice
✍️ Your Exercise for the WeekThis week, I'd love for you to try a simple exercise to better understand your own desire and open up a new conversation with your partner.
Start by journaling about your accelerators and brakes.
Think about the things that naturally increase your desire and those that tend to dampen it.
Consider two areas:
- Your personal life: How do your energy levels, sleep, confidence, stress, or environment influence your desire?
- Your relationship: What interactions, behaviors, or moments with your partner make you feel more or less open to intimacy?
Then invite your partner to reflect on the same questions.
Once you've both had some time to think, sit down and share your answers.
The goal isn't to agree, disagree, or immediately find solutions. It's simply to listen with curiosity and understand each other better.
Remember, creating a more fulfilling intimate relationship begins with making space for honest, playful conversations where both people feel safe being themselves.
3 Things That Successful Couples Do Differently
After more than 15 years of helping people heal their relationships, I've noticed something interesting about couples who manage to build lasting, fulfilling relationships.It's not necessarily that they share …
Notas do episódio
After more than 15 years of helping people heal their relationships, I've noticed something interesting about couples who manage to build lasting, fulfilling relationships.
It's not necessarily that they share the same values, have incredible chemistry, or agree on what their future should look like.
In fact, some of the most successful couples I've worked with have been through incredibly difficult experiences, from financial struggles and health challenges to infidelity and loss.
So what makes the difference?
In this week's episode of Heal Your Relationships, 3 Things That Successful Couples Do Differently, I'm sharing the patterns I've noticed in relationships that not only survive difficult times but continue to feel meaningful and connected.
- First of all, there is something I call 'Earned Security' which is the ability to develop secure attachment even if you didn't grow up experiencing it.
- Another is a skill that doesn't get nearly enough attention is ... 'Micro-repairs' The small ways we can prevent an argument from spiraling into the same painful cycle, right in the middle of the conflict.
- And then there's 'Interdependence' which I explain using a simple analogy to explore how couples can maintain their individuality without losing their connection.
Because a successful relationship isn't just about staying together for decades, it's more about still enjoying being together after all those years!
Episode Timestamps00:59 — What successful couples have in common
02:26 — Why hardship doesn't necessarily determine a relationship's success
03:35 — Earned security and secure attachment
05:21 — Why micro-repairs matter during conflict
06:50 — The relationship skill we rarely talk about
07:46 — Understanding codependency through the letter A
08:59 — Moving toward an interdependent H relationship
10:17 — The difference between codependency and living like roommates
11:13 — Why intimacy also needs a little distance
13:00 — What these patterns mean for you and future generations
HOMEPLAY for this episode: As you listen, I'd love for you to reflect on which of these skills you've already developed and which ones you'd like to strengthen, and let us know! We'd love to hear about you!
Remember, these are things we can learn, even if they weren't modeled for us growing up.
How to Deal with Incompatibility in Relationships
We're back with another episode of Heal Your Relationships, and this week's topic is something I'm sure many of us have wondered about at some point!Have you ever felt like you and your partner are just too …
Notas do episódio
We're back with another episode of Heal Your Relationships, and this week's topic is something I'm sure many of us have wondered about at some point!
Have you ever felt like you and your partner are just too different? Or wondered whether those differences mean you're simply not meant to be together?
In How to Deal with Incompatibility in Relationships, Kavetha introduces a different way of looking at compatibility: workability.
Because here's the interesting part: What if the goal isn't to be the same or constantly compromise, but to find solutions that honor both people's needs without losing who you are?
In this episode, Kavetha shares some practical examples of how to navigate differences, recognize when compromise is costing you your authenticity, and find solutions that actually work for both people.
🎧 Episode Timestamps02:20 — Two common ways we think about compatibility
03:42 — Why compromising can create resentment
05:34 — Why being the same isn't necessarily the answer
07:18 — Introducing the concept of workability
08:06 — When differences become difficult to navigate
09:56 — Finding workable solutions despite different values
11:16 — How to tell the difference between compromise and workability
12:31 — Honoring both people's core needs
14:04 — Finding solutions without sacrificing your authenticity
A lovely reminder that being different doesn't necessarily mean you can't have a meaningful, fulfilling relationship. Sometimes, it's about finding ways to honor those differences while staying true to ourselves.
Hope you enjoy it! 💚
P.S. We're hosting another Nervous System Mastery Workshop on October 27th at 12 PM ET! 💚
If you'd like to join Kavetha and learn how to better understand and work with your nervous system, we'd love to have you there!
3 Step Formula to Shift Contempt to Connection
Have you ever found yourself rolling your eyes at your partner, criticizing the smallest things they do, or feeling like you're having the same argument over and over again?Sometimes, after years of unresolved …
Notas do episódio
Have you ever found yourself rolling your eyes at your partner, criticizing the smallest things they do, or feeling like you're having the same argument over and over again?
Sometimes, after years of unresolved frustrations, something begins to shift.
What started as disappointment becomes resentment.
And over time, that resentment can turn into contempt.
That feeling of disgust or moral superiority toward someone else. The sense that I'm right, they're wrong, and if they would just change, everything would be better.
But here's something I want you to consider:
What if contempt is actually rooted in years of feeling lonely, unheard, and helpless to change the dynamic?
In this week's episode, I'm sharing a 3-step formula to shift contempt into connection.
We'll explore how to move from codependency to interdependency, replace blame and superiority with genuine empathy, and recognize those early moments of tension before they spiral into another painful argument.
Because the goal isn't to never disagree with someone you love.
It's to learn how to turn conflict into a doorway to connection.
Episode Timestamps04:29 — The five conflict styles we fall into when triggered
08:43 — Complaining vs. criticizing vs. contempt
11:00 — How resentment damages connection
14:35 — The three shifts to heal contempt
15:48 — Step 1: Codependency to interdependency
20:59 — Step 2: Replacing superiority with empathy
25:23 — A question to help you find compassion
27:02 — Step 3: Staying calm during conflict
29:26 — Recognizing tension before it escalates
Remember, connection doesn't mean agreeing with everything another person does.
You can have boundaries, ask for change, and disagree — while still coming from a place of empathy and respect.
And if someone you love struggles with contempt, consider sharing this episode with them.
Join me on October 20th!I'm excited to invite you to our upcoming Nervous System Mastery Workshop on October 20th!
We'll explore how to work with your nervous system so you can respond to life's challenges with greater calm and intention.
Join the Nervous System Mastery Workshop waitlist →
I'd love to see you there!
A Surprising Take on Outsourcing
I’ve spent years learning how to outsource things that don’t necessarily bring me joy.And honestly? I’m incredibly grateful that I can.But this weekend, we had less childcare help than usual, which meant more …
Notas do episódio
I’ve spent years learning how to outsource things that don’t necessarily bring me joy.
And honestly? I’m incredibly grateful that I can.
But this weekend, we had less childcare help than usual, which meant more laundry, dishes, groceries, errands, cleaning… all the little things that keep a home running.
I was dreading it.
Instead, something happened that I didn’t expect.
We had fun.
We did laundry together. My daughter made our to-do list. We ran errands, listened to music, ate lunch, cleaned the house, and moved through the day without rushing.
And by the end, I looked around our home and felt this unexpected sense of pride and connection.
It made me wonder whether, somewhere along the way, we had over-outsourced some of the little moments that make a life feel like a life.
In this week’s episode, A Surprising Take on Outsourcing, I’m sharing what this weekend taught me about productivity, family, and the ordinary rhythms of domestic life.
Because whether you outsource a lot or none at all, it’s easy to get caught in the same trap: rushing through the mundane so we can get to the “good stuff.”
But what if some of the good stuff is hidden inside the mundane?
Episode Timestamps01:05 — The unexpected weekend that sparked this episode
02:35 — Why I was dreading a weekend full of chores
03:17 — What actually happened (and why it surprised me)
04:30 — Had we over-outsourced our everyday life?
06:22 — Finding connection in laundry, dishes, and ordinary moments
07:13 — What our children may actually remember
08:12 — Making space for the rhythms of regular family life
08:51 — What if you can’t outsource?
09:47 — The to-do list is a race you’ll never win
10:23 — Why slowing down matters on both ends of the spectrum
The chores will always come back. The to-do list will refill.
But the little moments happening around them won’t.
Maybe we don’t need to make ordinary life disappear.
Maybe we need to slow down enough to actually live it.
Want to go deeper?If you’d like to keep exploring how to create more calm, connection, and safety from the inside out, I’d love to invite you to our upcoming Nervous System Mastery Workshop.
You can join the waitlist now to be the first to hear when registration opens:
Join the Nervous System Mastery Workshop waitlist →
I’d love to see you there.
The Tripod Model: How to Go from Keeping Your Head Above Water to Truly Thriving
Does therapy work?Yes. But I believe there’s a better question: Is therapy alone enough?Therapy can be incredibly valuable. It can help us understand our thoughts, process our feelings, reframe old stories, and …
Notas do episódio
Does therapy work?
Yes. But I believe there’s a better question: Is therapy alone enough?
Therapy can be incredibly valuable. It can help us understand our thoughts, process our feelings, reframe old stories, and navigate difficult seasons.
But if you’ve ever thought, “Therapy is helping… so why does life still feel so hard?” this episode is for you.
Because mental health isn’t just about what happens in your mind.
In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I’m introducing what I call the Tripod Model: a three-pronged approach that brings together top-down, bottom-up, and inside-out tools to help you move beyond simply keeping your head above water and build greater capacity for life.
I’ll also share one of my favorite ways to think about nervous system capacity: the bucket analogy.
Top-down approaches help filter what goes into your bucket, while bottom-up approaches help make the bucket bigger—so everyday stressors don’t overwhelm you quite so easily.
And the third leg?
The often-overlooked inside-out work: sleep, nutrition, movement, attention, breathing, and social connection.
This episode is also the beginning of a new series on modern mental health. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be breaking down these three pillars and giving you practical tools you can begin experimenting with in your own life.
In This Episode:
00:00 Why therapy alone may not be enough
01:34 The question we should be asking about therapy
04:10 The Tripod Model explained
04:29 Pillar 1: The top-down approach
06:33 Pillar 2: Bottom-up nervous system work
09:07 The “bucket” analogy for emotional capacity
11:41 Pillar 3: The inside-out approach
13:09 Moving from surviving to truly thriving
14:49 What’s coming in this modern mental health series
Want to go deeper?
If you’re ready to move beyond simply understanding your patterns and start changing them at the nervous-system level, that’s exactly what we work on inside Untriggerable.
You can learn more, connect with us, and join our community here:
The 6 Phases of Healing From the Past
Last week, we talked about No More Band-Aids, and the three pieces I believe are essential for deep, lasting healing: mind, body, and relationships.But knowing what needs healing raises another question:What …
Notas do episódio
Last week, we talked about No More Band-Aids, and the three pieces I believe are essential for deep, lasting healing: mind, body, and relationships.
But knowing what needs healing raises another question:
What does that journey actually look like?
For a long time, I thought I could heal by reading enough books, journaling, learning more, or simply trying harder.
But healing doesn't happen all at once.
And we can't do it entirely alone.
Over the years, both through my own journey and my work with others, I've noticed six distinct phases of healing. We may spend months in one and years in another, but understanding where you are can help you see what you might need next.
It often begins with pain, reactivity, and the moment you finally decide: I can't keep living this way.
From there comes learning and gathering information. Then something many of us miss: community and belonging. Because information may begin transformation, but we also need spaces where we feel safe enough to practice becoming who we really are.
Eventually, healing moves beyond something you understand intellectually and becomes something you embody, in your nervous system, your relationships, and the way you move through the world.
Episode Timestamps01:53 — The 6 phases of healing
04:16 — Phase 1: Reactivity → personal ownership
08:15 — Phase 2: Gathering information
10:55 — Phase 3: Community & belonging
14:32 — Phase 4: Embodied healing
15:49 — Phase 5: Practicing your true self
17:14 — Phase 6: Reinvention
20:05 — Where are you on your journey?
So this week, ask yourself:
Where am I right now — and what do I need to move forward?
Want to go deeper?The six phases also reflect so much of what we work through inside Untriggerable: moving beyond information into nervous-system healing, community, practice, and embodiment.
If you're ready to continue that journey with us, join our community on Circle:
No More Band-Aids: A Model for Permanent Healing
Last week, we talked about following your complaints like breadcrumbs...Looking beyond the surface problem to understand what might actually be asking for healing underneath.But once you find the source… how do …
Notas do episódio
Last week, we talked about following your complaints like breadcrumbs...
Looking beyond the surface problem to understand what might actually be asking for healing underneath.
But once you find the source… how do you actually heal it?
For years, my own approach looked a little like throwing spaghetti at the wall.
A few therapy sessions. Some yoga. Meditation. Self-care. Then something else.
And while many of those things helped, the relief was often temporary.
They were Band-Aids.
I eventually realized that lasting healing requires us to work with more than one part of ourselves.
So in this week’s episode, I’m sharing the framework that came out of that journey: Mind, Body, and Love.
We’ll look at healing the emotional wounds and protective patterns held in the mind, working with the nervous system and the reactions held in the body, and finally bringing that greater sense of safety into our relationships.
Because healing isn’t just about understanding why you are the way you are.
It’s about creating change that reaches deep enough that you don’t have to keep returning to the same Band-Aids.
Episode Timestamps02:56 — Why I call this “No More Band-Aids”
05:08 — Is permanent healing actually possible?
07:06 — The three ingredients: Mind, Body & Love
08:54 — IFS: protectors, exiles & your Self
13:27 — Accessing the calm, steady part of yourself
14:18 — The body: polyvagal theory & somatic work
17:13 — Why relationships are essential to healing
19:23 — Authentic communication: truth AND connection
20:57 — Why all three pieces matter
You don’t have to spend your life endlessly managing the same patterns.
Deeper healing is possible.
And now...Want to go deeper?This Mind–Body–Love approach is also at the heart of the work we do inside Untriggerable.
We don’t just teach you how to manage a trigger when it happens. We work with the deeper patterns underneath it; your mind, nervous system, and relationships; so you can create change from the inside out.
Your Complaints Are a Doorway to Your Healing
Your Complaints Are a Doorway to Your HealingLast week, we talked about the power of language — and I invited you to start paying closer attention to the words you use when you talk to yourself and about your …
Notas do episódio
Your Complaints Are a Doorway to Your HealingLast week, we talked about the power of language — and I invited you to start paying closer attention to the words you use when you talk to yourself and about your life.
This week, I want to take that one step deeper.
Because there’s one particular kind of language that can tell us so much about what’s happening underneath the surface:
Our complaints.
Think about something you complain about over and over.
Maybe it’s that you’re always the one giving.
Your partner never helps enough.
Work is constantly overwhelming.
There’s never enough time for you.
Or maybe you keep finding yourself thinking, “Why am I dealing with this again?”
What if that complaint isn’t just something you need to stop saying or solve?
What if it’s trying to tell you something?
I like to think about complaints the same way I would think about a fever as a physician.
If you have a fever, of course I want to help you feel better. But bringing down the fever doesn’t necessarily address what’s causing it.
We have to find the source.
Your complaints can work the same way.
They can be little clues — or, as I describe them in this episode, tributaries — that we can follow back toward deeper wounds, unmet needs, and longings we may not even consciously recognize.
And once we stop seeing our complaints as something to simply vent about and start getting curious about what they’re pointing toward, they can become an incredible doorway into healing.
Episode Timestamps00:48 — Why your complaints can help map your inner world
01:47 — Why venting and validation don't always create lasting change
03:20 — What a complaint actually is
04:26 — How early experiences can become subconscious core wounds
05:16 — Complaints as “tributaries” leading us back to the source
06:39 — The fever analogy: treating the symptom vs. finding the cause
09:00 — When “I'm so busy” may be protecting something deeper
11:12 — How busyness can sometimes protect us from loneliness
12:15 — Why the same wounds can keep returning as different complaints
12:50 — Why healing involves both inner work and the body
So this week, instead of judging yourself when you notice a complaint, try getting curious:
What am I really longing for here?
What feels missing?
What keeps repeating?
And what might this complaint be asking me to finally pay attention to?
Your complaints aren't necessarily the problem.
They may be the breadcrumbs showing you where to look.
Want to go deeper?Following those breadcrumbs back to the source — and working with what we find there in both the mind and the body — is at the heart of the work we do inside Untriggerable.
Instead of simply managing the latest trigger or putting another band-aid over the surface problem, we work on understanding and healing the deeper patterns that keep bringing us back to the same place.
If you're ready to continue that work with us, you can learn more about Untriggerable and join our community on Circle:
Join the Untriggerable community on Circle
This week, listen to your complaints a little differently.
There may be more wisdom in them than you realize.
🗣️ Oh, and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):
P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛
If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.
Power of Language
Quick gut check:If I recorded your self-talk today, would you want to play it back for someone you love?Last week, I shared more of my own imperfect healing journey — and how our earlier experiences can …
Notas do episódio
Quick gut check:
If I recorded your self-talk today, would you want to play it back for someone you love?
Last week, I shared more of my own imperfect healing journey — and how our earlier experiences can continue shaping the way we think, feel, and relate to the people around us.
But sometimes those patterns are hiding somewhere incredibly ordinary:
In the words we use every day.
The words running quietly through our minds.
The things we say when we're frustrated.
The stories we tell about ourselves, our relationships, and what's possible for us.
Because language doesn't just describe our experience.
It can shape it.
And the beautiful thing about language is that it's one of the most accessible places to begin creating change.
So in this week's episode, I'm giving you a simple exercise to uncover some of the hidden patterns in your own language.
You'll free-write for just a few minutes and then come back to what you've written with gentle curiosity — looking at three things: whether your language leans toward yourself or connection, whether you tend toward black-and-white thinking or nuance, and whether your words reflect personal choice or a feeling that you have no choice at all.
No judgment. No trying to fix yourself. Just notice.
Because sometimes changing the way we experience our lives can begin with something as small as changing the words we use to describe them.
Episode Timestamps01:01 — A quick check-in with your inner world
01:40 — Why the words you use are such a powerful lever for change
03:26 — The simple free-writing exercise
05:00 — Lens #1: “I, me, mine” vs. language of connection
06:06 — Lens #2: Black-and-white thinking vs. nuance
07:24 — Lens #3: “I have to” vs. language of personal power
10:44 — How to assess your overall language patterns
11:39 — The connection between rumination, anxiety, and depression
14:19 — Why noticing these patterns is actually good news
15:50 — Your invitation to try the exercise yourself
When you do the exercise, don't try to change everything at once.
Simply notice where you tend to lean.
Then choose one of these three areas and experiment with shifting your language this week.
See what happens when “I have to” becomes “I'm choosing to.”
When “this is just how it is” becomes a little more curious.
When certainty makes room for possibility.
Small changes in language can open the door to much bigger changes in how we see ourselves and the world around us.
Want to go deeper?Changing our language can be a powerful starting point. But sometimes the words we use are connected to deeper emotional patterns and old protective responses that have been with us for years.
That's the deeper work we do inside Untriggerable.
We work with the mind, the nervous system, and our relationships to understand what's underneath our triggers and build new ways of responding — not just when life is easy, but in the moments that challenge us most.
If you'd like to learn more about Untriggerable and continue this work with us, join us on our Circle platform:
Join the Untriggerable community on Circle
And if you try this week's exercise, I'd love to hear what you discover.
What's one phrase you're choosing to shift this week?
My (Imperfect and Ongoing) Healing Journey
I’ve been on a healing journey for a long time.And I’m still on it.I still get triggered. I still get suspicious. I still have moments when trusting and letting go are hard. The difference today isn’t that …
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I’ve been on a healing journey for a long time.
And I’m still on it.
I still get triggered. I still get suspicious. I still have moments when trusting and letting go are hard. The difference today isn’t that those reactions have disappeared.
It’s that I know what to do when they show up.
In this week’s episode, I want to take you behind the scenes of how I got here — because the way I approach healing today didn’t come neatly packaged in a textbook.
It came through a lot of trial and error.
Honestly, probably more error than trial. 🤣
I love psychiatry. I trained at some incredible institutions and learned so much about the human mind. But even after becoming a psychiatrist, I realized something difficult:
I still didn’t know how to be in relationships.
The tools I needed to create safety within myself, regulate my nervous system, heal old wounds, and stay connected when I was triggered were tools I eventually had to find, practice, and integrate for myself.
And that journey goes much further back than my own adulthood.
In this episode, I’m sharing parts of my family story that shaped me deeply — the trauma my parents carried, the beliefs and survival patterns I inherited, losing my mother, repressing parts of myself, and eventually realizing that healing wasn’t just about me.
It was also about what I would pass on.
One of the biggest realizations I’ve had is that intergenerational healing doesn’t begin or end with one person. Each generation before me, imperfectly and in their own way, passed on a little less pain than they received.
Now I get to be another link in that chain.
And that has become one of the North Stars of my life: the trauma stops with me.
Your story will look different from mine. But the effects of our earlier experiences often show up in three places: how we manage our emotions and triggers, what happens inside our bodies and nervous systems, and how we show up in our closest relationships.
Healing doesn’t mean becoming someone who never gets triggered again.
For me, it has meant learning to recognize what’s happening inside me and knowing how to return to safety, calm, and connection — again and again.
And that’s the work I want to share with you.
Episode Timestamps00:54 — Why I’m sharing my imperfect healing journey
04:41 — My childhood and the intergenerational trauma in my family
10:28 — Growing up between external privilege and internal chaos
15:54 — Losing my mother and carrying the belief that it was my fault
19:44 — When things began to change
22:21 — Why becoming a psychiatrist still didn’t teach me how to heal my relationships
24:54 — The mission that grew out of my own healing
25:50 — The 3 areas where our earlier experiences show up today
27:13 — I still get triggered — here’s what’s different now
28:12 — The three pieces I believe create a powerful path toward lasting healing
Want to go deeper?My own healing taught me that insight alone isn’t always enough.
I could understand why I reacted the way I did and still have my body respond automatically when something touched an old wound.
That experience became a huge part of why I created Untriggerable.
Inside Untriggerable, we work with the mind, the body and nervous system, and the patterns that show up in our relationships — so you can learn to recognize your triggers, regulate what’s happening inside you, and respond from a place of greater safety and choice.
If you’d like to learn more about the program and continue this work with us, you can join us on our new Circle platform:
Join the Untriggerable community on Circle
Wherever you are in your own healing journey, remember: it doesn’t have to be perfect.
Mine certainly isn’t.
It just has to keep moving.
3 Tools to Remove Limiting Beliefs From Your Subconscious Mind [Part 2]
Last week, we talked about how to uncover the limiting beliefs quietly shaping your choices.But recognizing them is only the beginning.Because you can know exactly what your limiting belief is…and still find …
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Last week, we talked about how to uncover the limiting beliefs quietly shaping your choices.
But recognizing them is only the beginning.
Because you can know exactly what your limiting belief is…
and still find yourself hesitating, resisting, or recreating the same pattern.
I know because I experienced this in my own business.
I knew I wanted to make changes. I knew the way I was working no longer felt aligned with how I wanted my life to look.
But my business was successful.
And underneath all that hesitation was a much older belief I had absorbed growing up:
Money is hard to come by. You have to sacrifice what matters to succeed. And there may not be enough to go around.
Intellectually, I knew I didn’t want to live that way.
But subconsciously? That belief was still influencing my decisions.
So in this week’s episode — Part 2 of our Limiting Beliefs series — I’m sharing the three tools I used to begin shifting those beliefs from the inside out.
We’ll start by replacing that exhausting inner debate with thoughts that are simply grounded in facts. Then I’ll show you how I began practicing the identity of the person I wanted to become — and how collecting small “confirmations” helped that new identity become more natural over time.
Because changing a limiting belief isn’t about forcing yourself to think positively.
It’s about slowly giving your mind a different experience to believe.
And for me, after about six to eight weeks of practicing these tools, something shifted.
The changes I had spent months resisting began to happen with far less force. I restructured my business, changed how I spent my days, and created something that felt much more aligned with my values — without sacrificing the financial stability I had been so afraid of losing.
Episode Timestamps00:48 — Picking up where we left off in Part 1
02:10 — Why changing a successful business felt so scary
03:28 — The limiting belief about money I uncovered
06:24 — How subconscious beliefs kept me recreating what I wanted to change
08:25 — Tool #1: Replace resistance with fact-based thoughts
12:42 — Tool #2: Start practicing a new identity
16:19 — How I used “abundance walks” to notice what was already around me
20:40 — Tool #3: Collect confirmations of your new identity
22:07 — What changed after practicing these tools for 6–8 weeks
24:14 — What my life and business look like on the other side
If you haven’t listened to last week’s episode, 3 Ways to Uncover Your Hidden Limiting Beliefs [Part 1], I recommend starting there first.
Part 1 helps you uncover what may be running beneath the surface.
Part 2 helps you begin changing it.
And as you listen, don’t try to tackle every limiting belief at once.
Choose one.
Get curious about it.
And start giving yourself evidence that another way of thinking, feeling, and living is possible.
Want to go deeper?Sometimes the patterns we intellectually understand are also tied to deeper emotional reactions that continue showing up even when we know better.
That’s exactly the deeper work we do inside Untriggerable — learning how to work with those patterns from the inside out so they no longer have to keep running the show.
And we now have a new home on Circle where you can learn more about Untriggerable and join our community:
Join the Untriggerable community on Circle
I’d love to see you there.
3 Ways to Uncover Your Hidden Limiting Beliefs [Part 1]
Have you ever known exactly what you wanted to change…but somehow kept doing the same thing?Maybe you want to change a pattern in your relationship.Make a move in your career.Take better care of yourself.Or …
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Have you ever known exactly what you wanted to change…
but somehow kept doing the same thing?
Maybe you want to change a pattern in your relationship.
Make a move in your career.
Take better care of yourself.
Or finally go after something you’ve been thinking about for months.
You know what you want.
And yet… you keep postponing it.
I’ve been there too.
There was a season when I knew exactly how I wanted my personal life and business to feel.
I had my North Star.
But for six months to a year, I kept putting off some of the very decisions that would take me there.
Why?
Limiting beliefs.
And the tricky thing about limiting beliefs is that we often don’t even know we have them.
They hide underneath the complaints we repeat, the conversations we have with our friends, and the stories we’ve told ourselves so many times that they simply feel like facts.
In this week’s episode, I’m sharing three practical ways I use to bring those hidden beliefs to the surface, including a journaling practice that can help you move beyond the story you already consciously know and begin uncovering what may be sitting underneath it.
Because before we can change a limiting belief…
we have to be able to see it.
Episode Timestamps00:53 — My own “North Star” and the beliefs that kept me from moving toward it
03:18 — Why limiting beliefs keep us stuck in the same patterns
04:56 — Start here: choose one specific area where you feel stuck
06:58 — Tool #1: Listen to your recurring complaints
09:05 — The difference between a circumstance and the belief you attach to it
10:16 — Tool #2: Pay attention to what you and your friends vent about
12:23 — Tool #3: Use journaling to uncover what’s beneath the surface
13:51 — The journaling trick that takes you beyond your conscious story
15:49 — Putting all three tools together
17:38 — What’s coming in Part 2
And this is only Part 1.
This week, your job is simply to find the beliefs that may be quietly running the show.
Don’t rush to change them yet.
Use these three tools, get curious, and write down what you uncover, because we’re going to use exactly what you find in next week’s episode:
3 Tools to Remove Limiting Beliefs From Your Subconscious Mind [Part 2]
That’s where I’ll show you what to actually do with these beliefs once you’ve brought them into the light.
So do the exercises from today, keep your notes somewhere close, and meet me back here next week for Part 2.
Want to go deeper?Sometimes the beliefs we uncover aren’t just thoughts we can talk ourselves out of. They’re connected to deeper emotional patterns, old wounds, and reactions that can keep showing up even when we intellectually know better.
That’s exactly the kind of deeper work we do inside Untriggerable.
And we now have a new home on Circle where you can learn more about the program, access resources, and join our community.
Join us inside the Untriggerable community on Circle
I’d love to see you there.
🗣️Oh, and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):
P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛
If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.
Use Your Imagination to Renew Your Mind Using These 4 Inner Resources
Last week, we explored a powerful idea:You are not your thoughts or your feelings.So the next question becomes...If I'm not my thoughts, then how do I actually begin to heal the part of me that still gets …
Notas do episódio
Last week, we explored a powerful idea:
You are not your thoughts or your feelings.
So the next question becomes...
If I'm not my thoughts, then how do I actually begin to heal the part of me that still gets triggered?
Many of us try to change our reactions by talking ourselves through them.
We promise we'll stay calm next time.
We'll communicate better.
We'll be more patient.
And sometimes it works...
...for a day or two.
But if your emotional reactions keep returning, it may be because there's a younger part of you that's still waiting to feel safe.
In this week's episode, I want to introduce you to one of my favorite healing practices—using your imagination to access four powerful inner resources that help bring calm, wisdom, protection, and comfort to your nervous system.
It may sound simple, but there's fascinating neuroscience behind it: when we vividly imagine an experience, the brain begins creating new neural pathways almost as if it had happened in real life. That's one of the beautiful foundations of neuroplasticity.
Episode Timestamps00:48 — Why communication tools aren't enough when your inner child is hurting
02:19 — Why imagination can literally help rewire your brain
04:42 — Resource #1: Creating your Safe Space
07:51 — Resource #2: Finding your Wise Counsel (yes... Dumbledore counts!)
09:31 — Resource #3: Discovering your Protector
11:45 — Resource #4: Choosing your Comforter
12:25 — A guided practice to install these four resources within you
Healing isn't about becoming someone different.
It's about giving the parts of you that still feel scared, alone, or overwhelmed the experiences they never received.
Sometimes, the resources you've been searching for aren't outside of you at all.
They're already within you—just waiting to be discovered.
If you'd like to go deeper...The four inner resources I shared today are just one small piece of the work we do inside Untriggerable.
In the program, I guide you through a complete step-by-step process to heal emotional triggers at the root, regulate your nervous system, and create lasting change—not just better coping strategies.
If this episode resonated with you and you're ready to experience that kind of transformation, I'd love to support you.
You can learn more about Untriggerable by joining our free physician community here:
https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians
Or simply reply to this email or reach out to my team at [email protected], and we'll be happy to share all the details.
🗣️ Oh, and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):
P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛
If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately
A Simple Tool to Reduce Anxiety and Stress in Just 90 Seconds
Last week, we talked about how unresolved trauma can keep our nervous systems stuck in a constant state of alert, even when we're no longer in danger.So the question naturally becomes:What can we do in those …
Notas do episódio
Last week, we talked about how unresolved trauma can keep our nervous systems stuck in a constant state of alert, even when we're no longer in danger.
So the question naturally becomes:
What can we do in those moments when we feel our stress or anxiety taking over?
The truth is, stress itself isn't the enemy.
Life will always bring deadlines, difficult conversations, and unexpected challenges.
The problem is when our bodies never get the chance to recover.
Instead of completing the stress response, many of us simply distract ourselves, with our phones, food, work, or endless busyness, while our nervous system remains switched on. Over time, that chronic stress can affect our physical health, cloud our thinking, and make it harder to show up well in our relationships.
In this week's episode, I'm sharing one of my favorite practical tools: a simple breathing technique called the physiological sigh. It takes less than 90 seconds, can be done almost anywhere, and helps calm your nervous system by completing your body's stress response. I'll also share a simple framework for understanding stress so you can begin responding to it with more confidence, rather than just reacting to it.
Episode Timestamps00:50 — Why stress is normal (and why chronic stress isn't)
01:27 — A simple technique to calm your nervous system in real time
03:10 — What animals can teach us about completing the stress response
04:17 — Why distractions don't actually reduce stress
05:20 — A simple framework for managing stress anywhere
07:12 — The science behind the physiological sigh
09:06 — How to practice the breathing technique correctly
10:40 — When to use it in everyday life
The goal isn't to eliminate stress.
It's to give your body the chance to recover from it.
Sometimes, creating more calm doesn't require changing your circumstances, it starts with taking one intentional breath.
If you'd like to go deeper...The physiological sigh is one powerful tool—but it's just one piece of the puzzle.
Inside our free Relationship Mastery for Physicians community on Skool, we share practical tools to help you regulate your nervous system, strengthen your relationships, and become less reactive to life's everyday stressors.
If you'd like to continue learning alongside us, we'd love to have you join.
Join the community here:
https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians
I hope to see you there.
3 Signs You are Struggling with Hidden Trauma and 6 Ways to Begin Healing Today
Last week, we explored how certain thinking patterns can quietly create more suffering—and how reversing them can change the direction of your life.But what if your thinking isn't the whole story?What if the …
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Last week, we explored how certain thinking patterns can quietly create more suffering—and how reversing them can change the direction of your life.
But what if your thinking isn't the whole story?
What if the reason certain thoughts keep coming back... isn't because you're weak or "thinking wrong"...
...but because there's an unhealed wound underneath them?
By the time we're 30, every one of us has experienced some form of trauma.
Sometimes it's obvious.
Sometimes it's a thousand little moments that quietly shaped how we see ourselves, other people, and the world.
The challenge is that hidden trauma rarely announces itself.
Instead, it shows up as recurring patterns we can't seem to explain.
In this week's episode, we'll explore how hidden trauma can quietly shape the way you think, feel, and relate to others. I'll share three common signs that unresolved trauma may still be affecting your life, along with six practical tools to help you begin healing with greater awareness and self-compassion.
Episode timestamps
00:45 — Why every adult carries some form of trauma
03:15 — The three hidden places trauma shows up
03:26 — Signs of trauma in the mind
10:05 — Signs of trauma in the body
11:54 — Signs of trauma in relationships and behavior
15:07 — Six ways to begin healing today
23:23 — Bringing it all together: healing hidden trauma step by step
One thing I've learned, both personally and through working with hundreds of women, is this:
Trauma doesn't always look dramatic.
Sometimes it looks like overthinking.
Sometimes it's emotional numbness.
Sometimes it's always expecting the worst.
Sometimes it's constantly feeling "on guard," even when you're safe.
And none of those mean you're broken.
They simply mean your nervous system is still trying to protect you from something it hasn't fully healed yet.
Healing begins the moment we stop asking,
"What's wrong with me?"
and start asking,
"What happened to me, and what does my nervous system need now?"
If this episode resonates with you...
Much of the work we do inside Untriggerable is helping people gently reconnect with their bodies, regulate their nervous systems, and heal the deeper patterns that trauma leaves behind.
If you're ready to move beyond simply understanding your patterns and begin transforming them, we'd love to support you.
Simply reply to this email or reach out to us at [email protected] to learn more.
You don't have to heal everything today.
But you can begin today.
How to Reverse Your Miserable Thinking
Last week, we explored what it means to become the bus driver instead of getting carried away by every thought and emotion that comes along.This week, I'd like to take that one step further.Because once you …
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Last week, we explored what it means to become the bus driver instead of getting carried away by every thought and emotion that comes along.
This week, I'd like to take that one step further.
Because once you realize you're not your thoughts, the next question becomes:
Which ways of thinking are quietly creating more suffering in your life?
In this week's encore episode, I want to introduce you to one of my favorite psychological tools:
Inversion Thinking.
Instead of asking, "How can I become happier?"
We'll ask a much more useful question:
"How could I make my life more miserable?"
It may sound backwards, but it's surprisingly powerful.
Because once you identify the habits that create suffering, all you have to do is reverse them.
In this episode, I'll walk you through six common thinking patterns that keep us stuck, and how turning each one upside down can help you create a more peaceful, joyful, and meaningful life.
Episode timestamps00:51 — Why inversion thinking works so well
03:05 — Miserable Habit #1: Living in "shoulds"
04:40 — Miserable Habit #2: Fighting reality instead of accepting it
07:18 — Miserable Habit #3: Resisting or reacting to your emotions
11:37 — Miserable Habit #4: Seeing triggers as injustices instead of teachers
14:49 — Miserable Habit #5: Seeing people as all good or all bad
18:17 — Miserable Habit #6: Believing happiness exists somewhere in the future
22:51 — The six principles, summarized
24:20 — Your homework: Reverse each principle in your own life
One of the greatest freedoms I've discovered is this:
Life isn't about finding a place where you'll only experience "positive" thoughts or feelings.
Just like we've talked about over the last few weeks, every school bus has all kinds of passengers.
The goal isn't to get rid of half the bus.
The goal is to stay in the driver's seat.
If these conversations have been resonating with you...If you've been enjoying this series on thoughts, emotions, and learning to stay grounded instead of getting swept away by your mind, I'd love to invite you to continue the journey with us.
Join our free Relationship Mastery for Physicians community, where we share practical tools for nervous system regulation, emotional resilience, and healthier relationships:
https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians
Or, if you'd like to learn more about working with us, simply reply to this email or reach out to us at [email protected].
I'd love to support you as you continue building a life led by wisdom, not by your thoughts.
🗣️Oh, and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):
P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛
If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.
How To Think About Your Thinking (and Stay Connected to Who You Truly Are)
Last week, I invited you into a simple but powerful experiment:What if you are not your thoughts or your feelings?If you haven't listened to that episode yet, I'd encourage you to start there. It lays the …
Notas do episódio
Last week, I invited you into a simple but powerful experiment:
What if you are not your thoughts or your feelings?
If you haven't listened to that episode yet, I'd encourage you to start there. It lays the foundation for everything we're exploring today.
Because once you begin to see that you are the observer—not the constant stream of thoughts, emotions, memories, and sensations—the next question naturally becomes:
How do I actually stay connected to that wiser part of myself when life gets busy... or emotionally overwhelming?
That's exactly what we're diving into in this week's encore episode.
I'll introduce you to one of my favorite metaphors: the School Bus Between Your Ears.
It may sound simple, but this analogy has transformed the way thousands of my clients relate to their minds.
Instead of fighting your thoughts...
Instead of trying to get rid of uncomfortable emotions...
You'll learn how to become the wise bus driver instead of getting pulled around by every passenger on the bus.
Episode timestamps
00:57 — Why this episode builds on last week's experiment
04:57 — The question everyone asks: "How do I connect with my true self?"
05:43 — The School Bus metaphor explained
07:04 — Who the passengers really are
08:40 — Becoming the bus driver instead of the passengers
09:46 — Why chasing happiness keeps us stuck
11:20 — What happens when you leave the driver's seat
13:58 — A simple practice to notice without reacting
15:12 — Labeling the "passengers" on your bus
16:27 — How this builds emotional steadiness over time
The goal isn't to have a bus full of perfect passengers.
The goal is to remember who's driving.
When you stop trying to control every thought and emotion, and instead learn to notice them with curiosity, you create space for clarity, wisdom, and freedom.
------
If today's episode resonated with you...
Many high-achieving professionals spend years trying to "fix" their thoughts when the real transformation comes from learning how to relate to them differently.
If you'd like to continue exploring nervous system regulation, emotional resilience, and practical tools for staying grounded under pressure, I'd love to invite you to join my free community:
Relationship Mastery for Physicians
https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians
Or if you'd like to learn more about working with us, simply reply to this email or reach out to [email protected]. We'd love to help you take the next step.
Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...
🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):
P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛
If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.
Five Steps to Getting Unstuck, From ANYTHING
Have you ever felt like you're trying so hard to move forward... yet somehow you keep ending up in the same place?Whether it's your relationships, your career, your health, or an old emotional pattern, feeling …
Notas do episódio
Have you ever felt like you're trying so hard to move forward... yet somehow you keep ending up in the same place?
Whether it's your relationships, your career, your health, or an old emotional pattern, feeling stuck can be incredibly frustrating. And the harder you push, the deeper you sometimes seem to sink.
Here's the surprising part:
What if nothing is actually wrong with you?
In this week's episode, I explain why getting stuck isn't a lack of willpower—it's often the result of how your brain is wired to keep you safe.
Your brain was designed to detect danger, not happiness. And when that primitive survival system takes over, it can trap you in loops of rumination, fear, self-doubt, and overthinking without you even realizing it.
Episode timestamps
00:55 — Why so many different struggles have the same root
02:13 — What it really means to feel "stuck"
03:37 — Understanding how your brain works
06:03 — Your brain is designed to find danger—not happiness
09:58 — The role of your prefrontal cortex
10:55 — What happens when your survival brain takes over
13:40 — The difference between pain and suffering
15:26 — The legacy we pass to the next generation
16:50 — A simple exercise to identify where you're stuck
One of the biggest shifts in my own life came when I realized this:
My thoughts weren't the problem.
My feelings weren't the problem.
Even my fears weren't the problem.
The real suffering began when I believed every thought my survival brain offered me—and built my life around those stories.
Once you understand that, you can begin stepping out of the quicksand instead of struggling deeper into it.
I hope this episode helps you take that first step.
---
If this episode resonated with you and you'd like to go deeper, I'm putting together a live workshop on nervous system regulation in the next couple of weeks.
In this workshop, I'll show you practical tools to help you calm your nervous system, break free from reactive patterns, and create more emotional resilience in your everyday life.
You can join the waitlist here: https://dr-kavetha-sun.kit.com/8ea3ea0bf4
I'd love to have you there!
You Are Not Your Thoughts Or Feelings
Have you ever had a thought that scared you?Or a feeling so intense that it seemed to take over your entire world?What if I told you that neither your thoughts nor your feelings are actually you?In this week's …
Notas do episódio
Have you ever had a thought that scared you?
Or a feeling so intense that it seemed to take over your entire world?
What if I told you that neither your thoughts nor your feelings are actually you?
In this week's episode, You Are Not Your Thoughts Or Feelings, I invite you into a simple but surprisingly powerful experiment.
Together, we'll travel through different moments of your life, from today, to last week, to years ago, and discover something remarkable:
Even though your body changed…
Your roles changed…
Your relationships, worries, hopes, and circumstances all changed…
There has always been one part of you that remained exactly the same.
The quiet part.
The observing part.
The part of you that notices.
And once you experience this directly, it's very hard to unsee it.
Episode timestamps:
00:48 — Why thoughts and feelings aren't the problem
01:49 — The surprising idea: you are not your thoughts or feelings
02:35 — A simple experiment to discover who you really are
05:52 — What remains constant throughout your life
07:22 — The Observing Mind and Pure Awareness
08:28 — The difference between your roles and your true self
10:24 — A simple practice to reconnect with your observing mind
One of my favorite realizations is this:
You have been a child.
A teenager.
A student.
A partner.
Perhaps a parent.
You've felt joy, grief, love, heartbreak, confidence, and uncertainty.
And yet, through all of it, there has been a quiet awareness inside you simply witnessing it all.
That awareness is not broken.
It doesn't need fixing.
It is the wisest part of you.
And the more often you learn to rest there, the more freedom you experience—even in difficult moments.
--
And if you've been enjoying these recent episodes on emotions, triggers, and the nervous system, and you're a physician or high-achieving professional who wants to cultivate more emotional resilience and inner freedom, I'd love to invite you to explore Untriggerable.
You can join our free community here:
https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians
Or simply reply to this email or reach out to [email protected] and my team will share all the details.
The Emotional Freedom Formula
Do you ever feel like you're stuck in the same emotional loops?The same arguments.The same frustrations.The same moments where you promise yourself, Next time I'll handle this differently…only to find yourself …
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Do you ever feel like you're stuck in the same emotional loops?
The same arguments.
The same frustrations.
The same moments where you promise yourself, Next time I'll handle this differently…
only to find yourself reacting in exactly the same way?
If so, you're not broken.
You may simply be following an emotional script you didn't know you were carrying.
In this week's episode, The Emotional Freedom Formula, I share a powerful 7-step framework that combines CBT, DBT, trauma healing, and identity work to help you understand why you think, feel, and react the way you do.
Because here's the truth:
Most people focus on changing their habits.
But habits are often downstream from identity.
And identity is powerful.
I share a story about my daughter and Judy Hopps from Zootopia that reminded me of this in the most beautiful way:
Sometimes, changing who we believe we are can instantly change how we behave.
Episode timestamps:
00:57 — Introducing the Emotional Freedom Formula
01:54 — Why identity may be the most powerful lever for change
02:42 — The Judy Hopps story: how identity transformed behavior instantly
05:27 — Step 1: The Neutral Fact
06:46 — Identity & Core Beliefs: the invisible thermostat running your life
08:40 — Thoughts → Feelings → Actions → Results
11:42 — How to identify the identity behind your reactions
14:45 — The key to emotional freedom: shifting core beliefs
15:26 — How to start using this formula in your own life
One of my favorite metaphors from this episode is this:
Your identity is like the thermostat in your house.
You can work harder, push yourself, and try all the right strategies…
but your life keeps returning to the temperature your identity is set to.
Real change isn't about forcing yourself to think differently.
It's about learning to become someone different.
—
And if you've been listening to these recent episodes and thinking:
"In my head I know exactly what to do … but I still get stuck in the same emotional patterns."
That's exactly why I created Untriggerable.
It's designed specifically for physicians and high-achieving professionals who are ready to stop being controlled by old emotional scripts and start responding with clarity, resilience, and freedom.
You can join our community here:
https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians
Or simply reply to this email or reach out to [email protected] and my team will send you all the details.
-
Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...
🗣️You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):
P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛
If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.
How to Control Intense Emotions Instantly
Have you ever had one of those moments where you know you're upset...and then you find yourself replaying the situation in your mind,Feeling more irritated, more hurt, or more anxious with each passing …
Notas do episódio
Have you ever had one of those moments where you know you're upset...
and then you find yourself replaying the situation in your mind,
Feeling more irritated, more hurt, or more anxious with each passing minute...
Until before you know it, you're completely overwhelmed?
Maybe you replay the conversation over and over.
Maybe you shut down and withdraw.
Maybe you feel an overwhelming urge to defend yourself, send the text, make the phone call, or finally tell someone exactly what you think.
And in those moments, it feels urgent.
It feels true.
It feels like you have to act right now.
But what if that's actually the moment when you should do the exact opposite?
In this week's episode, How to Control Intense Emotions Instantly, we're talking about emotional dysregulation.
What happens when a trigger hijacks your nervous system and pulls you into reactions that often damage trust, connection, and relationships.
Because contrary to what many people believe...
the problem isn't always that we don't feel our feelings.
For many of us, and particularly with those that carry hidden trauma, the problem is that we feel them too intensely.
We go from calm to overwhelmed in seconds.
And unless we know how to regulate ourselves, we end up repeating the same relationship patterns over and over again.
Episode timestamps:
01:10 — The myth of "just feel your feelings"
02:39 — The first clue you're becoming emotionally hijacked: urgency
04:18 — What a Trigger Signature is and why it changes everything
06:25 — Why changing your location is the first step to regulation
08:30 — Movement, sensation, and co-regulation tools that calm intense emotions
10:58 — Safe Place Imagery and other nervous system regulation techniques
12:42 — The surprising power of crying and emotional release
14:32 — Why core wounds create recurring triggers
15:58 — The relationship mistake that makes triggers worse
16:51 — How to have a safe conversation after you've regulate
One of the most important ideas in this episode is that triggers are incredibly predictable.
Not the events themselves.
But your response to them.
Most people think every trigger is a brand-new problem.
In reality, many of us are replaying the same nervous system pattern over and over again.
The same thoughts.
The same emotions.
The same fears.
The same reactions.
Once you learn to recognize your trigger signature, everything starts to change.
Because you stop believing every story your brain tells you when you're emotionally activated.
And that creates space for a different response.
—
If you've been listening to these recent episodes on triggers, emotional regulation, attachment styles, and nervous system healing...
and you're realizing that you keep getting pulled into the same emotional cycles despite knowing better...
that's exactly why we created Untriggerable.
It's designed specifically for physicians and high-achieving professionals who are tired of overreacting, shutting down, ruminating, or feeling emotionally exhausted despite being successful in every other area of life.
Inside the program, we help you identify your trigger patterns, regulate your nervous system, heal the core wounds beneath your reactions, and build the emotional resilience needed to create healthier relationships.
You can explore the community here:
https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians
Or simply reply to this email or reach out to [email protected] and our team will send you all the details.
Emotional Sobriety
Have you ever noticed how different you become when you're triggered?One moment you're calm, thoughtful, and clear.The next, you're overthinking, shutting down, becoming defensive, needing reassurance, or …
Notas do episódio
Have you ever noticed how different you become when you're triggered?
One moment you're calm, thoughtful, and clear.
The next, you're overthinking, shutting down, becoming defensive, needing reassurance, or pulling away from the people you care about most.
It's almost as if something takes over.
In this week's episode, Emotional Sobriety, we explore why that happens and how to return to the version of yourself that feels grounded, present, and authentic.
One of my favorite phrases comes from recovery communities:
Emotional sobriety.
Not because most of us struggle with substances.
But because many of us know exactly what it feels like to have our fears, wounds, and attachment patterns cloud our judgment in the same way a substance might.
When we're triggered, we stop seeing clearly.
We lose access to parts of ourselves.
And that often creates the very relationship patterns we're trying so hard to avoid.
In this episode, we explore the two powerful forces living within all of us:
The Inner Child: the part of us that longs for comfort, play, connection, spontaneity, and reassurance.
And the Inner Parent: the part of us that brings wisdom, perspective, responsibility, self-regulation, and compassion.
The challenge is that when we're triggered, one often takes over while the other disappears.
And that's where emotional suffering begins.
Episode timestamps:
02:27 — What emotional sobriety actually means
03:16 — Understanding the Inner Child
04:17 — Understanding the Inner Parent
05:18 — The shadow side of both parts
06:18 — Why attachment styles matter
07:04 — How anxious attachment loses access to the Inner Parent
09:53 — How dismissive avoidant attachment loses access to the Inner Child
13:14 — How fearful avoidants flip-flop between both extremes
15:23 — The connection between triggers and protest behaviors
16:02 — The first step toward emotional sobriety
18:18 — Giving yourself time to bring all parts of yourself
18:37 — Why understanding your attachment style changes everything
One of the most important insights from this conversation is this:
When we're triggered, we're rarely responding from our whole self.
Instead, we're responding from a wounded part of ourselves that temporarily takes over.
And until we learn how to bring both our Inner Child and Inner Parent into the room together, we often repeat the same relationship patterns over and over again.
The good news?
This is a skill.
And skills can be learned.
-
Resources mentioned: Attachment FREE quiz - https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/compatibility-quiz/
-
If you've been following these recent episodes and finding yourself thinking:
"This sounds exactly like me."
"I know my triggers are running the show."
"I want to stop reacting and start responding differently."
That's exactly why we created Untriggerable.
Inside the program, we help physicians and high-achieving professionals identify their attachment patterns, dissolve the core wounds underneath them, regulate their nervous systems, and develop the emotional resilience needed to stay grounded—even when life gets challenging.
You can learn more and join the community here:
https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians
Or simply reply to this email or reach out to [email protected] and our team will send you more information.
Emotional Immaturity: Signs and Solutions
Do you ever feel like your emotions take over before you even have time to think?Maybe you snap at someone you love…Then regret it later.Maybe you shut down completely and avoid hard conversations.Or maybe you …
Notas do episódio
Do you ever feel like your emotions take over before you even have time to think?
Maybe you snap at someone you love…Then regret it later.
Maybe you shut down completely and avoid hard conversations.
Or maybe you stay “busy” all the time, working, scrolling, drinking wine at night, overthinking. Basically doing everything to avoid actually feeling what’s underneath.
Most of us were never truly taught how to process emotions.
We were taught how to suppress them.
Hide them.
Push through them.
Or react from them.
And over time, that creates emotional immaturity, not because we’re bad people, but because we never learned another way.
In this week’s episode, Emotional Immaturity: Signs and Solutions, we unpack the three most common ways adults avoid emotions… and what emotional maturity actually looks like instead.
Because emotional maturity isn’t about “never feeling emotional.”
It’s about learning how to stay present with emotions without hurting yourself or the people around you.
Episode timestamps:
01:15 — Emotional immaturity explained through the “beach ball underwater” metaphor
02:09 — The three emotional buckets: disappointment, frustration, and boredom
04:24 — The 3 signs of emotional immaturity
04:40 — Emotional reacting: amplifying your emotions instead of processing them
05:50 — Emotional resistance: shutting down, people pleasing, procrastinating
06:47 — Emotional distraction: overworking, scrolling, drinking, numbing
10:48 — The antidote: learning how to process emotions
11:29 — What it means to “ride the wave” of an emotion
12:11 — How emotional immaturity damages relationships and mental health
14:02 — Why emotional processing is one of the most important adult skills
One of the most powerful parts of this conversation is realizing that emotional immaturity doesn’t always look dramatic.
Sometimes it looks like:
overworking
perfectionism
people pleasing
avoiding decisions
or staying constantly distracted.
And many high-achieving professionals become incredibly successful externally… while still feeling emotionally exhausted internally.
Because intellect alone does not regulate a nervous system.
And eventually, what we suppress begins leaking into our relationships, our stress levels, and the way we experience everyday life.
Just think about it, if you’ve ever felt emotionally drained despite being highly capable and successful…
We feel you and that’s exactly why we created Untriggerable.
A space specifically designed to help physicians and professionals regulate their nervous systems, process emotions in a healthier way, and stop living in cycles of reactivity, shutdown, overthinking, or emotional exhaustion.
You can explore the community here:
https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians
Or send us an email at [email protected] and our team will send you all the details.
🗣️Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...
You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):
P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛
If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.
Dealing with Emotional and Practical Overwhelm
Do you ever feel overwhelmed… no matter how much you get done?Like your nervous system never fully settles.You move from one responsibility to the next.Work. Parenting. Relationships. Messages. Decisions …
Notas do episódio
Do you ever feel overwhelmed… no matter how much you get done?
Like your nervous system never fully settles.
You move from one responsibility to the next.
Work. Parenting. Relationships. Messages. Decisions. Chores. Deadlines.
And even when you finally sit down to “relax”…
your mind is still running.
For a long time, I thought being overwhelmed was just part of being a high-achiever.
But what I eventually realized is this:
Not all overwhelms are the same.
Sometimes the problem is practical.
There’s simply too much to carry with too few resources.
But other times… the overwhelm is emotional.
And no amount of productivity hacks, massages, bubble baths, or better scheduling can truly fix it.
Because emotional overwhelm often happens when there’s something deeper we’re avoiding.
A conversation.
A truth.
A change.
A decision.
A part of ourselves asking to finally be heard.
In this week’s episode, Dealing with Emotional and Practical Overwhelm, we unpack the difference between these two kinds of overwhelm, and why understanding that distinction can completely change how you respond to stress.
Because when we treat emotional overwhelm like a scheduling problem…
we stay stuck.
And when we treat practical overwhelm like a personal failure…
we burn out our nervous systems even more.
Episode timestamps:
02:53 — The two different kinds of overwhelm
03:28 — What emotional overwhelm actually feels like
04:26 — How to tell whether your overwhelm is emotional or situational
05:32 — A real-life example of situational overwhelm
07:32 — What happens when emotional overwhelm builds up
08:39 — One major sign you’re emotionally overwhelmed
10:31 — Why even joyful activities stop feeling restorative
12:01 — The deeper truth emotional overwhelm is often pointing toward
13:36 — Why self-care alone sometimes doesn’t work
14:40 — Why practical overwhelm is easier to identify
15:01 — The real cause of practical overwhelm
16:18 — The two ways to reduce practical overwhelm
18:02 — Planning vs. execution: the hidden mental load
19:21 — The power of “minimal acceptable standards”
20:14 — Questions to help identify your type of overwhelm
22:02 — The “golden nugget” exercise to apply this immediately
One of the most important shifts for me personally was realizing this:
Sometimes overwhelm isn’t a sign that you’re weak or failing.
It’s your nervous system trying to tell you something.
Sometimes it’s asking for support.
Sometimes it’s asking for rest.
And sometimes… it’s asking you to stop abandoning something important inside yourself.
Because healing overwhelm isn’t only about doing less.
It’s about learning how to listen differently to yourself.
And if this episode resonates deeply with you, and you’re a physician or high-achieving professional reading this thinking…
“I know how to function under pressure… but my nervous system still feels constantly on edge”
That's exactly why we created Untriggerable.
A space to help you regulate your nervous system, stop living in constant reactivity, and learn how to move through stress, conflict, and overwhelm without losing yourself in the process.
If that speaks to you, just reply to this email or reach out to [email protected] and we’ll send you the details.
Are You Unknowingly Triggering These Two Toxic Emotions In Your Child?
As a physician, you’ve likely spent years learning how to stay calm under pressure in situations of stress and overwhelm.But sometimes…the hardest place to stay regulated is not at work.It’s at home.Especially …
Notas do episódio
As a physician, you’ve likely spent years learning how to stay calm under pressure in situations of stress and overwhelm.
But sometimes…
the hardest place to stay regulated is not at work.
It’s at home.
Especially in those moments when your child is melting down…
and suddenly you feel yourself getting triggered too.
You raise your voice.
You shut down.
You become harsher than you wanted to be.
And afterward, you replay the moment in your head thinking:
“Why did I react like that?”
“Why couldn’t I stay calm?”
“Am I passing this on to my child?”
Most parents deeply love their children.
And yet, without realizing it, many of us accidentally trigger two of the most painful emotions a child can experience:
Shame.
And loneliness.
Not because we’re bad parents.
But because most of us were never taught what emotional regulation actually looks like.
So when our child screams, hits, cries, ignores us, or spirals emotionally…
our own nervous system gets activated too.
And in those overwhelmed moments, many of us instinctively reach for control, punishment, withdrawal, or emotional distance…
the very things that often made us feel alone as children ourselves.
In this week’s episode, Are You Unknowingly Triggering These Two Toxic Emotions In Your Child?, we unpack how these patterns quietly show up in parenting…
even in loving, intelligent, well-meaning families.
Because emotional regulation is not something children magically arrive knowing how to do.
They learn it through us.
Episode timestamps:
01:06 — The two most painful emotions children can experience
02:33 — Why shame is so damaging to the nervous system
04:15 — How shame creates loneliness and emotional disconnection
05:26 — How these patterns quietly show up in parenting
05:54 — The hidden emotional message behind “time out”
08:14 — Why some parenting techniques “work”… but still cause harm
09:24 — What emotional regulation actually means for children
10:13 — The healthier alternative: co-regulation instead of isolation
11:40 — What to do during tantrums, hitting, yelling, or emotional overwhelm
13:15 — Why lecturing children during meltdowns doesn’t work
14:13 — How to validate feelings without validating harmful behavior
15:22 — Why loneliness is such a powerful punishment to the nervous system
15:45 — What children are actually trying to learn through big emotions
16:47 — Our real job as parents: teaching regulation without shame
17:26 — What happens when children learn to disconnect from their feelings
18:05 — The question every parent should ask themselves
One of the hardest truths I had to face myself was this:
Children don’t only learn from what we say.
They learn from what we do.
And so much of that comes from our nervous systems.
From how we respond when stressed.
From whether emotions feel safe or dangerous.
From whether connection disappears when things get hard.
And the beautiful part is:
when we learn to regulate ourselves differently…
we change what gets passed down.
And if this recent series on triggers has resonated deeply with you,
especially if you’ve noticed how your own overwhelm affects the people you love most …
This is exactly the deeper work we help physicians and high-achieving professionals do inside our new program, Untriggerable.
Because many of the emotional reactions we struggle with today were learned long before adulthood.
And when you learn how to regulate your own nervous system first,
everything changes downstream,
your relationships, your parenting, your peace, and the emotional legacy your children inherit.
If you’d like more information about Untriggerable,
simply reply to this email or reach out to [email protected]
and we’ll send you the details.
Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...
🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):
P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛
If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.
The 3 Steps I Took To Heal My Trauma Triggers, and Strengthen My Relationships
As a physician, you’ve probably learned how to stay functional under pressure…But what happens when you’re no longer at work —and the smallest moments still trigger overwhelm, shutdown, overthinking, or …
Notas do episódio
As a physician, you’ve probably learned how to stay functional under pressure…
But what happens when you’re no longer at work —
and the smallest moments still trigger overwhelm, shutdown, overthinking, or emotional spirals?
For years, that was my reality.
I took everything personally.
Criticism.
Rejection.
Even small comments.
I would replay conversations for hours in my mind, question myself constantly, and feel emotionally exhausted from trying so hard to keep it all together.
And the confusing part was this:
Professionally, I looked “high functioning.”
But internally, I was struggling.
What I eventually realized is that many high achievers carry what I now call hidden trauma.
Not because we’re weak.
But because we became very good at functioning.
Very good at succeeding.
Very good at intellectualizing.
Very good at pushing through.
Until one day… the nervous system catches up.
In this week’s episode, The 3 Steps I Took To Heal My Trauma Triggers, and Strengthen My Relationships, I’m sharing the exact process that changed my life.
Not just intellectually —
but emotionally, relationally, and physiologically.
Because healing didn’t happen when I gathered more information.
It happened when I finally learned how to work with both the mind and the nervous system.
Episode timestamps:
00:50 — Why information alone doesn’t create transformation
03:17 — Who this work is really for
04:41 — My story: trauma, loss, and emotional survival
06:30 — Why success can hide unresolved trauma
08:20 — The turning point that changed everything
10:24 — Why high achievers often carry “hidden trauma”
11:39 — The problem with relying only on logic and insight
13:21 — Why nervous system regulation changes everything
14:34 — Step 1: Rewiring the nervous system (The Four C’s)
16:06 — Step 2: Healing the core wounds behind your triggers
17:05 — Why some comments trigger you deeply… and others don’t
18:18 — The Inner Parent process explained
19:54 — Step 3: Learning the Non-Reactive Frame
20:17 — The live exercise where I recreated conversations with my father
23:57 — What changed after healing my triggers
25:44 — Healing intergenerational trauma and changing the legacy we pass on
27:29 — Why transformation doesn’t need to take 10 years
One of the biggest shifts for me was realizing this:
Triggers weren’t proof that something was wrong with me.
They were revealing the exact places where healing needed to happen.
And once I stopped fighting those reactions —
and learned how to process them differently —
everything changed.
My relationships.
My confidence.
My peace.
Even my ability to feel joy and creativity again.
And if this episode resonates deeply with you…
We’ve officially opened our new physician-focused program: Untriggerable.
This is the exact work we use to help high-achieving professionals regulate their nervous systems, heal trauma triggers at the root, and create calmer, stronger relationships — without years of staying stuck in the same cycles.
If you’d like more information, simply reply to this email or reach out to [email protected] and we’ll send you the details.
----
Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...
🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):
P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛
If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.
How to Use Your Triggers to Reduce Your Suffering
As a physician, you’re trained to stay calm under pressure…and yet, sometimes it’s the smallest moments in your personal life that feel the hardest.Maybe you’ve had moments like this:Something small happens…a …
Notas do episódio
As a physician, you’re trained to stay calm under pressure…
and yet, sometimes it’s the smallest moments in your personal life that feel the hardest.
Maybe you’ve had moments like this:
Something small happens…
a comment, a tone, a look...
and suddenly you feel it.
That surge.
The reaction comes fast.
Almost automatic.
Maybe you snap.
Maybe you shut down.
Maybe you distract yourself and move on.
But underneath it all…
there’s this quiet thought:
Why does this affect me so much?
For a long time, I thought the goal was simple:
Stop getting triggered.
Be calmer.
More in control.
Less reactive.
But what I didn’t understand back then is this:
Triggers aren’t the problem.
They’re the signal.
In this week’s episode, How to Use Your Triggers to Reduce Your Suffering, we take this one step further.
Not just understanding triggers…
But actually learning how to use them.
Because every trigger is pointing to something already within you.
And when you know how to work with that moment instead of against it,
everything starts to change.
Episode timestamps:
00:48 — What it actually means to be triggered
01:18 — Can triggers ever be a good thing?
01:49 — The “minefield” analogy that explains everything
04:52 — The 3 ways we usually deal with triggers (and why they fail)
07:11 — Why distraction is so addictive (and keeps you stuck)
10:19 — Why your coping patterns once made sense
12:08 — What emotions actually are (energy in motion)
14:09 — The first step: recognizing what you feel
15:49 — The difference between feelings and thoughts
17:32 — Why you might feel “nothing” at first
19:27 — How to sit with emotions without reacting
23:23 — What happens when you let emotions move through you
24:24 — Why triggers can actually be gifts
25:31 — When it’s okay to temporarily suppress or distract
27:16 — A simple 2-minute practice to build emotional resilience
One of the most important shifts in this episode is this:
You don’t need fewer triggers.
You need a new way of meeting them.
Because when you stop running from what you feel,
and learn how to stay with it, even briefly,
you reduce your suffering at the root.
And if you’re reading this thinking… this is exactly what I struggle with...
we’ve just launched something new called Untriggerable.
It’s designed especially for physicians who are used to functioning at a high level externally…
but feel overwhelmed internally when these moments hit.
If this episode resonates and you want to go deeper into this work, just reply to this email or reach out to [email protected] and we’ll share all the details with you.
🗣️Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...
You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):
P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛
If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.
Where Do Triggers Come From, The Answer May Surprise You…
Are you a physician… and tired of getting triggered, even when you know better?For years, I didn’t even realize I was being triggered.I thought I was just reacting… normally.Reasonably.Like anyone would.One …
Notas do episódio
Are you a physician… and tired of getting triggered, even when you know better?
For years, I didn’t even realize I was being triggered.
I thought I was just reacting… normally.
Reasonably.
Like anyone would.
One moment I’d be completely calm,
and the next, something small would happen and it felt like I’d been hijacked.
Like a wild elephant had taken over.
And whatever came out of me in those moments…
felt justified at the time.
But often came with regret later.
It didn’t feel like a “trigger.”
It just felt like… me.
Which made it even more confusing.
What I didn’t understand back then is this:
If a reaction feels huge, it’s usually not because the moment is huge —
it’s because something inside of us is.
In this week’s episode, Where Do Triggers Come From, The Answer May Surprise You…, we gently unpack what’s actually happening underneath those reactions.
Because triggers are not random.
And they’re not caused by the other person.
They’re pointing somewhere.
And when you start to see them differently, everything begins to shift.
Episode timestamps:
00:50 — Why triggers don’t feel like triggers (they just feel like “you”)
01:54 — What triggers actually are and why they feel so overwhelming
03:01 — The first big shift: seeing triggers as gifts, not problems
04:12 — Why triggers come from within (not the situation)
06:13 — The “minefield” metaphor that changes everything
07:07 — Why some comments don’t affect you… and others hit deeply
09:04 — How your past shapes your emotional reactions
10:22 — The second shift: your reaction reveals a “raw spot”
10:49 — Why healing yourself changes everything in your relationships
11:36 — Why external fixes don’t work without inner healing
12:21 — The foundation: becoming a more aware, healed version of you
One of the biggest shifts for me was this:
I stopped seeing triggers as problems…
and started seeing them as invitations.
Because if growth really matters —
then the only way forward is through the exact places that feel hardest.
And those moments?
They’re not setbacks.
They’re signposts.
—
And if you’re reading this thinking… this is exactly what I struggle with —
we’ve just launched something new called Untriggerable.
If this episode resonates with you and you want to go deeper into this work,
just reply to this email or reach out to [email protected]
and we’ll share all the details with you.
Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...
🗣️You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):
P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛
If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.
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