Keeping it Real with Erin and Terry

After last week’s heavy episode, Erin and Terry are calling this one their date night. Between Harry, the house, and Terry gigging at night, the podcast has become the only time they get to sit down and actually talk to each other, so they’re making the most of it!

This week they get into love languages, menopause rage, HRT, waiting up after a gig, and who wants sex after 10 o’clock as a married couple anyway. Plus the programme about an older woman and a younger fella that Terry walked in on. And under all the laughs, Terry admits the last while nearly broke him, and he’s happier this week, reading a real book instead of doomscrolling.

Erin reminds Terry he’s spiritual this week, so he can’t lie to his wife, and she is determined to get an honest answer out of him about her brunette hair, and Terry dances around the question about 75 times, like the politician Erin reckons he could have been.

Spoiler, Erin calls it the best date, even though Terry insulted her hair, and his top is going in the bin when they get home!!

Tell us in the comments: when do you and your partner actually get to sit down and talk, and what does date night look like in your house?!

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In this week's episode, Erin and Terry share what they've learned about the autism world, much of it from the followers who send Erin everything! From carer supports and genetic testing to the higher rate of epilepsy in autistic children, it's a lot to take in.

Then they go down the rabbit holes: the gut, €500 tests, stem cells at around 30 grand a go, and the spelling boards causing such controversy in America. Erin is the first to say not everything on the internet is real, and that this was never about fixing autism. It's about easing the awfulness when a child is in crisis and can't tell you what's wrong.

The strain on their marriage comes out on the couch too. Erin goes full speed for Harry, ready to run through walls, while Terry would sometimes rather bury his head in the sand. Neither holds back, and Terry admits the gut-wrenching feeling he has sitting there is how his son feels all the time, and that's what keeps him there. Plus, a message for anyone who loves an autism parent: show up, because they're drowning. Spoiler, nobody cried this time, but Terry did tell everyone he resents Erin.

Only sometimes, he says, and it turns out he's not the only one! Tell us in the comments: autism parents, what's the best tip another parent ever gave you, and what difference did it make? New episodes every Thursday.

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In this week’s episode, Erin and Terry open up about a summer that was one of the hardest times of their lives. Their beautiful son Harry was in pain he had no way of explaining, crying for 12 hours on end and hurting himself, and the whole summer felt like lockdown.

Erin talks about refusing to accept it was ‘just autism’, filming and writing down everything so the professionals would finally believe her. Terry explains what constant fight or flight really looks like for a nonverbal child, and they get into the physical side of autism that most people don’t realise; a body that simply can’t do what’s being asked of it.

They’re honest about what it did to their marriage too, from two completely different ways of coping to the day Erin watched her husband break down at the table, asking how much more they could take. And they face the hardest question of all; what if Harry needs care for the rest of his life?

Raw, emotional, and angry in parts, this is Erin at her most honest, with Terry doing his best to finish on a positive. As Erin says herself, everyone else thought she was having some sort of breakdown, but she was actually having a breakthrough.

Plus, a message for every parent who sent in advice over the summer. Erin has written down every bit of it!

Tell us in the comments: autism parents, what’s the one thing you wish every professional knew about who your child really is?

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In this week’s episode, Erin and Terry look back at the many comments left by autism parents following the release of Episode 8, “what happens to Harry when we’re gone”.That episode touched a nerve with so many SEN parents all dealing with the same terrifying problem of how to prepare for a future where they’re not around anymore to take care of their beautiful children.

Emotionally raw and angry in parts, the episode reflects the feelings of our viewers. Feelings that only families living in the situation can truly understand.

Terry takes a strong stance on the severe shortage of adequate support from government services, and the well meaning but ultimately unhelpful comments from friends and others who just don’t get it.

Erin brings her usual conscientious approach and insights, as always, wearing her heart on her sleeve and calling it exactly how it is.Tell us in the comments: SEN parents, what’s the one thing you wish people said to you instead of ‘I don’t know how you do it’?

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No specific topic this week and no guest. Just hot takes, two very different opinions, and nowhere to hide. Keep it, or cut it, and neither of them is allowed to say ‘it depends’!

Erin and Terry go through the lot. It starts with a harmless warm up round; then veers through dangerous territory for any couple; the house, the airport, screen time, food, dating, and going out, big occasions, little occasions, marriage and weddings, sex, intimacy, parenting, and their friends and social lives. In true Erin and Terry style, both have strong opinions loosely held.

This episode is hilarious and real in equal measure. Spoiler, they do make it through to the end with their relationship stronger than before, so long as Terry keeps his damn feet off the new couch!!

Tell us in the comments: whose side would you be on, and which hot take would start the biggest row in your house?!

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Erin’s off this week, so Terry brought in his friend and fellow musician Jake Suleman, and it turned into one of the most honest conversations of the series. Both of them are autism dads. Terry to Harry, Jake to his 8-year-old daughter Esme. Two totally different kids of the same age. Despite the differences, Terry and Jake share the same lifestyle and same highs, lows, and hard days.

Terry shares the moment from a few days before recording that stopped him in his tracks. Harry saying his first word with real purpose. Jake talks about how Esme sees the world: no concept of violence, unable to spot a bully because she assumes everyone talking to her is a friend. They get into how differently Esme hears the world; super-sensitive to sound, picking up songs she can’t stand even when they’re barely audible. And they land on the thing neither of them takes for granted: that their careers in music simply wouldn’t exist without help from their families and their wives holding everything together at home.

Two dads, two guitars, and the kind of conversation that doesn’t happen often enough.

Tell us in the comments: if you’re raising an autistic child, what’s the moment that hit you harder than you ever expected?

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If your partner put a fire emoji on a photo ofan attractive person on Instagram, would you care? Most people have an answerimmediately. Almost no couple has ever actually discussed it.

This week Erin and Terry get into the grey areathat every couple navigates but almost none of them talk about out loud. Themicro cheating spectrum, from a liked photo to a deleted DM, and what it isthat actually tips something over the line. What acceptable interaction withfollowers looks like when the inbox is full and people feel entitled to aresponse. The difference between a public reply and a private DM, and why thatdistinction matters more than what was actually said. And the real questionunderneath all of it: where does each of them genuinely draw the line, not thepublic answer, the actual one?

Plus: why deleting messages is always theconfession, regardless of what they said.

Tell us in the comments: fire emoji, flirty DM,or deleting messages. Which one would actually bother you most, and does yourpartner know?

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They did the menopause episode. This is the other side. Because men’s bodies are changing in their 40s too! Testosterone drops roughly one to two per cent every year after 30, and the symptoms look like depression, burnout, or just getting older. Most men never find out what it actually is.

So this week Erin and Terry get into andropause. What it is, what it does to mood, energy, libido, and body composition, and why the vast majority of men who have it never talk to a doctor. Plus the body image pressure that’s been quietly building on men the same way it built on women. Gym culture, the before–and–after pics, the supplement use that’s really about fear of ageing and not feeling like enough. And what all of it does to a relationship when nobody in the house has the language for what’s actually going on.

It’s not a sad episode. It’s an honest one. And it’s long overdue.

Tell us in the comments: men, have you ever felt your body or energy shift and said nothing about it? Women, did you notice before he did?

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Most parents of children with additional needs have not made a formal plan for what happens after they’re gone. Not because they don’t love their child. Because sitting down and doing it is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to face.

This week Erin and Terry face it properly. What the conversation actually involves. The cliff edge that comes at 18 when school ends and the adult disability services system, already stretched to capacity, has to take over. The three things that need to be planned: who makes decisions for Harry under Ireland’s Assisted Decision-Making Act, who cares for him day to day, and how he’s funded in a way that protects rather than removes his entitlements. And what it does to a marriage when two people try to have this conversation together without falling apart.

It’s not a legal advice episode. It’s an honest one. The fear, the avoidance, the grief, and the small steps that make it possible to keep going.

Tell us in the comments: have you started this conversation in your family, and what finally made you face it?

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