Lights On with Carl Lentz
- Episódios
- 121
- Publicação
- semanal
- Último episódio
- 9 nov 2026
Sobre o podcast
Lights On with Carl Lentz is exactly what this show is. Carl Lentz is turning on the lights in his own life, & giving people space to do the same. We will lead with vulnerability, & have open conversations to bring light to the inner darkness in our lives. Turn on the lights with us!
Episódios 121
The 3 Things Every Couple Fights About (And What to Do Instead)
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] Our book, Overcoming Infidelity, is OUT NOW: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497 "We seem to fight …
Notas do episódio
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
Our book, Overcoming Infidelity, is OUT NOW: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497
"We seem to fight all the time. Big things, little things. Are we too far gone?" A listener sent us that question, and if you've ever felt the same way, you're more normal than you think.
Healthy couples aren't the ones who never fight. They're the ones who've learned how to fight in a way that brings them closer instead of pushing them apart. We break down why the slammed door is never really about the door, the three things almost every couple fights about, and why most marriage conflict never fully goes away (and why that's actually good news).
Then we get practical. You'll get a question to ask your spouse for each of the big three, a simple test to tell whether you're fighting about a preference or a principle, and how to turn a rule into a request. Carl shares the moment Laura answered "what do you put up with that I don't know about?" and how many items it took before he gave up.
Stay for "you can win the argument and lose the connection," the funeral test for small fights, "the most sacred story" Carl tells himself before bringing up an issue, and Laura's take on why nagging never works.
If your marriage feels more petty than powerful right now, this one is for you.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Are You Getting Better or Getting Bitter?
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] book, Overcoming Infidelity, is OUT NOW: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497Are you getting …
Notas do episódio
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
Our book, Overcoming Infidelity, is OUT NOW: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497
Are you getting better, or are you getting bitter? Everyone has opinions about your marriage, your choices, and your life, and how you handle those voices affects your mental health, your relationships, and where your life goes from here.
A week after the book launch, we're talking about how to protect your spirit in a world that runs on criticism. Carl explains why what you rehearse is what you become, and why you may need to restart the algorithm of your life. Laura answers a question we get all the time: how has she stayed so free of bitterness after everything? Her answer starts with a choice she made early on, and it may not be the one you'd expect.
Then we take listener questions about feeling judged by people who walked away, and about the criticism that comes when you try to make a change. We talk about the friends who couldn't support our decisions, what a tenderhearted response looks like, and why the story of your marriage belongs to two people.
Stay for Laura's apocalypse algorithm, Carl's weekly meeting with the bitter version of himself, "bitterness is often grief that never got permission to grieve," and the difference between wanting approval and needing it.
If you've been holding back on something because of what other people might say, this one is for you.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Overcoming Infidelity: How We Rebuilt Trust After Infidelity
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] book, Overcoming Infidelity, is OUT NOW: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497"Do you ever worry …
Notas do episódio
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
Our book, Overcoming Infidelity, is OUT NOW: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497
"Do you ever worry that I'm going to cheat on you again?" Carl asks Laura that question on camera, and her answer may not be what you'd expect.
For everyone new here since the book launched, we pulled together some of the most important conversations we've had on this show, each one tied to a chapter of Overcoming Infidelity. We start with the night everything fell apart and why we chose healing over reputation. Then we get practical: what safety looks like before closeness, what to say to your kids, and what really happens when you go through his phone.
Carl shares the one response every man should have ready for when his wife is triggered, and why the grace you give should be proportional to the years of deception. Laura talks honestly about the exhausting first year, losing friends, and the moment she realized she no longer remembered what distrust felt like.
Stay for the U-Haul night in Brooklyn, the merry-go-round study on why kids need boundaries, the turbulence analogy for talking to your children, "spotlight work vs. shadow work," and Laura's answer to the question she gets asked more than any other.
If you're new to our story, or wondering whether trust can ever come back, start here.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Is It Really Possible to Overcome Infidelity? (Our Book Is Out!)
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] book, Overcoming Infidelity, is OUT NOW: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497"Is it really …
Notas do episódio
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
Our book, Overcoming Infidelity, is OUT NOW: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497
"Is it really possible to overcome infidelity?" It's the question behind the title of our new book, and we hear it in some form every week. Today, on release day, we answer it live from Nashville, along with your questions about the book.
We talk about why we wrote it, what it is (and what it definitely isn't), and why we built it as ten conversations instead of a formula. Laura explains why sharing your story is one of the last parts of healing, and why the title says overcoming, not overcome. Carl answers the question people keep asking about what comes next, and he doesn't leave much room for interpretation.
Then we take on one of the most common questions we get from betrayed spouses: how do you stop replaying what happened and comparing yourself to the other woman? Laura shares what helped her, including the tools she still uses, and Carl explains the one thing a husband should never do when those replays hit. We also cover what to do when a husband says "you caused this," and what to do when a wife isn't making any progress in her own healing.
Stay for the alternate cover story, "overlords vs. trampolines" (a new way to think about triggers), why the two of us argued over who got to own a mistake, and what it means to be an oasis for a friend whose marriage is falling apart.
If you've been through infidelity, are in it right now, or love someone who is, this one is for you.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The 10 Receipts of Repentance: How to Know If They’ve Really Changed
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] our book, Overcoming Infidelity, TODAY: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497"How did you …
Notas do episódio
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
Pre-order our book, Overcoming Infidelity, TODAY: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497
"How did you experience no guilt? Because you're a Jesus follower?" Last week a wife wrote in about a husband who uses grace to dodge accountability. This week she asks Carl the question directly, and he gives an answer most people won't expect.
We break down four words people treat as interchangeable: guilt, conviction, remorse, and condemnation. One keeps your head down. One lifts it. Carl shares the moment a therapist stopped him mid-story to point out he was still the hero of it, and why real forgiveness should push you toward the truth, not away from it.
Then we answer the question every betrayed spouse is asking: how do you know if someone has really changed? "I repented" is a sentence. Repentance leaves evidence. We walk through the 10 Receipts of Repentance we use in our own marriage, and Laura shares which receipt she still checks for today and how she uses it when a trigger hits.
Stay for "sorry is the handshake," the "go away and live small" myth about what repentance requires, the club analogy behind the name Lights On, and seven light switches for anyone whose faith has been turned against them.
If you've heard "I've repented" and you're still waiting to see anything change, this one is for you.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
"God Forgave Me, Why Can't You?" (The Theology That Dodges Accountability)
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] our book, Overcoming Infidelity, TODAY: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497"He tells me he …
Notas do episódio
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
Pre-order our book, Overcoming Infidelity, TODAY: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497
"He tells me he has no guilt, because there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." A wife married over 30 years wrote in with a question we hear far more often than people realize: what do you do when your spouse uses God, grace, and Scripture to avoid ever changing?
We read her letter in full and take it apart piece by piece. She describes a husband raised in a home where every night of harm was followed by "today is a new day," and she's watching that same pattern play out in her own marriage. We talk about why the language we use for repeated harm matters so much, and the one question you can ask a trusted friend to find out if you've been softening your own reality for years.
Then Carl takes on Romans 8 directly. What does "no condemnation" actually promise, and what does it absolutely not give anyone permission to do? Laura shares why it took her three years to say certain words to Carl, and what forgiveness should never produce in the person who was hurt.
Stay for the "coughing up blood" illustration about acclimating to dysfunction, the family system with a reset button but no repair button, Laura's breakdown of what forgiveness is not, and the one question that exposes what your theology is really producing.
If you've ever heard "God forgave me, why can't you?" from someone who never changed, this one is for you. And if you don't share our faith, swap in whatever you believe deeply. The pattern is the same.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Rage, Disclosure, and Raising Kids Through it All
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] couple in recovery hits the same three walls at some point. The rage that won't quit. The suspicion that there's more to the story. And the …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
Every couple in recovery hits the same three walls at some point. The rage that won't quit. The suspicion that there's more to the story. And the impossible question of how to protect your kids from the fallout of a parent who isn't showing up. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura take on all three, pulled straight from the mailbag.
The first: how do you deal with the raw, uncontainable anger you feel toward the person your spouse cheated with? Carl gets honest about why misdirecting rage at the affair partner is one of the most common and most damaging traps a betrayed spouse can fall into, and why the person who actually broke the vow is always the right target for accountability. Laura walks through what to do with the intrusive thoughts that show up unannounced, and the difference between validating a feeling and getting stuck in it.
The second: is full disclosure actually necessary, or does bringing everything into the light just cause more pain? Carl and Laura make the case that nothing hidden can be healed, walk through what a real proper disclosure looks like, and get into why offering something like a polygraph isn't dramatic. It's the fastest way to remove the doubt that would otherwise haunt a marriage for years. Full disclosure isn't just for the person who broke it. It's for the person who needs to know they can finally exhale.
The third: what do you do when you're the parent trying to lead your kids through healing and the other parent isn't participating? Laura gets direct about building a healthy village around your kids without recruiting them into your anger, the three truths every mom of daughters should be teaching in a season like this, and why the greatest gift you can give your children isn't your commentary on their other parent. It's your own health.
Stay for the surgery analogy that will reframe how you think about partial versus full healing, the reminder that stacking new evidence doesn't require erasing the past, and the closer worth writing down: let their actions speak. Not your words.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Preorder our book, 'Overcoming Infidelity' TODAY: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Overcoming-Infidelity/Carl-Lentz/9781668230497
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Two questions every couple in recovery is asking (and the honest answers)
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] of the hardest questions in recovery aren't the big ones. They're the small, daily ones that couples get stuck on for years without ever asking …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
Some of the hardest questions in recovery aren't the big ones. They're the small, daily ones that couples get stuck on for years without ever asking out loud. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura take on two of them, both pulled straight from the mailbag, and get into the honest answers most couples never get.
The first: when does accountability start turning into policing, and how do you rebuild the muscle of trust without micromanaging every conversation? Carl walks through the "most gracious story" technique that changed how they approached daily check-ins, why proactive honesty is worth more than any answer given under interrogation, and how to handle the lose-lose questions every betrayed spouse eventually asks (like "do you find her attractive?"). Laura gets honest about the difference between her husband creating safety for her and her needing him to be her safety system, and where that line has to live for a marriage to actually heal.
The second: where do you actually get help? Carl walks through the road he took: on-site, rehab, group therapy, the relapse five months in, and the specialized help that finally started to move the needle. Laura shares her own road through betrayal trauma therapy, the red flags of a bad therapist, and why they skipped traditional couples counseling entirely for the first stretch of recovery. Both of them agree on one thing: it's the betrayer's job to find help. Not the betrayed spouse's.
Stay for the "am I doing anything currently?" question that reframes accountability entirely, the Vegas story that will make you laugh out loud, the reframe worth writing down (you can create safety, but you can't become her safety system), and the closer that anchors the whole episode: specialized help isn't optional. It's the difference between surviving this and healing from it.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Fighting, s*x, and privacy: what actually counts as normal
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]"Is this normal?" is one of the most asked questions in every marriage counselor's office. It's also one of the most dangerous ones, because "normal" …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
"Is this normal?" is one of the most asked questions in every marriage counselor's office. It's also one of the most dangerous ones, because "normal" and "healthy" aren't the same thing. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura tackle three real listener questions that get to the heart of what most couples are quietly wondering but afraid to ask.
The first: is it normal to be fighting constantly? Carl and Laura draw the line between fighting and healthy conflict using a gym metaphor that will land for anyone in a marriage that feels heavier than it should, and they walk through three questions any couple can use to test whether their conflict is producing growth or just producing damage. The second: what if we have sx very infrequently, is that normal? They get honest about why frequent doesn't mean healthy, why sx is the truest metric of a marriage's overall state, and the exact script a couple can use to start the conversation neither of them wants to start. The third: how much privacy is normal in a healthy marriage? They walk through the difference between privacy and secrecy, why "nothing to hide" is the only real starting point, and where the line falls on phones, passwords, social media, and DMs.
You'll hear Laura get direct about the danger of "keeping the peace" when peace is just protecting the problem, and why toleration erodes standards you didn't even know you had. Carl gets honest about the years he lived in fear of being found out, why he believes we weren't designed to live with secrets, and how the bedroom is almost always the report card, not the root issue.
Stay for the Gottman notebook trick for non-defensive listening, the "exposed vs. caught" test that will change how you think about privacy in marriage, and the closer worth writing down: presence over performance. In every part of your marriage. Every time.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Four Myths about Betrayal We Need to Stop Believing
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] of the biggest misconceptions couples carry into betrayal recovery aren't just wrong. They're the reason people stay stuck for years. In this …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
Some of the biggest misconceptions couples carry into betrayal recovery aren't just wrong. They're the reason people stay stuck for years. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura get honest about four of the most common myths they hear over and over from listeners, friends, and couples they've walked through this with. And every one of them lands somewhere that will surprise you.
The first: can your marriage ever be the same after betrayal? The second: does staying mean you're weak? The third: if you don't trust them yet, have you really forgiven them? The fourth: does the cheater always have the most work to do?
You'll hear Carl and Laura push back on the assumption that "the same as before" is even a good goal, and why the couples who thrive after betrayal often say their marriage is now better than it was, not because the betrayal was worth it, but because the work forced a level of honesty most marriages never touch. Laura gets direct with the wives who feel judged by other women for staying, and what she wishes every friend group understood about the courage it takes to sit in the fire long enough to know what you really want. Carl walks through the difference between forgiveness and trust, why "prove it to me" is the wrong posture for a betrayed spouse to take, and why the person who broke it doesn't get to carry all the work either, they get to carry all the responsibility.
Stay for the reframes that anchor the whole episode: your marriage doesn't need to be the same, it needs to be honest. Staying isn't weakness, it's often the harder path. Forgiveness releases you. Trust is theirs to rebuild. And the closer worth writing down: zero fault does not mean zero work.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Forgiveness, Triggers, Relapse, and Alcohol: Your Questions Answered
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]'re home in Virginia Beach and back in the mailbag. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura take on four of the most common questions couples …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
We're home in Virginia Beach and back in the mailbag. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura take on four of the most common questions couples in recovery keep sending in. Not the surface-level questions. The ones people ask when they trust the answer is going to be honest.
The first: is forgiveness the same as reconciliation? The couples who get stuck here almost always confuse the two, and it costs them years. The second: how do you tell the difference between a real danger sign and old trauma firing again? Laura walks through the exact tool she uses to defuse a trigger in real time before it hijacks the whole conversation. The third: what do you do when the fear of relapse becomes its own weight in the marriage, and are ultimatums ever a good idea? Carl gets honest about his own slip-up five months into recovery, why they've thrown out the word "relapse" entirely, and the honesty system that carried them through: a 24-hour rule that eventually became a daily check-in. The fourth: does alcohol help or hurt long-term recovery, and how do you know when it's crossed the line from social to self-medicating?
You'll hear Laura get direct about why "resourceful, not right or wrong" is the frame every couple should adopt when they're rebuilding routines. Carl walks through the difference between relief and healing, why environment matters more than morality in a season of repair, and why the couples who make it long-term stop performing for outside judgment and start building for evidence instead.
Stay for the tool that will help someone this week (VATS: Verify, Ask, Truth, Support), the reframe worth writing down (reconciliation requires evidence, not just words), and the closer that anchors the whole episode: feelings of safety don't build a marriage. Evidence of safety does.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The Three Listener Questions Every Betrayed Spouse Needs to Hear
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] and Laura are back with a new season, a new studio, a new book, and one of the most tender openings this show has ever had. Before Carl and Laura …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
Carl and Laura are back with a new season, a new studio, a new book, and one of the most tender openings this show has ever had. Before Carl and Laura get into the listener questions, Carl opens up about the sudden loss of his sister Rachel, what he's learned about carrying grief and honor at the same time, and the reminder her life left him with: don't wait to say the things you actually feel.
From there, they dive into three listener questions that go straight to the heart of what real repair looks like after betrayal. The first: what is the actual difference between shame and remorse, and how do you know which one is driving your spouse? The second: what does it look like to make real amends 21 years, three affairs, and a mountain of damage later, and are there times when the healthiest amends is the one you don't send? The third: how do you hold onto hope in a marriage that feels stuck, when the person who broke it seems to be sitting on the fence about whether to stay?
You'll hear Carl get direct with the men who are still leading their apologies with self-pity, self-flagellation, or the quiet expectation that their spouse should carry their pain for them. Laura speaks to the women trying to raise teenagers through the fallout of a father who has stepped out of the picture, and she walks through what real, unvarnished conversations with kids can actually look like. Together they unpack the difference between words and evidence, why "amends" and "contact" are not the same thing, and why hope has to be built on what's actually happening, not what someone keeps promising.
Stay for the reframes that anchor the whole episode: shame keeps the focus on you, remorse keeps the focus on the person you hurt. You don't need contact to make things right. Kids can smell inauthentic more than any of us. And the closer that will land for anyone quietly holding on: reality is not the enemy of hope. It's the soil where the only real hope actually grows.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The marriage questions people are afraid to ask out loud
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] Lights On started, we've been asked a lot of questions. Some out loud. Some in private messages. Some in the middle of a conversation with …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
Since Lights On started, we've been asked a lot of questions. Some out loud. Some in private messages. Some in the middle of a conversation with couples we love. In this special episode, Carl and Laura pulled the eleven hardest, most common, most necessary marriage questions into one place.
This episode is for the couple sitting at the dinner table not saying what they really want to say. The wife wondering if what she's feeling is normal. The husband asking whether he still has the right to want more. The parents trying to figure out what to say to their kids. The couple healing from betrayal. The couple who was never touched by betrayal but is still fighting the same fight every year. The reader who's just curious how anyone builds a marriage that actually lasts.
Carl and Laura get honest about the questions they've been asked over and over again. Should I stay or should I leave? Can trust actually be rebuilt after it's broken? What do you say to the children? What if you know your spouse is still lying? What's the difference between a marriage worth fighting for and a marriage worth grieving? How do you know if you're healing or just surviving?
There are no easy answers here. But there are honest ones. And for anyone in the middle of any of these fights, honest is what actually starts to help.
Stay for the reframes that have become the backbone of this show: unhealthy people can stay and unhealthy people can leave. The affair was the diagnosis, not the medicine. You cannot save your face and your soul at the same time. You didn't fall out of love, you fell out of focus. And the one that anchors it all: you are not behind. You are right on time.
If you're new to Lights On, this episode is the door. If you've been walking with us for a while, this is a reminder of how far you've already come.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
How to actually change the climate of your home
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] Summer Shots series continues, and this week's shot is the simplest and hardest one yet. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura get into the …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
The Summer Shots series continues, and this week's shot is the simplest and hardest one yet. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura get into the third shot in the series: a 20-minute walk together, every day, for one week. And underneath it, the bigger conversation almost no couple is having on purpose. Who is actually setting the climate in your marriage?
Carl and Laura walk through the greenhouse metaphor: how plants and people alike thrive or wilt based on the environment they're placed in, and why most couples blame each other for things the climate was quietly producing all along. Together they name the five things that shape the atmosphere of every marriage: your words, your emotional presence, your habits, your attention, and your expectations. Change any one of them, and the whole house feels different.
You'll hear Carl get honest about how a spouse's climate can quietly cover for who they really are, and why "amending" the plan when life hits still counts as keeping the commitment. Laura walks through why side-by-side beats face-to-face for the hardest conversations in marriage, and why the couples who thrive are the ones building rhythms nobody's watching. Stay for the science behind why walking regulates your nervous system, the "too busy" excuse this challenge quietly exposes, and the bonus shot every married couple should try at least once: praying over each other out loud.
If you've been waiting for a perfect moment to change the tone of your home, this is the reminder that it doesn't work like that. Small, consistent decisions do.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
How to encourage your spouse in a way they actually feel
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] week Carl and Laura kicked off the Summer Shots series with the challenge to cut criticism for a full week. This week, they build on it with the …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
Last week Carl and Laura kicked off the Summer Shots series with the challenge to cut criticism for a full week. This week, they build on it with the second shot: intentional, specific, planned encouragement. Because taking something out only works if you put something better back in.
In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura get honest about why encouragement almost always gets lost the longer you're married, why "useful" isn't the same as "valued," and why so many people confuse being needed with being loved. They walk through a simple two-step plan any couple can try this week: a morning shot of intentional encouragement, and a 5pm identity text that reminds your spouse who they are, not just what they did.
You'll hear Laura get honest about the difference between appreciation and admiration, and why every spouse wants to be admired long after the newness fades. Carl speaks to the men still leading with "if she really loved me, she wouldn't need reminders," and why planning connection is not weakness. It's what people who value their marriage actually do. Nobody schedules criticism. But planned encouragement changes atmospheres.
Stay for the phone reminder story that will make you laugh out loud, the reframe that will land for someone this week ("you become what you're noticed for"), the difference between digging for gold and digging for dirt, and the seven-day experiment worth actually trying.
Home should feel different from the rest of the world. This week we get into how to make it that way on purpose.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Why criticism is quietly killing your marriage (and what to try instead)
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] people have never been taught how to apologize. And the ones who have often learned to do it in a way that quietly protects themselves instead of …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
Most people have never been taught how to apologize. And the ones who have often learned to do it in a way that quietly protects themselves instead of repairing anything.
In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura get honest about what a real apology actually looks like, why it's the single most important skill in a healthy relationship, and how a broken one has kept some of the best marriages stuck in the same fight for decades.
Carl and Laura walk through the tension almost every apology creates: needing to defend, needing to explain, needing to remind them of the ways they hurt you too. Any of it is enough to sink the whole thing. Laura opens up about the moments she stayed silent when she shouldn't have, and how that shaped a version of herself she doesn't want to be anymore. Carl gets direct with anyone still leading their apologies with the phrase that undoes every one of them: "I'm sorry, but..."
You'll hear the reframe that changes everything: the goal of an apology isn't a resolution, it's a genuine acknowledgment of hurt. You'll hear why over-apologizing is just as toxic as never apologizing, why some of us confuse tension for danger, and why the person who apologizes best in a marriage is usually the person who's healthiest. Stay for the anatomy of a real apology, the two-hour repair story that will make you cry-laugh, and the practical questions any couple can take home tonight to find out what's actually been getting in the way.
If you've been fighting the same fight for years, this one was made for you.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The alarm clock every marriage eventually hears
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] marriages don't fall apart in a single moment. They quietly erode under the weight of what nobody's willing to say out loud. In this episode of …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
Most marriages don't fall apart in a single moment. They quietly erode under the weight of what nobody's willing to say out loud. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura get honest about the one thing that changed everything for them, and could change everything for any couple willing to try it: radical honesty.
Carl and Laura walk through the alarm clock every marriage eventually hears. The one that sounds like distance, resentment, secrets, or that quiet voice saying something isn't right. Most couples hit snooze. And snooze. And snooze. Until the snooze button stops working. This episode is about waking up before you have to.
You'll hear Carl get honest about the exhausting tax of living with a mask on, and the relief that came when he finally put it down. Laura speaks directly to the wives quietly gaslighting themselves inside marriages where the alarm has been going off for years. Together they walk through the radical honesty inventory: three questions any couple can take to dinner tonight to start finding out what they've been protecting themselves from, what they're most afraid to hear, and where they've been settling for keeping the peace instead of telling the truth.
Stay for the image trap that quietly destroys marriages (especially in ministry and Christian circles), the "active lies" check every couple should run, and the line worth writing down: you cannot save your face and save your soul at the same time.
You don't need a catastrophe to become radically honest. You just need one conversation.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Chapters:
0:44 - Welcome to Lights On
1:50 - Dropping Your Daughter Off + A Word to Young Dads
3:25 - "Was Infidelity the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You?"
5:22 - Nothing Good About Infidelity
7:50 - Refusing to Be Defined by One Chapter
9:02 - What People Really Mean Is Honesty
10:37 - The Affair Was the Diagnosis, Not the Medicine
13:30 - You Don't Need Infidelity to Get Radically Honest
15:31 - Don't Wait for Catastrophe
17:56 - The Alarm Clock and the Snooze Button
22:20 - The Alarm Wasn't the Gift, Waking Up Was
24:33 - The Unexpected Relief of Dropping the Mask
27:16 - The Active Lies Check
28:40 - The Truth Hurts Before It Helps
31:09 - The Radical Honesty Inventory
33:42 - Answering the Questions 17 Years Later
36:09 - Question 2: What Question Would Scare You Most?
38:53 - Question 3: Peacekeeping vs. Truth-Telling
40:42 - The Image Trap
46:25 - Unsubscribing From the Image Trap
47:24 - You Can't Save Your Face and Your Soul at the Same Time
49:07 - Homework: One Radically Honest Conversation
50:24 - Don't Wait for Rock Bottom
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
How to come back to each other after years of drift
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] week Carl and Laura opened up the biggest question in marriage recovery: how do you stop being lonely in your marriage? This week, they pick up …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
Last week Carl and Laura opened up the biggest question in marriage recovery: how do you stop being lonely in your marriage? This week, they pick up right where that left off with the follow-up question thousands of couples are quietly asking. How do we actually come back to each other?
In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura tackle three real listener questions that get to the core of reconnection. How long does it take to come back after years of drift? What is a husband missing when his wife says she wants to reconnect but still feels miles away? And the big one: is it possible to fall back in love with the same person, or is that just wishful thinking?
You'll hear why connection has to be consistent, not complicated, and why every couple has to stop copying someone else's rhythm and find their own. Laura gets specific about why understanding is the single biggest step in reconnecting, and how comparing your marriage to what you see online is quietly stealing joy from a marriage that's actually working. Carl walks through the reframe that changes everything for a husband still waiting to see results: separate your desire from your dependency. You can want reconnection deeply and still not build your growth on whether the other person meets you there.
Stay for the frame that will land hard for someone this week: be impressed more easily. Small attempts turn into bigger ones when someone believes they can win. Plus the truth about repair attempts (the strongest predictor of long-term marital success), the "if you woke up tomorrow feeling connected, what would be different" question you can take home tonight, and the line that will stick: love is not a feeling. It's a choice.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Chapters:
0:38 - Welcome to Lights On
3:42 - Bill Maher on Scheduling Sex
6:32 - How Do You Come Back to Each Other?
8:59 - God Behind Bars
9:36 - Find Your Own Connection Rhythm
13:33 - Principle vs. Preference
17:10 - BetterHelp
18:08 - Q1: How Long Does Reconnection Take?
23:20 - Q2: "My Wife Still Feels Miles Away"
26:09 - Wonder Project
27:11 - Q3: Can You Fall Back in Love?
30:13 - Separate Desire From Dependency
32:24 - Be Easily Impressed by Your Spouse
34:38 - Policy Genius
36:47 - Back Each Other's Small Wins
38:31 - Why Repair Attempts Matter Most
43:34 - The KD Jump Shot Analogy
45:00 - Book Announcement + Ad: Hope Is Alive
45:41 - Life Is Short, Marriage Is Long
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
How to stop being lonely in your marriage
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] can be married and still lonely. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura get honest about one of the most under-talked-about realities in …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
You can be married and still lonely. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura get honest about one of the most under-talked-about realities in relationships: sitting next to someone every night and still feeling completely alone. If that sounds familiar, this one is for you.
Carl and Laura walk through three real listener questions that get to the heart of connection: the wife wondering if she's asking for too much when her husband is a great provider and dad, the man realizing fifteen years in that he doesn't actually know his wife anymore, and the couple caught in patterns from Gottman's Four Horsemen without knowing they were doing it. Together, they unpack why "we fell out of love" is almost never the truth, and what's actually happening underneath it.
You'll hear Laura get direct about the invisible weight women carry inside a lonely marriage, and the three questions every spouse should be asking themselves before asking anything of their partner. Carl gets blunt with the men: providing and protecting is the baseline, not the bar. He walks through the 4 D framework (decide, discover, design, delight) that changed how they show up for each other, why you have to win her every day instead of assuming you already have, and the shift that made intentional love feel less like effort and more like fuel.
Stay for the line worth writing down: hysterical fights point to historical hurt, the reminder that clarity is kindness, and the reframe that just might rescue your marriage from autopilot. You don't fall out of love. You fall out of focus.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Chapters:
0:45 - Welcome to Lights On
1:19 - Laura's Double Ear Infection
5:13 - Subscribe & Fan Mail
5:39 - Connected vs. Lonely Marriage
6:33 - Why Connection Means Better Fights
7:37 - This Week's Fight & Fast Repair
10:46 - God Behind Bars
11:27 - Fast Repair Equals Real Connection
13:50 - Introducing the Lonely Marriage
15:10 - How Men and Women Go Missing Differently
16:16 - Carrying the Invisible Load
17:48 - Being Lonely Is a Choice
18:32 - Q1: "Am I Asking for Too Much?"
19:57 - Providing Is the Baseline, Not the Bar
22:01 - Loneliness Isn't About Distance
23:57 - BetterHelp
24:59 - Three Questions to Get Clear on What You Need
26:39 - Vague Expectations Guarantee Disappointment
28:11 - Clarity Is Kindness
30:12 - Q2: The Four Horsemen
30:31 - Every Couple Fights Behind the Scenes
32:43 - Hysterical Fights Point to Historical Hurt
33:52 - Q3: "We Fell Out of Love" Is a Cop-Out
35:25 - Wonder Project
36:26 - You Feel What You Focus On
40:24 - The Honeymoon Season Always Ends
41:07 - The 4 D Framework
42:45 - Winning Her Every Day
46:02 - Policy Genius
47:42 - Discover, Design, Delight
53:04 - Attention, Not Perfection
54:09 - Hope Is Alive
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
What Your Anger is Actually Trying to Tell You
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] listener wrote in with a question almost every betrayed spouse eventually wrestles with: I have every right to be angry, but I can feel it turning …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
A listener wrote in with a question almost every betrayed spouse eventually wrestles with: I have every right to be angry, but I can feel it turning me into someone I don't want to be. How do I let go of my anger without letting him off the hook? In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura take that question seriously and reframe one of the most misunderstood emotions in relationships.
Anger isn't bad. Anger isn't just justified. Anger is information. And what most people are really fighting isn't the anger itself, it's the way unmanaged anger quietly turns into contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling. The kind that destroys homes long after the original wound stops bleeding.
You'll hear Laura get honest about the anger she's still navigating six years later, the grief underneath it, and why an angry version of her was never going to lead anywhere good. Carl gets blunt with the men: a real man who has done what he's done keeps the hook in himself for life, so anyone afraid of "letting him off the hook" is fearing the wrong thing. He walks through the basketball blowup that woke him up to his own anger, the friends he was actually grieving, not raging at, and the shift from who am I angry at to what am I angry about that changes the entire conversation.
Stay for the three options every angry person quietly chooses between (manage it, suppress it, heal it), the smoke and fire metaphor that reframes the whole journey, and the one-line journaling exercise that will start to surface what your anger is actually sitting on top of.
Whether you're carrying anger from betrayal, friendship loss, or just years of unspoken hurt, this episode is built to help you stop fighting the smoke and start finding the fire.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Chapters:
2:40 - Hobby Lobby Story
4:54 - When Anger Is Trying to Help You
8:12 - The Listener Question
9:19 - Ad: God Behind Bars
9:52 - Laura's Anger Journey After Betrayal
17:16 - Anger Isn't Bad or Justified. It's Information.
21:14 - Who Are You Angry At vs. What Are You Angry About
24:08 - What Righteous Anger Actually Looks Like
26:31 - Ad: BetterHelp
29:29 - What's Your Anger Sitting On Top Of?
32:03 - Why Men Struggle to Get Under Their Anger
32:48 - Carl: The Basketball Blowup
35:27 - Carl: The Friends I Was Actually Grieving
38:34 - Ad: Wonder Project
38:51 - Refuse to Let It Become Who You Are
40:36 - Option 1: Manage It
42:07 - Option 2: Suppress It
43:45 - Option 3: Heal It
45:59 - Manager vs. Suppressor: Our Anger Styles
48:00 - Honesty Over "Fixing" in Marriage
51:10 - Ad: Policy Genius
51:33 - The Journaling Exercise
53:41 - Closing Challenge
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The two decisions every couple has to make after betrayal
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] last week's episode reframing the most asked question in betrayal recovery, Carl and Laura pick up exactly where they left off. In this episode …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
After last week's episode reframing the most asked question in betrayal recovery, Carl and Laura pick up exactly where they left off. In this episode of Lights On, they introduce what they call the two decision reality: the framework that quietly carried them out of the valley and into the marriage they have now.
Most couples think they have one decision to make after betrayal. Stay or leave. Carl and Laura make the case for two. Decision one: will I become healthy? Decision two: what do I want to do with this marriage? And the reason so many couples stay stuck is because they're trying to answer the second question while completely ignoring the first.
You'll hear why making a marriage decision in the aftermath of betrayal is like driving drunk, like grocery shopping while starving, like reading a compass during an earthquake. Why trauma, anger, desperation, fear, and shame are the worst decision-makers in the room, and why slowing down isn't weakness. It's wisdom. Laura speaks to the women still trying to hold a family together with a shattered nervous system, and the kids who need a healed parent more than they need an immediate answer. Carl gets direct with the men: much of the marriage decision may no longer belong to you, but the decision to get healthy still does. And he walks through the questions every betrayer has to sit with before claiming they've actually changed.
Stay for the next 90 days challenge, the difference between remorse and recovery, and the line that should settle every man wondering what to do while he waits: building yourself with hope and faith is the only thing that's actually yours to do.
This is part two of a multi-part conversation. Next week, Carl and Laura get into the real cost of staying.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Chapters:
0:49 - Welcome Back
1:27 - Last Week's Recap
3:04 - The Hardest Choice Isn't Staying or Leaving
4:25 - The Two Decision Reality (Decision #1)
5:39 - God Behind Bars
6:18 - Decision #2: What Do I Do With This Marriage?
7:18 - You Shouldn't Be Driving Right Now
8:53 - Why Trauma Shouldn't Make the Call
10:52 - Grocery Shopping While Starving
12:13 - Healthy Enough, Not Perfect
13:02 - Better Questions to Ask Yourself
14:16 - The Next 90 Days Challenge
14:38 - First Steps: Therapy and Recovery Groups
15:16 - The Power of Telling the Truth
16:33 - BetterHelp
17:36 - Decide Your Healing Matters
18:16 - What Your Kids Actually Need
19:50 - Carl: My Daughter's Delayed Pain
23:03 - Wonder Project
24:07 - The Goal Is Becoming Healthy
24:42 - To the Spouse Who Broke Trust
27:04 - Questions for Radical Honesty
28:02 - Policy Genius
29:32 - More Questions: Outcome, Identity, Change
31:20 - Image, Remorse, and Recovery
33:10 - Where This Leaves You
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Should I stay or should I leave? (You're asking the wrong question)
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] betrayal, almost every couple lands on the same question: should I stay or should I leave? In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura make the …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
After betrayal, almost every couple lands on the same question: should I stay or should I leave? In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura make the case that this is the wrong question, and the rush to answer it is one of the most damaging moves a couple can make in the aftermath of infidelity.
Drawing from their own season in the valley, Carl and Laura get into why urgency is not wisdom, why most of what people call certainty after betrayal is really just desperation looking for relief, and why two unhealthy people making any decision (stay or leave) will end up carrying the same wound into whatever comes next. They explain why the first mission is not the marriage. The first mission is health.
You'll hear Carl get blunt about the level of breakdown a man has to be in to break his vows, and why "I made a mistake" misses the whole road that led there. Laura speaks directly to the wives wondering if they should be alarmed at how quickly forgiveness is being asked for, the friendships that ended because she didn't leave, and why she still says space (legal or not) is almost always the right move. Together, they introduce the better questions, the ones nobody wants to ask first but everyone eventually needs to: am I safe, am I getting real help, am I confident I have the whole truth, and what would becoming healthier actually look like for me in the next 90 days?
Stay for the line that may flip everything for you: unhealthy people can stay and unhealthy people can leave. Neither decision guarantees healing. The decision itself is not the cure.
This is part one of a multi-part conversation. The next episode picks up where this one leaves off. Bring your questions.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Chapters:
0:38 - Welcome
1:42 - The Real First Question After Betrayal
3:00 - Why "Stay or Leave" Is the Wrong Question
3:39 - Laura: The Hardest Choice Is Getting Healthy
4:31 - The Pressure to Decide Now
6:14 - God Behind Bars
6:56 - The Obsession With the Marriage Itself
7:41 - Unhealthy People Can Stay or Leave
8:28 - The Decision Itself Is Not the Cure
8:47 - Laura: What You Carry If You Leave Unhealed
9:45 - Carl: What You Carry If You Stay Unhealed
10:37 - Betrayal Gets to Hurt You Twice
10:59 - Going Through It Isn't the Same as Overcoming It
11:30 - Laura: We Chose Health, Not the Marriage
12:05 - BetterHelp
13:00 - Health Gives Wisdom. Trauma Gives Reaction.
13:23 - What Carl Heard in Rehab
15:16 - How the Internet Gets This Wrong
15:43 - The Bad Advice That Hurts Women
17:22 - When Staying Immediately Isn't Strength
17:47 - When Friends Walked Away
19:30 - Laura: I Built Boundaries, Not Just Stayed
20:04 - Wonder Project
20:48 - "The Strongest Woman I Know"
22:12 - Why Separation Should Almost Always Come First
22:32 - Does He Know He's Not Well?
23:20 - It's Not the Act. It's the Road.
24:25 - Laura: What Staying Actually Took
24:45 - The Internal Condition Tells the Story
25:13 - Why Some Men Leave for the Wrong Reasons
26:20 - Policy Genius
27:38 - Where Do You Actually Start?
28:19 - Laura's Questions to Ask First
29:22 - "Do I Have the Whole Truth?"
30:08 - Don't Proceed Without the Full Truth
31:01 - Better Questions, Not Answers
32:17 - What's Coming Next
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
You Will Not Get Around to a Healthy Marriage "Someday" (Part 2 with the Metcalfs)
Charles and Abby Metcalf are back at the table, and this one goes deeper than part one. In this episode of Lights On, Carl, Laura, Charles, and Abby get into the parts of marriage that quietly erode underneath …
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Charles and Abby Metcalf are back at the table, and this one goes deeper than part one. In this episode of Lights On, Carl, Laura, Charles, and Abby get into the parts of marriage that quietly erode underneath the busy life of raising kids: the conflicts that aren't actually about what they look like, the unspoken games we play hoping our spouse will read our minds, the way two exhausted people can drift apart without ever raising their voices, and the truth most couples never address out loud about what's happening (or not happening) in their bedroom.
You'll hear Abby tell the story of the moment her old toxic game broke wide open with one shouted question her husband couldn't answer, why both couples agree your sex life is the clearest drift indicator you have, and the slow, sneaky death of "I should be able to do this myself." Carl gets honest about what it actually looks like for a man with a history of betrayal to learn how to ask for support again, and how the "deposit before the withdrawal" frame keeps him steady. Laura speaks to the women still afraid to be honest about what they need, and what it cost her to stop playing the small games she didn't even know she was playing.
Stay for the complaint to compliment log challenge, the two-minute eye contact experiment that exposes how present you've actually been, the hand-hold-while-you-fight trick, and the line that should be written on the wall of every married couple's house: you will not get around to a healthy marriage someday.
This is part two with the Metcalfs. Bring your spouse.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Follow Charles at: https://www.instagram.com/charlesmetcalf/
Follow Abby at: https://www.instagram.com/abbyrosemetcalf/
Chapters:
0:00 – Cold Open
1:07 – Welcome Back: Charles & Abby Metcalf, Part 2
3:09 – How Kids Change a Marriage
4:01 – The Conflict That Keeps Showing Up
8:40 – Abby on Doing Deep Inner Work While Mothering
10:26 – God Behind Bars
10:59 – Why You Can't Process Everything at Home
12:29 – Small Fights, Big Resentment
16:06 – Homework: One Way to Make Them Feel Supported
17:08 – Why Wives Don't Ask for Help
18:04 – BetterHelp
19:04 – Creating Safety for an Honest Answer
22:31 – What If They're Actually Trying Their Best?
25:43 – Stop Guessing. Start Asking.
28:45 – Grieving the Toxic Patterns You Grew Up With
29:56 – Homework: "I Feel Most Supported When..."
32:35 – Extra Credit: Hand-Holding and Eye Contact
34:31 – Wonder Project
35:15 – For the Husband Who Broke Trust
39:19 – Bids for Connection
41:31 – Why You Need Trusted Friends Outside the Marriage
42:20 – Reading the Room
44:34 – Grace When Their Effort Doesn't Land
46:23 – Policy Genius
47:34 – Where Graciousness Actually Comes From
50:03 – It's Never Too Late to Repair a Rejected Bid
51:22 – Wives, You Set the Temperature of the Home
52:38 – Complimenting Your Spouse in Front of Your Kids
53:30 – The Complaint-to-Compliment Log
54:12 – Marriage Drift Is Real
54:39 – Your Sex Life Is Telling the Truth
56:00 – Abby: When Sex Stopped Feeling Like a Chore
58:06 – If Sex Feels Secretive, Start Here
59:12 – If Sex Is Infrequent, Ask This First
1:00:22 – Why Withholding Sex Is Dangerous for Both of You
1:02:21 – Find a Healthy "Normal" From Couples You Trust
1:03:13 – Don't Make Sex a Reward System
1:06:30 – Your Patterns Today Are Your Marriage Tomorrow
1:07:57 – Tomorrow Is a Brand New Start
1:08:46 – Don't Ignore the Warning Signs
1:09:24 – Marriage Is Still the Coolest Thing
1:10:38 – Outro + Shoutout: God Behind Bars
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
What Kids Actually Do to Your Marriage | Ft. Charles and Abby Metcalf
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] the first time on Lights On, Carl and Laura invited guests to the table: Charles and Abby Metcalf, dear friends, pastors, and parents of four …
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Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
For the first time on Lights On, Carl and Laura invited guests to the table: Charles and Abby Metcalf, dear friends, pastors, and parents of four little ones in the thick of the season most couples privately worry they won't survive. Together, the four of them get into the question hundreds of you have asked in different ways: what do kids actually do to a marriage, and how do you stay best friends through it?
In this episode of Lights On, Carl, Laura, Charles, and Abby get honest about the parts of marriage that kids quietly expose. The impatience you didn't know was in you. The differences in parenting style that suddenly feel personal. The way two exhausted people can drift from lovers into co-managers without anyone noticing. The way "teammate energy" sneaks in and steals what brought you together in the first place.
You'll hear Charles tell the story of his Mother's Day attempt to do everything alone (and the wrath of God that followed), why Abby believes a confident, joyful mom is the most valuable thing a household can have, and why both couples agree the best parents are always the best friends. Laura speaks directly to the moms carrying invisible weight, the ones who never get asked what they actually need. Carl speaks to the dads who clock out at work and clock out again at home, and the small mental shift that flips everything.
Stay for the homework prompts you can take to dinner this week, the "what's in the way of becoming co-managers" frame that will change how you protect your marriage, and the line that lands no matter what season you're in: you are doing so much better than you think you are.
This is part one with the Metcalfs. They're coming back. Bring a notebook.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Follow Charles at: https://www.instagram.com/charlesmetcalf/
Follow Abby at: https://www.instagram.com/abbyrosemetcalf/
Chapters:
0:00 - Intro:
0:56 - Welcome & Meet the Guests: Charles & Abby Metcalf
3:29 - Learning Each Other Before Having Kids
5:13 - A Stranger's Kind Words at a Diner (Story)
6:52 - What Shocked Us Most About Having Kids (Impatience & Overstimulation)
10:39 - How Parenting Exposes Fragile Parts of Your Marriage
11:18 - GOD BEHIND BARS
11:50 - What Stretches Your Marriage the Most: Exhaustion & the "Same Team" Mindset
13:27 - Navigating Different Parenting Styles Without Undermining Each Other
15:28 - Have Ground Rules for Disagreeing in Front of the Kids
16:01 - When Marriage Becomes Survival Mode: How to Move Toward Thriving
17:18 - Homework: Ask What Drains & Restores Your Partner
18:06 - The Drift: How Couples Quietly Become Teammates Instead of Lovers
19:13 - How the Metcalfs Protect Their Friendship (Thursday Date Night)
22:14 - Flip the Script: Let Marriage Get in the Way of the Kids
23:11 - Better Help
24:10 - Staying Curious About Each Other as You Both Change
25:31 - Practical Tip: Create One Recurring Friendship Interruption This Month
27:01 - What Kids Learn by Watching Mom and Dad Prioritize Each Other
28:31 - Hold Yourself to the Same Standard You'd Hold a Son-in-Law To
29:12 - When Both Partners Feel Unseen: Invisible Weight
32:05 - Silent Anger Becomes Resentment — Naming It Before It's Toxic
33:44 - The Unseen Weight of Being a Mom
36:08 - Wonder Project
37:12 - Charles doing Mother's Day Solo With All Four Kids (Story)
38:27 - No iPads, Homeschooling & the Extra Layer of Demand on Mom
39:27 - The Resentment Trap When Both Parents Come Home Exhausted
41:28 - Building a Daily Structure That Gives Everyone Space to Breathe
43:38 - Intentional Architecture: Design Your Life Before the Fires Start
44:56 - Appreciating What Mom Holds — The "Walk Into the Ocean" Story
46:18 - The Most Common Root of Marriage Tension: Not Feeling Seen
47:00 - Policy Genius
48:10 - Laura's Story: Not Knowing Who She Was Outside of Her Family
49:52 - Women Finding Their Voice & Overcoming Mom Guilt
51:42 - Stop Getting Parenting Advice From Social Media
53:07 - The Value of Friendships That Actually Know You (Tornado Story)
55:52 - When Mom Is Flourishing, Everyone Is Better
57:54 - Homework: Ask What Makes Your Spouse Feel Most Unseen
59:38 - Speak Well of Your Spouse Behind Their Back
1:00:13 - The LeBron Effect: Moms Are So Good We Take Them for Granted
1:01:16 - Closing: Come Back Next Week for Part 2
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How do you rebuild intimacy after betrayal?
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] This is the number one question Carl and Laura get asked, so they finally gave it a whole episode. A listener wrote in asking how you rebuild …
Notas do episódio
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
This is the number one question Carl and Laura get asked, so they finally gave it a whole episode. A listener wrote in asking how you rebuild intimacy when sex, touch, and closeness have all become wired to pain, pressure, and fear. Underneath it sat the question almost nobody says out loud: will we ever have sex again?
In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura get honest about why intimacy after betrayal breaks down so fast, and why the problem is almost never that the intimacy disappeared. It's that the order got destroyed. They walk through what Laura calls the architecture of intimacy, the healthy sequence real connection actually flows through, and the broken version that quietly pushes couples toward divorce or a lonely marriage they never had to end up in.
You'll hear why pressure is the one thing that shuts a nervous system down completely, why the price tag for future intimacy is elite patience, and why becoming a student of your spouse's nervous system will do more than any romantic gesture ever could. Carl gets blunt with the men still leading with "but I have needs." Laura speaks directly to the women carrying comparison, fear, and the quiet belief that they should want intimacy by now.
Stay for the follow the order checklist, a set of questions you can actually take to dinner this week, the truth about why women trust patterns and not emotion, and the two words that change everything for a man trying to rebuild: build stability.
Whether you're walking through repair or you just want a marriage that's more alive than it's ever been, this conversation is built to give you order, and order brings peace.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Chapters:
0:32 - Welcome
2:50 - Will We Ever Have Sex Again?
3:41 - What We Can Actually Help With Today
4:56 - The Biggest Mistake Couples Make After Betrayal
5:41 - There Is an Order to Repairing Broken Trust
7:03 - The Architecture of Intimacy
8:12 - The Healthy Order: Safety → Connection → Security → Desire
9:42 - The Broken Order & Where It Leads
11:10 - God Behind Bars
11:43 - The Problem Is the Order Got Destroyed, Not That Intimacy Is Gone
13:19 - You're Not Broken, You're Not Rejected — You're Out of Order
14:25 - Don't Make This About You
17:10 - The #1 Thing Women Say Makes Intimacy So Hard: Pressure
18:34 - You Can Have Intimacy Again, But It'll Cost You Patience
20:45 - BetterHelp
21:45 - What About Husbands Who've Done the Work But She's Not Moving?
22:16 - Wanting Sex Isn't Wrong — Demanding It Is
23:11 - Stop Trying to Be Romantic. Become a Student of Her Nervous System
25:29 - It Does Help to Be Handsome — But Stability Is More Attractive
27:05 - A Wife Has Never Left a Kind Man. Ever.
28:03 - Carl Asks Laura: What Actually Healed You?
29:02 - Desire Returns Through Safety, Not Timelines
31:03 - Wonder Project
32:07 - What's Actually Going On Inside the Woman You Betrayed
33:47 - Patience Is a Skill & the Impatient Man Caused This Problem
34:17 - Delaying Gratification Speaks Volumes to Her
34:43 - You Cannot Pray Your Way Out of Hard Work
37:08 - Two Words Every Man Needs: Build Stability
40:34 - The Woman Can Break the Order. You Cannot.
42:20 - Follow the Order Checklist
43:46 - Policy Genius
44:58 - Have We Removed Pressure From the Intimacy Conversation?
45:45 - Are We Building Connection Outside the Bedroom?
46:41 - More Stable or Just More Apologetic?
47:31 - Are We Creating New Experiences or Only Processing Pain?
48:35 - Do We Understand Each Other's Nervous System Better?
48:59 - Real Life: Laura Loses It After Moving Kids Home
50:14 - Have We Become More Honest This Week?
51:05 - Don't Crush Him for Being Honest
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
How do you parent your kids when you feel disqualified?
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] a parent emailed asking how to discipline their kids after blowing up the family, we knew this conversation needed its own episode. Their …
Notas do episódio
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
When a parent emailed asking how to discipline their kids after blowing up the family, we knew this conversation needed its own episode. Their question went deeper than discipline though. It was about authority. How do you lead your kids when you feel completely disqualified? And how do you stabilize their nervous system when yours is barely holding together?
In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura sit with the parent who knows the unique pain of trying to show up for their kids after wrecking the very thing that was supposed to make them feel safe. They walk through three pillars that have carried their own family through six years of repair: posture, honesty, and confidence. None of them are what most people assume they are.
You'll hear why your kids don't lose respect when you fail, they lose it when you pretend you didn't. Why removing discipline out of guilt actually steals the safety your children are craving most. Why secrecy "to protect them" usually does the opposite, and what the merry-go-round study reveals about the boundaries kids actually need. Carl gets honest about the dad voice that had to be retired and the one that took its place. Laura speaks directly to the betrayed spouse navigating their own version of this, and why the temptation to triangulate with your kids is one of the most costly choices a parent can make.
Stay for the lighthouse metaphor, the turbulence-on-a-plane illustration that will change the way you talk to your kids about hard things, and the honest truth about how we tagged in and tagged out on the days neither of them had anything left to give.
If you're parenting through repair, or watching someone you love try to, this one is for you.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Chapters:
0:00 - Intro
0:41 - Welcome & Episode Overview
1:25 - Book Announcement & How to Reach the Show
1:59 - The email
2:46 - Why This Moment Can Go Right or Wrong
3:45 - The 3 Keys: Posture, Honesty & Confidence
3:56 - What "Posture" Actually Means
4:26 - Wrong Posture: "I'm Still the Parent, Do What I Say"
5:01 - Right Posture: Own It, Repair It, Show Up Every Day
5:49 - Kids Lose Respect When You Pretend Nothing Happened
6:20 - The Guilt Trap: Why Discipline Can't Disappear
7:03 - Removing Discipline Removes Safety
7:49 - What Discipline Actually Sounds Like Now
8:46 - Holding the Line Consistently Rebuilds Trust
9:32 - Being Firm AND Humble at the Same Time
10:51 - God Behind Bars
11:24 - Correct With Empathy, Not Just Authority
12:16 - Discipline From Responsibility, Not Guilt
13:32 - Honesty — Why Parents Get This Wrong
14:18 - Silence Seeds More Instability (Real Story: Charlie)
16:00 - The Pattern You're Setting Without Knowing It
17:16 - What Honesty Actually Looks Like (Without Oversharing)
18:25 - BetterHelp
19:25 - Pushback: "I Don't Want to Break My Kid's Heart"
20:28 - Sample Language to Use With Your Kids
21:21 - The Fence Study: Why Kids Need Boundaries
22:09 - Secrecy Destroys Trust
22:33 - Turbulence Analogy: Be the Pilot, Not the Silence
23:30 - The Cost of Waiting Too Long to Be Honest
25:06 - Confidence — The Stabilizer
26:47 - The Betrayed Spouse's Crucial Role
27:26 - Wonder Project
28:30 - Don't Put Kids in the Middle
29:20 - Kids Will Be Angry, Test You, and Lose Trust — That's Normal
29:49 - Your Job: Stay Consistent, Not Control Their Reaction
30:56 - The Spouse's Rôle: Supporting Rebuilding
31:43 - When Kids Push Back: Simple Language That Works
33:04 - Find a Safe Outlet — Don't Dump on Your Kids
33:40 - The Lighthouse Dad Analogy
34:46 - Policy Genius
35:56 - How Did You Stabilize the Kids When You Were Unstable?
37:44 - Progress Isn't Linear — Good Days, Bad Days, Keep Going
38:09 - More Clinical Help on Kids' Nervous Systems Is Coming
38:47 - Final Encouragement: Recap of Posture, Honesty & Confidence
40:20 - Outro & How to Reach the Show
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How Do You Know When FORGIVENESS Is REAL?
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] a husband emailed asking why his wife still brings up his affair every week, three years after it happened, even though she says she has forgiven …
Notas do episódio
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
When a husband emailed asking why his wife still brings up his affair every week, three years after it happened, even though she says she has forgiven him, we knew this conversation was going to land for a lot of people. His question was simple and brave: am I allowed to ask for more? And underneath it sits the question nobody wants to say out loud. What's the difference between a spouse who is genuinely still healing, and a spouse who is using the past as a weapon?
In this episode of Lights On, We got into the full timeline of recovery after betrayal: the early trauma phase, the processing phase, and the long rebuilding phase that doesn't end the way most couples expect. We explain why "time heals all wounds" is one of the worst lies ever sold, why some marriages get stuck in what they call a hostage crisis, and how to tell the difference between healing pain and recycled pain.
You'll hear the sponge metaphor that has helped more couples than we can count. The guardrails every rebuilding marriage needs. The hard truth for women who say they want a strong man back while still breaking him down daily. And the even harder truth for men who keep leading with "don't I have the right" instead of "I'm choosing to own this."
Whether you're three months in, three years in, or quietly sitting in pain longer than you want to admit, this episode is built to give you clarity. Because clarity is the thing that brings the power back into the room.
We closed with the three choices every couple has to make: heal, heal together, or heal separately. The only option that doesn't exist is no plan.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Chapters:
0:00 - Intro
2:38 - Welcome
3:27 - The Email — "She Says She Forgave Me But Her Actions Say Otherwise"
4:18 - Are You Allowed to Ask for More?
5:45 - What You Lose the Right to Ask
6:34 - You Still Deserve Basic Dignity
7:56 - Where Is This Marriage Going?
8:37 - When She Stays But Won't Heal
9:07 - The Healing Timeline Explained
10:28 - Phase 1 — Chaos (0–3 Months)
11:04 - God Behind Bars
11:36 - Phase 2 — Processing (3–12 Months)
12:05 - Phase 3 — Rebuilding (1–2 Years+)
13:04 - Why "Time Heals All Wounds" Is a Lie
18:18 - BetterHelp
19:18 - What Real Healing Actually Looks Like
21:45 - The Sponge Analogy
23:08 - Using the Past as a Weapon vs. Processing It
24:38 - You Never Have to Forget
25:13 - The Ground Rules That Keep You Both Safe
27:25 - How Your Words Are Building or Destroying Your Husband
28:49 - Wonder Project
29:53 - Stop Being Vague About How You're Healing
31:12 - Getting Clear About Intimacy
32:50 - How Do You Know Someone Is Actually Healing?
33:04 - When Therapy Makes Things Worse
35:29 - She's Not Cold. She's Firm.
36:52 - Policy Genius
38:02 - Forgiveness and Rebuilding Are Not the Same Thing
38:31 - The Posture Every Husband Needs Right Now
39:55 - You Have to Learn to Meet Your Own Needs
41:23 - Stop Leading With "Don't I Have Rights?"
43:03 - Six Years Later — It Still Shows Up
44:58 - The Three Choices Every Couple Has to Make
46:56 - Are You Choosing to Heal Today?
48:04 - Outro
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Ambition or Family? You're asking the WRONG question | ft. Ruslan KD
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] episode explores the tension between "be the light of the world" and "live a quiet life" - and why both can coexist in the same calling. Carl …
Notas do episódio
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
This episode explores the tension between "be the light of the world" and "live a quiet life" - and why both can coexist in the same calling. Carl sits down with Ruslan Alkhouri, the Armenian refugee turned seven-figure media entrepreneur, about faithfulness before platform, godly ambition versus worldly fame, and why implementation always beats information.
The conversation covers twenty years of faithful local service that nobody saw, how God breathed on Ruslan's YouTube platform during the pandemic, and the controversial topic of wealth in ministry. You'll hear why your assignment is seasonal but your purpose is constant, and why you can't change people no matter how hard you try.
If you're wrestling with how to build something meaningful without losing your soul, or wondering whether your current season of faithfulness will ever lead to breakthrough, this conversation was made for you.
Follow Carl at: instagram.com/carllentz
Follow Laura at: instagram.com/lauralentz
Follow Ruslan at: instagram.com/ruslankd
Supported by Wonder Project https://www.thewonderproject.com/
Supported by God Behind Bars https://www.godbehindbars.com/
Supported by Policy Genius https://www.policygenius.com/
Supported by Better Help https://www.betterhelp.com/
Chapters:
0:00 – Intro Highlights
0:56 – Meet the Guest: Ruslan
1:41 – From Armenian Refugee to Gangster Culture
4:35 – Finding Faith & Surrendering His Life
5:18 – 20 Years of Serving Quietly Before the Platform
7:30 – Shifting Away from Call-Out Culture
9:30 – Wonder Project (Sponsor)
10:35 – Getting Under Healthy Leadership at Rhythm Church
13:05 – Did He Feel Behind? The Engine of Godly Ambition
21:03 – God Behind Bars (Sponsor)
21:35 – Who Is This Book For?
29:39 – Policy Genius (Sponsor)
30:49 – Ambition Is Evil… Or Is It?
32:08 – The Comparison Trap & Social Media Lies
34:18 – "Live a Quiet Life" – The Most Misused Scripture
36:32 – The State of Culture: Distrust in Institutions
43:00 – Purpose Is Constant, Assignment Is Seasonal
45:31 – Small Habits Build Great Men
46:41 – BetterHelp (Sponsor)
47:41 – What You Do ≠ Who You Are
51:05 – Talent Stacking: Nothing Is Wasted
53:03 – Biblical Financial Literacy & The Missing Conversation
58:30 – Generosity Is a State of Mind
1:03:34 – Closing: The Book & Final Words
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
How Do You Parent Kids Through Marriage Trauma?
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] a mom of three teenage boys emailed us asking how to lead her family through the aftermath of her husband's betrayal, we knew this conversation …
Notas do episódio
Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]
When a mom of three teenage boys emailed us asking how to lead her family through the aftermath of her husband's betrayal, we knew this conversation needed its own episode. Her oldest son has gone cold. The anger is hardening. The whole family is weary. And she's wondering if the work she and her husband are doing will ever be enough to reach the kids who didn't choose any of this.
In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura sit with the question every couple in recovery eventually has to face: how do you parent well while your kids are still reacting to something you created? Drawing from six years on this road with their own three children, they reframe the question entirely, walk through what the adolescent brain is actually capable of processing, and offer five principles that have carried their family through layered, lagging, multi-year healing.
You'll hear why the most dangerous timeline in family recovery is the one in your head. Why your son's anger is not his final form. Why "show me, don't tell me" is the only currency teenagers will spend. And why the goal isn't to win your kids back, it's to become so steady, so safe, and so full of life that the ice has no choice but to melt.
If you're a parent in the thick of repair work, or you're watching someone you love try to lead a family through the consequences of a hard year, this one was written for you. Carl gets honest about shame, consistency, and the moments his own kids have caught him still mirroring their pain. Laura speaks directly to the fear underneath your child's reactions: they didn't just lose trust in you, they lost trust in life itself.
Stay for the metaphors that will outlast the episode (the garden, the ice block, the leaking roof) and the reminder that you are not behind. You are right on time.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Supported by Wonder Project
https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/offers/ref=atv_3p_amz_c_CDvZ9m_1_1?benefitId=wonderprojectus
CHAPTERS:
0:00 Intro
0:58 Welcome to Lights On
1:00 The Listener's Email
2:51 The Family's Story
4:24 Why This Episode Matters
5:11 Reframing the Question
7:07 How Kids Process Betrayal
8:00 Children Heal on Their Own Timeline
10:13 The 5 Principles
11:01 Resetting Expectations
13:08 Principle 1: Don't Mirror Your Kids
18:07 The Garden Mindset
20:03 When Shame Tries to Win
21:34 They Lost Trust in Life
24:17 Leading When They're Not Okay
25:00 One Day at a Time
29:03 Answer Pain with Patience
30:28 Your Calm Heals Them
31:58 Show the Repair
34:04 Holding the Line with Grace
35:20 Keep Encouraging Therapy
36:44 Principle 2: Anger Isn't Their Final Form
38:35 Principle 3: You Can't Rush Trust
40:06 Do It Because You're Healthy
40:58 Control Your Consistency, Not Them
41:19 Principle 4: Lead by Example
43:10 Kids Notice Everything
44:25 Let Them See the Repair
45:03 Repair in Front of Them
46:47 Principle 5: Heat, Not Pressure
48:00 Creating Safety Over Time
49:20 Don't Give Up
49:54 Outro & Sponsors
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
50 Pills a Day. 15 Years Sober. Here's What Changed.
If you or someone you love is trapped in addiction and you've run out of answers, call Hope Is Alive at 1-844-3-HOPE-NOW or visit hopeisalive.netIn this honest and hope-filled episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz …
Notas do episódio
If you or someone you love is trapped in addiction and you've run out of answers, call Hope Is Alive at 1-844-3-HOPE-NOW or visit hopeisalive.net
In this honest and hope-filled episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz sits down with Lance Lang — pastor's kid turned 50-pill-a-day addict turned founder of Hope Is Alive — for a conversation that will change the way you see addiction forever. Lance breaks down the moment he hit rock bottom, why addiction doesn't care about your last name, your bank account, or your upbringing, and how one full confession in his uncle's office on April 6th, 2011 became the first day of the rest of his life. Carl and Lance dismantle the stigma that rehab is for people who've lost everything, explain why explanations are not excuses but tools, and make the case that sobriety is not a surrender — it's a superpower. From the lie that you're too busy to get help, to the three things every family member of an addict needs to hear, to why the cost of not going is always greater than the cost of going, this episode is a lifeline for anyone who's been waiting for a sign. Whether you're the one struggling in silence, the spouse who's tried everything, or the parent sitting in a pew next to someone who's carrying the same secret you are — this is your moment.
Drawing from 23 years of marriage and their own journey through betrayal, rebuilding, and recovery, Carl and Laura created Lights On to bring light to the areas of life where we need it most.
If this episode gave you hope or you're ready to take the next step, don't wait. Call Hope Is Alive at 1-844-3-HOPE-NOW or visit hopeisalive.net
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Lance at: hopeisalive.net
Hope Is Alive: hopeisalive.net
Supported by God Behind Bars - https://godbehindbars.com
Supported by Plana - https://plana.org/
CHAPTERS:
0:00 - Welcome to Lights On
1:56 - Lance Lang: Pastor's Kid, Drug Addict, Founder
3:56 - Addiction Doesn't Discriminate
8:39 - Rock Bottom: 50 Pills a Day
9:55 - The First Full Confession
10:27 - 90 Days That Changed Everything
13:53 - God Behind Bars Partnership
16:00 - What People Get Wrong About Addiction
21:05 - Explanations Are Not Excuses
23:18 - Remove the Stigma From Rehab
25:29 - Hope Is Alive: Recovery Done Differently
31:01 - Finding Hope: Support Groups for Families
33:15 - You're Not Alone. It's Not Your Fault. There Is Hope.
40:21 - Plana Partnership
41:02 - Sobriety Is Your Superpower
43:49 - Recovery Is Not Just Sobriety — It's Identity
46:23 - Try the Drug Called Hope
47:54 - How to Call Hope Is Alive Right Now
49:25 - A Word to the Addict Listening
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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