Not As We Planned
- Episódios
- 158
- Publicação
- semanal
- Último episódio
- 22 out 2026
Sobre o podcast
New episodes every Thursday, with exclusive bonus episodes every Monday on Patreon.
Welcome to Not As We Planned, the honest podcast about relationships, dating, marriage, divorce and motherhood, and all the things no one really talks about.
From becoming a mum and navigating divorce, to rebuilding life as a single mum and dating again in your 30s, we’re sharing the real, messy and unexpected sides of it all.
Life doesn’t always go to plan, and neither do relationships. This is a space for open conversations, shared experiences and saying the things most people avoid.
If you have a question or want to share your story, email us at [email protected]
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Episódios 158
Rosie On Surviving Breast Cancer At 35 With Two Young Children
At just 35 years old, with two young children and a daughter about to celebrate her first birthday, Rosie discovered a lump in her breast that would change her life forever. In this incredibly emotional …
Notas do episódio
At just 35 years old, with two young children and a daughter about to celebrate her first birthday, Rosie discovered a lump in her breast that would change her life forever. In this incredibly emotional episode, Rosie joins Tash and Carly to share her breast cancer journey, from receiving her diagnosis and undergoing 16 rounds of chemotherapy to losing her hair, having a double mastectomy and discovering she carried the BRCA1 gene mutation. She opens up about the heartbreaking reality of facing cancer as a young mum, the impact on her relationship, making life-changing decisions about her body and fertility, and the fear of her cancer returning that she still lives with today. We also discuss the importance of checking your breasts, recognising changes in your body and why being young and healthy doesn’t mean you’re immune. An honest, powerful conversation about motherhood, resilience and learning to appreciate life after everything changes.
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We Waited 23 Years To Get Married… He Cheated 3 Months Later
Imagine spending 23 years with someone, raising three children together and finally getting married… only to discover he’s been talking to another woman just THREE MONTHS after your wedding. One listener …
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Imagine spending 23 years with someone, raising three children together and finally getting married… only to discover he’s been talking to another woman just THREE MONTHS after your wedding. One listener thought she had the perfect life until she discovered weeks of phone calls between her 44-year-old husband and a 24-year-old woman. He insisted he was simply helping her through a breakup, but when she started digging, the truth began to unravel. He’d saved her number under her son’s name, sent intimate messages and told her he loved her. Now, just seven months into their marriage, she’s questioning whether she’ll ever be able to trust him again.
We also hear from a woman who discovered her partner had been messaging sex workers while working away, only to later find he’d continued searching for them closer to home. After almost nine years together, a daughter and a mortgage, she feels financially trapped and terrified of breaking up her family. But things become even more complicated when the man she once considered the love of her life unexpectedly comes back into the picture. Is he a genuine second chance at happiness, or simply an escape from a relationship she no longer wants to be in?
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I Found Out My Husband Had A 16-Year-Old Son I Knew NOTHING About
Imagine receiving a letter and discovering your husband has a 16-year-old son you knew absolutely nothing about. One listener had spent years believing his version of how a previous relationship ended, only for …
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Imagine receiving a letter and discovering your husband has a 16-year-old son you knew absolutely nothing about. One listener had spent years believing his version of how a previous relationship ended, only for a child-support letter to reveal the truth. Now she’s trying to process the fact that her husband kept an entire child secret from her, while working out how they eventually tell their own 10 and 8-year-old children that they have an older brother. And the biggest question is: after a lie this big, how do you ever trust someone again?
We also hear from a gay listener who’s been secretly sleeping with his married straight male friend for the last year. What started as one drunken night has turned into monthly meet-ups with pre-booked hotel rooms, all while he’s friends with the man’s wife. He’s now developed feelings and wants to know whether his friend could actually want something more. Oh, and then he casually reveals he’s had sexual encounters with seven of his 18 straight male friends.
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I’m The Other Woman… And I’ve Fallen In Love With Him
One Bestie has a confession she never thought she’d be making: she’s the other woman. What started with a work colleague who has a long-term partner and two children has turned into a year-long affair, and now …
Notas do episódio
One Bestie has a confession she never thought she’d be making: she’s the other woman. What started with a work colleague who has a long-term partner and two children has turned into a year-long affair, and now they’ve both admitted they have feelings for each other. She knows what they’re doing is wrong and desperately wants to end it, but there’s one major problem: she still has to see him at work. So how do you walk away from someone you’ve fallen for when you can’t completely remove them from your life?
Then, for the first time, we hear the other side from a male listener who fell deeply in love during an affair with an engaged woman. He spent almost two years waiting for her to leave her relationship, planned to move his life closer to her and believed they’d eventually be together. When she finally became single, he thought their chance had arrived… until she went on holiday, told him she needed to be alone and then revealed she’d met somebody else.
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Carly Got A Nose Job… And She’s Finally Revealing Everything
Carly is back with a new nose! After years of feeling insecure about it, she finally flew to Turkey alone for the nose job she’d wanted for years. She opens up about why she decided to do it, the panic that hit …
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Carly is back with a new nose! After years of feeling insecure about it, she finally flew to Turkey alone for the nose job she’d wanted for years. She opens up about why she decided to do it, the panic that hit before surgery, the mental battle during recovery and what it was really like seeing her new face for the first time. We also get very honest about the financial reality of becoming a single parent, the pressure of trying to keep up a lifestyle that was originally built on two incomes, and why single mums can so often feel forgotten.
Plus, one Bestie shares the story of spending 15 years believing her husband simply wasn’t that interested in sex... until women’s underwear, Viagra, a gimp mask, a chastity belt, Telegram and a trip to a sexual massage parlour eventually revealed a secret life she knew nothing about... and just weeks before they were due to start IVF, one final discovery ended their marriage for good.
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I’d Just Given Birth When I Found THESE Messages On His Phone
Three weeks after giving birth, one Bestie woke in the middle of the night panicking that she’d missed an alarm to feed her newborn. She couldn’t find her own phone, so she picked up her husband’s to check the …
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Three weeks after giving birth, one Bestie woke in the middle of the night panicking that she’d missed an alarm to feed her newborn. She couldn’t find her own phone, so she picked up her husband’s to check the time… and messages from another woman appeared on the screen. She was still bleeding, wearing a postpartum nappy and caring for their two tiny children when she discovered her husband had been having an affair with a woman they both worked with, and it had been going on for months.
This week we also hear from a woman whose boyfriend kissed someone on a night out, came home and abruptly ended their relationship, only to then ask if he could move back into their flat while they sell it. We tackle whether a four-hour long-distance relationship can realistically work when both people have children and lives they can’t relocate, and hear from a cancer survivor trying to date again after her husband’s betrayal left her terrified of letting another man in. Plus, Carly has another dating update, we give one Bestie’s Bumble profile a brutally honest makeover, and hear a confession that might genuinely make you delete Instagram and leave the country.
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Carly’s Dating Update Just Took A VERY Weird Turn…
Carly thought she’d finally met someone who ticked all the boxes: great chemistry, great dates, hours spent talking on the phone and seemingly all the right things to say. Then she discovered he was sleeping …
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Carly thought she’d finally met someone who ticked all the boxes: great chemistry, great dates, hours spent talking on the phone and seemingly all the right things to say. Then she discovered he was sleeping with multiple women. But this week, the story takes an even stranger turn when she finds him back on Tinder… using a completely different name. Now she’s questioning whether she ever really knew who she was dating in the first place.
We also hear from a woman whose affair with her married boss spiralled into years of broken promises, pregnancy, heartbreak and her private life being exposed at work; a listener who discovered her ex’s new girlfriend through a Daily Mail article; and a wife questioning the man she married after years of secrets and betrayal. Plus, we talk dating apps, trusting your gut, finding love after divorce and whether you can ever truly know the person you marry.
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Young Parents, 3 Million Followers And Life Behind The Kern Family
Eight months into their relationship, Charlotte found out she was pregnant at just 20 years old. From becoming young parents and figuring out their relationship along the way, to building a life online with an …
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Eight months into their relationship, Charlotte found out she was pregnant at just 20 years old. From becoming young parents and figuring out their relationship along the way, to building a life online with an audience of over 3 million, this week we’re joined by Connor Kern and Charlotte Cucurnia from The Kern Family.
We get into the reality behind the family you see online; becoming parents before they were prepared, the pressures it put on their relationship, arguments and learning how to communicate, why relationship therapy came up, raising three children and balancing family life with millions of people following along. Connor and Charlotte also open up about dealing with opinions and trolling online, maintaining trust with huge social followings and why the version of a relationship you see on social media is never the full picture.
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I Gave My Cheating Husband A Second Chance… 10 Years Later I Regret It
She discovered her husband was having an affair, chose to forgive him and spent the next 10 years rebuilding their marriage… only to find herself right back where she started. This week, we hear from a woman …
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She discovered her husband was having an affair, chose to forgive him and spent the next 10 years rebuilding their marriage… only to find herself right back where she started. This week, we hear from a woman questioning whether she wasted a decade after discovering the red flags had returned — and the receipts she eventually found left very little to the imagination. Now single at 50, she’s trying to stop blaming herself for staying and work out what comes next.
We also hear from a mum trapped in an increasingly controlling relationship who is terrified of how her partner will react to even the smallest decisions, discuss the reality of single parenting and not being able to be everywhere at once, reveal the ridiculously specific things our partners do that give us the ick, and answer a grandmother struggling with an ex-son-in-law who she believes is turning her grandchildren against her. Plus, possibly the worst use of a dog at Sunday lunch we’ve ever heard.
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My Boyfriend Faked Cancer While My Mum Was Dying
Imagine watching your mum die from cancer while the man you trust tells you his cancer has come back too… only to discover he made the whole thing up.This week we hear from a listener whose boyfriend lied about …
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Imagine watching your mum die from cancer while the man you trust tells you his cancer has come back too… only to discover he made the whole thing up.
This week we hear from a listener whose boyfriend lied about having cancer while her mum was terminally ill, before she discovered he had been cheating all along. We also hear from a woman who spent years trying to save her marriage through debt, lies and affairs, only to uncover another year-long relationship and experience the reality of post-separation abuse after finally leaving.
Plus, we chat manifestation, dating red flags, what really gives us the ick, review another dating profile and share some very honest opinions along the way.
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I Married The Wrong Person… But It Led Me To The Love Of My Life
What if your biggest heartbreak is actually the beginning of your happiest chapter?This week, we share some of the most uplifting listener stories we’ve ever received. From a woman whose husband left her for …
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What if your biggest heartbreak is actually the beginning of your happiest chapter?
This week, we share some of the most uplifting listener stories we’ve ever received. From a woman whose husband left her for her friend before she unexpectedly found the love of her life, to a listener whose husband walked out just weeks after their wedding and during pregnancy, only for her to build the blended family she’d always dreamed of. We also hear from women who thought they’d never trust again, survived affairs, divorce and heartbreak, and discovered that life really can get better.
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Hollie Dowding: Surviving Domestic Violence... How I Finally Sent My Abuser To Prison
When Hollie Dowding finally walked away from her abusive relationship, she never imagined the journey that would follow.In this powerful and emotional conversation, Hollie shares how coercive control, trauma …
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When Hollie Dowding finally walked away from her abusive relationship, she never imagined the journey that would follow.
In this powerful and emotional conversation, Hollie shares how coercive control, trauma bonding and domestic abuse slowly took over her life, why leaving wasn't as simple as "just walking away", and how she found the strength to fight for justice, ultimately seeing her abuser sent to prison. She also opens up about the healing process, living with PTSD, and why she's now dedicated to helping other survivors through her podcast and House of H.E.R.
This is one of the most important conversations we've ever had. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, we hope Hollie's story reminds you that you're not alone and that help is available.
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My Husband Is The Perfect Dad… So Why Do I Think He’s Cheating?
A listener tells us about the growing feeling she can’t ignore… her husband seems like the perfect dad, but she’s convinced something isn’t right. Is she overthinking it, or are the signs pointing to something …
Notas do episódio
A listener tells us about the growing feeling she can’t ignore… her husband seems like the perfect dad, but she’s convinced something isn’t right. Is she overthinking it, or are the signs pointing to something more?
We unpack the story, share our honest advice, and discuss whether trust your instincts or give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Plus, we help a listener improve their dating profile, chat about modern dating, and answer more of your relationship dilemmas and listener stories.
If you’ve ever questioned your relationship, doubted your instincts, or wondered if you’re seeing red flags that everyone else is missing, this episode is for you.
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I Finally Left My Toxic Relationship… So Why Do I Miss Him?
You finally leave the relationship everyone told you was toxic… so why do you still miss it?This week, we unpack a listener’s confession about leaving a toxic partner only to find herself missing the chaos she …
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You finally leave the relationship everyone told you was toxic… so why do you still miss it?
This week, we unpack a listener’s confession about leaving a toxic partner only to find herself missing the chaos she fought so hard to escape. We discuss why healthy relationships can sometimes feel “boring,” the psychology behind toxic attraction, and whether it’s possible to break the cycle for good.
We also dive into another heartbreaking listener story about infidelity in the workplace, share our thoughts on modern dating, and catch up on everything that’s been happening in our own lives.
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Why So Many Boys Are Struggling Today & What Parents Can Do with Raising Boys 2 Men
Boys today are facing challenges that previous generations never had to navigate, but are we raising them in the right way?This week, we’re joined by Raising Boys 2 Men for an honest conversation about why so …
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Boys today are facing challenges that previous generations never had to navigate, but are we raising them in the right way?
This week, we’re joined by Raising Boys 2 Men for an honest conversation about why so many boys are struggling, the impact of modern parenting, social media, positive male role models, and what parents can do to raise confident, emotionally resilient young men. We also discuss the mistakes we see too often, the conversations families avoid, and why the way we support boys today will shape the men they become tomorrow.
Whether you’re raising sons, working with young people, or simply want to better understand the challenges boys face today, this is a conversation every parent should hear.
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My Best Friend Lied To Me For 10 Years…
What would you do if you found out your best friend had been lying to you for over a decade?In this episode, we unpack one listener’s shocking story, review another dating profile, help a man navigating …
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What would you do if you found out your best friend had been lying to you for over a decade?
In this episode, we unpack one listener’s shocking story, review another dating profile, help a man navigating struggles in his marriage, and talk about the common mistake people make by confusing emotional unavailability with chemistry.
If you’ve ever questioned your relationships or your dating choices, this one’s for you.
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He Faked Cancer While I Was Pregnant
She thought she’d finally found her happy ending.After blending their families and welcoming a new baby together, everything seemed perfect… until she discovered the man she loved had been living a shocking …
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She thought she’d finally found her happy ending.
After blending their families and welcoming a new baby together, everything seemed perfect… until she discovered the man she loved had been living a shocking double life.
This week, we read one of the most unbelievable stories we’ve ever received, hear from a listener trapped in a controlling relationship after 12 years together, and discuss why your gut instinct is often trying to protect you long before your mind catches up.
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He Ghosted Me For 5 Weeks… Then Came Back Like Nothing Happened
He disappeared without a word for five weeks… then came back expecting another chance.This week, Carly opens up about the emotional reality of co-parenting, we help a listener decide whether she’s holding on to …
Notas do episódio
He disappeared without a word for five weeks… then came back expecting another chance.
This week, Carly opens up about the emotional reality of co-parenting, we help a listener decide whether she’s holding on to someone’s potential instead of who they really are, hear from a woman who discovered her partner’s affair while she was eight months pregnant, and ask one very satisfying question… what happens when your cheating ex gets cheated on?
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My Husband’s Entire Life Was A Lie
A listener discovers that her husband’s entire life was a lie.After 14 years together, two children and what seemed like the perfect marriage, one tiny clue unravels everything.We also hear about a disastrous …
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A listener discovers that her husband’s entire life was a lie.
After 14 years together, two children and what seemed like the perfect marriage, one tiny clue unravels everything.
We also hear about a disastrous date involving a murder trial, review another Hinge profile, and help a listener decide whether to break no contact with the woman he can’t stop thinking about.
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He Didn’t Forget My Birthday, He Ignored It
Tash opens up about her kids being around her boyfriend, the Snapchat message that wasn’t meant to be sent, when a break can help your relationship and the breadcrumbs that keep you there for too longGet …
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Tash opens up about her kids being around her boyfriend, the Snapchat message that wasn’t meant to be sent, when a break can help your relationship and the breadcrumbs that keep you there for too long
Get tickets for our tour: https://www.aegpresents.co.uk/event/not-as-we-planned/
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He Left Me For a Man
Carly opens up about her grief, a story that will remind you that kids really do absorb the environment they are in and after 20 years together he left his wife for a man.Watch the podcast on YouTubeGet a …
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Carly opens up about her grief, a story that will remind you that kids really do absorb the environment they are in and after 20 years together he left his wife for a man.
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Omg That’s NEW Information…I’m Terrified!!
You share the sluttiest things you’ve ever done, we give feedback on the first Hinge profile you’ve sent in, the separation after 20 years and the long-term emotional affair found out on Snapchat!Get tickets …
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You share the sluttiest things you’ve ever done, we give feedback on the first Hinge profile you’ve sent in, the separation after 20 years and the long-term emotional affair found out on Snapchat!
Get tickets for our tour: https://www.aegpresents.co.uk/event/not-as-we-planned/
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I'm Always The One That's Left
We hear about a relationship where HE never wants to have sex, how drugs and alchohol ruined a relationship and wondering why you're always the one who's dumped.Watch the podcast on YouTubeGet a weekly BONUS …
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We hear about a relationship where HE never wants to have sex, how drugs and alchohol ruined a relationship and wondering why you're always the one who's dumped.
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I Trusted Him 100% Until I Checked His Phone
We discuss our most toxic traits in a relationship, when you get warned about your partner on your wedding day and when we discuss that two happy homes is better than one unhappy home!Watch the podcast on …
Notas do episódio
We discuss our most toxic traits in a relationship, when you get warned about your partner on your wedding day and when we discuss that two happy homes is better than one unhappy home!
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How Many Red Flags Did I Ignore?
We discuss your pettiest reasons you stopped seeing someone, we hear about the suspicions of someone who thinks her partner may be sleeping with her former best friend and ignoring TOO many red flags.Watch the …
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We discuss your pettiest reasons you stopped seeing someone, we hear about the suspicions of someone who thinks her partner may be sleeping with her former best friend and ignoring TOO many red flags.
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I Was Ghosted 5 Years Into Our Relationship | Not As We Planned Podcast
We go down memory lane with all our previous relationships, you share the BRUTAL ways you were dumped, changing the way we date with the 3 men dating approach and when your partner decides he no longer wants a …
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We go down memory lane with all our previous relationships, you share the BRUTAL ways you were dumped, changing the way we date with the 3 men dating approach and when your partner decides he no longer wants a baby… but you’re now pregnant
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I Found Out He's Been In Prison | Not As We Planned Podcast
This week, we discuss feeling like you have hit rock bottom, we have a look at the calibre of the dating pool and hear a story about a man whose little lies were just the tip of the iceberg.Watch the podcast on …
Notas do episódio
This week, we discuss feeling like you have hit rock bottom, we have a look at the calibre of the dating pool and hear a story about a man whose little lies were just the tip of the iceberg.
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Turning Pain Into Power | Not As We Planned Podcast
When you think you need the concrete evidence but what you know is enough, when the man you thought was perfect turned out to be your biggest lesson, and questioning whether to continue the relationship or end …
Notas do episódio
When you think you need the concrete evidence but what you know is enough, when the man you thought was perfect turned out to be your biggest lesson, and questioning whether to continue the relationship or end it before you commit for life.
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I Can't Stop Comparing Myself to His Ex | Not As We Planned Podcast
This episode discusses worrying about your boyfriend’s ex moving back into town, feeling on edge around a suspicious colleague who's just disappeared into thin air, and dealing with fears about your partner’s …
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This episode discusses worrying about your boyfriend’s ex moving back into town, feeling on edge around a suspicious colleague who's just disappeared into thin air, and dealing with fears about your partner’s connection with his children’s mum. We also hear a powerful story of a woman who’s been through hell and come out stronger.
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My Ex is my Guilty Pleasure | Not As We Planned Podcast
Tash shares her news which is life changing, when you have an affair with your ex and you’re not sure what to do, when going no contact is the only way, and when your boyfriend has been hiding a whole other …
Notas do episódio
Tash shares her news which is life changing, when you have an affair with your ex and you’re not sure what to do, when going no contact is the only way, and when your boyfriend has been hiding a whole other life for over 2 years!
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