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The Offensive

The Offensive

Episódio 1Episode 133 - The Fairytale of New York13 de dezembro de 2021 · 20 min
Episódios
193
Formato
Série – ouça desde o começo
Último episódio
10 jul 2023

Sobre o podcast

An award-winning, critically acclaimed mockumentary podcast that follows fictional Premier League club Ashwood City FC.

'The Thick of it meets Fifa career mode - a must listen for football fans' - The Guardian

'Ultra-sharp satire' - GQ

This podcast is a serial, begin at Episode 1.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episódios 193

  1. Introducing... BOOM Season Two | Out now

    1 min

    The creators of The Offensive are back with Season Two of their groundbreaking audio drama, BOOM.The first two episodes are out now, with new episodes released every Monday. Search 'BOOM' in your podcast app …

    Notas do episódio

    The creators of The Offensive are back with Season Two of their groundbreaking audio drama, BOOM.


    The first two episodes are out now, with new episodes released every Monday. 


    Search 'BOOM' in your podcast app and subscribe. And if you want to get the whole series straightaway, for the first time ever you can purchase all six episodes ad-free for £6.99 with Acast+ here.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  2. Bonus: Episode 189 - Thanks for Listening

    43 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 37

    Behind the scenes for The Offensive finale.patreon.com/ashwoodcity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  3. Episode 188 - The Final Finale: Part 2

    41 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 36

    The fate of the club and its staff hang in the balance as 5 years of mismanagement and greed come home to roost.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn …

    Notas do episódio

    The fate of the club and its staff hang in the balance as 5 years of mismanagement and greed come home to roost.


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall


    John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

    Joel Emery as Dan Watson

    Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie


    Additional Voices:

    Natalie Green

    Joel Emery

    Adam Jarrell


    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell 


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell 


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery


    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  4. Episode 187 - The Final Finale: Part 1

    26 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 35

    Having been relegated from the Premier League, the season's proceedings come to a close. Including an outstanding Court of Appeal appearance for Sir Patrick Nolan and Ashwood City FC. Paul Waggott as Patrick …

    Notas do episódio

    Having been relegated from the Premier League, the season's proceedings come to a close. Including an outstanding Court of Appeal appearance for Sir Patrick Nolan and Ashwood City FC. 


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie


    Additional Voices:

    Harry Attwell

    Lauren Ingram

    Karim Kronfli

    George Still



    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell 


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell 


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  5. Episode 186 - Full Time

    36 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 34

    Matchday 38 and just 90 minutes of football remain in the 2022/23 Premier League season as Ashwood City throw everything at survival.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris …

    Notas do episódio

    Matchday 38 and just 90 minutes of football remain in the 2022/23 Premier League season as Ashwood City throw everything at survival.


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

    Joel Emery as Dan Watson


    As themselves:

    Peter Drury

    Gary Lineker

    Alan Shearer

    Micah Richards

    Jules Breach

    Kate Mason

    Danny Jamieson 



    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  6. Episode 185 - Everton v Ashwood City

    25 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 33

    It's Matchday 37 in the Premier League and we join Peter Reynolds and Billy Richards for Everton v Ashwood City at Goodison Park.Voices by: Joel EmeryEpisode written by: Joel EmeryExecutive Producer: Joel …

    Notas do episódio

    It's Matchday 37 in the Premier League and we join Peter Reynolds and Billy Richards for Everton v Ashwood City at Goodison Park.


    Voices by: Joel Emery


    Episode written by: Joel Emery


    Executive Producer: Joel Emery


    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  7. Episode 184 - Council Culture

    25 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 32

    Off the back of a 4-0 defeat to Manchester United, Ashwood City need a result on the pitch. Meanwhile, a decision by a local magistrate gives them a result off the pitch. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena …

    Notas do episódio

    Off the back of a 4-0 defeat to Manchester United, Ashwood City need a result on the pitch. Meanwhile, a decision by a local magistrate gives them a result off the pitch. 


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

    Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie


    Additional Voices:

    Joel Emery

    Thomas Mitchells

    Jemma Revell

    Lauren Hall

    Adam Jarrell

    Michael Lyons




    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  8. Episode 183 - Hove is where the Heart is

    24 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 31

    As the financial cuts deepen, Ashwood City are barely keeping the league form together at the most important stage of the season. Chief-Executive Jess Tate and Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan finally discuss the …

    Notas do episódio

    As the financial cuts deepen, Ashwood City are barely keeping the league form together at the most important stage of the season. Chief-Executive Jess Tate and Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan finally discuss the fallout from administration.


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie


    Additional Voices:

    Joel Emery



    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  9. Episode 182 - All The Manager's Men

    30 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 30

    In the grips of a brutal CVA, further cuts are made and this time the coaching staff are targeted. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall looks to offer a beleaguered Dan Watson all the help he can during a …

    Notas do episódio

    In the grips of a brutal CVA, further cuts are made and this time the coaching staff are targeted. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall looks to offer a beleaguered Dan Watson all the help he can during a wobble in form as Patrick Nolan continues to distance himself from the crisis.


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie

    Joel Emery as Dan Watson



    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Joel Emery


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  10. Episode 181 - Risen from the Zoom

    20 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 29

    Ashwood City travel to The Emirates Stadium on Easter Weekend. Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan informs Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh of his Zoom meeting with the local council. Meanwhile, Administrator …

    Notas do episódio

    Ashwood City travel to The Emirates Stadium on Easter Weekend. Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan informs Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh of his Zoom meeting with the local council. Meanwhile, Administrator Tom Beattie has completed his dreaded 'Black Folder'. 


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

    Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie

    Natalie Green as Elaine Wright

    Chirstopher Swift as Reuben Thomas



    Additional Voices:

    Adam Jarrell

    Joel Emery





    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  11. Episode 180 - Uncivil War

    24 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 28

    Ashwood City clash with the local council over who's to blame for the collapse of the iBET stand. Meanwhile, Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan makes a momentous call on the club's future. Paul Waggott as Patrick …

    Notas do episódio

    Ashwood City clash with the local council over who's to blame for the collapse of the iBET stand. Meanwhile, Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan makes a momentous call on the club's future. 


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie

    Darcey Ferguson as Leanne Potter

    Natalie Green as Elaine Wright



    Additional Voices:

    Adam Jarrell

    Joel Emery

    Vanessa Emery




    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  12. Episode 179 - The Stand Before Time

    22 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 27

    Ashwood City Football Club are hit by the news that the fabled iBET Stand has collapsed. The club hierarchy and local council clash over who's to blame. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess …

    Notas do episódio

    Ashwood City Football Club are hit by the news that the fabled iBET Stand has collapsed. The club hierarchy and local council clash over who's to blame. 


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    Joel Emery as Dan Watson



    Additional Voices:

    Thomas Mitchells

    Natalie Green

    Nalan Burgess




    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  13. Episode 178 - Stranger than Fantasy

    22 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 26

    As the football world reacts to the BBC's treatment of Gary Lineker, Ashwood City have a social media issue of their ownPaul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan …

    Notas do episódio

    As the football world reacts to the BBC's treatment of Gary Lineker, Ashwood City have a social media issue of their own


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    Joel Emery as Dan Watson

    Luke Stevenson as Gareth McAskill



    Additional Voices:

    Joel Emery

    Adam Jarrell




    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  14. Episode 177 - The Great Escape

    27 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 25

    Stuck in traffic after the second leg of The Champions Fixture against PSG; Ashwood City Chief Executive Jess Tate questions Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan about rumours surrounding the future of the football …

    Notas do episódio

    Stuck in traffic after the second leg of The Champions Fixture against PSG; Ashwood City Chief Executive Jess Tate questions Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan about rumours surrounding the future of the football club.


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan 

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall


    Additional Voices:

    Joel Emery

    Adam Jarrell


    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery


    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  15. Episode 176 - Blind Tate

    22 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 24

    Ashwood City Chief Executive Jess Tate spends her 'day off' visiting both her doctor and an old acquaintance, who may know more about the future of the club than Jess does.Helena Doughty as Jess TateAdam …

    Notas do episódio

    Ashwood City Chief Executive Jess Tate spends her 'day off' visiting both her doctor and an old acquaintance, who may know more about the future of the club than Jess does.


    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    Joel Emery as Dan Watson

    Lauren Ingram as Fiona Weed



    Additional Voices:

    Joel Emery

    Adam Jarrell




    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  16. Episode 175 - Nude Awakening

    21 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 23

    A day in the life of Ashwood City is interrupted by a protestor, who aims his fury at Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' …

    Notas do episódio

    A day in the life of Ashwood City is interrupted by a protestor, who aims his fury at Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan. 



    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall



    Additional Voices:

    Joel Emery

    Adam Jarrell




    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  17. Episode 174 - Live and Let Liverpool

    34 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 22

    Liverpool FC are in town as Ashwood CIty play their first home game since the catastrophic transfer window.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn …

    Notas do episódio

    Liverpool FC are in town as Ashwood CIty play their first home game since the catastrophic transfer window.



    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

    Joel Emery as Dan Watson


    Additional Voices:

    Joel Emery

    Adam Jarrell




    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  18. Episode 173 - London Calling

    24 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 21

    After a brutal transfer window, Sir Patrick Nolan heads to the City of London to seek new money from old friends. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanThomas Mitchells as Simon Napier-FoxAdam Jarrell as Chris …

    Notas do episódio

    After a brutal transfer window, Sir Patrick Nolan heads to the City of London to seek new money from old friends. 



    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Thomas Mitchells as Simon Napier-Fox

    Adam Jarrell as Chris Well


    Additional Voices:

    Joel Emery

    Nalan Burgess

    Jennifer Tierney




    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  19. Episode 172 - Deadline Day: Part 2

    25 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 20

    A seismic day in the history of Ashwood City Football Club has arrived as the severe financial crisis, internal disputes, player disharmony and firesale of key team members comes to a head on a tumultuous …

    Notas do episódio

    A seismic day in the history of Ashwood City Football Club has arrived as the severe financial crisis, internal disputes, player disharmony and firesale of key team members comes to a head on a tumultuous Deadline Day.


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    Joel Emery as Dan Watson

    John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

    Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas


    Additional voices by

    Darcey Ferguson



    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  20. Episode 171 - Deadline Day: Part 1

    28 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 19

    The departure of Brazilian striker Kevin brings about yet more protests at The Credit Master Stadium. Despite a decent run of form in the league, the Ashwood CIty hierarchy find themselves locked in the …

    Notas do episódio

    The departure of Brazilian striker Kevin brings about yet more protests at The Credit Master Stadium. Despite a decent run of form in the league, the Ashwood CIty hierarchy find themselves locked in the offices, for their own safety. 


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    Joel Emery as Dan Watson



    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  21. Episode 170 - Woody's Roundup

    22 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 18

    Ashwood City Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall goes back to his roots on a scouting mission to recruit an up-and-coming player for the January transfer window. All voices by Adam JarrellEpisode written …

    Notas do episódio

    Ashwood City Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall goes back to his roots on a scouting mission to recruit an up-and-coming player for the January transfer window. 



    All voices by Adam Jarrell



    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  22. Episode 169 - Mixing Business with Pleasure (Beach)

    22 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 17

    Ashwood City take on SkyBet Championship side Blackpool in the Third Round of the FA Cup. Before the game, Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall takes Club Chairman Patrick Nolan to Blackpool Pleasure Beach …

    Notas do episódio

    Ashwood City take on SkyBet Championship side Blackpool in the Third Round of the FA Cup. Before the game, Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall takes Club Chairman Patrick Nolan to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. 



    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    Joel Emery as Dan Watson



    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  23. Episode 168 - Super Trooper

    25 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 16

    A new year, and a new beginning for Ashwood City, as the second Dan Watson era gets underway with a visit from fellow Premier League strugglers Everton. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess …

    Notas do episódio

    A new year, and a new beginning for Ashwood City, as the second Dan Watson era gets underway with a visit from fellow Premier League strugglers Everton. 



    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    Joel Emery as Dan Watson

    Ant McGinley as David Hall 



    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  24. Episode 167 - The Christmas Special One V

    53 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 15

    Merry Christmas from all of us here at Ashwood City.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshChristopher Swift as Reuben Thomas …

    Notas do episódio

    Merry Christmas from all of us here at Ashwood City.



    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

    Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas 

    Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

    Ant McGinley as David Hall 

    Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom / Chris Well

    Jemma Moore as Danielle Broom 


    Additional Voices:

    Joel Emery

    Vanessa Emery



    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery 


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell 


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell 


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity 


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. 


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 


    Listener discretion is advised. 


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  25. Episode 166 - The Damned Re-United: Part 2

    30 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 14

    As the Premier League fixtures wrap up before the World Cup break, Ashwood City owner Patrick Nolan is still trying to secure the services of Mauricio Pochettino. Meanwhile, the players await their …

    Notas do episódio

    As the Premier League fixtures wrap up before the World Cup break, Ashwood City owner Patrick Nolan is still trying to secure the services of Mauricio Pochettino. Meanwhile, the players await their international call-ups, and the club bids farewell to Chief Player Liaison Officer, Theo Clinton.  


    The Offensive will return on Boxing Day 2022. For exclusive episodes between now and then – including a special World Cup bonus episode – subscribe to the Ashwood City Patreon for just $5 a month: www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity.


    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

    Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton

    Ant McGinley as David Hall 

    Esmonde Cole as Kyle Francis Clark


    Additional Voices:

    Darcey Ferguson

    Adam Jarrell

    Joel Emery



    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


    Listener discretion is advised.


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  26. Episode 165 - The Damned Re-United: Part 1

    22 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 13

    The World Cup break approaches and Ashwood City desperately needs a new manager to take the reins during the much needed downtime. Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh get to work with their array of scouting …

    Notas do episódio

    The World Cup break approaches and Ashwood City desperately needs a new manager to take the reins during the much needed downtime. Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh get to work with their array of scouting talent, Patrick however is distracted by an old acquaintance.




    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

    Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas




    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery 


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell 


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell 


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity 


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. 


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 


    Listener discretion is advised. 


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  27. Episode 164 - Smit Happens

    26 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 12

    Unfortunate news regarding Head Coach Eric Van Smit forces the club to make a decision. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAllon Sylvain as Eric Van …

    Notas do episódio

    Unfortunate news regarding Head Coach Eric Van Smit forces the club to make a decision. 




    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit

    Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber




    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery 


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell 


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell 


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity 


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. 


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 


    Listener discretion is advised. 


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  28. Episode 163 - Grand Pricks

    21 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 11

    Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan M.B.E and Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall fly to Austin, Texas, to enjoy the US F1 Grand Prix. But the situation surrounding Club Doctor Rachel Webber provides an …

    Notas do episódio

    Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan M.B.E and Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall fly to Austin, Texas, to enjoy the US F1 Grand Prix. But the situation surrounding Club Doctor Rachel Webber provides an unwanted distraction from the day's events for Patrick Nolan. 




    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    John Brannoch as Colin Walsh

    Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber




    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery 


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell 


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell 


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity 


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. 


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 


    Listener discretion is advised. 


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  29. Episode 162 - Universally Challenged

    21 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 10

    During a dull Premier League fixture away to Chelsea, Ashwood CIty Chairman Patrick Nolan is offered a role within His Majesty's Government that could potentially allow him to gain the respect he so desperately …

    Notas do episódio

    During a dull Premier League fixture away to Chelsea, Ashwood CIty Chairman Patrick Nolan is offered a role within His Majesty's Government that could potentially allow him to gain the respect he so desperately desires. 




    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    Joel Emery as Hugh Chambers




    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery 


    Edited by:

    Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell 


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell 


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity 


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. 


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 


    Listener discretion is advised. 


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  30. Episode 161 - Flaw and Order

    22 minTemporada 5 · Episódio 9

    Senior management at Ashwood City attend a pre-hearing for the legal clash with Arsenal Football Club, as the fallout from the final day of the 2021/22 season continues to engulf the club in financial and legal …

    Notas do episódio

    Senior management at Ashwood City attend a pre-hearing for the legal clash with Arsenal Football Club, as the fallout from the final day of the 2021/22 season continues to engulf the club in financial and legal turmoil...




    Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

    Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

    Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

    Karim Kronfli as Judge Gastrell

    Jennifer Tierney as Hannah Ingram

    Harry Attwell as Robert Granger



    Episode written by:

    Joel Emery 


    Edited by:

    Adam Jarrell 


    Directed by:

    Adam Jarrell 


    Executive Producer:

    Joel Emery



    With thanks to:

    The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

    www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity 


    WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. 


    This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 


    Listener discretion is advised. 


    The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aqui estão os 60 episódios mais recentes de 193. Os mais antigos estão no feed do podcast.

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