#35 | What Mums Wish We Knew
Show notes
We put two sets of questions to the community. One for dads, one for mums. The dads sent seven. The mums sent seventeen. And most of the mums' questions were about how to get their partner on board.
This one hits different. We talk about what happens when you refuse to accept your child's diagnosis. Why dads get left behind. Why mums end up carrying everything. And the moment you have to stop making it about you and start making it about your kid.
We also answer the question nobody wants to think about: what do you actually miss? Not the big stuff. The everyday things that every other parent takes for granted.
If you're a dad still sitting on the fence, this is the one.
Timestamps:0:00 — Marathon panic and stepping in human feces4:39 — Q&A starts: dads' questions5:06 — How did the diagnosis hit you?11:27 — Living in silence and burnout17:33 — Golden hope for adulthood19:25 — Low expectations and why we stop pushing our kids23:05 — Why mums do all the work29:01 — Should the UK adopt autism levels?32:12 — Guilt of calling home from work34:53 — Mums' questions begin35:02 — Why does mum do all the research?39:29 — The wake-up call for dads41:44 — How to support your partner after diagnosis46:42 — Processing trauma of being dismissed52:30 — Coping with isolation1:00:04 — The video that broke us1:02:14 — Advice for grandparents, friends, and family1:10:22 — Coping as a single mum1:14:03 — Keeping calm when professionals fail you1:19:22 — Why is it so hard to be heard?1:22:36 — Unawareness in the medical community1:25:35 — No support after diagnosis1:26:59 — Why aren't there enough specialist schools?1:32:22 — What do dads miss the most?1:36:24 — Supporting a partner as a stepparent1:40:39 — Helping your husband find his tribe