CLOSER with Rachel Lim
- Episodes
- 87
- Released
- every two weeks
- Latest episode
- Nov 4, 2026
About the podcast
CLOSER with Rachel Lim is about the conversations beneath the surface. Rachel sits down with people who fascinate her to explore not just what they’ve done, but what has shaped who they are: the experiences, relationships, contradictions, failures, beliefs and questions that have made them who they are today. Alongside long-form conversations are personal reflections from Rachel on what she is learning, unlearning and seeing differently in her own life. There may not always be a clear answer.. but perhaps the point is to come away seeing someone differently, seeing ourselves differently, and feeling a little closer. To ourselves. To each other. To what matters.
Episodes 87
Raising Conscious Humans: Raising Children Who Still Tell Us the Hard Things
With Hwee Keng Maedar
Our children will tell us things we don’t want to hear. What we do in that moment teaches them what to bring us next.In Episode 3 of Raising Conscious Humans, Hwee Keng Maeder and I talk about why “because I’m …
Show notes
Our children will tell us things we don’t want to hear. What we do in that moment teaches them what to bring us next.
In Episode 3 of Raising Conscious Humans, Hwee Keng Maeder and I talk about why “because I’m your parent!” isn’t the same as real authority, and what it looks like to hold the line without using fear.
In this episode:
• The day her youngest lost his MRT card, and why she didn’t bail him out
• How she separates a child’s feelings from their actions
• What she does when a teenage son’s friends worry her
• What her sons have said that stung, and what she took from it
• A moment she’s not proud of, and how she repaired it
• The moment after the Olympic bronze when she knew her son had grown up
Hwee Keng’s line I keep coming back to: “You want to be right or you want to be close. It’s your choice.” One day, Ollie and Keira will have something hard to tell me. I want to be the person they’re not afraid to tell.
Chapters
- 00:00:00 Introduction
- 00:01:00 What Does Authority Without Fear Look Like?
- 00:01:58 Allowing Children to Own the Consequences of Their Choices
- 00:06:25 Respect vs. Fear: What Are We Actually Building?
- 00:08:32 Guiding Their Choices Without Taking Away Their Agency
- 00:12:58 When We Get It Wrong: Accountability and Repair
- 00:19:15 How Reframing Changes the Way We Parent
- 00:21:39 Knowing When to Step Away Before Emotions Take Over
- 00:23:04 Teaching Children to Disagree Without Disrespect
- 00:28:46 The Hidden Cost of Fear in Parenting
- 00:32:38 Helping Children Build Their Own Moral Compass
- 00:35:51 “Mum, I’m Not Your Friend. I’m Your Son.”
- 00:40:43 Do You Want to Be Right or Do You Want to Be Close?
- 00:43:17 What It Means to Raise Children Who Are Fit for Life
Follow CLOSER on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/closerwithrach/
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
#62: Chloe Tong: Marriage First, Life Beyond Labels & Growing With Grab
With Chloe Tong
Chloe Tong opens up about the life behind the roles she is most known for: daughter, wife, mother of five, partner to Grab co-founder and CEO Anthony Tan, and now the work she is building through ACE Team …
Show notes
Chloe Tong opens up about the life behind the roles she is most known for: daughter, wife, mother of five, partner to Grab co-founder and CEO Anthony Tan, and now the work she is building through ACE Team Foundation.
In this conversation, she shares how losing her mother young shaped the way she thinks about love and family, what boarding school taught her about independence, and how growing up gave her the freedom to be both ambitious and maternal.
We go into the early days of her relationship with Anthony, why it began with deep respect before love, why she quit just two weeks after meeting him to build alongside him, the fights that shaped their marriage, and why they made the unconventional decision to put their marriage before their children.
We also talk about motherhood, privilege, service, identity, the pressure of building a family in public, and what it means to create a home that feels steady even when life outside is not. At the heart of the conversation is a question Chloe is still living into: how do you build a life deeply intertwined with others while still becoming more fully yourself?
Chapters- 00:00:00 Getting to Know Chloe Tong
- 00:01:24 Growing Up with the Courage to Speak Up
- 00:03:42 Learning to Hold Love and Regret Together
- 00:05:18 Carrying Forward Unconditional Love
- 00:06:33 Finding Her Voice Away from Home
- 00:07:52 Knowing When Not to Rescue Your Child
- 00:09:51 Learning to See Her Mother More Fully
- 00:11:33 Why Children Don’t Always Need Equal
- 00:14:03 Wanting Both: Ambition and Motherhood
- 00:17:50 Meeting Anthony: A Relationship Built on Honesty
- 00:24:18 Building a Marriage Around Shared Values
- 00:26:27 Learning to Disagree Without Losing Respect
- 00:28:17 Choosing to Stay Through the Hard Things
- 00:31:33 Beyond Titles: Making Space for Every Version of Herself
- 00:34:12 What It Takes to Hold Family and Work Together
- 00:36:17 Building a Home That Feels Like Peace
- 00:38:43 Why Their Marriage Comes Before Their Children
- 00:44:03 Finding Purpose Through ACE Team Foundation
- 00:55:05 Building a Family Culture That Works for You
- 00:56:01 Finding Perspective Through Faith and Family
- 00:57:15 Who Is Chloe Beyond Everything She Does?
- 00:58:04 Learning to Put Ego Aside
- 01:01:52 When Purpose Calls You Beyond Yourself
- 01:03:25 What Her Mother Would Say Today
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Chloe Tong here: https://www.instagram.com/chloetong/
Follow CLOSER here: https://www.instagram.com/closerwithrach/
Raising Conscious Humans: Raising Children With an Inner Compass
With Hwee Keng Maeder
When do children stop trusting themselves?They start out asking why about everything. They know what they like. They challenge us. They follow their curiosity without wondering whether they’re doing it “right” …
Show notes
When do children stop trusting themselves?
They start out asking why about everything. They know what they like. They challenge us. They follow their curiosity without wondering whether they’re doing it “right”. And then, somewhere along the way, many start looking outside themselves for the answers.
In the 2nd episode of Raising Conscious Humans, I sit down again with Hwee Keng Maeder, mother of three boys, including Singapore’s youngest Olympic medallist, Max Maeder, to talk about how we protect that inner compass instead of slowly overriding it. She tells me, “You can’t want to raise a curious child that doesn’t challenge you. Then it’s not a curious child.”
We talk about knowing when to step in and when not to rescue, including why she resisted bringing her youngest home from a summer camp in Greece even when he called every day asking to leave. We also talk about giving children real responsibility, letting them face consequences, and creating different “pockets” where they can build confidence and self-worth, so their whole identity doesn’t rest on our approval or how well they perform.
And I share a moment with Ollie that made me realise how easily our children’s struggles can start to feel like a reflection of us.
At the heart of it is one question:
How do we raise children who can trust themselves?
Chapters- 00:00:00 Introduction
- 00:02:00 Curious Child vs. Compliant Child
- 00:03:38 It’s Okay to Say, “Not Right Now”
- 00:04:49 Honouring the Child’s Agenda, Not Ours
- 00:08:52 How Good Intentions Can Kill Curiosity
- 00:11:47 Creating a Safe Space for Questions and Discernment
- 00:15:11 When to Sit With Discomfort Instead of Rescuing
- 00:19:11 “Is This for Them, or Is This for Me?”
- 00:23:21 When Our Child’s Struggle Feels Like Our Failure
- 00:27:45 Giving Children Space to Build Their Own Confidence
- 00:33:48 Letting Children Face Consequences
- 00:37:40 Raising Conscious Humans, Not Compliant Ones
- 00:39:01 The Mindset Shift That Changes How We Parent
Follow CLOSER on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/closerwithrach/
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
#61: Dr. Ramani: The Signs of a Narcissistic Relationship & How Not to Lose Yourself
With Dr Ramani Durvasula
The word narcissist gets thrown around a lot. But what does narcissism actually look like in a relationship, and what happens to us when we spend too long trying to manage someone else? In this episode of …
Show notes
The word narcissist gets thrown around a lot. But what does narcissism actually look like in a relationship, and what happens to us when we spend too long trying to manage someone else? In this episode of CLOSER, I sit down with clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Ramani Durvasula to unpack narcissism beyond the label: the subtle signs we often miss, why narcissistic people can be so charming to the outside world, and why the people closest to them can have a completely different experience.
We talk about what it feels like to walk on eggshells, to second-guess what you say, to give endlessly but feel unsupported in return, and how, over time, you can begin silencing parts of yourself just to keep the peace. Dr. Ramani also shares why we cannot change another person's narcissism, what healthy boundaries and realistic expectations can look like, and why compassion for someone else should not require abandoning yourself. We explore healing, self-blame, healthy ego, social media, and how we can raise children with a stronger sense of who they are.
One idea from this conversation stayed with me: more than one thing can be true at the same time. You can love someone and still be hurt by them. You can see the good in them and acknowledge that their behaviour may not change. And sometimes, healing begins with seeing the relationship for what it is, rather than continuing to believe that if we just love better, give more, or say the right thing, we can make it different.
Chapters- 00:00:00 Introduction
- 00:01:26 What Is Narcissism, Really?
- 00:03:57 Narcissism Is a Spectrum
- 00:06:12 How Dr. Ramani Recognised Narcissism in Her Own Life
- 00:08:42 What a Narcissistic Relationship Actually Feels Like
- 00:12:49 Is Social Media Fueling Narcissism?
- 00:15:16 How to Raise Children With a Strong Sense of Self
- 00:19:30 Can a Narcissist Actually Change?
- 00:21:26 How to Stop Blaming Yourself and Set Boundaries
- 00:24:36 The Biggest Myths About Narcissism
- 00:26:12 Healthy Ego vs. Narcissism
- 00:27:49 When Compassion Becomes Self-Abandonment
- 00:30:10 “It’s Not You”
- 00:32:04 Be Their Parent, Not Their Peer
- 00:35:53 What Dr. Ramani Wants You to Know About Narcissism
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/doctorramani?stkn=MWcxZXNwdng3YzZteA==
Follow Dr. Ramani Durvasula here:
https://doctor-ramani.com/Raising Conscious Humans: Raising the Child You Have, Not the Child You Want
With Hwee Keng Maeder
Hwee Keng said: “There is a personality in that small human being... you don’t know the settings. First, I think you need to find out the settings.”As parents, we spend so much energy shaping who we hope our …
Show notes
Hwee Keng said: “There is a personality in that small human being... you don’t know the settings. First, I think you need to find out the settings.”
As parents, we spend so much energy shaping who we hope our children will become, and perhaps not enough time discovering who they already are.
What struck me about Hwee Keng is how much of her parenting has been about unlearning her own expectations. She even caught herself once after feeling disappointed that Max didn’t win a competition, and realised some of that disappointment was about her own ego.
That hit me. Because maybe the work is not raising the child we imagined, but learning to really see the child in front of us.
In this episode, we talk about curiosity over performance, giving children real agency, the difference between “you’ve got this” and “we’ve got you,” responsibility, consequences, and what it means to raise children who are truly fit for life.
Follow CLOSER on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/closerwithrach/
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
#60: SG's Fastest Woman on What Success Never Taught Her
With Shanti Pereira
Before Shanti Pereira became Singapore's fastest woman, before she made history on some of the world's biggest stages, she was a ten-year-old girl who lost a few races in primary school and wanted to …
Show notes
Before Shanti Pereira became Singapore's fastest woman, before she made history on some of the world's biggest stages, she was a ten-year-old girl who lost a few races in primary school and wanted to quit.
That's where we begin. Not with the medals, but with the moments most people never see. Losing both her scholarships within the same week at 22 and sharing, "It really felt like rejection." Getting injured in an Olympic year after achieving her dream of qualifying for Paris on merit, and wondering if she'd even make it to the start line. The unglamorous discipline of showing up on the days she didn't feel like it at all.
What struck me most wasn't Shanti's list of achievements.. it was the way she spoke about identity. About learning not to tie her self-worth to success or failure. About protecting her peace. And about choosing, again and again, not to give up when things get hard.
At the end of every season, whether it's been a good one or a difficult one, she asks herself: "Did I show up?" I think that's a question all of us need from time to time.
I hope you'll enjoy this conversation with Shanti Pereira.
Chapters- 00:00:00 Meet Shanti Pereira: The Woman Behind Singapore’s Fastest Sprint
- 00:01:20 Growing Up in the Shadow of Track and Field
- 00:03:46 The Childhood Lesson That Changed Everything
- 00:05:27 Grounded Advice For Her Younger Self
- 00:06:54 Facing Rejection: Losing Two Scholarships in a Single Week
- 00:09:14 Defying Failure and Choosing Resilience
- 00:12:40 Managing Olympic Dreams Amidst Physical Injuries
- 00:18:09 Staying Grounded: Body Care, Aging, and Reconnecting With Her "Why"
- 00:20:23 Choosing Stillness Over Chaos at the Starting Line
- 00:25:12 Tuning Out Public Pressure to Protect Your Joy
- 00:27:56 How to Reset Your Mindset After a Bad Race
- 00:30:48 The Powerful Advice That Stayed With Her
- 00:31:33 Finding Her Identity Beyond Winning and Losing
- 00:34:23 The Unseen Work and Human Side of Elite Performance
- 00:36:17 Choosing Consistency and Building Unshakable Habits
- 00:37:36 Shanti Pereira’s Definition of a Champion
- 00:39:19 Inspiring the Next Generation of Athletes
- 00:40:13 Sacrificing Her 20s: Choosing a Different Path Without Regret
- 00:41:23 Entering a Milestone Decade and Looking Toward Her Next Era
- 00:43:35 Shanti Pereira’s Recovery Rituals and Wellness Staples
- 00:45:18 The Message She Hopes to Leave Behind
- 00:46:05 Staying True to Herself Beyond the Spotlight
- 00:46:41 Final Reflections
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Shanti Pereira here: https://www.instagram.com/vshantipereira/#59: What Success Never Prepared Me For with Ingck
With Chayadhorn Kitiyadisai
Most people know Ing as the founder of INGU - the skincare brand that sold out 30,000 units in three minutes with zero advertising. The trusted voice who built a community of millions by doing the one thing his …
Show notes
Most people know Ing as the founder of INGU - the skincare brand that sold out 30,000 units in three minutes with zero advertising. The trusted voice who built a community of millions by doing the one thing his industry often punishes: telling the truth.
But this conversation isn't really about skincare.. it's about what happens after you build something people believe in. The weight of carrying other people's trust. The loneliness of being misunderstood. The panic attacks that made him think he was dying. The goodbye video he filmed, edited, and still hasn't had the courage to post.
For the first time, Ing shares what was happening behind the scenes during one of the biggest seasons of his life, and how it changed the way he thinks about ambition, happiness and success itself. We also talk about the person who answered the phone from a surgery room when Ing thought he was going to die on the floor of a café, and why that relationship ultimately reshaped his definition of what really matters.
I left this conversation seeing success a little differently. I hope you do too.
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Ing here: https://www.instagram.com/ingck/
Follow Ingu Skin here: https://www.instagram.com/inguskin/
#58: What If Your Next Chapter Is Bigger Than You've Imagined?
With Bill Burnett
You don't need a crisis to enter a new chapter. Sometimes life is moving along just fine. And yet, you find yourself carrying questions you can't quite shake. This conversation feels especially meaningful to …
Show notes
You don't need a crisis to enter a new chapter. Sometimes life is moving along just fine. And yet, you find yourself carrying questions you can't quite shake.
This conversation feels especially meaningful to me. Three years ago, Bill Burnett helped shape one of the biggest chapters of my life. Today, I'm returning to his work because the questions I'm asking have changed, and I need that space again.
Together, we explore why so many of us feel there's "something more," why life was never meant to be a straight line, and how creating the time, space, and structure to think differently can help us navigate what's next with greater clarity, intention, and possibility.
If this conversation resonates with you, Bill and I will be hosting a special CLOSER experience in Singapore on 25th July. We'd love for you to join us as we explore what your next chapter could become.
Sing up for CLOSER x Bill Burnett here: https://tinyurl.com/5n7dkdrb
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Visit Bill Burnett’s website here: https://designingyour.life/
Read ‘Designing Your Life’ here: https://designingyour.life/books-designing-life-original-book/#57: What 'Kiasu' Culture Is Really Costing Us with Teo You Yenn
With Teo You Yenn
Most of us have been taught that the pressure Singaporean parents feel is a mindset problem. That we just need to relax. Stop being so kiasu. The data tells a completely different story.Associate Professor Teo …
Show notes
Most of us have been taught that the pressure Singaporean parents feel is a mindset problem. That we just need to relax. Stop being so kiasu. The data tells a completely different story.
Associate Professor Teo You Yenn spent three years interviewing 92 Singaporean parents across every class background for her new book Unease; and what she found will reframe how you see your own life. Not just parenting. The whole thing.
She makes the case that the exhaustion, the anxiety, the feeling that you're doing everything right and still something is off.. none of it is personal. It's structural. And until we understand that distinction, nothing changes.
We talked about:- Why "kiasu" is not a cultural trait; and what it actually is
- What it means that most parents describe their child as a problem to solve
- Why Singapore's falling birth rate isn't a fertility problem - it's a conditions-for-family-life problem
- The three quiet costs to our society that nobody is talking about
- What the opposite of unease actually is (it's not ease)
What stayed with me long after we stopped recording: the way we're living is shaping who we're becoming. As individuals, as parents, as a society. And we haven't stopped to ask if this is who we want to be.
Chapters- 00:00:00 Introduction
- 00:01:36 Meet You Yenn: Exposing the Contradiction of Singaporean Success
- 00:04:02 Defining “Unease”: The Quiet Struggle of Helplessness in Singapore
- 00:05:45 Why “Kiasu Mentality” is Too Simple an Excuse
- 00:07:33 How the System Conditions Singaporeans to Run the Race
- 00:10:48 The Painful Cost of Losing Agency
- 00:12:00 Returning to the Original Dream of Prosperity in Singapore
- 00:14:30 Seeing Our Children Through the Lens of Problems
- 00:16:49 Reevaluating Our Values Across Class Lines
- 00:20:48 The Unequal Weight of Motherhood
- 00:23:42 What Does a “Pro-Family” Society Look Like?
- 00:25:43 Singapore’s Low TFR: A Fertility Problem or a Family Life Problem?
- 00:28:01 Singapore’s Obsession with Finding “Top Talents”
- 00:32:29 Shifting the Narrow Definition of “Family” in Singapore
- 00:34:17 Writing for a Historian 50 Years from Now
- 00:36:10 Finding Hope in a Shared Public Resonance
- 00:39:15 Final Reflections
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow You Yenn’s updates here: https://www.instagram.com/ethosbooks/
Purchase ‘Unease: Life in Singapore Families’ here: https://www.ethosbooks.com.sg/products/unease-life-in-singapore-families
Write in to the team at [email protected]#56: Minister Indranee Rajah: What Does It Take to Want a Future in Singapore?
Singapore's total fertility rate has hit a historic low. But this conversation was never really about birth rates.It was about what modern life actually feels like for many Singaporeans today. The pressure. The …
Show notes
Singapore's total fertility rate has hit a historic low. But this conversation was never really about birth rates.
It was about what modern life actually feels like for many Singaporeans today. The pressure. The exhaustion. The invisible weight of always having to keep up. And the quiet calculation so many people are running; about whether building a family here is something they can imagine, afford, or want.
Minister Indranee Rajah leads Singapore's Marriage and Parenthood Reset. She is also single. And she has no children of her own.
In this conversation, we go beyond policy. We talk about:
- The invisible mental load women carry that no support system fully removes
- The pressure parents feel before a child is even born - and why it starts earlier than most people realise
- The women who have built lives they genuinely love - and aren't sure they want to give that up
- What the public reaction to the word "detour" was really saying
- What it means to lead this conversation as a single woman without children
- The family she lost - and why their absence shaped her understanding of family itself
- Whether modern Singaporean life still feels emotionally sustainable enough to build a family within
Chapters
- 00:00:00 Minister Indranee Rajah: The Minister Tasked With Singapore’s Future
- 00:02:50 Growing Up Between Two Cultures & Faiths
- 00:05:59 Her Mother's Greatest Gift
- 00:06:57 How Her Legal Mindset Shapes Singapore’s Toughest Conversation
- 00:10:21 Why Singaporeans Are Rejecting the Life Script — Not Family
- 00:14:36 The Overachievement Culture That Made Good Enough Feel Like Failure
- 00:17:14 The Growing Pressure of Raising Kids in Singapore
- 00:21:08 The Invisible Mental Load Women Carry
- 00:22:31 The Woman Who Hid Her Fertility Treatment From Her Boss
- 00:23:37 Addressing Singaporean Work Culture & Fertility Stigma
- 00:29:56 Why Singaporeans Are Choosing Their Quality of Life Over Parenthood
- 00:32:07 The “Detour” Comment That Sparked Debate
- 00:35:37 Leading Singapore’s Parenthood Conversation as a Single Woman
- 00:38:10 Why Baby Bonuses Don’t Apply to Unwed Mothers
- 00:41:43 Why She's Doing This — Even When Everyone Says It's Impossible
- 00:44:47 What Makes Her Believe Singapore Can Change
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Minister Indranee here: https://www.instagram.com/indraneerajah/
Download the FSS fertility workplace support guide here: https://fertilitysupport.sg/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/FSS-workplace-support-guide.pdf
Write in to the team at [email protected].
#55: The Fertility Convo That's Long Overdue ft. Margaret Wang
Most of us only start thinking about fertility when something suddenly feels urgent; a doctor’s appointment, a breakup, a birthday, or the quiet realisation that time may not feel as endless as we once thought …
Show notes
Most of us only start thinking about fertility when something suddenly feels urgent; a doctor’s appointment, a breakup, a birthday, or the quiet realisation that time may not feel as endless as we once thought. In this episode, I sit down with Margaret Wang, CEO of GenPrime and Rhea Fertility, for a deeply honest conversation about fertility, womanhood, pressure, timing, and learning to listen to our bodies before life forces us to.
Together, we talk about:
- why fertility shouldn’t just be a “women’s issue”
- the invisible emotional load many women quietly carry
- egg freezing, aging, and the pressure surrounding motherhood and timelines
- the questions many of us don’t even know to ask about our own bodies
- and why so many women still feel alone in this conversation
Margaret also opens up personally about navigating egg freezing, heartbreak, societal expectations, and the tension between building a career, building a company, and hoping to one day build a family. Whether fertility feels far away, deeply present, or painfully emotional for you right now, this conversation is an invitation to get curious, ask earlier questions, and feel a little less alone.
Chapters
- 00:00:00 Introduction
- 00:01:09 Get to Know Margaret Wang: The Woman Reshaping Fertility Care Across Asia
- 00:04:18 A Holistic Approach to Redefining Fertility Stigma
- 00:06:12 Egg Freezing: Progress, Freedom and the Gaps We Don’t Talk About
- 00:08:52 Why Fertility Conversations Still Feel Taboo
- 00:13:22 Nobody Taught Us How Fertility Actually Works
- 00:15:51 How to Ask the Right Questions About Fertility
- 00:19:01 Numerical Age vs Biological Age: Is It Too Late?
- 00:21:08 Debunking Fertility Myths and Misconceptions
- 00:23:20 The Personal Cost of Working in Fertility Care
- 00:25:53 Margaret Wang’s Message to the World
- 00:27:07 Final Reflections
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Connect with Margaret here: https://sg.linkedin.com/in/margaretmwang
Find out more about Rhea Fertility here: https://www.rheafertility.com/
Write in to the team at [email protected].
#54: Nathania Ong: First Singaporean to Lead the West End, And She Almost Gave Up
Nathania Ong is the first Singaporean to lead both Les Misérables and Hamilton on London’s West End.But before any of that, she was 18, alone in a foreign city, rejected by every drama school she applied to in …
Show notes
Nathania Ong is the first Singaporean to lead both Les Misérables and Hamilton on London’s West End.
But before any of that, she was 18, alone in a foreign city, rejected by every drama school she applied to in a single week.
This is a story about the years nobody sees.. the flight home after every door closes, and the quiet season where you have to decide: Do I keep going, or do I let this go?
In this conversation, Nathania opens up about:
- the rejections that almost broke her
- the stage fright she developed after going viral
- the best friend who talked her back from the edge
- and the philosophy that has carried her through every closed door since
“Sometimes it’s not no. Sometimes it’s not yet. And what is for you will not pass you by.”
Chapters
- 00:00:00 Introduction
- 00:01:29 Meet Nathania Ong: From Singapore to the West End
- 00:02:35 Growing Up in a House Full of Voices
- 00:07:11 The First Win That Changed Everything
- 00:10:00 Losing Singing — and Finding Herself Again
- 00:13:57 Five Rejections in One Week
- 00:18:00 “I Almost Gave Up”
- 00:19:47 The Second Chance She Almost Didn’t Take
- 00:25:55 Her Greatest Triumph Wasn’t Success
- 00:28:10 What Keeps You Going When Nothing Does
- 00:29:18 Why Rejection Feels So Personal
- 00:32:22 Becoming Éponine — And Redefining the Role
- 00:37:00 When Success Brings Fear
- 00:38:28 Stage Fright, Anxiety, and Finding Ground Again
- 00:41:04 Pre-Show Rituals & Becoming the Character
- 00:42:04 Creating Something Honest for Herself
- 00:43:33 What She’d Tell Her Younger Self
- 00:45:11 Advice for Anyone Chasing a Dream
- 00:45:38 Final Reflections
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Nathania Ong here: https://www.instagram.com/nattyong/
Write in to the team at [email protected].
#53: Diane von Furstenberg: How She Became the Woman She Wanted to Be
“I did not know what I wanted to do. But I knew the kind of woman I wanted to be.”Diane von Furstenberg’s mother survived Auschwitz at 29 kilos. Doctors said she would die in childbirth, that her child would …
Show notes
“I did not know what I wanted to do. But I knew the kind of woman I wanted to be.”
Diane von Furstenberg’s mother survived Auschwitz at 29 kilos. Doctors said she would die in childbirth, that her child would not be normal. The following December, Diane was born.
In this conversation, DVF takes us through the moments that shaped her: the principles her mother gave her that she never let go of, the little dress that became a flag of freedom, the empire she built, lost, and rebuilt, and the philosophy of life she has arrived at after 79 years.
We talk about:
- How to stay whole across love, ambition, and motherhood
- Why kindness is a currency that compounds
- What it means to own who you are; not perform it
- Aging as living, not losing
- The one relationship we cannot afford to lose
This is not a conversation about fashion.
It’s a conversation about what it means to be in charge of your own life.
Chapters
- 00:00:00 Introduction
- 00:01:24 Diane von Furstenberg: Born a “Torch of Freedom”
- 00:03:53 The Childhood That Shaped Everything
- 00:05:11 The Little Dress That Changed Her Life
- 00:06:14 Finding Her Door to Success in New York
- 00:08:20 Making 25,000 Dresses By 27
- 00:09:27 The Fall & Reinvention of DVF
- 00:11:03 Taking Back and Owning Her Legacy
- 00:12:12 Diane’s Most Important Advice to Women — Don’t Lose Yourself
- 00:14:02 Breaking the Fear of Aging in Women
- 00:14:56 Choosing 3 Words That Defines Her Year
- 00:16:11 Diane von Furstenberg’s Message to the World
- 00:17:13 Discovering The Power of Self & Kindness: Currency That Compounds
- 00:20:34 Embracing Her Winter Season in Life
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Diane von Furstenberg here: https://www.instagram.com/therealdvf/
Purchase ‘Own It: The Secret to Life’ by Diane von Furstenberg here: https://www.amazon.sg/Own-Secret-Diane-von-Furstenberg/dp/B0BGN66CK4
Write in to the team at [email protected].
#52: 450 People Depending on Her — Then She Lost Her Job
Jennifer Baile is the Vice President of Global Services & Solutions at HP; one of the world's most recognised technology companies. But what drew me to her wasn't the title or the résumé. It was the quiet …
Show notes
Jennifer Baile is the Vice President of Global Services & Solutions at HP; one of the world's most recognised technology companies. But what drew me to her wasn't the title or the résumé. It was the quiet steadiness underneath it all.
Four weeks after moving her entire life to Singapore, her role was eliminated. She had 450 people depending on her. And instead of panicking, she did something that changed the trajectory of everything that came after.
In this episode, Jennifer and I talk about:
- What it actually means to lead when certainty is unavailable and the data is incomplete
- Why she stopped trying to do it all — and what she outsourced instead
- The mindset that turned job loss into a better role
- How to ask for help without feeling like a failure
- What titles, status and success actually mean once you've had enough of them
- Raising four children to know they are enough in a world that constantly tells them otherwise
- The dinner table ritual she started when her girls were small - and why it changed everything
This is a conversation about the long game. About trading titles for purpose. About what age, experience and a few very good mentors can clarify in you over time. If you're navigating a hard season — professionally or personally — this one is for you.
Chapters
- 00:00:00 Introduction
- 00:01:12 Meet Jennifer Baile: A Leader with an Unlikely Career Path
- 00:02:25 Learning to Sit in the Storm
- 00:04:47 Unlocking the Courage to Ask for Help
- 00:06:10 How to Lead Without Certainty
- 00:11:58 What People Get Wrong About Leadership
- 00:14:18 How to Steward Strong Business Mentorships
- 00:18:04 Redefining Success After 30 Years in Business
- 00:19:38 Growing a Family Amid Heavy Responsibilities
- 00:23:02 Dealing with Mom Guilt and Not “Doing It All”
- 00:26:09 Raising Confident Daughters in a Social Media World
- 00:31:17 You’re Only as Happy as Your Unhappiest Child
- 00:32:50 Strengthening Your Marriage After Having Kids
- 00:34:52 The Message Jennifer Baile Hopes to Leave Behind
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Connect with Jennifer Baile here: https://sg.linkedin.com/in/jenbaile
Write in to the team at [email protected].
#51: Tan Kheng Hua: On Choosing Yourself Without Apology
Tan Kheng Hua is one of Singapore’s most beloved actors; known for Phua Chu Kang, Crazy Rich Asians, and three seasons of Kung Fu on The CW. She has spent a lifetime choosing herself, not selfishly, but …
Show notes
Tan Kheng Hua is one of Singapore’s most beloved actors; known for Phua Chu Kang, Crazy Rich Asians, and three seasons of Kung Fu on The CW. She has spent a lifetime choosing herself, not selfishly, but deliberately. And in doing so, she became a better mother, a better artist, and a more grounded human being.
She did not build a long and remarkable career by chasing what looked good or what felt safe. She built it by returning, again and again, to what felt true. To joy over ego. To interest over image. To a life she did not have to shrink in order to hold.
In this episode, Kheng Hua speaks with striking honesty about what it really takes to stay rooted in your craft, your relationships, and yourself.
We spoke about:- motherhood, and why she refused to let it shrink her life.
- the decision-making rule she has followed for decades that gave her her longevity.
- divorce, co-parenting, and how a friendship outlasted a marriage.
- the honesty cave: going inward, admitting the ugly feelings first, and choosing the next step from truth rather than fear.
- therapy, and why she believes gathering the tools to be better is not optional, but a responsibility to everyone who loves you.
This is a conversation about living from the inside out. About following joy over ego. About learning that being responsible and being happy are not opposites after all.Chapters
- 00:00:00 Introduction
- 00:01:34 The Childhood That Quietly Shaped Everything
- 00:06:50 What Her 25-Year-Old Self Would Never Have Predicted
- 00:10:32 Why She Treated Her Daughter Like a Person, Not a Project
- 00:16:12 "My Purpose Was Never Just For Her"
- 00:22:25 The Secret to Co-Parenting With Someone You Divorced After 27 Years
- 00:27:16 The 8am Class Nobody Wanted That Changed Her Life
- 00:35:12 The One Habit Behind 30 Years of Staying Power
- 00:36:29 Her Golden Rule for Choosing Every Project
- 00:40:13 11 Years, One Family, One Stage — Inside Phua Chu Kang
- 00:42:10 What Crazy Rich Asians Taught Her About Letting Go
- 00:48:22 The Honesty Cave — How She Faces Every Hard Moment
- 00:49:56 Why She'd Rather Call Her Therapist Than Her Best Friend
- 00:54:10 Be Better. Do Better. Live Guided By How You Want to Die.
- 00:56:54 What Kheng Hua Wants You to Know If You're Still Finding Your Way
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Kheng Hua here: https://www.instagram.com/khenghua/
Write in to the team at [email protected].
#50: What a Trial Lawyer Learned About Love, Arguments & Raising Kids
What does a trial lawyer — someone trained to win arguments — learn about love, emotional regulation, and parenting?In this episode, Jefferson Fisher shares the courtroom lessons that completely changed how he …
Show notes
What does a trial lawyer — someone trained to win arguments — learn about love, emotional regulation, and parenting?
In this episode, Jefferson Fisher shares the courtroom lessons that completely changed how he sees conflict, persuasion, and connection.
We explore:
- The hidden cost of winning arguments
- What people are really fighting for beneath the surface
- How to regulate yourself before you react
- The breathing technique Jefferson teaches his clients — and his kids
- The 3 steps to shifting someone’s perspective with empathy
- Why he lets his children argue — and what that builds in them
- How to model repair, humility, and recovery at home
- And why being a safe space matters more than being right
This conversation goes beyond communication tips. It’s about security, ego, humility, and choosing kindness.. especially when it’s hard.
If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation wishing you handled it differently, this episode will stay with you.
Chapters
- 00:00:00 Introduction
- 00:01:07 Meet Jefferson Fisher: From Trial Lawyer to Communication Coach
- 00:03:14 The Cost of Winning an Argument
- 00:04:44 A Technique That Turns Timidness Into Calm Confidence
- 00:08:02 Jefferson’s Biggest Lessons From the Courtroom
- 00:11:22 3 Steps to Changing Someone’s Mind
- 00:14:47 Thinking Like a Lawyer in Everyday Conversations
- 00:17:39 Parenting With Humility: Modelling Recovery
- 00:19:29 Becoming a Safe Space for Your Children
- 00:22:24 Why Jefferson Fisher Allows His Children to Argue
- 00:26:21 What People Are Really Fighting For Beneath Arguments
- 00:29:37 How to Stay Grounded When Triggered
- 00:36:03 The Message Jefferson Fisher Hopes to Leave Behind
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Jefferson Fisher here: https://www.instagram.com/jefferson_fisher/
Purchase ‘The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More’ here: https://singapore.kinokuniya.com/bw/9780241719886
Write in to the team at [email protected]
#49: Leo: "The Most Humbling Season Of My Life"
Over the past year, I’ve watched Leo move through what he describes as one of the most humbling seasons of his life.In this conversation, he reflects openly on what it has meant to start again, to build from …
Show notes
Over the past year, I’ve watched Leo move through what he describes as one of the most humbling seasons of his life.
In this conversation, he reflects openly on what it has meant to start again, to build from scratch, and to remain teachable after years of experience. He speaks honestly about doubt, ego, frustration, and the courage it takes to stay with the work when things feel uncertain.
What made this conversation especially meaningful for me was how deeply moved I was by his honesty.. watching him name his struggles, sit with discomfort, and keep choosing growth in real time.
This is a story of growth in progress; honest, unfinished, and grounded in real life.
Chapters- 00:00:00 A Year of Reflection with Leo
- 00:02:14 Fatherhood, Presence, and Breaking Old Patterns
- 00:06:21 Finding Joy Again Through Cooking and Showing Up Consistently
- 00:07:58 Starting Over at 52: Building Something New from Scratch
- 00:12:02 Marriage Under Pressure and Choosing to Stay
- 00:14:00 Learning to Stay Open During Hard Conversations
- 00:17:01 Letting Go of Ego and the Need for Control
- 00:20:58 Becoming More Open and Staying Teachable
- 00:28:24 When Self-Worth Is Shaken and Slowly Rebuilt
- 00:31:16 Closing Reflections
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Leo here: https://www.instagram.com/mr_agleooleo/
Discover ANON here: https://www.instagram.com/thehouseofanon/
Write in to the team at [email protected]
#48: First Episode of 2026: A Solo Reflection with Rachel Lim
As we step into 2026, I wanted to begin the year with space to reflect.This solo episode is a pause and a check-in. A chance to look back on the year that was and share what it was really like beneath the …
Show notes
As we step into 2026, I wanted to begin the year with space to reflect.
This solo episode is a pause and a check-in. A chance to look back on the year that was and share what it was really like beneath the surface.
2025 was a full year for me. Full in visible ways, and full in ways that were more internal and harder to articulate. From navigating change at home and work, to investing more deeply in my own voice and inner life, it was a year that asked me to slow down, pay closer attention, and meet challenges differently than I had before.
In this episode, I reflect on what I’m proud of, what stretched me, and how I’ve noticed myself shifting on the inside. I talk about learning to stay with uncertainty without rushing for clarity, how my relationship with confidence evolved, and why growth now feels less about fewer challenges, and more about a steadier inner response to them.
Thank you for being here, and for starting the year with me.
Chapters
- 00:00:00 A Check-In as We Step Into 2026
- 00:02:53 Moving Through a Full Year Without Losing Myself
- 00:06:08 Our Marriage, What This Season Asked of Us
- 00:07:32 Learning to Stay With Discomfort
- 00:08:41 The Part of 2025 That Challenged Me the Most
- 00:11:23 The Small Routines and Circles That Carried Me
- 00:13:46 What Misalignment Taught Me About Pain and Listening Earlier
- 00:16:26 The Word I’m Carrying Into This New Year
- 00:17:38 How I’m Thinking About the Podcast in 2026
- 00:18:50 A Few Closing Thoughts Before We Go
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
For the year you’re about to have, purchase your first ‘I Am Well’ journal here: https://www.iamwelljournal.com/shop-i-am-well-journal/p/edition-2026?
Write in to the team at [email protected].
#47: CLOSER with Steven Bartlett: Live in Singapore
Recorded live at CLOSER in Singapore, this was one of those rare sessions that reminded me of the heart behind CLOSER: to hold space for real, honest, soul-level conversations.In this conversation, Steven …
Show notes
Recorded live at CLOSER in Singapore, this was one of those rare sessions that reminded me of the heart behind CLOSER: to hold space for real, honest, soul-level conversations.
In this conversation, Steven Bartlett opens up about his journey. He shares how he grew up as an outsider, built one of Europe’s fastest-growing companies, chose to walk away at the peak, and learned to find a fuller life beyond achievement. We also speak about what he is building today, and the lessons he has learned about making good decisions, building trust, and steering clear of the traps that hold people back.
This episode is not the full conversation, but it offers a glimpse into some of the moments that moved us most. I hope something you hear in it stays with you, and maybe even shifts something in you, the way it did for me & so many others.
To everyone who joined us that afternoon at CLOSER, thank you for leaning in with so much openness and heart. And to those tuning in now, I hope this conversation touches you the way it did all of us in the room.
Take a breath, lean in, and come a little closer.
Chapters- 00:00:00 Introduction
- 00:01:31 The Childhood That Shaped Steven Bartlett
- 00:05:58 Delusion and Self Belief as Prerequisites for Success
- 00:09:28 Choosing Uncertainty Over Certain Misery
- 00:13:48 Becoming a Plan A Thinker
- 00:15:36 Stacking Skills to Increase Your Value
- 00:20:27 What Steven Looks For When Investing
- 00:25:48 Hiring and Why People Are Your Greatest Asset
- 00:31:36 Breaking Paper Walls and Asking Why
- 00:36:41 Nir Eyal on Overcoming Distraction
- 00:40:54 The 16 Chip Rule for Prioritizing Time
- 00:43:21 Working With Failure and Experimentation
- 00:50:23 Steven’s Most Valuable Mistake
- 00:53:05 Finding Your Version of a Well Lived Life
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Steven Bartlett here: https://www.instagram.com/steven/
#46: Infertility, Miscarriage & Quiet Grief
Infertility is more common than we think; and it doesn’t just mean struggling to get pregnant. It can also mean waiting for years. Losing a pregnancy. Trying, again and again, with no answers. It’s a kind of …
Show notes
Infertility is more common than we think; and it doesn’t just mean struggling to get pregnant. It can also mean waiting for years. Losing a pregnancy. Trying, again and again, with no answers. It’s a kind of grief that lives quietly in the background of so many lives…and often, no one talks about it.
In this heartfelt conversation, I sit with Shumin Lin; litigator at Drew & Napier and President of Fertility Support SG. She began IVF at 29 and experienced miscarriage before becoming a mother of two. She shares what it was like to navigate this path before anyone around her was talking about it, and how that pain led her to build a safe space for others.
This episode is for anyone who’s walked this road, or loves someone who has. Because this, too, is motherhood. And no one should have to walk it alone.
00:00 Introduction
01:31 Shumin’s Journey: Facing Infertility at 29
04:59 Redefining Infertility: What It Really Means
05:48 Understanding IVF and the Emotional Toll
07:58 Rachel’s Story: Confronting Secondary Infertility
09:03 The Unspoken Grief: Shumin’s Miscarriage Journey
17:00 The Partner’s Role in Navigating Loss
19:08 Letting Go of Control and Unlearning Stigmas
23:27 How to Support a Friend Walking Through Infertility
28:37 The Weight of Expectations and Societal Pressure on Women
32:16 The Heart Behind Fertility Support Singapore
38:15 Launching Singapore’s First Workplace Fertility Guide
43:43 A Message to Her Younger Self: Hold On
46:00 Final Reflections
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Fertility Support Singapore here:
https://www.instagram.com/fertilitysupport.sg/
Find out more about Fertility Support Singapore here: https://fertilitysupport.sg/
#45: Rebecca Lim: Lessons From Heartbreak, Motherhood & Fame
In one of her most open conversations yet, award-winning actress Rebecca Lim reflects on the lessons she’s learned from heartbreak, motherhood, and life in the public eye. From childhood dreams and early …
Show notes
In one of her most open conversations yet, award-winning actress Rebecca Lim reflects on the lessons she’s learned from heartbreak, motherhood, and life in the public eye. From childhood dreams and early imposter syndrome to the role that changed everything, Rebecca shares the sacrifices, self-doubt, and resilience it’s taken to sustain a career under constant scrutiny. She opens up about friendship changes, public criticism, and the private grief of losing her father, and how each chapter shaped the woman she is today. We also explore motherhood’s transformative impact, the realities of ‘mom guilt,’ and her evolving definitions of beauty, success, and boundaries. This is Rebecca Lim as you’ve never heard her before; honest, deeply human, and full of wisdom for anyone learning to let go, start again, and find peace. ——— 00:00 Introduction 01:17 Rapid Fire with Rebecca Lim 05:24 Meet Rebecca: Childhood, School Days & First Acting Dreams 09:39 Battling Imposter Syndrome in the Early Years 14:43 Facing Negativity, Criticism & Self-Doubt 15:53 The Quiet Sacrifices Behind the Success 16:52 The Career-Changing Role That Defined Her 19:31 If She Could Go Back: Advice to Her Younger Self 20:40 Running on Empty: Motherhood’s First Impact 23:44 Rediscovering Herself After Becoming a Mother 26:50 Weathering Public Scrutiny & Staying True 29:16 Choosing Silence & Protecting Her Peace 33:04 Navigating Friendship Changes & Building Healthy Boundaries 35:57 Losing Her Father: A Silent Grief 42:24 Her Hardest Role Yet: Motherhood 49:14 Post-Maternity Comeback to Acting 52:04 Managing ‘Mom Guilt’ After Returning to Work 55:58 Redefining Success on Her Own Terms 57:56 Rethinking Beauty Standards in Entertainment 01:01:21 To My Younger Self: You Don’t Have to Be a Shooting Star 01:02:39 The Non-Negotiable Boundaries She Lives By 01:03:43 Learning from Past Mistakes 01:05:14 Final Reflections & Takeaways Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/ Follow Rebecca here: https://www.instagram.com/limrebecca/#44: President of Microsoft Asia: Lessons from My Mum, Asia & Leading 30,000 People
In this soulful and wide-ranging conversation, Rodrigo Kede Lima, President of Microsoft Asia, reflects on the people, places, and pivotal lessons that have shaped who he is today. From the quiet strength of …
Show notes
In this soulful and wide-ranging conversation, Rodrigo Kede Lima, President of Microsoft Asia, reflects on the people, places, and pivotal lessons that have shaped who he is today. From the quiet strength of his trailblazing mother to the humbling experience of starting over in Asia, and the responsibility of leading 30,000 people across cultures, Rodrigo shares what it truly means to lead with purpose, humility, and heart.
We discuss:
- The values his mother and grandfather instilled in him
- What starting over in Asia taught him about leadership
- How he stays grounded while leading at scale
- His views on hierarchy, culture, and human-first systems
- What AI will demand of future leaders
- Unlearning, wellness, and the second mountain
- Why legacy is about leaving people better than you found them
00:00 Introduction
01:08 Meet Rodrigo: Childhood, Curiosity & Dreams of Medicine
05:14 The Legacy of His Mother and Grandfather
07:13 Core Beliefs That Shaped Rodrigo’s Leadership
10:00 Bold Career Moves & Embracing Discomfort
12:35 Starting Over in Asia: Humility, Curiosity & Reinvention
14:59 Wellness Routines That Keep Rodrigo Grounded
20:07 Leading 30,000 People: Culture, Connection & Systems
24:07 Asia’s Rise: From Manufacturing Hub to Innovation Powerhouse
26:44 The Values We Must Hold Onto in the AI Era
29:07 What Fatherhood Taught Rodrigo About Learning & Letting Go
32:49 Where to Begin: Practical Steps for Embracing AI
36:40 Beyond Boardrooms: Lessons from Parenting
39:40 Redefining Purpose: Rodrigo on Legacy, Joy & Giving Back
41:15 The Message Rodrigo Hopes to Leave Behind
42:27 Closing Reflections
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Rodrigo here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rodrigo-kede-lima-51941129/
#43: Adrian Ang: What I Built Almost Cost Me Who I Am
You may know him as “Xiao Ming”, the funny guy behind the shades, the face of SGAG. But in this conversation, I sat with Adrian Ang, the man behind the persona. Adrian and I go way back to our school days. And …
Show notes
You may know him as “Xiao Ming”, the funny guy behind the shades, the face of SGAG. But in this conversation, I sat with Adrian Ang, the man behind the persona. Adrian and I go way back to our school days. And over the past few years, we’ve reconnected, not over memes or milestones, but over the messy, honest work of untangling who we are from what we’ve built. In this episode, Adrian opens up about the cost of becoming someone the world applauds, and the quiet courage it took to start unbecoming what no longer served him. We talked about: – The moment his son asked him to take off the sunglasses – How he nearly lost himself trying to keep it all together – Drinking to escape, leading while empty, and hurting the people he loved most – And what it really means to heal — slowly, gently, from the inside out ——— 00:00 Introduction: The Man Behind the Persona 01:37 Adrian Today: Diving Beneath the Surface 04:54 Kampung Childhood & Free-Spirited Beginnings 06:50 Becoming “Xiao Ming”: The Internet Persona Is Born 09:20 When the Character Overshadows the Creator 11:22 The Cost of Compartmentalising Who We Are 16:17 Chasing Impact, Validation & Approval 22:37 What Success Really Cost Him 25:56 Breaking Point: The Spiral He Couldn’t Ignore 30:31 Shutting Down, Pushing Love Away 34:53 Reclaiming Himself, One Layer at a Time 38:58 The Practice of Healing & Rewiring 44:12 The Hardest Work: Sitting With Discomfort 48:54 Learning to Find Peace Within 51:29 Redefining Success, Impact & Enoughness 56:58 To My Younger Self: It’s Okay to Feel 01:02:58 If His Eyes Could Speak… 01:04:08 Closing Reflections: The Journey Back to Self Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/ Follow Adrian here: https://www.instagram.com/adrian.xiaoming/#42: Rolf Dobelli on Thinking Clearly in a Noisy World
Best known for The Art of Thinking Clearly, Rolf Dobelli has helped millions of readers sharpen their thinking and sidestep the traps that cloud our judgment. In his latest book The Not-To-Do List, he flips …
Show notes
Best known for The Art of Thinking Clearly, Rolf Dobelli has helped millions of readers sharpen their thinking and sidestep the traps that cloud our judgment. In his latest book The Not-To-Do List, he flips traditional self-help on its head; arguing that the key to a good life isn’t doing more, but doing less of what doesn’t serve us. In this candid conversation, Rolf shares practical ways to reclaim your attention and energy: how to stop overcommitting, why reliability matters more than talent, when to quit (and why it’s not a failure), and what he’s learned from consciously stepping away from the news cycle. This episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling stretched thin, trapped in a productivity loop, or simply ready to cut through the noise. ——— 00:00 Introduction 01:04 Rolf Dobelli’s Not-To-Do Habit: Overconfidence 02:44 Rolf’s Study on Cognitive Biases 05:14 The Sunk-Cost Fallacy’s Impact on Our Decisions 07:22 How to Avoid the Manipulation of Reciprocity 10:12 Rolf’s Inspiration Behind ‘The Not-To-Do List’ 12:44 Why Reliability Outweighs Brilliance 14:46 Knowing When to Quit or Persevere 18:33 Why To-Do-Lists Don’t Work 20:12 The Magic of Setting Low Expectations 23:54 Why Rolf Stopped Reading the News 27:25 Rolf Dobelli’s Mission to Sharpen the Quality of Our Thoughts 29:15 The Billboard Question: Rolf Dobelli’s Message 30:22 Episode Closing Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/ Stay up to date with Rolf Dobelli here: https://www.dobelli.com/en/ Purchase 'The Art of Thinking Clearly: Better Thinking, Better Decisions' online here: https://singapore.kinokuniya.com/bw/9781444759549 Purchase 'The Not to Do List: The Surprisingly Simple Art of Success' online here: https://singapore.kinokuniya.com/bw/9781805464228#41: From DBS Intern to CEO: Tan Su Shan on Redefining Leadership at the Top
Tan Su Shan’s story is more than a career trajectory; it’s a masterclass in resilience, reinvention, and redefining what it means to lead. In this special and intimate conversation during Love, Bonito's IWD …
Show notes
Tan Su Shan’s story is more than a career trajectory; it’s a masterclass in resilience, reinvention, and redefining what it means to lead. In this special and intimate conversation during Love, Bonito's IWD event, Su Shan, now the CEO of DBS, reflects on her journey from intern to the top of one of Asia’s most influential banks.
She opens up about the moments of self-doubt, the lessons learned from “demotions,” and how she learned to command a room without changing who she is. From cultivating clarity and conviction, to breaking through the “sticky floor” that holds many women back, Su Shan shares powerful truths about ambition, presence, and the price of leadership.
Whether you're a rising leader, a seasoned professional, or simply navigating what it means to take up space in your own life, this conversation is filled with wisdom, warmth, and actionable insight.
00:00 Introduction
00:38 From Intern to CEO: Su Shan’s Early Days at DBS
02:04 When a “Demotion” Becomes a Turning Point
07:16 Facing Self-Doubt and Leading Through Discomfort
08:57 Learning to Command the Room with Confidence
12:02 Grounding Leadership in Customer-Centricity
14:08 How “WRECKOON” Shaped Her Perspective as a Leader
15:41 The One Leadership Skill That Will Define the Next Decade
17:57 The Best Investments Su Shan Has Made in Life
19:28 Q&A: Building Clarity and Communicating with Impact
21:07 Q&A: Finding the Right Mentors and Sponsors
23:59 Q&A: What It Really Takes to Build Great Teams
26:15 Final Reflections: What Leadership Means Today
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Su Shan here: linkedin.com/in/tan-su-shan-50296732
#40: Inside the Adolescent Mind: Belonging, Identity & Emotional Survival
What’s really going on inside the minds and hearts of today’s teenagers?In this powerful and eye-opening episode, I sit down with Dr Cheryl Loh, one of Singapore’s leading adolescent psychiatrists and a mother …
Show notes
What’s really going on inside the minds and hearts of today’s teenagers?
In this powerful and eye-opening episode, I sit down with Dr Cheryl Loh, one of Singapore’s leading adolescent psychiatrists and a mother to two teens, to explore the inner emotional world of adolescence: a time of searching, shaping, and often silent struggle.
We unpack what teens are truly longing for, not just connection, but a deep sense of belonging, identity, and emotional safety. Dr Cheryl shares why so many adolescents turn to the digital world to cope, why shame is such a potent and often misunderstood force during these years, and how adults can begin to show up in ways that don’t just manage behaviour, but meet real emotional needs.
What makes this conversation truly special is that it doesn’t stop at insight. Dr Cheryl offers practical, actionable ways for parents, caregivers, and educators to reconnect, rebuild trust, and offer teens the safe, anchored presence they may not know how to ask for.
00:00 Introduction
01:28 Dr Cheryl Loh on Championing Adolescent Mental Health in Singapore
04:24 Why Teen Mental Health Deserves More Attention
10:13 Are Our Teens Simply Misunderstood?
14:37 Parent Guilt, Anxious Parenting & the Pressure to Get It Right
17:33 Teens vs the Internet: Navigating Influence, Shame & Identity
22:37 How to Stay Present in Your Teen’s Life — Without Pushing Them Away
27:16 Seeing the Good: Shifting from Fixing to Connecting
30:03 What Increases the Risk of Mental Health Struggles in Adolescents?
34:36 The Role Educators & Schools Play in Teen Emotional Safety
37:55 The Social Media Trap: Why Teens Seek Validation Online
39:42 Showing Up for Your Teen & Playing the Long Game
44:17 Netflix’s Adolescence: When Emotional Needs Go Unmet
46:45 Why Healthy Parent-Teen Relationships Matter More Than Ever
48:53 Helping Teens Build an Inner Compass in a Noisy World
50:52 The Power of Good-Enough Parenting
52:57 What Gives Dr Cheryl Hope About This Generation
54:40 The Billboard Question: “Say Hello to Your Kid Today”
56:07 Episode Closing
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
You can book an appointment with Dr. Cheryl Loh at Garden Grove Clinic. Find out more here: https://gardengroveclinic.sg/about-us/
#39: Don’t Just Lead — Communicate With Intention. Wes Kao Shows You How
In this powerful episode, Wes Kao; co-founder of Maven and pioneer of cohort-based learning, joins us to explore what separates good leaders from great ones, and why intentional communication is at the heart of …
Show notes
In this powerful episode, Wes Kao; co-founder of Maven and pioneer of cohort-based learning, joins us to explore what separates good leaders from great ones, and why intentional communication is at the heart of it all.
We dive into everything from how to sharpen your judgment and make faster, better decisions, to why concise communication isn't just efficient, it's essential. Wes unpacks her signature concept of “avoiding negative inception” and shows how certain well-meaning phrases can actually sabotage your message and plant doubt.
We also talk about how to turn worries into action, why owning your strengths is a quiet superpower, and what it looks like to challenge your own thoughts with intention. Wes shares her biggest leadership challenge to date, and how she learned to balance transparency with confidence, especially when leading through uncertainty.
If you're a leader, creator, or communicator of any kind, this conversation is packed with tactical wisdom that will shift how you speak, lead, and show up.
Topics we cover:
- The communication traps even smart leaders fall into
- What it means to “incept negative ideas” and how to avoid it
- Why saying less can help you lead more effectively
- The underrated power of self-awareness and reframing
- How to personalise your communication to truly connect
Tune in and learn how to lead not just with vision, but with voice.
00:00 Introduction
00:55 Wes Kao’s Passion for Education
02:08 Good vs Great Leadership: What Sets Them Apart?
04:12 How to Sharpen Your Judgement and Make Better Decisions
08:28 The Importance of Concise Communication
10:24 Stop Incepting Negative Ideas: How to Protect Your Message
14:41 Turning Your Worries Into Action
18:54 The Beauty of Owning Your Strengths
22:53 Saying ‘No’ to Unproductive Struggles
26:33 The Art of Challenging Your Own Thoughts
29:51 Wes Kao’s Biggest Leadership Challenge and Lessons Learned
31:59 Transparency vs. Confidence: Communication as Leaders
35:05 The Importance of Personalising Your Communication
36:25 Episode Closing
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Wes Kao here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/weskao
Subscribe to her newsletter here: https://newsletter.weskao.com/
#38: Supporting Leo Through Depression: The Role We Can Play As Partners
After Leo’s episode, I was deeply moved by the messages that poured in, not just about his story, but about the unspoken weight many of you are carrying in your own lives. So many asked: How do you support …
Show notes
After Leo’s episode, I was deeply moved by the messages that poured in, not just about his story, but about the unspoken weight many of you are carrying in your own lives. So many asked: How do you support someone you love when they’re struggling? How do you stay steady for them without losing yourself in the process?
In this intimate solo episode, I share my personal experience; what it looked like to walk beside Leo during one of his hardest seasons. Not from a place of having it all figured out, but through the lens of the lessons it taught me.
I open up about what helped, what didn’t, and the truths I had to learn the hard way; like not taking his withdrawal personally, listening to understand (not to fix), and continuing to show up with love, even when I felt emptied out.
If you’re in that space right now, quietly holding it all together, I hope this conversation reminds you:
You are not alone. And you are allowed to be strong and tired at the same time 💛
00:00 Introduction: Why This Episode Matters
01:38 Q&A: Navigating Turbulent Seasons in Relationships
02:15 The Subtle Signs: Spotting Early Symptoms of Depression
05:16 Creating a Safe Space for Vulnerability
09:25 How to Stay Resilient When There’s No Timeline
12:49 What Support Really Looks Like: Small Acts, Big Impact
16:29 My Own Breaking Point: Personal Struggles and Lessons
19:15 The Hardest Truths I Had to Learn
21:45 If I Could Speak to Her: A Heart-to-Heart With My Younger Self
26:45 Final Reflections & Closing
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Listen to Leo's story here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7cfdJMK348KROmJzLJzKgo?si=iT5YgN0xRG6ATPEHFTvHjQ
#37: Conscious Leadership with Joyce Chen: A Live Session with Entrepreneurs
Leadership is more than just strategy; it’s about self-awareness, emotional mastery, and the ability to lead from a place of integrity and presence. In this special live session, renowned leadership coach Joyce …
Show notes
Leadership is more than just strategy; it’s about self-awareness, emotional mastery, and the ability to lead from a place of integrity and presence. In this special live session, renowned leadership coach Joyce Chen joins a room full of entrepreneurs for a deep, unfiltered conversation on what it truly means to lead with consciousness.
This episode features four live coaching sessions, where Joyce guides participants through some of the most pressing leadership dilemmas:
🔹 How to hold yourself and your team accountable using the Teach the Class method.
🔹 Navigating burnout and knowing when to take a break; is it a whole-body yes or time to realign?
🔹 Leading by example; how to teach the Above-Below the Line framework through role modeling.
🔹 Overcoming overwhelm and uncertainty; learning to trust your instincts while staying open to growth.
Through raw, honest coaching and actionable insights, Joyce helps uncover the deeper patterns that shape how we lead and shows us how to shift into a more empowered, intentional way of showing up - both in business and in life.
00:00 Introduction
00:54 Understanding the ‘Above-Below the Line Framework’
03:42 Shifting from Contraction to Expansion
05:24 ‘Teaching The Class’ Method for Improved Accountability
12:00 ‘Whole Body Yes’ Framework: Navigating Burnout and Indecision
18:04 Role-modelling and Implementing Change as Leaders
20:41 The Importance of Joy and Celebrating Wins
24:55 Evaluating Progress from Above the Line / How to Know I’m Doing Things Right
26:46 Final Reflections and Key Takeaways
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Get connected with Joyce: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joyce-chen-coach/
#36: Gurmit Singh: The Untold Cost of Fame, Family & Finding Purpose
This conversation with Gurmit Singh moved me deeply. It’s not just about a career; it’s about the constant pull between ambition and presence, the delicate balance between success and self-worth, and the …
Show notes
This conversation with Gurmit Singh moved me deeply. It’s not just about a career; it’s about the constant pull between ambition and presence, the delicate balance between success and self-worth, and the courage it takes to step away and realign with what truly matters. Whether you’re in the thick of building your career, questioning your path, or seeking clarity in life’s transitions, this conversation will stay with you long after it ends. I can’t wait for you to hear it.
For over two decades, Gurmit Singh was a household name, bringing laughter to millions. But behind the scenes, he was giving everything; his time, his energy, and unknowingly, pieces of himself, to an industry that demanded more than it gave. Then, at the height of his fame, he made a decision few expected—he walked away. In this deeply personal conversation, Gurmit shares the story of why he left, the sacrifices he made along the way, and the hard-earned wisdom that reshaped his understanding of identity, purpose, and what it truly means to live a meaningful life.
00:00 Welcome & Introduction
01:47 Gurmit Singh: The Man Behind the Laughter
07:06 Fighting Inner Battles: Overcoming Inferiority Complex
10:45 The Legacy and Burden of Phua Chu Kang
13:31 Why Gurmit Walked Away from Fame for Family
17:22 The Power of Saying ‘No’: Guarding Time & Priorities
19:35 A Child’s Silent Plea: The Cost of a Father’s Absence
23:45 Parenting in a Changing World: Lessons & Challenges
26:40 Choosing Love Without Conditions: A Father’s Journey
30:03 Bridging Generational & Belief Gaps with Your Kids
35:27 A Near-Death Experience That Changed Everything
40:31 What Gurmit Would Tell His Younger Self Today
44:47 Beyond the Persona: Who Is Gurmit Singh, Really?
47:48 Final Reflections & Parting Wisdom
Follow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/
Follow Gurmit Singh here: https://www.instagram.com/gurmit.65/
These are the latest 40 of 87 episodes. You’ll find older episodes in the podcast’s feed.
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