Finding Your Authentic Self: Stop People-Pleasing & Close the Gap Between Who You Are and Who You “Should” Be (E)
Show notes
Feeling lost, stuck people-pleasing, or like you’re living the 'wrong' version of your life? In this encore episode, I break down what your authentic self really means, the psychology of self-conflict and self-discrepancy theory, and how living authentically boosts your self-esteem, confidence and resilience.
Too much choice can leave you paralysed, and the pressure to please family, friends and society can pull you far from who you really are. This episode gives you practical mindset tools and journal prompts to reconnect with your true self.
Top takeaways:
- What your authentic self is: knowing your values, morals and what you actually want, and why it keeps evolving
- The freedom test: a simple exercise that shows whether you’re living on your own terms
- Self-conflict vs self-inconsistency: why abandoning yourself to please others destroys fulfilment
- Self-discrepancy theory: your actual self, ideal self and “ought” self, and how the gap between them creates anxiety
- Real vs false responsibilities: how to stop carrying other people’s expectations
- The research: how authenticity is linked to resilience, trauma recovery, self-esteem and lower stress, anxiety and depression
- Your job is not your identity: why you don’t need to find your passion in your career
- Signs of an authentic person: no comparison, no competing for validation, and being able to laugh at mistakes
- Journal prompts: questions to audit where you’re people-pleasing, fitting in or being inconsistent
- Dealing with judgement: how to respond when people comment on the new you
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