Love and Abuse
- Episodes
- 196
- Released
- weekly
- Latest episode
- Nov 13, 2026
About the podcast
Helping you identify toxic communication, emotional abuse, manipulation, and other forms of difficult behavior in relationships. Love and Abuse offers the perspective of both the victim and the perpetrator. Full of tips and advice for your friendships, family, love life, and marriage. You'll learn about covert abusive communication that takes away your power. And you'll discover how to pinpoint the specific toxic behaviors, such as narcissistic abuse and verbal abuse, before you are dragged into a psychological game so deep you come out a shell of your former self. Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook, an assessment and healing guide to help you evaluate the emotionally abusive and manipulative patterns in your relationship. Get the guide that will tell you exactly what's happening in your relationship over at loveandabuse.com. https://loveandabuse.com/
Episodes 196
My partner is gaslighting my children
If your partner's manipulation is also targeting your kids, you can feel completely hopeless. As much as you want them to stop, sometimes it's an impossible task. In this episode, I give you some suggestions …
Show notes
If your partner's manipulation is also targeting your kids, you can feel completely hopeless. As much as you want them to stop, sometimes it's an impossible task. In this episode, I give you some suggestions for dealing with a very difficult situation.
Follow-up - Is emotional abuse justification for an emotional affair?
This is a follow-up episode for 192 - Is emotional abuse justification for an emotional affair? Take time to reflect on 10 self-assessment questions based on the key themes from that episode. Pause between each …
Show notes
This is a follow-up episode for 192 - Is emotional abuse justification for an emotional affair? Take time to reflect on 10 self-assessment questions based on the key themes from that episode. Pause between each question and be honest with yourself as you consider how these patterns show up in your life and relationships.Is emotional abuse justification for an emotional affair?
When an affair surfaces alongside claims of past emotional abuse, you have two separate crises on the table. That's exactly what happened to someone who shared this challenge with me. Is one justification for …
Show notes
When an affair surfaces alongside claims of past emotional abuse, you have two separate crises on the table. That's exactly what happened to someone who shared this challenge with me. Is one justification for the other? When you don't know whether to feel angry or ashamed, you might feel completely stuck instead.
Follow-up - You learned you're being emotionally abused. Now what?
This is a follow-up episode for 191: "You learned you're being emotionally abused. Now what?" Take time to reflect on 10 self-assessment questions based on the key themes from that episode. Pause between each …
Show notes
This is a follow-up episode for 191: "You learned you're being emotionally abused. Now what?" Take time to reflect on 10 self-assessment questions based on the key themes from that episode. Pause between each question and be honest with yourself as you consider how these patterns show up in your life and relationships.
You learned you're being emotionally abused... now what?
Should you come right out and say, "Hey, you're abusing me, and you need to stop"? Hmm, that might work for a very small percentage of people. But what if it's been going on for years? What if it has become …
Show notes
Should you come right out and say, "Hey, you're abusing me, and you need to stop"? Hmm, that might work for a very small percentage of people. But what if it's been going on for years? What if it has become normal in the relationship? Is there a way to approach an abusive person without things going sideways?
Follow-up - When anger is used to keep you compliant
This is a follow-up episode for episode 190 - When anger is used to keep you compliant. Take time to reflect on 10 self-assessment questions based on the key themes from that episode. Pause between each …
Show notes
This is a follow-up episode for episode 190 - When anger is used to keep you compliant. Take time to reflect on 10 self-assessment questions based on the key themes from that episode. Pause between each question and be honest with yourself as you consider how these patterns show up in your life and relationships
When anger is used to keep you compliant
Anger in an emotionally abusive relationship raises the emotional and physical stakes. The risks are higher, and often, so is the submission and compliance.
When they lie and lie and lie
Is one lie too many? Is honesty important in your relationship? Is it so important that if they lied once, you could forgive. If they lied twice, perhaps you could get past it. But what if they simply don't …
Show notes
Is one lie too many? Is honesty important in your relationship? Is it so important that if they lied once, you could forgive. If they lied twice, perhaps you could get past it. But what if they simply don't stop lying? What's after that?
The early warning signs and red flags that make up an emotionally abusive relationship
Are there early warning signs that signal the strong possibility of a relationship becoming abusive? Yes. Absolutely. And you should know them. There are many, unfortunately. Knowledge is power - and this …
Show notes
Are there early warning signs that signal the strong possibility of a relationship becoming abusive? Yes. Absolutely. And you should know them. There are many, unfortunately. Knowledge is power - and this episode is all about your power.
When there's zero reprieve and it's always bad
Every single thing you do is not only not good enough, but on top of that, you're insulted, belittled, put down, and shamed in front of others. There is absolutely no reprieve from some people. It's like they …
Show notes
Every single thing you do is not only not good enough, but on top of that, you're insulted, belittled, put down, and shamed in front of others. There is absolutely no reprieve from some people. It's like they don't even like you, let alone love you.
In the never-ending rut of hoping they change
When you're exposed to toxic behavior day after day, you get stuck in a rut with walls so high that you feel like you can never get out. Sometimes a slight shift in mindset allows you to find the first stepping …
Show notes
When you're exposed to toxic behavior day after day, you get stuck in a rut with walls so high that you feel like you can never get out. Sometimes a slight shift in mindset allows you to find the first stepping stone toward the top. It may take a while, but there is a path out of the in-the-rut thinking.
Can you get past more aggressive or physical abuse?
Physical abuse is the totality of all abuse in one package. It's violent and extremely damaging. And the victim of such aggressive behavior can literally be scarred for life. I hope you never experience …
Show notes
Physical abuse is the totality of all abuse in one package. It's violent and extremely damaging. And the victim of such aggressive behavior can literally be scarred for life. I hope you never experience anything like it. But if you have, this episode may be helpful to you.
Someone's obsession of you can be disastrous
It can feel amazing when someone focuses entirely on you, supporting you, helping you achieve whatever makes you happy... until it turns into a nightmare.
Isolating you from everything and everyone, leaving you a shell of your former self
Isolation is one of the more destructive forms of emotional abuse, yet many people don't realize it's happening. They simply notice they no longer feel happy or fulfilled. Understanding how isolation works …
Show notes
Isolation is one of the more destructive forms of emotional abuse, yet many people don't realize it's happening. They simply notice they no longer feel happy or fulfilled. Understanding how isolation works gives you the foundation to make decisions from a place of empowered knowledge instead of from a place someone else has put you in.
They call me names, put me down, tell me how pathetic I am - I guess I'm the problem.mp3
Are you the problem if nothing you do is ever right or good enough? Could they possibly be right about everything they're saying? If you believe this, please listen to this episode. It might just save you a lot …
Show notes
Are you the problem if nothing you do is ever right or good enough? Could they possibly be right about everything they're saying? If you believe this, please listen to this episode. It might just save you a lot of doubt and confusion.
It's me or them: When someone wants to control your relationship with others
When someone wants to control who you see by giving you an ultimatum between them and "me", you might have a hard choice to make. Or, maybe it's an easy choice, but it might be hard to get there from here.
Being called a bad parent if you want to leave the abusive relationship
You realize the relationship isn't going to work out and want to leave, but you're worried about being called a bad parent. Not only that, you are guaranteed to be called a bad parent by an abusive partner. Are …
Show notes
You realize the relationship isn't going to work out and want to leave, but you're worried about being called a bad parent. Not only that, you are guaranteed to be called a bad parent by an abusive partner. Are you stuck in this relationship forever?
I don't want to hurt the person who hurts me by leaving them
Your heart is big. And your kindness and compassion, though amazing qualities, can also keep you in situations that are unhealthy for you. When you're afraid you're going to hurt someone by leaving them …
Show notes
Your heart is big. And your kindness and compassion, though amazing qualities, can also keep you in situations that are unhealthy for you. When you're afraid you're going to hurt someone by leaving them, there's a bigger picture to keep in mind.
The feeling that you lost a big chunk of your life to the abusive person
It's hard enough to be in a difficult relationship, but when your boundaries are shot, your adrenals are through the roof, and lots of years have passed, you might be wondering if this entire relationship was a …
Show notes
It's hard enough to be in a difficult relationship, but when your boundaries are shot, your adrenals are through the roof, and lots of years have passed, you might be wondering if this entire relationship was a giant waste of time, thinking about all the things you could have or should have done instead.
Leaving an abusive person isn't easy and sometimes isn't over
It can be hard to be in an emotionally abusive relationship. The challenge is real! But what about leaving one? It might be just as hard or harder because of the unknown of what happens next.
The trauma bond keeps you lovesick and broken
A trauma bond is like being addicted to both the highs and lows, just waiting for your next fix. It's not impossible to break a trauma bond, but it can be hard as hell.
Can you still like someone who hurt you but not love them?
Can the victim of emotional abuse accept the former abuser as a friend after a lot of time has passed? I received this question from someone who used to be emotionally abusive, feels awful about it, but has …
Show notes
Can the victim of emotional abuse accept the former abuser as a friend after a lot of time has passed? I received this question from someone who used to be emotionally abusive, feels awful about it, but has been out of that relationship for years. Then she met up with her ex again, and things are different, but not in the way she expected.
Are your children being manipulated, too?
You're watching your child mirror a narcissistic parent and it feels like you're losing ground. Arguing with the lies they're being told feels pointless, but asking the right questions might just be what helps …
Show notes
You're watching your child mirror a narcissistic parent and it feels like you're losing ground. Arguing with the lies they're being told feels pointless, but asking the right questions might just be what helps you keep your connection to your children, helping them choose empathy over manipulation.
If you don't draw the line on how much is too much, you won't have a line
How much mistreatment is too much? When your boundaries are violated over and over again, there will be a point where you have none and the sky will be the limit on someone else's hurtful and controlling behaviors.
How does an abusive person become an abusive person?
There's got to be a reason someone becomes abusive, right? All abusers abused as children... is that it? Maybe it's a mental health issue. Maybe it's none, some, or all of the above. Or maybe it's something else.
Getting conned into taking an unhealed abuser back
They've changed! They've really seemed to change. They seem like a new person so you take them back. Then you find out they were just playing the long game. Emotionally abusive people can heal if they want to …
Show notes
They've changed! They've really seemed to change. They seem like a new person so you take them back. Then you find out they were just playing the long game. Emotionally abusive people can heal if they want to. Those who don't may just come back to fool you again.
Do mutually abusive relationships have a chance?
Sometimes both people in the relationship are hurtful, controlling and manipulative. When that's the case, it's going to take more than one person stopping the behaviors, and that presents a few challenges in itself.
The superiority complex of misogynists
A unique episode about the superiority complex that drives mysogny in abusive relationships, why abusive people target those they perceive as weaker, and how their insecurity fuels the need to control and dominate.
When you won't see an emotionally abusive person change
You can't fix what's unwilling to be fixed. And when someone would rather you and the relationship suffer and crumble than work on improving themselves, you might have only one choice left.
These are the latest 40 of 196 episodes. You’ll find older episodes in the podcast’s feed.
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