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Q&A: What do I do when my child says "no" to everything?

July 30, 2026 · 20 min

Show notes

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

  • Why children who are loving, sweet, and cooperative in many moments can still get stuck saying "no" to the smallest requests.

  • What your child's resistance may actually be communicating, and why it often has very little to do with the task itself.

  • A simple shift that can help break the cycle when every request seems to turn into a power struggle.

  • Why giving your child more opportunities for independence can actually make them more willing to cooperate when it really matters.

  • How to approach recurring battles, like tooth brushing, in a way that invites collaboration instead of more resistance.

  • The one conversation to have before trying another consequence, reward, or punishment.

  • Why sometimes the fastest way forward is to slow down and reset the relationship first.

If your child keeps saying "no" or seems to turn everyday routines into a battle of wills, this episode will help you understand what's really driving the behavior and give you practical strategies to build more cooperation without getting pulled into constant power struggles.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

Dr. Ross Greene and Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS)

💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.

👉 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child's mental health and your own.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode to help you understand parenting styles and the benefits of an authoritative approach with Dr. Emily Upshur

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to move out of power struggles and into cooperation with Jen Lumanlan

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using Collaborative Problem Solving to navigate power struggles, tantrums, and challenging behaviors with Dr. Stuart Ablon

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

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