Swingers

After 18 months of swinging, Ruth has a moment of recognition while watching Black Mirror. With support from friends and domestic abuse services, she secretly prepares to leave her marriage. Now, in her garden, Ruth reflects on freedom, fear and why she chose to tell her story.

If you are suffering distress or despair, details of help and support in the UK are available at bbc.co.uk/actionline.

Presenter: Catrin Nye Writers: Catrin Nye and Jamie Bartlett Exec Producer: Kavita Puri Series Producer: Ruth Mayer Commissioner: Bridget Curnow Sound Design: Ivor Manley Title Track: David Wrench Researchers: Emily Parsons and Liv Facey Production Management Assistant: Daisy Carol Production Manager: Mandy Osborne

All the WhatsApp Messages you hear are voiced by actors.

Ruth’s messages sometimes appear enthusiastic - but at other times she says she is scared, traumatised and wants to stop. Solicitor Rachel Horman-Brown explains why messages in controlling relationships cannot be read in isolation. Former chief prosecutor Nazir Afzal reflects on the challenges around issues of consent in the justice system.

If you are suffering distress or despair, details of help and support in the UK are available at bbc.co.uk/actionline.

Presenter: Catrin Nye Writers: Catrin Nye and Jamie Bartlett Exec Producer: Kavita Puri Series Producer: Ruth Mayer Commissioner: Bridget Curnow Sound Design: Ivor Manley Title Track: David Wrench Researchers: Emily Parsons and Liv Facey Production Management Assistant: Daisy Carol Production Manager: Mandy Osborne

All the WhatsApp Messages you hear are voiced by actors.

At a swingers club near Liverpool, Catrin sees a world that’s meant to be built around rules. Experienced swingers explain how the lifestyle can strengthen relationships - but also how pressure can creep in. In another development FOI data reveals hundreds of police reports mentioning the website Ruth and her husband used - FabSwingers.

If you are suffering distress or despair, details of help and support in the UK are available at bbc.co.uk/actionline.

Presenter: Catrin Nye Writers: Catrin Nye and Jamie Bartlett Exec Producer: Kavita Puri Series Producer: Ruth Mayer Commissioner: Bridget Curnow Sound Design: Ivor Manley Title Track: David Wrench Researchers: Emily Parsons and Liv Facey Production Management Assistant: Daisy Carol Production Manager: Mandy Osborne

All the WhatsApp Messages you hear are voiced by actors.

Warning: this episode contains mentions of suicide. If you are suffering distress or despair, details of help and support are available at bbc.co.uk/actionline.

Ruth describes how sex with strangers became a routine of laybys, car parks and fear. Friends describe the years leading up to Ruth joining FabSwingers. Catrin asks how a strong, outspoken woman came to do something she now says she never wanted.

Presenter: Catrin Nye Writers: Catrin Nye and Jamie Bartlett Exec Producer: Kavita Puri Series Producer: Ruth Mayer Commissioner: Bridget Curnow Sound Design: Ivor Manley Title Track: David Wrench Researchers: Emily Parsons and Liv Facey Production Management Assistant: Daisy Carol Production Manager: Mandy Osborne

All the WhatsApp Messages you hear are voiced by actors.

Catrin creates a FabSwingers account and is quickly inundated with messages from men. Professor Nicola Gavey explains why full consent is not always as simple as saying yes. And one male user describes encounters that left him questioning whether women on the site really wanted to be there.

If you are suffering distress or despair, details of help and support in the UK are available at bbc.co.uk/actionline.

Presenter: Catrin Nye Writers: Catrin Nye and Jamie Bartlett Exec Producer: Kavita Puri Series Producer: Ruth Mayer Commissioner: Bridget Curnow Sound Design: Ivor Manley Title Track: David Wrench Researchers: Emily Parsons and Liv Facey Production Management Assistant: Daisy Carol Production Manager: Mandy Osborne

All the WhatsApp Messages you hear are voiced by actors.

Catrin Nye meets Ruth, who says she was pressured into having sex with strangers through a swingers website more than 100 times. Ruth explains why she is using her full identity. Her story raises difficult questions about consent, shame and control inside a marriage.

If you are suffering distress or despair, details of help and support in the UK are available at bbc.co.uk/actionline.

Presenter: Catrin Nye Writers: Catrin Nye and Jamie Bartlett Exec Producer: Kavita Puri Series Producer: Ruth Mayer Commissioner: Bridget Curnow Sound Design: Ivor Manley Title Track: David Wrench Researchers: Emily Parsons and Liv Facey Production Management Assistant: Daisy Carol Production Manager: Mandy Osborne

All the WhatsApp Messages you hear are voiced by actors.

Swingers tells the story of Ruth - a woman who joined a Swinging website and ended up having degrading sex with strangers more than 100 times. Ruth thinks she is not alone, that there are women all over the UK like her and so she decided to tell her story, using her full identity, to investigative journalist Catrin Nye.

Ruth says that she never wanted to join the website - but did it to please her husband who had been slowly persuading her for more than a decade. She ended up having sex with strangers in lay-bys and filming it for her husband. She ended up pregnant by a stranger and giving oral sex to another man while bleeding from an abortion. In this podcast Catrin pieces together Ruth’s story and asks what it tells us about sexual consent, pressure in relationships, and the swinging community. She digs deep into the online world of Fab Swingers - the website Ruth and her husband used. Catrin discovers countless crimes across the UK linked to the website and speaks to a man who admits to having sex with women who he thinks were pushed into it. She considers the police response to Ruth, the law and whether Swinging can be a cover for abuse. This is a story told in full honesty. It’s the trickiest investigation of Catrin’s career, but one she also feels must be told.