340. Rethinks: Why the Conversations You Avoid Cost You the Most
Show notes
“Most things that we want in life are on the other side of a difficult conversation.”
You want a more successful career, a more fulfilling relationship, a more meaningful life? What if all that’s standing in your way — are the conversations that you’re avoiding? In this Rethinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Jenn Wynn, a professor at NYU Stern School of Business and previously the director of education at the Obama Foundation, joins Matt Abrahams to discuss how to build the “hard but worth-it skills” necessary for difficult communication. Whether it's asking for a raise, setting boundaries, or addressing conflict, Wynn’s insights show that the conversations you’re avoiding aren’t just holding you back — they’re keeping you from the life you really want.
Takeaways:
- Difficult conversations create opportunities for growth. Speaking up, setting boundaries, and addressing conflict can help us build stronger relationships and move closer to our goals.
- Confidence comes from communicating through discomfort. Developing the skills to navigate challenging discussions helps us overcome fear and approach difficult conversations with greater intention.
Activity:
- Have the hard conversation. Identify a conversation you've been avoiding and write down what you want to achieve and what's holding you back. Then, take one step toward having it, whether that's scheduling a time to talk or practicing your opening words.
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- (00:00) - Introduction
- (01:28) - Understanding Difficult Conversations
- (03:45) - Developing Emotional Intelligence
- (04:45) - Self-Awareness, Pause, Reframe
- (07:00) - Common Communication Barriers
- (10:04) - Listening for Understanding
- (13:11) - Feedback to Your Boss
- (17:04) - Reinforcing Good Behavior
- (20:04) - Using AI for Communication
- (21:31) - Lessons from the Obama Foundation
- (25:07) - Creating Psychological Safety
- (28:01) - The Final Three Questions
- (32:42) - Conclusion
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Chapters (13)
All episodes of Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques