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Who Am I Without Alcohol?

August 4, 2026 · 1 h 8 min

Show notes

⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode contains references to domestic violence and a mental health crisis.

Who am I without alcohol? Does that question sound eerily familiar? Steph and Nicole both find themselves grappling with that very idea and wondering what the answer will mean for them. Steph is 55, and alcohol has been by her side and has helped define her for most of her adult life.  Nicole looks to alcohol for the answers and to smooth the rough edges, and isn’t sure if she’s capable of being herself with a glass in her hand. Coaches Cole and Hayley help provide guidance and hope in this week’s episode.

Steph discusses:

Why "loss of identity" became the real subject of her coaching call, not just the drinking

The belief that she'd failed herself and her friends, and how that belief kept her stuck

Why chasing a "finished" identity by a deadline backfires

The threshold metaphor, and why stepping into the unknown feels safer than staying somewhere familiar but unwanted

Her plan to resign from teaching by May 1st, and what she's choosing to let go of first


Nicole discusses:

How alcohol became tangled with her identity before she ever turned 21

The seven-year relationship and the night that ended with her in a hospital for three days

November 5, 2025: the day she sat in her car and decided something had to change

Why grace and curiosity did more for her than willpower ever did

What she calls her "2D glasses" moment, and what she sees now that alcohol's gone

And more… 

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more.

Until next week, stay curious!

Cole Harvey is a certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning. Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/

Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/

Episode links:

More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/who-am-i-without-alcohol-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-929/Join The Path: nakedmindpath.com

Related episodes:

How To Uncouple Alcohol and Identity | Naked Life Story | EP 549 -https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-549-naked-life-story-andrew/Who Am I Without Wine?: Identity & Sophistication | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | E801 - https://thisnakedmind.com/creating-a-new-identity-after-quitting-drinking-alcohol-freedom-freedom-coaching-e801/Why Do I Feel Detached When I’m Not Drinking? | Reader’s Question | EP 122 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-122-reader-question-feel-detached-im-not-drinking/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff


This episode is sponsored by Quince, Hungryroot, and BetterHelp

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Hungryroot: Save 40% on your first order PLUS a free item at ⁠⁠⁠hungryroot.com/mind⁠⁠ CODE: mind

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