Yours, Mine, Ours: A Simple Framework for ADHD Relationships
Show notes
In this episode, Asher and Dusty introduce and unpack a practical coaching tool—“yours, mine, and ours”—designed to help people with ADHD (and their partners or coworkers) distinguish which parts of a conflict or problem they truly own, which belong to someone else, and where there’s real opportunity to collaborate. Asher explains how the model prevents the common ADHD pattern of blame-sponge behavior (automatically assuming fault), restores perspective, and helps people decide whether they can co-create a solution or need to make a different choice (for example, stepping away from a job with an immovable boss).
The hosts use real coaching examples—two business partners with different ADHD presentations and a client who left a job after recognizing her struggles were her boss’s responsibility—to show how the model shifts conversations from reactive guilt to clearer agency. Lastly, the hosts discuss how the framework helps in marital situations, especially when ADHD intersects with an anxious partner, by promoting healthier communication, individual pause-and-reframe strategies, and clearer requests for support.
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