Unf*ck Your Relationships
- Episodes
- 247
- Released
- weekly
- Latest episode
- May 31, 2026
About the podcast
Welcome to Unf*ck Your Relationships Podcast! I'm your host Michelle Panning - intimacy alchemist AKA your love, sex, and relationship bestie, trigger queen, and founder of my signature program The Connected Woman. I get it, you're done being left on read, getting ghosted and being caught up in a cycle of attracting emotionally unavailable men. Let's be real - you have NEEDS. You deserve it all, you deserve to feel worthy and confident. You deserve a fulfilling love life. For years I was going through the same experiences with men over and over again that left me feeling confused, anxious, and pissed off. I silenced myself in dating and relationships because I was terrified of being judged, rejected, and abandoned. I just wanted a meaningful relationship and thought I was doing all the right things. But none of it was working. I knew I couldn't continue to repeat the same cycle with different men. Something had to change. I decided in that moment that I was going to finally work on healing my own wounds and work on myself, so that I could experience a beautiful and fulfilling relationship. I decided to put myself first. And now, with this podcast, I want to share with you the exact internal work strategies that I did to get to a place of confidence, peace, and worthiness. You can kiss ALL of your worries and limiting beliefs around love goodbye. Are you ready? Grab your favorite glass of wine and let's get to work, because it is time to reclaim your self worth babe. For more information about the podcast, or other ways you can work with me, visit: www.michellepanning.com I would love to connect with you more on social media! You can find me at: IG: @michellepanning Website: michellepanning.com
Episodes 247
The End of an Era... (and a little life update)
WORK WITH MICHELLE FOR THE LAST AND FINAL TIME INSIDE THE CONNECTED WOMAN:Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN for the LAST AND FINAL LIVE round. A course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in …
Show notes
WORK WITH MICHELLE FOR THE LAST AND FINAL TIME INSIDE THE CONNECTED WOMAN:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN for the LAST AND FINAL LIVE round. A course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 246: I Ignored My Own Advice… and It Landed Me in Hospital
WORK WITH MICHELLE:Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable …
Show notes
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 245: You're Not In Love With Him. You're In Love With His Potential.
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m unpacking why so many women fall in love with potential instead of the person actually in front of them. You didn’t fall for who he was, you fell for who you …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m unpacking why so many women fall in love with potential instead of the person actually in front of them. You didn’t fall for who he was, you fell for who you believed he could become. And then you spent months or years trying to close the gap between the two, investing in the version of him you hoped would eventually show up.
We talk about the fixer pattern, why being drawn to emotionally unavailable men often comes from a deeper belief that love has to be earned, and how focusing on someone else’s potential keeps you from being fully seen and chosen as you are. If you’ve ever stayed in a relationship believing someone would eventually become the person you needed them to be, this episode will challenge that pattern and show you what it looks like to start choosing reality instead of possibility.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 244: You're Not Stuck. You're Loyal To The Wrong Version Of Yourself.
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m talking about the identity you have to grieve before you can actually have the relationship you say you want. So many self-aware women spend years healing …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m talking about the identity you have to grieve before you can actually have the relationship you say you want. So many self-aware women spend years healing, learning their patterns, and understanding their wounds… yet still find themselves repeating the same dynamics. What if the issue isn’t that you haven’t healed enough, but that part of you is still loyal to the old version of yourself?
We unpack how healing can sometimes become a way of staying stuck, why insight alone doesn’t create change, and the hidden loyalty many women have to the identity they built around their pain. If you’ve been doing the work for years but still feel caught in the same relationship patterns, this episode will challenge you to look at what you might still be holding onto and the version of yourself you may need to let go of to finally move forward.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 243: Why You're Still Single When You've Done All The Work
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I explain the difference between high standards and high walls and why so many self-aware women end up confusing the two. You’ve done the work, you know your worth …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I explain the difference between high standards and high walls and why so many self-aware women end up confusing the two. You’ve done the work, you know your worth and you refuse to settle. But if every potential relationship keeps ending the same way, or you find yourself screening men out before anything really begins, it might not be discernment. It might be protection.
We talk about how fear can disguise itself as standards, why some women quietly shift from anxious attachment into avoidant patterns after doing “the work,” and why calm, consistent men can feel boring when your nervous system is used to intensity. If this sounds familiar and you’ve been telling yourself you just haven’t met the right person yet, this conversation will challenge you in the best way.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 242: The Cost of Being The Girl Who Has It All Together - An Interview With Bia Zutis
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m joined by one of my clients, Bia Zutis to talk about the perfectionism-to-self-worth journey so many high-functioning women quietly find themselves on. From the …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m joined by one of my clients, Bia Zutis to talk about the perfectionism-to-self-worth journey so many high-functioning women quietly find themselves on. From the outside she looked successful, self-aware, and like she had everything handled. But underneath that? She was exhausted from performing, holding herself to impossible standards, and feeling like she had to love by being “better.”
We talk about the gap between how she appeared to be doing and how she actually felt, the perfectionism that was quietly driving her self-abandonment, and the moment she realised the way she’d been relating to herself was costing her more than she thought. She shares what started to shift during the work, the patterns she began to see clearly, and why she chose to keep going deeper through The Connected Woman, retreats, and now The Experience.
If you’re the woman who looks like she has it all together but secretly feels exhausted from trying to get everything “right,” this conversation will hit home.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 241: Why You Can’t Let Go (Even When It’s Hurting You)
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m unpacking trauma bonds, why smart, self-aware women stay in relationships that are hurting them, and why leaving can feel terrifying even when you know it’s …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m unpacking trauma bonds, why smart, self-aware women stay in relationships that are hurting them, and why leaving can feel terrifying even when you know it’s unhealthy. This isn’t about weakness or lack of awareness, it’s about nervous system conditioning and intermittent reinforcement keeping you hooked. We talk about why intensity gets mistaken for intimacy, how relief after pain becomes addictive, and why information alone doesn’t break trauma bonds, attachment does. I break down the difference between love and survival wiring, why self-blame keeps you stuck, and how to start detaching from the fantasy without shaming yourself or bypassing the grief. The real question isn’t “Do I feel bonded?”, it’s “Is this person actually safe for me?”. If you realise you’ve been trying harder in relationships that require you to abandon yourself, this episode is your permission slip to stop.WORK WITH MICHELLE:Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-womanSign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experienceCONNECT WITH MICHELLE:Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanningWebsite: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 240: Healthy vs Unhealthy Needs in a Relationship
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m breaking down the difference between healthy needs and unhealthy needs in love. Most couples aren’t fighting about the dishes or the sex or the late nights at …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m breaking down the difference between healthy needs and unhealthy needs in love. Most couples aren’t fighting about the dishes or the sex or the late nights at work, they’re fighting to feel respected, safe, valued, and prioritised. We’re talking about respect, emotional safety, consistency, accountability, affection, and repair and how those differ from control, reassurance-testing, avoidance, mind-reading, and over-functioning. Having needs doesn’t make you needy, it makes you human. But when you don’t understand your needs or you try to meet them through fear and control, intimacy starts to erode.If you listen and realise you’ve been fighting about symptoms instead of the real issue underneath, good. That’s not failure, that’s awareness. When you can separate healthy needs from anxious coping, you stop weaponising love and start building something secure.WORK WITH MICHELLE:Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-womanSign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experienceCONNECT WITH MICHELLE:Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanningWebsite: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 239: 11 Ways Low Self-Esteem Ruins Relationships
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m breaking down 11 ways low self-esteem quietly sabotages intimacy. It doesn’t just look like insecurity, it hides behind being chill, low-maintenance, and “the …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m breaking down 11 ways low self-esteem quietly sabotages intimacy. It doesn’t just look like insecurity, it hides behind being chill, low-maintenance, and “the bigger person.” If you’re smart, self-aware, and still stuck in the same patterns, this one will be a mirror.We’re talking about conflict avoidance, over-giving, suppressing needs, reassurance-seeking, jealousy, withdrawing, and staying too long in unhealthy dynamics. Low self-esteem doesn’t just affect how you feel about yourself, it shapes how you show up in love. If you listen and think, “F*ck… this is me,” take that as information, not shame. Nothing is wrong with you, but your self-concept may be running the show and until that changes, your relationships won’t. WORK WITH MICHELLE:Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-womanSign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experienceCONNECT WITH MICHELLE:Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanningWebsite: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 238: 9 Ways Anxious Attachment Is Sabotaging Your Relationship (And You’re Letting It)
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships I’m breaking down nine ways anxious attachment quietly sabotages intimacy, even when you’re self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and “doing the work.” This episode …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships I’m breaking down nine ways anxious attachment quietly sabotages intimacy, even when you’re self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and “doing the work.” This episode is for the woman who knows she’s anxious, she’s read the books, can articulate her wounds and understands her triggers. But her relationships still end the same way. This isn’t about understanding yourself better, it’s about taking responsibility for how you show up in you relationships.We’re looking at the behaviours that feel justified, loving, and understandable… but are actually pushing connection away underneath the surface. Because awareness without responsibility doesn’t change anything. It just gives you better language to explain the same patterns. If you’re ready to stop explaining your patterns and start changing them, this episode will shift somethingWORK WITH MICHELLE:Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-womanSign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experienceCONNECT WITH MICHELLE:Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanningWebsite: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 237: How to Grow From a Girl to a WOMAN
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships I break down the pattern I see in so many smart, capable women who look like they have their life together on the outside, but keep self-sabotaging in love, money …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships I break down the pattern I see in so many smart, capable women who look like they have their life together on the outside, but keep self-sabotaging in love, money, habits, and commitment. We’re talking about the psychology of the eternal girl and why staying in potential feels safer than choosing realityI unpack how this shows up in your day-to-day life: inconsistency, avoidance, fantasy-based dating, fear of commitment, money sabotage, weak boundaries, and the addiction to beginnings. I’ll tell you why responsibility isn’t punishment, it’s the doorway to self-respect and emotional maturityThis episode is about shifting from “almost” into embodiment, moving from girlhood patterns of avoidance, people pleasing, and waiting to be chosen, into grounded woman energy rooted in self-leadership, standards, follow-through, and nervous system safety. If you’re ready to stop rehearsing your life and actually live it, this one is your wake-up call.WORK WITH MICHELLE:Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-womanSign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experienceCONNECT WITH MICHELLE:Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanningWebsite: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 236: The Beginner’s Guide to Shadow Work
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I break down what shadow work actually is, why so many self-aware women still feel stuck after years of healing, and how hidden parts of you quietly run your …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I break down what shadow work actually is, why so many self-aware women still feel stuck after years of healing, and how hidden parts of you quietly run your relationships, boundaries, and self-worth.Shadow work isn’t about fixing yourself, it’s about understanding the parts of you that learned to people please, shut down, over-explain, or self-abandon to feel safe. I explain that these patterns weren’t random, they were survival strategies formed when love or safety felt conditional. This is why behaviour is never the real issue, triggers point to the core wound underneath, and insight alone isn’t enough to create change.This episode is about moving from managing your patterns to leading yourself, by building awareness, nervous system safety, and embodied action, so you’re no longer run by old fears of rejection or abandonment, and can show up in relationships from self-connection, safety, and confidence.WORK WITH MICHELLE:Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-womanSign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experienceCONNECT WITH MICHELLE:Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanningWebsite: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 235: How to Heal an Abandonment Wound
In this episode of Unfck Your* Relationships*, I break down what an abandonment wound actually is, why most women aren’t truly healing it, and how it keeps running the show in relationships, even when you’re …
Show notes
In this episode of Unfck Your* Relationships*, I break down what an abandonment wound actually is, why most women aren’t truly healing it, and how it keeps running the show in relationships, even when you’re self-aware, educated, and have “done the work.” An abandonment wound isn’t about being needy or dramatic. It’s a nervous system injury formed through inconsistency, emotional unpredictability, and love that came and went. And more often than not, the deepest wound isn’t that people leave, it’s that you learned to leave yourself to keep connection. I unpack why triggers feel so intense, why panic isn’t about the present moment, and how self-abandonment shows up as over-giving, over-explaining, and staying in relationships that hurt because being alone feels worse. This episode is about shifting from managing your wound to actually healing it, by building self-connection, emotional safety, and a nervous system that no longer needs chaos to feel love. WORK WITH MICHELLE: Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience CONNECT WITH MICHELLE: Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 234: What Actually Happens When an Avoidant Realises They’ve Lost You
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, I break down what actually happens when an avoidant realises they’ve lost you and why this moment is so often misunderstood and romanticised. Avoidants don’t …
Show notes
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, I break down what actually happens when an avoidant realises they’ve lost you and why this moment is so often misunderstood and romanticised. Avoidants don’t experience breakups the same way anxious or secure people do. Instead of immediate grief, they often feel relief as the fear of closeness shuts off. It’s only later when distractions stop working that the loss truly hits. I unpack the avoidant timeline, from the relief phase to the delayed grief, why breadcrumbing often follows, and why missing you does not automatically mean growth or emotional availability. This episode isn’t about getting them back. It’s about understanding the dynamic so you can stop waiting, stop self-abandoning, and start choosing secure love without needing someone else to realise your worth. WORK WITH MICHELLE: Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-womanSign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experienceCONNECT WITH MICHELLE:Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanningWebsite: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 233: 11 Habits That INSTANTLY Make You Hotter (that have nothing to do with looks)
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationship, I break down why attraction has very little to do with how you look and everything to do with how you move, respond, and relate to yourself.The most magnetic women …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationship, I break down why attraction has very little to do with how you look and everything to do with how you move, respond, and relate to yourself.
The most magnetic women aren’t performing for attention… they’re grounded, regulated, and deeply self-trusting.
I’m sharing the 11 habits that instantly make you more attractive not in a “pick me” way, but in a secure, embodied, unf*ckwithable way that completely changes how you’re treated in relationships.
Here’s what I unpack in this episode:
• Why chasing kills attraction and what to do instead
• How emotional regulation makes you magnetic
• The power of silence, boundaries, and standards
• Why honesty early builds connection
• How staying connected to yourself changes love
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 232: If You Want 2026 to Be Different, Listen to This
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationship, I break down the 26 lessons that quietly reshaped how I live, love, work, and stay devoted to myself. This isn’t about motivation or becoming someone new it’s about …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationship, I break down the 26 lessons that quietly reshaped how I live, love, work, and stay devoted to myself.
This isn’t about motivation or becoming someone new it’s about the standards, discipline, and self trust required to actually create a different year.
These lessons span self trust, shadow work, relationships, embodiment, and devotion to the long game and they all anchor back to one truth a life that looks good but feels wrong is no longer an option.
Here’s what I unpack in this episode:
• Why discipline is self respect and how consistency changes your nervous system more than intensity ever will.
• How to stop abandoning yourself in relationships by watching behaviour, not chasing clarity.
• Why devotion to yourself not willpower is what actually creates lasting change.
This episode is an invitation to stop preparing for your life and start staying with yourself even when it’s uncomfortable.
That’s how 2026 becomes different.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unfckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com(http://www.michellepanning.com/)
Episode 231: Before You Enter 2026, You Need to Let This Version of You Go
In this final episode of 2025 Unf*ck Your Relationships, I dive into why you can’t rush into goals, manifestations, or a “new version” of yourself without first allowing this year to fully complete. Before we …
Show notes
In this final episode of 2025 Unf*ck Your Relationships, I dive into why you can’t rush into goals, manifestations, or a “new version” of yourself without first allowing this year to fully complete.
Before we talk about what’s next, we need to talk about what’s done because unfinished emotional cycles will follow you into the new year if you don’t consciously close them.
Here’s what I unpack in this episode:
• Why feeling tired doesn’t mean you failed and how fatigue often signals nervous system integration.
• Why trying to become “her” keeps you disconnected, and how listening to your body, boredom, and resistance gives clearer direction.
• Why closure is an inside job and how to stop bleeding energy into the past without needing apologies or one last conversation.
This episode is an invitation to let 2025 land, release what’s complete, and create the space required for what comes next.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unfckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com(http://www.michellepanning.com/)
EP 230: You Haven’t Lost Your Spark
EP 230: You Haven’t Lost Your Spark If you’ve been moving through life on autopilot, feeling flat, numb, or disconnected from yourself this episode is for you. Not because something is “wrong” with you… but …
Show notes
EP 230: You Haven’t Lost Your Spark If you’ve been moving through life on autopilot, feeling flat, numb, or disconnected from yourself this episode is for you.
Not because something is “wrong” with you… but because your nervous system is done carrying what was never meant to be permanent. Burnout isn’t a personality flaw.
Losing your spark isn’t a failure. And this season isn’t here to punish you it’s here to wake you up. In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I break down why so many women feel like they’ve lost their spark and why trying to “get back to the old you” is actually keeping you stuck.
This isn’t about romanticising your life or forcing gratitude when you’re depleted. This is mindset + embodiment + shadow work the holy trinity.
I walk you through the five shifts that actually bring your spark back every time by restoring self-trust, reclaiming your energy, and reconnecting you to your aliveness.
Here’s a few things I unpack in this episode:
Why Autopilot Is a Nervous System Response Burnout vs Self-Abandonment Why Productivity Is Killing Your Aliveness Pleasure, Play & Erotic Energy (Without Making It Sexual) You don’t need to find your spark. You need to stop abandoning yourself. And this episode shows you exactly how.
WORK WITH MICHELLE: Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
EP 229: How to Make 2026 Your MOST Successful Year Yet
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, we’re building the blueprint for your most grounded, self-led, and successful year ever. Not because the calendar magically fixes your life - but because you decide …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, we’re building the blueprint for your most grounded, self-led, and successful year ever. Not because the calendar magically fixes your life - but because you decide to show up as the woman who no longer drags old chaos into her new chapter.
2026 is a blank slate. A reset. A clean energetic line in the sand. And the version of you who thrives next year is built from identity, habits, emotional maturity, and standards… not “new year, new me” delusion.
I walk you through the exact ways to anchor into self-belief, detox 2025 without spiralling into shame, rebuild your habits, upgrade your mindset, call in healthy love, and become the woman whose life reflects her standards - not just her Pinterest board.
Here’s what I unpack in this episode:
Claiming 2026 as Your Fresh Start
Identity - Evidence
Reflecting on 2025 Like a Grown Woman
Habits That Match Your Goals
Your 2026 Vision
Intentionality Over Performance
Expanding Your Comfort Zone
The 1% Rule
Big Dreams, Small Actions
Protecting Your Energy
Mindset Mastery
Your Environment & Community
Defining Success on Your Terms
Progress Over Perfection
Celebrating Every Win
Reinvesting in Yourself
Raising Your Standards in Love
Breaking the Anxious/Avoidant Loop
Shadow Work on Your Standards
Embodying Your Worth
Choosing Intimacy Over Chaos
Becoming the Woman Who Lives Her Standards
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
EP 228: How to Enter Your DARK FEMININE ERA
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships*, we’re stepping into the most misunderstood and most misused part of feminine energy: the dark feminine. Not the TikTok version. Not the “manipulate him back” …
Show notes
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships*, we’re stepping into the most misunderstood and most misused part of feminine energy: the dark feminine. Not the TikTok version. Not the “manipulate him back” bullshit. The real dark feminine. The part of you that is bold, grounded, self-protective, deeply self-respecting, and absolutely unwilling to keep abandoning herself for crumbs.
Most women are living 90% in their light feminine… the sweet, nurturing, soft version of themselves and then wonder why they feel drained, overlooked, over-giving, mothering grown men, and acting like the emotional support animal of their friendships. The truth?
Your light feminine didn’t fail you. You were simply never taught how to access the other half of your power.
In this episode, I break down how to awaken the dark feminine in a way that is empowering, not chaotic… liberating, not manipulative… and how she becomes the version of you that will literally save your fucking life.
Here’s what I dive into:
Light vs Dark Feminine
Dark Feminine ≠ Manipulation
Being Willing to Be the Villain
Raising Your Standards
Feminine Assertiveness
Mystery + Moving in Silence
Self-Devotion — Your Level-Up Era
Integration — How to Activate This Today
This episode is your permission slip to enter the era where you don’t just hope for better — you enforce it. Your dark feminine isn’t dangerous. She’s divine. And she’s been waiting for you.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
EP 227: How to Level Up So Fast It Feels Illegal
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, we’re diving into the identity level shifts required to level up so quickly it almost feels wrong. The truth? You’re not stuck because of timing, luck, or the men …
Show notes
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, we’re diving into the identity level shifts required to level up so quickly it almost feels wrong. The truth? You’re not stuck because of timing, luck, or the men you date. You’re stuck because your nervous system is still wired for chaos, crumbs, and chasing and you keep choosing what’s familiar over what’s actually good for you.
I break down the real reasons you keep looping in the same patterns and how to step into the version of you who doesn’t tolerate inconsistency, confusion, or emotional breadcrumbs. This is where your “Secure Her” identity gets built not from goals, but from standards, self-respect, and micro-moments of alignment.
Here’s what I unpack in this episode:
Why You’re Stuck It’s not the universe or bad luck. It’s the identity you’re operating from and the parts of you (anxious girl, avoidant girl, cool girl, little girl) running the show.
Defining Your Next-Level Self Who is “Secure Her”? What does she tolerate? What becomes a hard no? And if the world was watching you 24/7… would you be proud?
Meeting the Version of You Who Already Lives There The you with standards, follow-through, nourishment, rest, boundaries, and self-respect. What does she do that you’re not doing? What has she stopped tolerating?
The Brutal Gap Check Where your life doesn’t match your mouth: who you text, who you sleep with, your friendships, your food, your sleep, and how you talk to yourself. Your results = your standards in action.
Closing the Gap With Micro-Standards One small high-standard action per day. Don’t text him back. Go to bed earlier. Speak up. Walk away from what isn’t a match. Let your nervous system learn that it’s safe to be the new you.
Expecting Backlash + Resistance Old friends will notice. Men who benefitted from your low standards will push back. Your inner child will panic because familiar feels safe. This is GOOD.
Reframing the Discomfort “I’m not losing people I’m losing patterns.” “I’m not being dramatic I’m raising my standards.” “It’s not scary it’s new.”
At the core, leveling up this fast isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about returning to the version of you who was always there the one with discernment, self-trust, and standards that feel like a full-body yes.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 226: If your friends do any of these things, cut them out immediately
Because here’s the reality:In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships*, we’re going deep into the truth about female friendships, support, and the energetics behind the women you keep around you.You cannot …
Show notes
Because here’s the reality:
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships*, we’re going deep into the truth about female friendships, support, and the energetics behind the women you keep around you.
You cannot build a powerful life while surrounding yourself with women who are secretly competing with you, resenting you, or only “supportive” when you’re not doing better than them.
And yet so many women tolerate friendships that drain them, make them shrink, or leave them feeling like they have to downplay their wins so someone else doesn’t get jealous.
That’s not friendship. That’s scarcity disguised as connection.
This episode is your reminder that you deserve women who CELEBRATE you, not tolerate you. Women who want to see you shine. Women who support your growth instead of being threatened by it.
Because aligned friendships don’t cost you energy—they give you energy.
Here’s what I unpack in this episode: Jealous Friends Come From Scarcity
Why some women get triggered by your success, your confidence, or your joy—and why their reaction is actually about their own lack, not your shine.
The Desire to Be Supported
How wanting support is not “needy,” and how to consciously choose women who can hold you, cheer for you, and love you without competition.
Friendships That Feel Like Celebration
What it looks like to have women who genuinely want to see you win, and why being surrounded by expanders completely shifts your self-worth and standards.
Energy Vampires & Dread Friendships
The red flags of friendships you’ve outgrown, especially when you find yourself dreading seeing them, managing their emotions, or leaving the interaction drained.
Why Upgrading Your Friend Circle Is Inevitable When You Grow
The uncomfortable truth that not everyone gets to come with you when you rise… and how to release friendships with grace instead of guilt.
At the core, this episode is about elevating your standards for the women you allow into your world.
Because high-value women don’t keep people around who pull them back into smallness.
They choose connection that feels grounding, reciprocal, celebratory, and safe.
You deserve friendships that expand you—not friendships you need to recover from.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com (http://www.michellepanning.com/)
Episode: 225 How to RAISE YOUR STANDARDS and UPGRADE YOUR LIFE
WORK WITH MICHELLE: Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable …
Show notes
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com (http://www.michellepanning.com/)
Episode 224: Life Lessons from a Recovering People Pleaser
Okay, babe… let's talk about people pleasing, because this episode is me calling myself (and you) all the way out. For years, I thought being the "chill, supportive, easygoing" partner made me good. But in …
Show notes
Okay, babe… let's talk about people pleasing, because this episode is me calling myself (and you) all the way out.
For years, I thought being the "chill, supportive, easygoing" partner made me good. But in reality? I was just betraying myself over and over. I wasn't setting boundaries, I was building walls and then wondering why everything exploded when I finally snapped.
I share the story of how I went from spending every damn Saturday house-hunting for someone else's dream home (that I wasn't even living in!) to realising I was overextending myself because I was scared to look "selfish."
In this episode, I break down:
- The difference between having boundaries and just having preferences.
- Why your energy is sacred (and not everyone deserves access).
- How to stop rescuing grown-ass adults and hand their emotional baggage right back to them.
- What "proof over promises" really looks like in love and life.
- And why the only people pissed about your boundaries are the ones who benefited when you didn't have any.
This is your permission slip to stop apologizing for protecting your peace. You can be kind and firm. You can be soft andstrong. You can be compassionate and say "no."
Stop gaslighting your feelings just to make other people comfortable. If that makes you "too much," so be it.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 223: Stop Calling It Love…You're Just Abandoning Yourself
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I'm calling BS on the fluffy, feel-good version of "self-love." Because let's be real… bubble baths and affirmations don't fix years of self-abandonment. I get raw …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I'm calling BS on the fluffy, feel-good version of "self-love." Because let's be real… bubble baths and affirmations don't fix years of self-abandonment.
I get raw about my own story of being the "ultimate caretaker", the one holding everything together, doing the emotional labor, and calling it love. Spoiler alert: it wasn't love, it was survival. And it left me exhausted, resentful, and disconnected as hell.
I break down what it really looks like to stop people-pleasing and start standing the f*ck up for yourself…even when it makes others uncomfortable.
Here's what we get into:
- Why "acting single" in a relationship might be the healthiest move you ever make
- How to spot the sneaky ways you keep abandoning yourself
- What self-respect and emotional discipline actually look like (hint: it's not being the chill girl)
- The power of saying "no," sending the meal back, and owning your standards
- Why advocating for your needs is a flex…not a flaw
- How to rebuild self-trust and stop outsourcing your worth
By the end, I'll remind you of one thing every woman needs to hear:
No one's coming to save you, babe…you're the damn hero of your own story.
It's time to stop settling, stop shrinking, and start showing up like the woman who knows exactly who she is.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 222: How to Stop the Emotional Whiplash of Fearful Avoidance
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, I dive into the fearful avoidant attachment style sometimes called anxious avoidant and the blind spots that come with it. This was once my dominant attachment …
Show notes
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, I dive into the fearful avoidant attachment style sometimes called anxious avoidant and the blind spots that come with it. This was once my dominant attachment style, and even now I can see how it still pops up in relationships.
Unlike anxious or dismissive avoidants, the fearful avoidant flips between hyper-activation (all emotion, seeking closeness, reassurance, and validation) and deactivation (withdrawal, coldness, the "ick," detachment). This creates emotional whiplash for partners, leaving them unsure which version of you they're going to get.
Here's what I unpack in this episode:
- Logic vs. Emotion – How fearful avoidants have access to both, but rarely integrate them at the same time.
- The Pendulum Swing – Why you may go from desperate for closeness one week to completely withdrawn the next.
- The "Lost Myself" Myth – Why feeling like you "lost yourself" in a relationship often just means hidden parts of you have been triggered.
- The Mask Crumbling – How the persona you've built (cool girl, caregiver, rescuer, strong independent woman) eventually cracks under stress, leaving you scattered and disconnected.
- The Integration Work – Using both emotion and logic as data, building authenticity, and leaning into micro-moments of vulnerability instead of extreme swings.
- Practical Tips – For anxious-leaning FAs: keep a scorecard of consistency and non-negotiables so you don't abandon yourself. For avoidant-leaning FAs: practice small disclosures and direct asks to build capacity for intimacy without shutting down.
At the core, being a fearful avoidant isn't about shame, it's about learning integration, self-compassion, and balance. When you use both emotion and logic together, you can move toward secure love without the constant pendulum swings.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 221: Why Logic Won't Save You in Love
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, I'm breaking down the blind spots of the dismissive avoidant attachment style. If you've ever felt confused about why you (or your partner) shut down, withdraw, or …
Show notes
In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, I'm breaking down the blind spots of the dismissive avoidant attachment style. If you've ever felt confused about why you (or your partner) shut down, withdraw, or over-rely on logic in relationships, this episode will give you clarity and a new way forward.
Here's what I dive into:
- Logic vs. Love – Why relying on logic and analysis won't create real intimacy.
- Where It Starts – How childhood environments that dismissed emotions shaped these defense patterns.
- The Hidden Cycle – How conflicts get rationalized away, leading to the same fights and disconnection repeating.
- Cut Off From Pain – Why avoiding your emotions also cuts you off from your body's wisdom and intuition.
- The Path Forward – Learning to balance logic with emotion, validate your own needs, and stay in connection even when it feels uncomfortable.
This episode is for both dismissive avoidants who want to understand themselves better, and anxious partners who are trying to make sense of their avoidant loved ones. My goal is to bring empathy, clarity, and practical tools to both sides so you can create more safety and connection.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 220: The Hidden Patterns Keeping You Stuck in Love
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationship, I dig into the blind spots of anxious attachment, the hidden patterns that keep you stuck in the same cycles, even when you think you've "done the work." I explain …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationship, I dig into the blind spots of anxious attachment, the hidden patterns that keep you stuck in the same cycles, even when you think you've "done the work."
I explain why reflection alone isn't enough, because you can only reflect on what you're consciously aware of.
Blind spots live in the shadows the parts of yourself you deny, repress, or don't even know exist. And until you shine light on those, you'll keep repeating the same patterns in love, friendships, and even business.
Here's what I explore in this episode:
- Your strength as someone with anxious attachment
- The shadow side of that strength
- How failing to hold boundaries often leads to resentment, misplaced blame, and feeling abandoned.
- Why sourcing safety from within not from your partner is the foundation of secure love.
- How building a full life outside of relationships makes you more attractive, grounded, and secure.
- Why pacing yourself in love is crucial to avoiding cycles of clinginess, panic, and destabilisation.
I also share a personal story about noticing when I wanted my partner to uphold a boundary that was actually mine to hold a powerful reminder that no one else can honour your limits for you.
At the heart of this episode, I want you to know: your open heart is a gift.
But your lesson is learning to protect it, pace it, and recognise your value, so you don't hand it over to just anyone without discernment.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
Episode 219: The Real Reason Anxious + Avoidant Relationships NEVER Work (Until You Do This)
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationship, I dive into one of the most common yet challenging dynamics I see: the anxious–avoidant relationship. Instead of just giving surface-level advice like "communicate …
Show notes
In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationship, I dive into one of the most common yet challenging dynamics I see: the anxious–avoidant relationship. Instead of just giving surface-level advice like "communicate better" or "give each other more space," I explore how shadow work is the real key to creating lasting change.
I share some of my own experiences with anxiety, avoidance, and love and why I realised that traditional approaches often just reinforce the old wounds. For me, shadow work has been the tool that allowed me to see the parts of myself I had disowned and projected onto partners, which kept me locked in unhealthy cycles.
Here's what I cover:
- Why anxious and avoidant partners are so magnetised to each other.
- How your partner often mirrors the parts of yourself you've hidden or rejected.
- Why symptom management (like "better communication") doesn't actually heal the root cause.
- The difference between chemistry and true compatibility.
- How I personally decide when a relationship is worth working on vs. when it's time to leave.
- The questions I ask myself when I feel stuck in old patterns.
This work has taught me that true growth in relationships comes from embodiment, not just intellectual understanding. That's exactly why I created The Connected Woman to help women integrate shadow work with practices that shift attachment patterns, so we can all show up more secure, more authentic, and more fully ourselves in love.
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
Ep 218: Mirror, Mirror: A Conversation About Call-Outs with Connected Woman Alum Heather Rotan
Today's conversation is all about the OWN IT part of CLOCK IT, OWN IT, CLEAN IT UP…and who better to share than the accountability queen herself, my amazing client Heather! Heather is a mother of three, a …
Show notes
Today's conversation is all about the OWN IT part of CLOCK IT, OWN IT, CLEAN IT UP…and who better to share than the accountability queen herself, my amazing client Heather!
Heather is a mother of three, a healthcare executive, and a self-proclaimed attention whore who loves deeply, leads fiercely, and never backs down from a challenge…and she proved that when she finally (after THREE FUCKING YEARS!) signed up for The Connected Woman!
Facing down your patterns is never easy. But Heather makes it look that way with the way she owns them. It can take fucking AGES for people to clean up their patterns because they spend so long pretending they don't exist.
Not an issue for Heather. And I'm hopeful as FUCK she's going to inspire you all to take a long, hard look in the mirror…because if everyone owned their shit the way she does, they'd hit a breakthrough a whole lot faster.
CONNECT WITH HEATHER:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heather_rotan86
WORK WITH MICHELLE:
These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening
Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience
Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
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