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The Default Parent Dilemma: Why Everyone Still Comes to Mom First

October 7, 2026 · 13 min

Show notes

Your kid walks past another perfectly capable adult to ask you where something is. The school needs one parent email, and yours is the one that goes on the form before anyone has discussed it. Something gets forgotten by somebody else, and somehow you still feel the pull to explain it, fix it, or wonder what you should have done differently.

If you're a working mom who has made the shared list, explained the plan clearly, and handed something off the right way, you probably know the feeling of doing everything right and still being the default parent.

In this episode, Andi Salcedo, coach, working mother, and founder of Momtoring, goes back to a bag she packed the night before a family reunion. She set it by the front door, made a plan with her husband, and wasn't even home when the car left. When her daughter got home from the trip, she said one sentence that Andi has been turning over ever since.

Andi also talks about a school cafeteria form she filled out this summer, and the second she caught her own hand moving before she had decided anything.

This one is for the working mom who is tired of being the answer when something goes wrong, and would like to hear someone say it out loud. Maybe your kids come to you first. Maybe your name is the one on every form.

So why does it still land on you when you did everything right? And what would it take for it to land somewhere else?

Enjoyed this episode? Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. New episodes every week.

If something landed for you, share it with another working mom who needs to hear it.

And if you're ready to go deeper, find me at www.momtoring.com or come say hi on Instagram at @andi.momtoring. I'd love to hear what cracked open for you.

Questions, reflections, or just want to reach out? Write to me at [email protected].

Music by prettyjohn1 from Pixabay

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