#40 When a Partner Isn’t on Board with Connection Focused Parenting | With Kyle & Sara Wester

What do you do when you want to parent through connection and your partner keeps reaching for control? Eli talks with Kyle and Sara Wester about the years when they were on different pages, the moment Kyle began to rethink discipline, and the daily conversations that helped them build a shared approach.

They explore the fear underneath controlling parenting, how to support a partner without taking over, and what mutual respect looks like with teenagers. Their stories make room for imperfect moments, honest reflection, and coming back to repair.

Key Takeaways

• Keep modeling the connection you want to build, even when your partner is not yet ready to hear a different perspective.
• Kyle shares how learning about fear and the brain helped him reconsider discipline and the parenting patterns he inherited.
• Notice when you are asking your children to soothe your stress, and make room to regulate yourself before responding.
• Brief, regular conversations can help partners understand the beliefs and expectations underneath their parenting choices.
• Supporting your partner can mean asking whether they want help and trusting them to handle a hard moment.
• Mutual respect grows through modeling, taking responsibility, and repairing when you get it wrong.

About the Guests

Kyle and Sara Wester are the hosts of The Art of Raising Humans. In this conversation, they share their experience as parents and counselors, including how they moved from conflicting approaches toward a shared vision for their family.

Visit Art of Raising Humans

Resources Mentioned

• Parenting Together Workbook — Kyle and Sara’s free resource for exploring a shared approach to parenting; email signup required.
• Art of Raising Humans resources

Learn more about secure parenting:

https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-program

Connect with Eli:

• Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd

Music by Gold Child:

https://www.goldchildmusic.com/