Pillow Talks
- Episódios
- 286
- Publicação
- semanal
- Último episódio
- 12 nov 2026
Sobre o podcast
Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!
Episódios 286
E286: Am I the Asshole? Trading Sex For Chores & Snooping On My Wife
It's time for another round of Am I The Asshole? In this episode, we're talking about: The vibrator investigation: One husband starts photographing his wife's nightstand drawer. What is he trying to prove, and …
Notas do episódio
It's time for another round of Am I The Asshole?
In this episode, we're talking about:
The vibrator investigation: One husband starts photographing his wife's nightstand drawer. What is he trying to prove, and has he crossed a line?
Sex for chores: Is it fair to negotiate a lighter household workload in exchange for Saturday night sex?
Not wanting your sex drive back: What happens when one partner wants more sex, but the other isn't interested in increasing their libido?
The canceled sex date: When your partner schedules sex and then backs out, is it reasonable to feel disappointed?
The 13-hour shift: Does saying "I'm tired, but I'm still open to it" count as genuine desire, or does it make sex feel like an obligation?
We're unpacking the complicated feelings, expectations, and relationship dynamics behind each story, and sharing what we'd actually recommend these couples do next.
Listen together, pick your sides, and see if you agree with our verdicts!
Want sex you'll both be counting down to?
If your sex life has started feeling a little too predictable, sometimes all it takes is trying something new!
Ultimate Sex Positions is our illustrated guide to bringing more variety, excitement, and pleasure into the bedroom.
Inside, you'll find:
40+ illustrated sex positions to help you break out of your usual routine
Step-by-step instructions for getting into, moving through, and comfortably enjoying each position
New ways to explore pleasure together and discover what feels amazing for both of you
And through November 16, you can get Ultimate Sex Positions for 20% OFF!
We're also throwing in The Pillow Positions as a FREE bonus, featuring 17 all-new positions you can try using a pillow or positioner.
Get Ultimate Sex Positions for 20% OFF + your free bonus: https://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex
Stay Connected
Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
Get our weekly emails: Real talk, expert tips, and zero shame. https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR
==========================
👏Thanks Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS use code PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you!➡︎https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD
👏Thanks StoryWorth. Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you'll all cherish for years. Right now, save up to $20 during Storyworth's Holiday sale. ➡︎https://storyworth.com/pillow
👏Thanks Quince. Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and UK, too. When Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was from the Pillow Talks! ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E285: Ask a Sex Therapist: Sore Jaws, Awkward Eye Contact & Aging Down There
It's time for another round of Ask A Sex Therapist, where we answer your most personal, awkward, and downright fascinating questions about sex and relationships! In this episode, we're talking about: Blowjob …
Notas do episódio
It's time for another round of Ask A Sex Therapist, where we answer your most personal, awkward, and downright fascinating questions about sex and relationships!
In this episode, we're talking about:
Blowjob jaw: Why your jaw gets sore during oral sex, plus an easy technique to make things more comfortable (and pleasurable!)
That “I have to pee” feeling: What it can mean when you experience this sensation during sex
Changes as you age: What's really happening to your clitoris as you get older
Eye contact during sex: Why it feels so vulnerable, what our community had to say, and how to make it feel more natural
Body odor: Is it normal to notice your own scent at certain points in your menstrual cycle?
Emotional connection: Who's responsible for creating more closeness in a relationship?
And one very unexpected question about height that has Xander wondering if there's a giantess fantasy involved!
Whether you've wondered about these things yourself or you're just curious about what other people are asking, this episode is full of practical tips, surprising answers, and plenty of laughs.
Ready to feel seriously confident with your hands and mouth?
If you've ever wondered whether you're doing it right, or wished you had a few more tricks up your sleeve, we've got you!
The Ultimate Foreplay Guides are our step-by-step guides to giving your partner incredible pleasure with your hands and mouth.
Inside, you'll discover:
Separate guides for vulvas and penises, with techniques tailored to your partner's anatomy
Step-by-step instructions for fingering, oral sex, handjobs, and blowjobs
Ways to combine your hands and mouth for even more pleasure, including the technique we mention in this episode!
Check out The Ultimate Foreplay Guides: https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay
Stay Connected Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander Get our weekly emails: Real talk, expert tips, and zero shame. https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR ========================== 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off on home and sleepwear. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com 👏Thanks StoryWorth. Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you'll all cherish for years. Right now, save up to $20 during Storyworth's Holiday sale. ➡︎https://storyworth.com/pillow 👏Thanks Quince. Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and UK, too. When Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was from Pillow Talks! ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E284: Your Wildest Kink & Fantasy Questions… Answered!
Ever wondered why you have a certain kink? Or if it’s OK to fantasize about someone else during sex? Or maybe you’ve been curious about cuckolding, breeding kinks, or pegging… but didn’t know who to ask. Today …
Notas do episódio
Ever wondered why you have a certain kink? Or if it’s OK to fantasize about someone else during sex? Or maybe you’ve been curious about cuckolding, breeding kinks, or pegging… but didn’t know who to ask.
Today, we’re answering your questions about kinks and fantasies.
From the psychology of desire to navigating mismatches with your partner, we’re tackling the wild, the vulnerable, and the deeply human side of sexual exploration. As always, with zero shame and plenty of insight.
This episode is packed with permission, perspective, and practical advice.
💛 Here’s what we’re covering:
Why we have kinks in the first place
The most common sexual fantasies and what they really mean
The difference between a fantasy and a desire (and how to safely explore both)
Can you fantasize about someone else during sex with your partner?
What to do when your fantasy doesn’t match your partner’s
How to explore pegging, role reversal, and butt stuff (without shame)
The sex club fantasy (that’s not about group sex)
Navigating gender play, lingerie, and makeup with confidence
🔗 Links & Resources
Episode 53: How To Spice It Up In The Bedroom: Exploring Kink For Beginners 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/episode53
- Episode 213: What Do Men REALLY Think About…? Part 3 (Doggy Style, Aging, Leg Hair & More!) 👉🏻https://vmtherapy.com/episode213
Ready to turn a little curiousity into something you actually try?
47 tasteful, illustrated positions with step-by-step instructions on how to get in, how to move, and how to transition out
Smart adjustments for real bodies, including different heights, flexibility levels, curves, bellies, and pregnancy
Curated adventures for every mood, so you just pick your vibe and go, whether it's slow and romantic or fast and wild
Check out Ultimate Sex Positions here: vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex
✅ Stay Connected
📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns.
Sign up here 👉🏻 vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods!
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR
==========================
👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off on home and sleepwear. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com
👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first order of premium, wild-caught seafood. Get seafood you can trust. ➡︎http://wildalaskan.com/PILLOW
👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E283: Reverse Cowgirl: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques for Maximum Pleasure
Ready to turn things around in the bedroom? We're talking reverse cowgirl, and trust us, there's a LOT more to this position than simply facing the other direction. Where do your legs go? How do you keep your …
Notas do episódio
Ready to turn things around in the bedroom?
We're talking reverse cowgirl, and trust us, there's a LOT more to this position than simply facing the other direction.
Where do your legs go? How do you keep your partner from popping out? And what exactly is he supposed to be doing while you're up there?
We're answering all your burning questions about Reverse Cowgirl, including a few you probably didn't even know you had.
From finding your favorite angle to getting more clitoral stimulation, we're sharing the little adjustments that can make this position a whole lot more fun for both of you.
In this episode, you'll hear:
How to get into reverse cowgirl without accidentally kicking your partner in the face
The simple pelvic tilt that can completely change how this position feels
How to keep your partner from popping out, plus how to avoid accidentally bending his penis
Why reverse cowgirl can be great for clitoral stimulation, especially if you're a little shy about touching yourself
How to stay connected when you can't see each other's faces
What the partner on the bottom can do with their hands to make things even better
The pillow trick that makes reverse cowgirl more comfortable if you struggle with straddling.
Whether reverse cowgirl is already in your regular rotation or you've been curious about giving it a go, you're about to discover some new ways to make this position feel REALLY good.
Grab your partner, press play, and get ready to turn things around.
Ready to add a few more favorites to your bedroom rotation? Reverse cowgirl is just the beginning, friends.
If you're ready to explore new angles, discover what feels amazing for your bodies, and have a whole lot more fun together, Ultimate Sex Positions is for you.
You'll get:
47 tastefully illustrated sex positions.
Step-by-step instructions that show you how to get into each position, move together, and find what feels best.
Tips and techniques for more pleasure, so you can experiment with different sensations and discover new favorites together.
Whether you're feeling adventurous or just want to put a new spin on an old favorite, there's something in here for every couple.
Check out Ultimate Sex Positions here: http://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex
Stay Connected
Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR
==========================
👏Thanks Cure. Cure’s the electrolyte mix I’ve started reaching for daily. With clean ingredients and nothing artificial, it’s become easy to stay hydrated. Find it on Amazon or use the code PILLOWTALKS for 20% off. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOWTALKS
👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off on home and sleepwear. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com
👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E282: Is This Normal? He Made AI Sex Videos of Us, and I Have Questions
Your husband creates AI videos of the two of you having sex. You're only having sex four times a year. Or you tried a new position once, hated it, and have absolutely no interest in giving it another shot. Is …
Notas do episódio
Your husband creates AI videos of the two of you having sex. You're only having sex four times a year. Or you tried a new position once, hated it, and have absolutely no interest in giving it another shot.
Is this normal?!
We're back with another round of Is This Normal?, where we answer your real-life sex and relationship questions and get into all the things you've been wondering about.
And this week's questions are giving us PLENTY to talk about.
We're unpacking some pretty interesting bedroom situations and sharing our thoughts on what's worth exploring, what deserves a conversation, and why your version of normal doesn't have to look like anyone else's.
In this episode, you'll hear:
Is it normal for your husband to create AI images and videos of the two of you having sex?
What it means if you're only having sex four times a year, and whether there's a magic number couples should aim for
What to do when your partner says she enjoys sex, but you're not convinced
Whether it's okay to take a position or sex act off the table after one bad experience
How to talk about trying something again when one partner is curious and the other isn't interested
Some of these questions might sound familiar. Others might have you thinking, "Wait, people do that?!"
Either way, you're going to want to hear our answers.
Press play, then ask your partner which question surprised them the most.
Ready to discover your next favorite position?
One meh experience doesn’t mean you have to write off trying new things. And you definitely don’t have to retry something you didn’t enjoy.
If you’re curious about what else might feel good, Ultimate Sex Positions gives you 47 positions to explore together, with clear instructions that take the guesswork out of trying something new.
Inside, you’ll get:
47 illustrated sex positions, so you can see exactly what goes where
Step-by-step instructions for getting into and out of each position
Tips for moving together and finding your rhythm, so you can discover what works for your bodies
You might find a new favorite, rediscover an old one, or have a really good time experimenting together.
Check out Ultimate Sex Positions here: http://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR
==========================
👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E281: Am I the Asshole? Kissing After Oral, Weight Gain, and Bad Sex
Would you kiss your partner after they went down on you? What would you do if your partner wasn't enjoying the sex you were having? And how would you handle it if weight gain started affecting your physical …
Notas do episódio
Would you kiss your partner after they went down on you? What would you do if your partner wasn't enjoying the sex you were having? And how would you handle it if weight gain started affecting your physical intimacy?
Oh, we've got some opinions about these ones.
It's time for another round of Am I the Asshole?, where we read your real-life relationship stories, unpack the bedroom disagreements, and give our verdicts on who's in the wrong.
In this episode, you'll hear:
The husband who loves going down on his wife, but has some very specific rules about what happens afterward
Whether refusing to kiss your partner after oral sex is a reasonable boundary or a bedroom double standard
How weight gain can affect physical intimacy, and what happens when partners disagree about it
What to do when one partner isn't enjoying the sex they're having
Our verdicts on each story, including where we agree, disagree, and think things get a little more complicated
Think you already know who's in the wrong? You might change your mind once you hear the other side.
Grab your partner, press play, and see if you agree with our verdicts. We have a feeling a few of these are going to spark some pretty interesting conversations.
Want to give your partner a few more reasons to say, "Do that again"?
Let's talk about putting those hands and mouths to VERY good use.
The Ultimate Foreplay Guides give you step-by-step techniques for fingering, oral sex, handjobs, and blowjobs, with expert guidance on exactly how to touch, tease, and pleasure your partner.
You'll get separate guides for vulvas and penises, packed with techniques you can practice, experiment with, and make your own.
And who knows? You might just discover a new favorite move tonight.
Check out The Ultimate Foreplay Guides here: https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR
==========================
👏Thanks Cure. Cure’s the electrolyte mix I’ve started reaching for daily. With clean ingredients and nothing artificial, it’s become easy to stay hydrated. Find it on Amazon or use the code PILLOWTALKS for 20% off. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOWTALKS
👏Thanks Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS use code PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you!➡︎https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD
👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E280: The Initiation Mistakes You Don’t Even Realize You’re Making
Initiating sex in your relationship should feel exciting, not frustrating. But for most couples, it’s anything but smooth. Whether you're feeling stuck, rejected, or just plain awkward when it comes to getting …
Notas do episódio
Initiating sex in your relationship should feel exciting, not frustrating. But for most couples, it’s anything but smooth.
Whether you're feeling stuck, rejected, or just plain awkward when it comes to getting things started in the bedroom, today’s episode is here to help!
We surveyed our audience, and only 17% of people said they’re happy with how initiation is going in their relationship. That means a lot of us are struggling with:
🚨 Feeling like one partner is always initiating while the other never does
🚨 Getting caught off guard and feeling pressured to have sex in the moment
🚨 Waiting until the end of the night, when you're both exhausted
🚨 Using "lazy" or unsexy initiation attempts (boob honks, anyone?)
🚨 Feeling like your partner only flirts when they want something
Sound familiar? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’re breaking down the most common mistakes couples make when initiating sex.
🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✅ The #1 reason why most couples struggle with initiation
✅ Why timing matters just as much as how you initiate
✅ The major mistake that makes sex feel like a pop quiz, and what to do instead
✅ What to say (and what not to say) when initiating sex
✅ How to make your partner feel wanted instead of pressured
And of course, we’re sharing our top tool to completely transform the way you initiate, so you and your partner can experience more connection, better intimacy, and yes… way more satisfying sex!
Ready to stop guessing what actually works?
The Art of Initiation helps you figure out how each of you actually likes sex to be initiated, so you can make getting things started feel a whole lot more fun (and a whole lot less awkward).
You’ll uncover your Initiation Styles, figure out what makes each of you more open to getting turned on, and get 61 specific ways to initiate that you can actually try together.
And right now, you can get instant lifetime access for just $49 (normally $89).
GET THE ART OF INITIATION FOR $49 →https://buy.vmtherapy.com/art-of-initiation
Sale ends Tuesday, October 6 at 11:59 pm PT.
Stay Connected Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR ========================== 👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E279: Ask a Sex Therapist: Kink Icks, Spicy Pics, and Vanilla Sex
Would you tell your partner if their kink gave you the ick? What if their foreplay technique wasn't quite doing it for you? And is it normal for sex to be just okay most of the time? Oh, we've got some GOOD …
Notas do episódio
Would you tell your partner if their kink gave you the ick? What if their foreplay technique wasn't quite doing it for you? And is it normal for sex to be just okay most of the time? Oh, we've got some GOOD questions for you today. We're back with another round of Ask a Sex Therapist, answering the questions you've been sending us about sex, pleasure, and all those things you might be a little too embarrassed to ask out loud. From requesting spicy pics to navigating intimacy when your marriage is going through a rough patch, we're getting into the details with our favorite combination of honest conversations, practical advice, and a little TMI. In this episode, you'll hear:
- How to ask your wife for spicy pics in a way that feels fun for both of you
- What to do when your partner's kink gives you the ick
- How to navigate intimacy when your marriage is going through a rough patch
- Whether it's normal for sex to be average most of the time and mind-blowing only occasionally
- Why clitoral stimulation can sometimes feel so intense that it almost hurts
- How to tell your partner you want something different during foreplay without hurting their feelings
Whether you've been wondering about one of these questions yourself or you're just here for the juicy details, you're going to love this conversation. And who knows? You might even pick up a new trick or two to try tonight. Ready to put some new moves in your foreplay repertoire? We've got your next favorite thing to do in bed. Actually, make that several. The Ultimate Foreplay Guides are packed with step-by-step techniques for fingering, oral sex, handjobs, and blowjobs, so you can discover new ways to touch, tease, and drive each other absolutely wild. You'll also get an entire section dedicated to navigating foreplay frustrations, including how to ask for what you want and give feedback that actually helps. Because the more you know about each other's pleasure, the more fun you get to have together. Check out The Ultimate Foreplay Guides here: https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay Stay Connected Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off on home and sleepwear. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com 👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first order of premium, wild-caught seafood. Get seafood you can trust. ➡︎http://wildalaskan.com/PILLOW 👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E278: How to Get Out of a Relationship Rut: Your 4-Week Plan
Your conversations have turned into a running list of who's handling what, and your quality time is two people on one couch looking at two different screens. 44% of the couples we polled said they're in a rut …
Notas do episódio
Your conversations have turned into a running list of who's handling what, and your quality time is two people on one couch looking at two different screens. 44% of the couples we polled said they're in a rut right now too.
So we built you a four-week plan, five minutes a day, plus the exact words to use if you're the one who has to bring it up.
In this episode, you'll hear:
The difference between a rut and a red flag
The exact words to use when you're the one raising this, and how to keep it from landing like a complaint
Why "we're just busy" is the most common reason couples end up here, and the part nobody questions
The five-minute daily habit that starts week one, and why your brain needs the reps
The weekend activity that only counts if it has zero practical value
The hug-and-kiss math that resets both your nervous systems in under a minute
Why week four is the one couples skip, and why skipping it is how you end up right back here
A rut doesn't mean you picked the wrong person or that something's broken between you. It means life got loud, so press play with your partner and let this be the thing that starts the conversation.
LINKS & RESOURCES
- 📝4-Week Relationship Reset PDF: your Companion Workbook for EPISODE 278:How to Get Out of a Relationship Rut: Your 4-Week Plan - https://free.vmtherapy.com/4-week-reset
- 👋The Art of Initiation: your guide to making initiation feel easier, sexier, and more satisfying https://buy.vmtherapy.com/art-of-initiation
- ✅Turn Me On: Your Initiation Style Guide: a free guide to discover your unique initiation style (and how to use it!) https://free.vmtherapy.com/initiation-style-guide
Want the month after this one handled too? The Spark is our $9 a month membership for couples whose lives are full and whose relationship keeps sliding to the bottom of the list. Every month we deliver a fresh drop of ideas straight to you.
- The planning is done for you. The ideas show up, and the two of you pick whatever sounds fun.
- Small sparks, on a schedule. Enough momentum to keep you out of the rut you just climbed out of.
Nine dollars a month. Less than a fancy coffee. Check out The Spark here: https://vmtherapy.com/spark ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Cure. Cure’s the electrolyte mix I’ve started reaching for daily. With clean ingredients and nothing artificial, it’s become easy to stay hydrated. Find it on Amazon or use the code PILLOWTALKS for 20% off. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOWTALKS 👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E277: How to Take Your Orgasm to the Next Level with the Four Orgasm Amplifiers
Every once in a while an orgasm hits you like a freight train, and you lie there afterward wondering what on earth that was and why you can't do it again. What if that wasn't luck? In this episode, you'll hear …
Notas do episódio
Every once in a while an orgasm hits you like a freight train, and you lie there afterward wondering what on earth that was and why you can't do it again.
What if that wasn't luck?
In this episode, you'll hear:
Why getting really efficient at reaching orgasm can be the exact thing capping how big it gets
Why getting really efficient at reaching orgasm can be the exact thing capping how big it gets
The four things about your orgasm you can actually change
What your body does automatically the second an orgasm starts that's probably cutting it short
Why the window for a second orgasm stays open longer than you think, and the one moment that closes it
The truth about G-spot, cervical, and nipple orgasms, and why none of them outrank the clitoris
What Vanessa found after twenty years of thinking she already knew everything about her own body
What if your orgasm was only the beginning?
Advanced Orgasm is our course for the woman who already orgasms reliably, on her own and with a partner, and is curious what else her body can do. It doesn't teach you how to orgasm. It teaches you how to shape what happens when you do.
The four Amplifiers we walk through in this episode. Intensity, Duration, Frequency, and Pathway. Four levers you can pull, with the step-by-step for each one.
You get to decide what kind of orgasm you have. Slow and drawn out tonight, enormous on Friday, two of them if that's the mood.
A 30-day actually-try-it guarantee. Give it a fair shot, and if you haven't learned something that expands how you explore your own pleasure, we'll refund you.
Lifetime access, including every upgrade we ever make to it.
Check out Advanced Orgasm here: https://vmtherapy.com/advanced
Not sure if it’s for you? If your orgasm only shows up under very particular conditions, or you can get there on your own but not with a partner, that's not a flaw. You're just at a different starting line. Start with Finishing School: https://vmtherapy.com/orgasm
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
==========================
👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off on home and sleepwear. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com
👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first order of premium, wild-caught seafood. Get seafood you can trust. ➡︎http://wildalaskan.com/PILLOW
👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E276: How Do You Turn Your Partner On? (When You've Been Together For Years)
At the start of a relationship, turning your partner on felt like it took basically no effort. So what do you do a decade in, when you've watched each other fart and floss, and nothing seems to happen on its …
Notas do episódio
At the start of a relationship, turning your partner on felt like it took basically no effort.
So what do you do a decade in, when you've watched each other fart and floss, and nothing seems to happen on its own anymore?
In this episode, you'll hear:
Why nothing sexy happens spontaneously after about six months, and what has to replace it
The thing you have to clear out of the way before you can build desire at all
Which of the four desire types you and your partner each are, and why it changes how you initiate
How to flirt with someone you've been with for years without feeling ridiculous
The compliment swap that makes it actually land, and what to say instead of "you're hot"
Why initiating in the moment is already too late, and when to start instead
What our community said gets them in the mood, from grey sweatpants to a longer than usual kiss in the kitchen
Mentioned in this episode:
Discover your initiation style here: https://vmtherapy.com/style
Listen to Episode 251: What's Your Desire Type?: https://vmtherapy.com/episode251
Want to make sure the sex is worth craving?
It's time to give and receive "I didn't know it could be that good" pleasure with the Ultimate Foreplay Guides. Our #1 best-seller for a reason.
Detailed, step-by-step instructions that guide you through expertly fingering and going down on a vulva, and giving jaw-dropping hand jobs and blow jobs.
Over 100 unique techniques designed to give your partner maximum pleasure and secret hacks to get them begging for more.
Check out The Ultimate Foreplay Guides here: https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay
Think you've tried every position? Think again.
Ultimate Sex Positions is our fully illustrated guide to 47 positions, with step-by-step guidance, tips for how to move, and smart adjustments for real bodies.
47 fully illustrated positions with step-by-step guidance for getting into, out of, and moving in each one.
17 pillow positions, because changing your angle by a few inches changes everything.
Check out Ultimate Sex Positions here: https://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex
Stay Connected Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
==========================
👏Thanks Cure. Cure’s the electrolyte mix I’ve started reaching for daily. With clean ingredients and nothing artificial, it’s become easy to stay hydrated. Find it on Amazon or use the code PILLOWTALKS for 20% off. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOWTALKS
👏Thanks Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS use code PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you!➡︎https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD
👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E275: Reasonable or Ridiculous? Sex Quotas, Oral Every Time, and Dirty Talk Dealbreakers
It's time for another round of Reasonable or Ridiculous, where we take real life couple disagreements our community members just can't settle and play referee. In this episode, you'll hear: Can you ask your …
Notas do episódio
It's time for another round of Reasonable or Ridiculous, where we take real life couple disagreements our community members just can't settle and play referee.
In this episode, you'll hear:
Can you ask your partner to start initiating again after you spent years shutting them down?
A monthly quota for sex: reasonable or red flag?
Oral every single time: too much to ask or not a big deal?
The blowjob stereotype most women believe, and what men actually told us in our foreplay survey
Asking your partner to stop saying a word that gives you the ick, without shutting down the dirty talk entirely
How to admit you've hated something in bed for years without making your partner feel terrible
Is waking your partner up because you can't sleep crossing a line?
Want to stop guessing and start feeling confident in your technique?
It’s time to give and receive “I didn’t know it could be that good” pleasure with the Ultimate Foreplay Guides. Our #1 best-seller for a reason.
Detailed, step-by-step instructions that guide you through expertly fingering and going down on a vulva, and giving jaw-dropping hand jobs and blow jobs.
Animated GIFs with tasteful illustrations that will help you become an expert at our hottest foreplay techniques.
Over 100 unique techniques designed to give your partner maximum pleasure and secret hacks to get them begging for more.
Exactly what to do before, during, and after orgasm to ensure a “my soul just left my body” experience.
Check out The Ultimate Foreplay Guides here: https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay
Stay Connected
Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
==========================
👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first order of premium, wild-caught seafood. Get seafood you can trust. ➡︎http://wildalaskan.com/PILLOW
👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Oversized, ultra-plush, and completely built for your best summer days. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com
👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E274: Is it Normal to Not Orgasm During Sex? We Got Attacked for Talking About This
We recently shared a reel answering a question from a woman who didn’t orgasm during sex. The comments section turned into something we've never experienced in over ten years of doing this, including one …
Notas do episódio
We recently shared a reel answering a question from a woman who didn’t orgasm during sex. The comments section turned into something we've never experienced in over ten years of doing this, including one accusation we still can't believe we had to respond to.
In this episode, you'll hear:
The one line in that reel that set the whole thing off
The accusation that hurt more than anything we've ever been called online
The ball of clay explanation that changes how you understand your own anatomy
The percentage of women who actually orgasm from penetration alone (it's not what you've been told)
The rule we have in our own sex life
As promised in the episode, our Survivor's Guide is a free resource for survivors of sexual assault who want to reclaim their sex life. Grab it here: https://vmtherapy.com/survivors-guide-opt-in
Finishing School is our orgasm course for women, and it starts exactly where this episode does, with understanding that you're not broken.
Learn how your anatomy actually works
Do the mindset work first, because that's what makes every technique after it land
Get step by step practices for orgasming on your own and with a partner
Learn how to create more sensation during intercourse instead of less
Check out Finishing School here: https://vmtherapy.com/orgasm
Stay Connected
Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E273: How to Try New Sex Positions Without Killing the Mood
This week we're answering all your questions about trying new positions, from how to introduce something new when you've been together forever, to why switching things up can kill the mood, to the pillow trick …
Notas do episódio
This week we're answering all your questions about trying new positions, from how to introduce something new when you've been together forever, to why switching things up can kill the mood, to the pillow trick that changes everything, plus how many positions you actually need for great sex.
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
🛏️ How to introduce new positions when you've been together forever
⭐ The most underrated position, and no, it's not missionary
🎬 Why switching out of missionary sometimes kills the mood
🍆 What to do when he goes soft during a transition
🛋️ The best pillow and furniture for better positions
⏱️ How long to give a position before deciding "nah, this isn't it"
🔢 How many positions you actually need in one session
Use this episode to talk with your partner about what you'd actually love to try next.
💦 Think you've tried every position? Think again.
Ultimate Sex Positions is our fully illustrated guide to 47 positions, with step-by-step guidance, tips for how to move, and smart adjustments for real bodies.
47 fully illustrated positions (5 new!) with step-by-step guidance
17 brand-new pillow positions, because changing your angle by a few inches changes everything
Recommendations for what each position is best for, plus troubleshooting and aftercare
Right now, get the whole guide and every bonus for just $49, half off the regular $97
The sale ends Monday, August 17, so don't wait.
👉🏻 Check out Ultimate Sex Positions here: https://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex
💛 Stay Connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Quince. Make your summer wardrobe easier. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Oversized, ultra-plush, and completely built for your best summer days. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E272: What Do Men Really Think About….? (Part 5) Rough Sex, Vibrators, and What Turns Them Off
It’s time for another episode of What Do Men Really Think About… and Xander’s back in the hot seat to answer your burning questions about preferences, fantasies, the death grip, and how to give better feedback …
Notas do episódio
It’s time for another episode of What Do Men Really Think About… and Xander’s back in the hot seat to answer your burning questions about preferences, fantasies, the death grip, and how to give better feedback in bed.
Plus, we’re giving you questions to share with your partner to help you get on the same page and build your goals for your sex life!
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
🔥 Do men actually prefer rough sex?
💬 The most misunderstood thing about men and sex
🕯️ How to use the 5 to 10 minutes right after sex for more connection
🗣️ Do men really want feedback in bed?
🍑 Reverse cowgirl, the view, and the butthole anxiety
💧 How men really feel about discharge and everything else your body does during sex
🔌 Do men get upset when you need a vibrator to orgasm?
❓ A round of quick fire preference questions to take home and ask your partner tonight
🕯️ Want more connection, intimacy, and spark in your relationship every single month?
The Spark is our monthly membership for couples who want to keep intimacy alive without having to figure it all out on their own.
Fresh, doable ways to connect delivered every month, so you never run out of ideas
Real guidance from a sex therapist and her very own regular dude
Low pressure prompts and conversations that actually fit your real life
Built for couples in any season, whether things feel stuck or you just want more of a good thing
💛 Stay Connected 👉🏻 Check out The Spark here: https://vmtherapy.com/spark
📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
==========================
👏Thanks Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS use code PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you!➡︎https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD
👏Thanks Cure. Cure Hydration just launched in Target, which I'm genuinely pumped about. I stocked up last week and the box is already half gone. So next time you're at Target, grab some! Use the code PILLOWTALKS for 20% off. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOWTALKS
👏Thanks Quince. Make your summer wardrobe easier. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E271: The Real Reason You Can't "Let Go" in Bed
You're finally in bed together, but you can’t stop thinking about tomorrow's to-do list. We've all heard the advice to “just let go”. Stop thinking, stop controlling, lose yourself. But 80% of you tell us that …
Notas do episódio
You're finally in bed together, but you can’t stop thinking about tomorrow's to-do list.
We've all heard the advice to “just let go”. Stop thinking, stop controlling, lose yourself.
But 80% of you tell us that you struggle to actually do that.
So we're saying something a little controversial this week: "just let go" might be the worst sex advice out there. Listen in to learn what actually helps you feel present and connected to your partner during sex.
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
Why "just let go" tends to backfire and pull you further into your head
The real reasons your brain won't quiet down
Why you'll never be perfectly present the whole time, and why that's actually OK
The questions to ask yourself mid-distraction to spot what's really in the way
A better goal to chase than "letting go”
How your nervous system decides whether pleasure feels safe, and how to help it settle
If you've ever laid there convinced something's wrong with you for not being able to switch off, nothing is. Your brain is doing exactly what brains do, and there's a kinder, more useful way in.
The Spark is our $9/month membership for keeping playfulness, curiosity, and closeness alive when real life keeps getting in the way.
If this episode hit home, it's the easiest place to start putting it into practice:
Fresh prompts, date ideas, and conversation starters delivered every month
Built for real couples with real lives, not just the honeymoon phase
Small, doable ways to stay connected and get out of your head together
👉🏻 Check out The Spark here: https://vmtherapy.com/spark
Stay connected
Follow us on Instagram at https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander.
Get our weekly email at https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe.
Loving the show? Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen, and leave a review to help more people find us.
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
==========================
👏Thanks Quince. Make your summer wardrobe easier. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Made from viscose from bamboo — breathable, soft, and built for summer. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E270: The 5 Silent Relationship Killers That Turn Partners Into Roommates
We ran a poll and 67% of couples told us they feel more like roommates than partners. This week we're walking through our D.R.I.F.T. Framework: the 5 silent relationship killers that chip away at intimacy, plus …
Notas do episódio
We ran a poll and 67% of couples told us they feel more like roommates than partners.
This week we're walking through our D.R.I.F.T. Framework: the 5 silent relationship killers that chip away at intimacy, plus the small shifts that bring you back to each other.
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
The full D.R.I.F.T. Framework and why that 67% roommate stat lands so hard for so many couples
📱 How the average person's 144 daily phone checks can turn date night into two people scrolling side by side
🔁 When "who's grabbing the kids?" takes over and the deeper conversations start to disappear
😐 Why the absence of conflict isn't the same as closeness
🙏 The gratitude gap that lets resentment move in, and why appreciation is one of the biggest predictors of a happy marriage
🤝 How the "bristle reaction" kills everyday affection, and the 10-second reset that brings it back
These might feel like small things, but over time they add up to real distance. The good news: once you can name them, you can start to shift them, together.
🕯️ Ready to swap the drift for a little more spark every month?
The Spark is our monthly membership for couples who want to keep choosing each other on purpose, with low-pressure ways to stay close long after the credits roll on date night.
Fresh ways to reconnect that you don't have to dream up yourself, so "fine" never gets the chance to settle in
Simple, doable ideas that bring real conversation and everyday, non-sexual affection back into your week
A monthly nudge to keep intimacy intentional, because connection takes intention, not mind-reading
👉🏻 Check out The Spark here: https://vmtherapy.com/spark
💛 Stay Connected
📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
==========================
👏Thanks Quince. Make your summer wardrobe easier. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first order of premium, wild-caught seafood. Get seafood you can trust. ➡︎http://wildalaskan.com/PILLOW
👏Thanks Cure. Cure Hydration just launched in Target, which I'm genuinely pumped about. I stocked up last week and the box is already half gone. So next time you're at Target, grab some! Use the code PILLOWTALKS for 20% off. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOWTALKS
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E269: Tie-Breakers: We Referee Your Realest Relationship Standoffs
Every couple has that one thing they’ll argue about until the end of time. TV in the bedroom. How to load the dishwasher. Can men and women just be friends? 👀 We asked our community to send us the disagreements …
Notas do episódio
Every couple has that one thing they’ll argue about until the end of time. TV in the bedroom. How to load the dishwasher. Can men and women just be friends? 👀
We asked our community to send us the disagreements they just can’t seem to settle with their partner, and today we’re weighing in as your official referees.
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
💋 Is oral foreplay or the main event?
🐾 If the pet falls asleep on your lap, are you officially off chore duty?
👀 Can men and women really be just friends? Our take.
✂️ Who gets the final say when it comes to grooming and body hair?
🕯️ Want more fun, flirting, and connection with your partner every single month?
The Spark is our monthly membership full of playful, low-pressure ways to keep things exciting, no matter how different the two of you are.
Fresh sweet & spicy date ideas, conversation starters, and intimacy prompts every month
Simple ways to reconnect, even on your busiest weeks
Something you can actually look forward to doing together without having to plan a thing
👉🏻 Check out The Spark here: https://vmtherapy.com/spark
💛 Stay Connected
📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E268: Ask Us Anything: Only Fans, The Ick, & Creeps In The Comments
It’s Xander’s birthday! And this week for our Ask Us Anything episode, we decided to answer some of your personal questions! This one really pulls back the curtain on us as a couple. Ready for honest reactions …
Notas do episódio
It’s Xander’s birthday! And this week for our Ask Us Anything episode, we decided to answer some of your personal questions!
This one really pulls back the curtain on us as a couple. Ready for honest reactions, beyond real talk, and more than a little oversharing?
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
Whether we've ever set foot in a swingers or sex club
If we’re starting an Only Fans
Is it weird that our parents know intimate details about our sex lives because of what we do
Our honest answers about giving each other the Ick
Who really initiates more between the two of us
Our favorite time of day for sex, and the reasoning behind it
How we handle the creeps who show up in our comments
The single position we'd choose if we had to pick just one forever
At the end of the day, we're two people figuring out long-term love, running a business, and life together… while keeping intimacy our priority. Thanks for being on the ride with us.
🔥 The Ultimate Foreplay Guides: https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay 🔥 Ultimate Sex Positions: http://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex 🔥 The Art of Initiation: https://buy.vmtherapy.com/art-of-initiation?utm_term=podcast
🔗 Links & Resources
🛏️ Get the TABU Pillow — Comfortable, discreet, and actually changes the angle in ways that make a big difference 🔥. We’re obsessed. → https://vmtherapy.com/pillow
💛 Stay Connected
📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
==========================
👏Thanks Quince. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Made from viscose from bamboo — breathable, soft, and built for summer. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com
👏Thanks Cure. So Cure Hydration is officially in Target now, which I'm way too excited about. I stocked up last week and I'm not ashamed to say I've already restocked. Use the code PILLOWTALKS for 20% off. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOWTALKS
👏Thanks Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS use code PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you!➡︎https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E267: The Hygiene Episode
Should I shower first? Is this normal? Why does it smell like that? This week we're going there with zero judgment, answering your real hygiene and sex questions one by one. Nobody taught us how to actually …
Notas do episódio
Should I shower first? Is this normal? Why does it smell like that?
This week we're going there with zero judgment, answering your real hygiene and sex questions one by one.
Nobody taught us how to actually take care of our bodies for sex. Not our parents, not health class, not anyone. And so we've been left to piece it together ourselves, often while carrying a whole lot of shame that doesn't belong to us.
That's exactly what this episode is about. We got flooded with questions from our Instagram audience on hygiene and sex, and we're answering all of it, honestly, warmly, and with more poop talk than either of us anticipated.
From what to do before and after, to discharge, breath, smells, and the great cleanup debate, we're covering it all.
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
What actually matters (and what you can skip) when it comes to staying fresh before and after sex
Why the shame we carry about our bodies being "dirty" around sex is making everything harder, and messier
What your vulva actually needs to stay clean (spoiler: way less than you've been told)
Why semen can have a smell, and when it's actually worth a second thought
How to tell your partner their breath or body odor is getting in the way of intimacy, without it turning into a fight
The gush: what it is, why it happens, and what you can actually do about it
The after-sex cleanup debate: cup-and-shuffle, a towel by the bed, or straight to the shower
If you've ever felt self-conscious about your body, your smell, or what counts as "normal," we hope this one leaves you feeling a whole lot more at ease. There's no shame here, just us answering the questions everyone's secretly Googling.
🕯️ Want to keep things exciting long after this episode ends?
The Spark is our monthly membership for couples who want to stay connected, playful, and turned on, without having to figure it all out on your own.
Fresh ideas and prompts delivered every month to keep intimacy feeling alive
Low-pressure ways to reconnect, even on your busiest weeks
Made for real couples and real bodies, zero shame required
A simple monthly nudge to put each other first again
👉🏻 Check out The Spark here: https://vmtherapy.com/spark
💛 Stay Connected
📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
==========================
👏Thanks Quince. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
👏Thanks The Spark. No planning. No awkward ‘what should we do?’ Just open it and go.And it’s only nine dollars a month, cancel anytime. Because a little spark goes a long way. ➡︎https://buy.vmtherapy.com/the-spark
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E266: Ask a Sex Therapist (Part 3) Sex Pillows, Squirting, and Standing-Up Sex
You send us your most "I can't believe I'm actually asking this" questions, and we live for it. So we're back with the third edition of Ask a Sex Therapist, going rapid-fire through as many of them as we can …
Notas do episódio
You send us your most "I can't believe I'm actually asking this" questions, and we live for it.
So we're back with the third edition of Ask a Sex Therapist, going rapid-fire through as many of them as we can, with real answers, tips, and stories.
No question is too awkward, too niche, or too "is it too late to ask this at my age?"
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
What "tossed salad" actually means, because it's never too late to ask
How to tell if you're about to squirt or pee, and whether squirting is even real
Is the G-spot orgasm real? We settle it
Sex pillows and spit as lube: the honest yes-or-no on both
Why standing-up sex never seems to work, and how to fix it
Why a partner might go soft when you're on top
Strap-ons as a tool for guys facing performance pressure
Whether it's worth shaking things up when your sex is already great
If you've ever sat on a question because it felt too weird to say out loud, consider this your permission slip. Chances are, someone else is wondering the exact same thing.
🔗 LINKS & RESOURCES
Get the TABU Pillow
Comfortable, discreet, and actually changes the angle in ways that make a big difference . We’re obsessed. 👉🏻 [INSERT LINK]
💦 Variety is the spice of life (and your sex life)
Ultimate Sex Positions is our guide to over forty illustrated positions, with step-by-step help getting into, out of, and moving in each one.
Over 40 positions with clear, illustrated, step-by-step guidance
The fixes for the ones that never seem to work (standing-up sex, we see you)
Toe-curling, bedsheet-gripping experiences built for both of you
Plus the secret to actually craving more sex
👉🏻 Check out Ultimate Sex Positions here: https://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex
💪 For the guys: no shame in your game
The Modern Man's Guide to Conquering Performance Pressure gets into what's happening in your brain and your body, so sex feels good instead of stressful.
A holistic approach to performance anxiety and erections
Real help for early ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, and going soft
Build genuine confidence in your technique
For hotter, more satisfying sex, minus the stress
👉🏻 Check out The Modern Man's Guide here: https://vmtherapy.com/modernman
💛 Stay Connected
📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E265: Is This Cheating? (Part 3) Emotional Affairs, Secret Texts, and Sneaky DMs
Have you and your partner ever actually sat down and defined what counts as cheating? Most of us never do, which is exactly why the gray areas get so complicated. We're back with Part 3 of Is This Cheating? …
Notas do episódio
Have you and your partner ever actually sat down and defined what counts as cheating?
Most of us never do, which is exactly why the gray areas get so complicated.
We're back with Part 3 of Is This Cheating?, weighing in on your trickiest, most "wait, is that okay?" scenarios.
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
Why every couple has to define cheating for themselves, and the talks most people skip
Real listener dilemmas: late-night drives, a secret sex-shop trip, and disappearing text threads
The female-friendship situations that blur the line between platonic and something more
Our honest take on the big one: does masturbation count as cheating?
A rapid-fire round on nudes, dating apps "for friends," flirty DMs, and drunk Vegas kisses
Why this is the perfect episode to play for your partner and talk through together
If you've ever felt unsure whether something crossed a line, you're not overreacting and you're not alone. The clearer you get on your own definition, the easier these conversations get.
🕯️ Want more connection, intimacy, and spark in your relationship every single month?
The Spark is our monthly membership that delivers fresh, low-lift ways to connect, flirt, and keep things exciting.
New prompts and ideas delivered to you every single month
Designed to spark real conversation and connection, together
Low commitment and big payoff, for just a few dollars a month
Perfect if tonight's episode has you wanting to reconnect with your person
👉🏻 Check out The Spark here: https://vmtherapy.com/spark
💛 Stay Connected
📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
==========================
👏Thanks Quince. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
👏Thanks Cozy Earth. This spring, give yourself the kind of comfort that lives with you all day — not just the moment you get home. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E264: What Women Really Think About... Part 3
So we're back with Part 3 of What Do Women Really Think About…?, giving you the honest answers women don't always say out loud. From the mental load to mirror selfies, nothing’s off limits. 💛 In this episode …
Notas do episódio
So we're back with Part 3 of What Do Women Really Think About…?, giving you the honest answers women don't always say out loud.
From the mental load to mirror selfies, nothing’s off limits.
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
Whether women actually want a "book boyfriend," or if that fantasy is better left on the page?
The real deal on mental load: is it running in the background every single day?
Cum on the face: hot, not, or total depends? We give you the honest answer.
Dick pics and mirror selfies: what reads as sexy vs what gets an instant delete?
Blowjobs before a shower: the candid take you've been too shy to ask about.
Why women open up to their friends about their sex lives so freely?
Getting finished with hands or fingers: thoughtful move, or last-ditch effort?
Here's the thing: the questions that feel embarrassing to ask are usually the ones everyone else is secretly wondering too. You're not weird for being curious. You're just paying attention.
🍆 Ready to be the best they've ever had?
The Ultimate Foreplay Guides are our step-by-step guides to using your hands and mouth on your partner in ways that will blow their mind.
Clear, no-guesswork techniques for fingering, oral, handjobs, and blow jobs.
Separate guides for vulvas and penises, so you know exactly what to do.
Built to take you from unsure to genuinely confident.
Perfect if today's questions left you wanting to level up.
👉🏻 Check out The Ultimate Foreplay Guides here: https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay
💛 Stay Connected
📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Quince. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow 👏Thanks StoryWorth. This year, give Dad a gift that captures who he really is, before the stories get harder to remember. Father's day is Sunday, June21st. Order RIGHT NOW and save up to $20. ➡︎https://storyworth.com/pillow 👏Thanks Cure. Not all hydration is created equal. Cure does it right with simple, clead ingredients and flavors worth reaching for all summer long. Use the code PILLOWTALKS for 20% off. Find Cure now at target this summer! Real ingredients. Real Hydration. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOWTALKS 👏Thanks Remi. Protect your teeth with Remi by using code PILLOW to get 50% off your new night guard with Remi Club Subscribe & Save. ➡︎https://shopremi.com/PILLOW
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E263: How to Have More Fun in Your Relationship
When was the last time you and your partner did something purely for fun? Not productive, not logistical, not about the kids, just fun. If you had to think about it for a beat, you're not alone. Most long-term …
Notas do episódio
When was the last time you and your partner did something purely for fun? Not productive, not logistical, not about the kids, just fun.
If you had to think about it for a beat, you're not alone. Most long-term couples slowly drift from enjoying each other to managing life together, and fun is usually the first thing to quietly disappear.
In this episode, we're talking about why couples lose the fun, why it matters way more than most people realize, and 5 surprisingly simple ways to bring it back.
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
Why fun is one of the most underrated forms of intimacy (and how it actually builds resilience, attraction, and friendship)
The IG poll results that show just how universal this is. Only 21% of our community said they have a lot of fun in their relationship
The most common things that get in the way of fun, from kids and money stress to "we honestly just forget"
The reframe that helps you find more time for fun.
If you've been feeling more like roommates than romantic partners lately, this episode is a gentle reminder that it’s possible to bring back the fun.
🕯️ Want more fun, connection, and intimacy in your relationship every single month? The Spark is our $9/month subscription designed to keep playfulness, curiosity, and closeness alive in your relationship.
Fresh prompts, date ideas, and conversation starters delivered monthly
Designed for real couples with real lives, not just the honeymoon phase
Easy to fit in, impossible to ignore
Only $9/month, less than a latte and way better for your relationship
👉🏻 Check out The Spark here: https://buy.vmtherapy.com/the-spark?utm_term=podcast
🔗 Links & Resources
Sex Talks (our book) → https://sextalksbook.com
The Ultimate Foreplay Guides → https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay
Ultimate Sex Positions → https://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex
💛 Stay Connected
📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
==========================
👏Thanks StoryWorth. This year, give Dad a gift that captures who he really is, before the stories get harder to remember. Father's day is Sunday, June21st. Order RIGHT NOW and save up to $20. ➡︎https://storyworth.com/pillow
👏Thanks Quince. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Free Shipping on your order and 365-day returns. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
👏Thanks Cozy Earth. This spring, give yourself the kind of comfort that lives with you all day — not just the moment you get home. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com
👏Thanks Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS use code PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you!➡︎https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E262: The Sex Personality Quiz Every Couple Needs (And What Your Type Says About You)
Ever feel like you and your partner are speaking totally different languages when it comes to sex? One of you wants spontaneity, the other needs to feel emotionally close first. One of you craves novelty, the …
Notas do episódio
Ever feel like you and your partner are speaking totally different languages when it comes to sex? One of you wants spontaneity, the other needs to feel emotionally close first. One of you craves novelty, the other finds comfort in what already works.
Here's the thing: it's probably not about compatibility. It's about your sex personality types.
In this episode, we walk you through all five types, what drives each one, the superpowers they bring to a relationship, the shadows that can quietly cause friction, and how knowing your type (and your partner's) can completely change the way you understand each other.
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
Why understanding your sex personality can shift everything about how you connect with your partner
🔥 The Firestarter — the spontaneity-fueled type who treats passion as proof of connection
💞 The Connector — for whom emotional intimacy is the door to physical intimacy
🌸 The Sensualist — present, embodied, sensory-driven
🪶 The Adventurer — curious, playful, novelty-seeking
⚓ The Anchor — steady, communicative, and grounding
How to reframe your partner's "differences" as information, not rejection
Why understanding your blend can take you out of the blame cycle and into actual change
Whether you've been together six months or sixteen years, this episode gives you a whole new lens for understanding why you want what you want, and why your partner wants what they want. Less guessing. Less misreading. A lot more clarity.
✨ Want to know your sex personality type? Take our free quiz here → https://vmtherapy.com/sex-personality-type
🕯️ Want more connection, intimacy, and spark in your relationship every single month?
The Spark is our $9/month subscription designed to keep the fun, curiosity, and closeness alive in your relationship.
Fresh intimacy prompts, date ideas, and conversation starters delivered monthly
Designed for real couples with real lives (not just the honeymoon phase)
Easy to fit in, impossible to ignore
Only $9/month, less than a latte and way better for your relationship
👉🏻 Check out The Spark here: https://buy.vmtherapy.com/the-spark?utm_term=podcast
💛 Stay Connected
📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Quince. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Free Shipping on your order and 365-day returns. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow 👏Thanks Birch. We want all our listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night's sleep with a new mattress from Birch and get 27% off. ➡︎https://birchliving.com/PILLOWTALKS 👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first order of premium, wild-caught seafood. Get seafood you can trust. ➡︎http://wildalaskan.com/PILLOW 👏Thanks Cure. Staying hydrated isn't just about water - you also need electrolytes. That's why we love Cure. It's clean and tastes great! Real ingredients. Real hydration. You can grab Cure on Amazon or find a store near you. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOW
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E261: ED, PE & Everything In Between: Your Performance Problems Solved (Part 2)
The response to our first episode on penis performance problems was so big that we knew we had to come back for round two. In this episode, we're getting into the practical stuff: what to do in the moment when …
Notas do episódio
The response to our first episode on penis performance problems was so big that we knew we had to come back for round two.
In this episode, we're getting into the practical stuff: what to do in the moment when things aren't going as planned, how to keep your sex life feeling connected and fun even when performance issues are in the mix, and how both partners can show up for each other without making everything weird.
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
Whether you need to tell your wife you're taking ED meds
How to get out of your head before sex when PE anxiety is already spiraling
Practical tricks for lasting longer — specific, usable techniques that actually help
How to bring spontaneity back when Viagra has a 30-minute waiting period — because yes, this is fixable
How to bring up a performance issue with a partner who doesn't seem to notice it — the conversation you've been avoiding, made easier
What to do when he loses his erection mid-sex
When it's time to bring in a doctor — because sometimes the answer really is medical
If you or your partner have ever felt alone in navigating this stuff, this episode is proof that you're not.
🔗 LINKS & RESOURCES
We've put together a guide that goes even deeper into everything we talked about today. The Modern Man's Guide to Conquering Performance Pressure is a step-by-step resource built from Vanessa's years of sex therapy practice — real tools, real techniques, zero fluff.
Strategies for erectile difficulties, early ejaculation, and delayed ejaculation
Exercises you can use on your own and in the moment with a partner
A whole chapter for partners — because this is a team sport
Practical and shame-free from start to finish
👉🏻 Check out The Modern Man's Guide here: vmtherapy.com/modernman
💛 STAY CONNECTED
📸 Follow us on Instagram →
https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame →
https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
If you're enjoying Pillow Talks, subscribing and leaving a review makes a huge difference — it helps more people find the show and actually improve their sex lives. We appreciate every single one.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E260: How To Orgasm Like A Man: Breaking The Blocks That Keep Women Stuck
For a lot of women, orgasm feels like this mysterious thing that either happens or it doesn't. Nobody taught you how. And somewhere along the way, you picked up the idea that your pleasure is complicated, too …
Notas do episódio
For a lot of women, orgasm feels like this mysterious thing that either happens or it doesn't. Nobody taught you how. And somewhere along the way, you picked up the idea that your pleasure is complicated, too demanding, or just... less important.
But here's what we want you to hear: that's NOT true.
In this episode, we reframe the whole conversation, asking what it would look like if women approached their own pleasure with the same expectation men do. No apology, no overthinking, no putting everyone else first.
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
The mental blocks that pull women out of the moment, from body distraction and to-do list thinking to feeling awkward or selfish for focusing on your own pleasure at all.
The technique gaps no one ever filled in, including what to do if you've never had an orgasm, if you can only get there through oral, or you can get there on your own but not with a partner.
The relational stuff that makes it even harder — worrying about how you smell or taste, not knowing how to redirect a partner without hurting his feelings, and the faking cycle that's been going on so long you don't even know how to stop.
How to think like a man during sex and what it would actually mean for a woman to show up to her pleasure with that same sense of entitlement (in the best possible way).
What the path forward actually looks like, whether you're starting from zero or expanding what's already working, both solo and with a partner.
If you've ever felt like your orgasm is the last priority, this one is for you.
🔗 LINKS & RESOURCES
Finishing School is Vanessa's step-by-step system for learning how to orgasm consistently, reliably, and in more ways than you might think possible.
It's been completely rebuilt around the three blocks covered in this episode: Mindset, Technique, and Partnership.
Work through the mental and emotional blocks keeping you stuck in your head
Learn The Finishing Formula and the specific techniques most likely to get you there
Built to meet you exactly where you are, with a 30-day money-back guarantee
👉🏻 Check out Finishing School here: vmtherapy.com/orgasm
💛 STAY CONNECTED
📸 Follow us on Instagram →
https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame →
https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
If you're enjoying Pillow Talks, subscribing and leaving a review makes a huge difference — it helps more people find the show and actually improve their sex lives. We appreciate every single one.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E259: Sex and Intimacy After Kids: What Actually Works (From Parents Who've Figured It Out)
This one's for the sleep-deprived, the time-starved, the diaper-changing, homework-helping parents who still want to feel like a couple. We see you. And we asked our community to help us show up for you in a …
Notas do episódio
This one's for the sleep-deprived, the time-starved, the diaper-changing, homework-helping parents who still want to feel like a couple.
We see you. And we asked our community to help us show up for you in a big way.
In this episode, we're reading real responses from real parents — practical, doable ideas and a little tough love for making intimacy a priority again, even with kids in the house.
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
Why we talk about parenting and intimacy even though we don't have kids ourselves
The #1 thing our parent community says completely changed their sex life (hint: it involves your calendar)
How to stop resentment before it builds
The small acts of emotional intimacy that go a long way
The little rituals making a real difference
Timing hacks that real parents swear by
The privacy solutions couples are using so they can actually relax
Mindset shifts that unstick couples from dry spells and all-or-nothing thinking
A powerful DM from a parent in our community that will challenge you, encourage you, and maybe make you tear up a little
Your relationship isn't something you'll get back to someday. This episode is the reminder you needed to start now.
✨ Want a simple, fun way to keep the spark alive every single month?
The Spark is our $9/month subscription packed with fresh intimacy prompts, date ideas, and conversation starters — designed for real couples with real lives.
👉🏻 Check out The Spark here: https://vmtherapy.com/spark
Talking to your kids about sex and relationships doesn't have to be awkward — but it does have to happen.
Beyond The Birds & The Bees is our guide to having honest, age-appropriate conversations with your kids about bodies, relationships, and healthy sexuality — so they hear it from you first.
Practical scripts and conversation starters for every age
Takes the guesswork (and the cringe) out of the talk
Helps you raise kids with healthy attitudes about sex and relationships
Because the best gift you can give your kids is parents who aren't afraid to go there
👉🏻 Check out Beyond The Birds & The Bees here: http://vmtherapy.com/kids
💛 Stay Connected
📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame →
https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
==========================
👏Thanks Cozy Earth. This spring, give yourself the kind of comfort that lives with you all day — not just the moment you get home. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com
👏Thanks Birch. We want all our listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night's sleep with a new mattress from Birch and get 27% off. ➡︎https://birchliving.com/PILLOWTALKS
👏Thanks Quince. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Free Shipping on your order and 365-day returns. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E258: Weed, Alcohol, and Sex: What's Actually Happening to Your Body and Desire
Whether it's a glass of wine to take the edge off or a gummy to get out of your head, a lot of people use substances to feel more relaxed, more connected, or more in the mood. But there's a lot more happening …
Notas do episódio
Whether it's a glass of wine to take the edge off or a gummy to get out of your head, a lot of people use substances to feel more relaxed, more connected, or more in the mood.
But there's a lot more happening under the surface than most people realize.
In this episode, we're pulling back the sheets on how alcohol and marijuana actually affect desire, arousal, communication, and orgasm — including some real talk from our own experience and candid responses straight from our Pillow Talks community.
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
Why we're upfront about our bias as sober people — and why some of our worst sex happened while intoxicated
The real reasons people turn to substances for sex
What our community shared about their own experiences — from laughing too hard to try anything, to not being able to orgasm at all
The dangers that don't get talked about enough: impaired judgment, consent confusion, emotional flattening, and how substances can make it harder to get aroused, get wet, get hard, or finish
The long-term patterns to watch for, including building a dependence on substances just to feel intimate
Is sober sex awkward at first?
What to do if your libido is low and you're wondering if weed might help
How to tell your partner that sex while intoxicated makes you uncomfortable
What to do if you're the one who's been relying on substances to get in the mood and you want to change that
This one is honest, a little vulnerable, and genuinely useful, whether substances are a regular part of your sex life or you've never even thought about it.
🕯️ Want more connection, intimacy, and spark in your relationship — every single month?
The Spark is our $9/month subscription designed to keep the fun, curiosity, and closeness alive in your relationship.
Fresh intimacy prompts, date ideas, and conversation starters delivered monthly
Designed for real couples with real lives (not just the honeymoon phase)
Easy to fit in, impossible to ignore
Only $9/month — less than a latte, way better for your relationship
👉🏻 Check out The Spark here: https://buy.vmtherapy.com/the-spark?utm_term=podcast
💛 Stay Connected
📸 Follow us on Instagram →
https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame →
https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
==========================
👏Thanks Cure. Staying hydrated isn't just about water - you also need electrolytes. That's why we love Cure. It's clean and tastes great! Real ingredients. Real hydration. You can grab Cure on Amazon or find a store near you. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOW
👏Thanks Birch. We want all our listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night's sleep with a new mattress from Birch and get 20% off. ➡︎https://birchliving.com/PILLOWTALKS
👏Thanks Quince. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Free Shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
👏Thanks StoryWorth. This year, give Mom a gift that helps her reflect on her life with fresh perspective and gives your whole family the gift of her stories. Mother's Day is Sunday, May 10th. Order RIGHT NOW and sve up to $20. ➡︎https://storyworth.com/pillow
👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first box of premium, wild-caught seafood. Get seafood you can trust. ➡︎http://wildalaskan.com/PILLOW
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
E257: Am I The Asshole? Oversharing, Snoring, and Body Shaming
One of our favorite series is back. You sent us your wildest, messiest, most "wait… am I the problem here?" relationship stories. And we have opinions. We're talking about a wife who's been sharing intimate …
Notas do episódio
One of our favorite series is back.
You sent us your wildest, messiest, most "wait… am I the problem here?" relationship stories. And we have opinions.
We're talking about a wife who's been sharing intimate details about her husband with her entire family for years (but only good things, so it's fine… right?). A partner who was a little too honest about his wife's body (brutal). Neighbors banging on the ceiling mid-sex. And a whole lot more.
Some of these had us genuinely torn. Others? Not so much.
💛 In this episode, you'll hear:
Is it okay to talk about your sex life with friends and family… even if your partner doesn't know?
When "just being honest" about attraction crosses a line
The initiation that was so bad it killed the mood instantly
What happens when your neighbor tries to police your sex life
Our honest takes on every single one (and we don't always agree)
Whether you're here to feel validated, get a reality check, or just enjoy some relationship drama that isn't yours… this one's a fun ride.
🔗 Links & Resources Catch up on past AITA episodes:
🔥 Want to give your partner the best foreplay they’ve ever had?
The Ultimate Foreplay Guides are our step-by-step guides to expertly pleasuring your partner, with detailed techniques, animated GIFs, and audio walkthroughs. • Over 100 unique techniques for fingering, oral, hand jobs, and blow jobs • Beautiful animated illustrations so you know exactly what to do • Written and audio versions of both guides • Inclusive language and visuals, because everyone deserves great pleasure
Stop guessing and start giving your partner a “my soul just left my body” experience.
👉🏻 Check out The Ultimate Foreplay Guides here: https://buy.vmtherapy.com/ultimate-foreplay-guides? Stay connected 💛 📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame →
https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!
==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
==========================
👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Let this Mother’s Day be a reminder that she deserves care, too — discover how Cozy Earth turns everyday routines into moments of softness and ease. Use code PILLOW to get up to 20% off. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com
👏Thanks Birch. We want all our listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night's sleep with a new mattress from Birch and get 20% off. ➡︎https://birchliving.com/PILLOWTALKS
👏Thanks Quince. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Free Shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Aqui estão os 40 episódios mais recentes de 286. Os mais antigos estão no feed do podcast.
Podcasts parecidos
Mais podcasts de Saúde e fitness
Este podcast é seu?
Confirme com uma entrada no seu feed: você recebe um código aqui, adiciona como podcast:txt no canal do seu feed e nós verificamos. Depois disso, seu podcast aparece como “verificado” no SoundNode.