They Mess You Up with Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan
- Episodes
- 74
- Released
- weekly
- Latest episode
- Nov 11, 2026
About the podcast
A weekly podcast series presented by family doctor and broadcaster, Dr. Ciara Kelly & family psychotherapist and author, Dr. Richard Hogan. They Mess You Up is a straight-talking show that unpacks messy, everyday relationship and mental-health issues with a mix of clinical perspective, personal anecdotes and wry, no-nonsense banter. They cover topics from affairs, jealousy and people-pleasing to anxiety, parenting and dating after separation, with practical takeaways framed by the hosts’ professional experience. The show is a pragmatic guide to why people hurt each other - and themselves.
Episodes 74
Money Matters - Listener Survey
Ciara Kelly and Richard Hogan discuss the results of our listener survey on relationships and money, exploring how finances affect dating, what our spending habits say about us, and why having your own money …
Show notes
Ciara Kelly and Richard Hogan discuss the results of our listener survey on relationships and money, exploring how finances affect dating, what our spending habits say about us, and why having your own money matters. They also look at financial control as a potential red flag in relationships. This episode is also available to watch on YouTube.
They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors.
Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
Messy Bits... It was only a kiss!
Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
Staying Together for the Kids
Does staying in an unhappy relationship really protect your children, or can growing up around conflict, resentment and emotional distance do more damage than separation?Ciara Kelly and Richard Hogan explore …
Show notes
Does staying in an unhappy relationship really protect your children, or can growing up around conflict, resentment and emotional distance do more damage than separation?
Ciara Kelly and Richard Hogan explore when relationships reach breaking point, the impact of divorce on children, and how to put your kids first if you decide to walk away.
They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors.
Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
Messy Bits... Friends with your Ex?
Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
Understanding Anxiety
Anxiety is a normal part of life, but what happens when worry starts running the show? Ciara and Richard explore why we get anxious, how our thoughts fuel it, and what we can do to stop it taking over.They Mess …
Show notes
Anxiety is a normal part of life, but what happens when worry starts running the show? Ciara and Richard explore why we get anxious, how our thoughts fuel it, and what we can do to stop it taking over.
They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors.
Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!
Messy Bits… Daddy Is in Love with Mammy’s Friend
Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
Body Hang-Ups
We learn to pick apart our bodies from a young age, but how does that affect the way we see ourselves? Ciara and Richard discuss body image, diet culture, social media and how we can help ourselves and our …
Show notes
We learn to pick apart our bodies from a young age, but how does that affect the way we see ourselves? Ciara and Richard discuss body image, diet culture, social media and how we can help ourselves and our children build a healthier relationship with our bodies.
They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors.
Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!
Messy Bits…Sandwich generation struggle
Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
Perfectionism
Ever feel pressure to be perfect? Ciara and Richard explore the anxiety behind perfectionism, where it comes from, and how to stop tying your self-worth to getting everything right. They Mess You Up, with Dr …
Show notes
Ever feel pressure to be perfect? Ciara and Richard explore the anxiety behind perfectionism, where it comes from, and how to stop tying your self-worth to getting everything right.
They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors.
Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!
Messy Bits…Are Dating Apps Dirt?!
A listener has had enough of dating apps and wants some advice. Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
Messy Bits... Boundaries with in-laws
Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
Intrusive Thoughts
Why do we have thoughts that horrify us? And what do they actually mean? Ciara and Richard explain why intrusive thoughts can be so distressing, why having one doesn't mean you want to act on it, and how to …
Show notes
Why do we have thoughts that horrify us? And what do they actually mean? Ciara and Richard explain why intrusive thoughts can be so distressing, why having one doesn't mean you want to act on it, and how to stop getting caught in the cycle.
They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors.
Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!
Messy Bits... Why Do I Want Other Men?
Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
School Avoidance
When anxiety makes going to school feel impossible, how do you break the cycle of avoidance? Ciara and Richard discuss school refusal, anxiety, and how parents and schools can help young people find their way …
Show notes
When anxiety makes going to school feel impossible, how do you break the cycle of avoidance? Ciara and Richard discuss school refusal, anxiety, and how parents and schools can help young people find their way back.
They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors.
Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!
Messy Bits... Functioning Alcoholic
Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
AI Relationships
AI is becoming more than a tool, for some people, it's a friend, confidant or even a romantic partner. Ciara and Richard explore why we're turning to AI for connection and validation, and what that could mean …
Show notes
AI is becoming more than a tool, for some people, it's a friend, confidant or even a romantic partner. Ciara and Richard explore why we're turning to AI for connection and validation, and what that could mean for our mental health, relationships and children.
They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors.
Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!
Messy Bits... Red Flags or Fussy?
Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
Are You Dealing With a Narcissist?
Narcissism is a term we throw around a lot, but what actually makes someone a narcissist? Ciara and Richard look at narcissistic personality disorder, how it plays out in families and relationships, and the red …
Show notes
Narcissism is a term we throw around a lot, but what actually makes someone a narcissist? Ciara and Richard look at narcissistic personality disorder, how it plays out in families and relationships, and the red flags to watch for.
They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors.
Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!
Messy Bits... Is this it?
Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
No Regrets?
Is regret useful, or does it just keep us stuck in the past? Ciara and Richard explore the choices, missed opportunities and “what ifs” that can haunt us, and whether sometimes the biggest regret is the thing …
Show notes
Is regret useful, or does it just keep us stuck in the past? Ciara and Richard explore the choices, missed opportunities and “what ifs” that can haunt us, and whether sometimes the biggest regret is the thing we didn't do.
They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors.
Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!
Messy Bits... Toxic Boss
Messy Bits... The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
CAO: You’re Not Your Points
CAO results day can feel like the future has been decided by a single set of points for students and parents alike. But what happens when you don’t get the course you wanted? Ciara and Richard talk about …
Show notes
CAO results day can feel like the future has been decided by a single set of points for students and parents alike. But what happens when you don’t get the course you wanted? Ciara and Richard talk about disappointment, alternative routes and the very non-linear paths that can lead to a career and a life you never originally planned.
They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors.
Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!
Messy Bits... Introverts
Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
The One That Got Away
Why do we romanticise the person we didn't end up with? Ciara and Richard explore the “one that got away”, why our memories can make the past look better than it was, and whether we’re missing the person or the …
Show notes
Why do we romanticise the person we didn't end up with? Ciara and Richard explore the “one that got away”, why our memories can make the past look better than it was, and whether we’re missing the person or the life we imagined with them.
They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors.
Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!
Messy Bits...ADHD & Marriage
Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
Adult Kids at Home
More adult children are living at home for longer, but how do you live with your kids when they're no longer kids? Ciara and Richard discuss rent, rules, partners staying over, boundaries and how to make it …
Show notes
More adult children are living at home for longer, but how do you live with your kids when they're no longer kids? Ciara and Richard discuss rent, rules, partners staying over, boundaries and how to make it work without driving each other mad.
They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors.
Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
Messy Bits... Cold Feet? Or something more?
Messy Bits: The weekly bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram message @TheyMessYouUpPod
Are We Too Soft?
Are we becoming less resilient or just more open about our struggles? Ciara and Richard discuss discomfort, resilience, parenting, and whether protecting ourselves from life's challenges is doing more harm than …
Show notes
Are we becoming less resilient or just more open about our struggles? Ciara and Richard discuss discomfort, resilience, parenting, and whether protecting ourselves from life's challenges is doing more harm than good.
Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod
They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!
Messy Bits... Body Shaming
Messy Bits: The weekly bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram message @TheyMessYouUpPod
Is Monogamy Outdated?
Is monogamy still realistic or are we expecting too much from one person? Ciara and Richard discuss open relationships, affairs, lifelong commitment, and whether monogamy still has a place in modern life.
These are the latest 40 of 74 episodes. You’ll find older episodes in the podcast’s feed.
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